Cure my insanity, PLEASE!

[DWHJ]

I am currently, still, what with my insanity and all, attempting to get into the occult. It's been near ten years. I, however, sadly, cannot stay calm while going through the training. I suffer from such a madness that I chronically have such racing thoughts with hypothetical, unlikely, situations that I end up yelling at no one while banging on walls and doors. I pace and yell each and every single one of my days away and have for more than half a decade. I go to a psychiatrist and still I cannot receive over the near decade of getting "professional help" whatever is supposed to cure or at least help keep me calm enough so that I can get "cured" of the mental health problems I possess or for that matter to get through the training to be able to summon spirits. I AM DESPERATE! I need someone to use the spell from the spirit found on page 308 of Franz Bardon's book "Practice of Magical Evocation" to cure me of the insanity that I unfortunately possess. Elsewise, I shall never get into the occult. [crymore] [sadface] Please, respond so I can know that someone is going to help me with my mental illness. I don't need to know the spell myself. I just need someone to utter the spell while thinking of me. Anyone who wishes to help me needs to respond. Thanks in advance. Ielahiah is the name of the spirit.

[Desecrated]

The occult isn't for everyone.
If your current doctor isn't helping you get the results you want, find another one, try some new medication.

[TruthSeeker_]

I agree with Desecrated.

If you can't even sit still and meditate to calm your mind than you are in need of a medication. A doctor is better positioned to help you. You can't ignore the medical science. Serious mental illnesses can't really be cured as far as we know but they can be stabilized and brought to a manageable level. That's what you should be aiming for at this point, instead of looking for a magickal solution to solve all your problems.

Sorry, that's probably not the answer you were looking for but it's my honest opinion.

[CCoburn]

Unless you live in the US, Healthcare in the US Sucks. It's not even about healthcare, it's about making money. Outrageous costs. I avoid it.

The healthcare system will take all your money, even if you have insurance, they will bill you for stupid shit.

They will then ruin your credit if you can't pay your bill, leaving you even more fucked up than before!

I do find the above documentaries very entertaining however, so it's good for that.

[LoneWolf]

Stop bullshitting. It's all you. All you are is mind. You choose to let anger control you. You can choose to be peaceful. Dettach from it. Breathe. Stop putting shit into your system. Eat good. Don't eat shit-food. Don't feed shit to your mind either. Don't watch TV. Don't listen to your parents. Don't listen to your doctor. Take a deep breath. Listen to yourself. Meditate. REALLY try. Acknowledge you are here for a reason. It is not obviously to be controlled by your fears and shit environment. Fear is the gate. Love is the key. Do whatever you must to feel good. Take walks in the night. Alone. Sleep all you must. Take time for you. Do whatever you must to feel peace. Listen to the ocean waves at midnight, touch the trees of the park. Breathe. Take time for yourself. You can do it. Been there. My love to you.

Regards

[WillowDarkWytch]

Motumbá Àse

DWHJ, since when do you have this problem?
You were born with it?
Did something happend when you were a child that might have triggered it?
Is it relatively recent? How old are you?
When does these episodes happen or what would you say it triggers them?

I have an "occult" opinion, a therapeutic opinion and a spiritual opinion from ATR point of view. But I need you to specify these things.

I'll help you with whatever I may.

Saravá,
Idansinají

[DWHJ]

I had this problem since about 2009. I was not born with it. It occurred not in my childhood but in early adulthood. I am 26 nearing 27 in March. These episodes happens throughout the day at no specific repetitive time. Anxiety is what triggers them. I get so caught up with a "what if?" scenario of failing at life all over again that I prevent myself from getting better to even give myself the opportunity to fail all over again. BTW what is ATR?

[WillowDarkWytch]

I had this problem since about 2009. I was not born with it. It occurred not in my childhood but in early adulthood. I am 26 nearing 27 in March. These episodes happens throughout the day at no specific repetitive time. Anxiety is what triggers them. I get so caught up with a "what if?" scenario of failing at life all over again that I prevent myself from getting better to even give myself the opportunity to fail all over again. BTW what is ATR?

Psychiatrist haven't diagnosed you with Schizofrenia, right?

For the occult thing I guess it's gonna be hard to achieve anything if you don't learn how to dominate your axiety. You need to learn (baby steps) to meditate and to calm your self. You could work with Pranayama. Also, use a strong will to not hurt yourself when the episodes come, to overpower your anger. That's something that you'll have to do like just take consciousness in the moment, be conscious about it when it happens and talk to yourself, say "don't, don't do it, calm yourself your better". Don't try any occult training until you rule over it. Just work on your inner peace.

Therapeuticaly I guess you could use some drugs for axiety, but also do some energetic therapy, orientation and coaching. The therapist will have to guide and advice you throught your self healing. It's not good just to take the drugs without therapeutic work because it becomes a crutch, then you leave the drugs and the illness comesback, so therapy must be done while you're being sedated and along with therapy, while you're ganing control you should be getting less and less drugs until you have complete control over your emotional reactions.

ATR is African Traditional Religion. From ATR comes the african diasporic religions such as Candomble, Santeria, Vodou, Batuque, Umbanda, Obeah, etc. Now, from my religious point of view, when people begin having this problems, even when they're diagnosed with Schizofrenia, we believe that the person might be:
1. Awakening mediumship and needs to be trained and inititated into his or her Totem spirit (Orisa, Vodun, Nkisi or Bakuro depending on which tradition he or she follows- Yoruba, Dahomey, Bantu or Chokwe).
2. The person might be having problems with posession, either it's an angry ancestor, an unknown dead spirit, some angry elemental spirit, etc.

For us all deseases comes from spiritual health. If your spirit is not healthy, you won't be healthy. In the case of Candomblé Ketu (yoruban belief system) when a person with mental problem could get better by initiating into his or her Orisa (Divine Ancestor) and becomes Elegun (Medium of Orisa). I have seen cases where Schizofrenic people have come way better, stop thinking weird things, hearing voces and begin ganing control over their actions. We do believe in Fate, Destinity, and that people is born to be inititated and cannot scape it, if he or she does will have a bad and short life. In my opinion, from the religious point of view, you may be needing inititation, or at least appeasement of the deity and your Ori (Head- Spiritual Head, Inner Deity). The bad thing is that to find a real priest is mostly you'd have to travel where these religions were born or at least go with someone who traveled there and got ALL the priestly consecrations. We usually see people that is not ready to "lead" a comunity givin inititations and ruining peoples lives.

My advices go from the occult and thereapeutic points. The religious part, honestly, it's harder to get and leave it as a last resort because once you get initiated to your totem spirit, the "owner of your head", you can't go back. It's not like a system of magick that you may stop practicing, it's not just a compromise to a deity that you just undo, it's more like a pact even if it's not a pact as in strctly occult sense (it's not a pact with a demon or planetary spirits or anything like that, it's not selling your soul or such), but it's a "forever" kind of thing (it's believed that once you're initiated into the cult your soul will be part of the "tribe" and you will always belong to the cult in every life, every incarnation, in one way or another you'll be initiated into the spirit cult or close to it).

Any advice you need from the occult and therapeutic aspects I'm here, I'm an occultist and a therapist though I can't do you therapy because it should be face to face, but I can advice and orient you the best I can. Spiritualy, I may help you energeticaly but not in an initiatory or training sense, that should happen in person too, but I might work with my spirits to help you in your self empowerment and improvement work. [thumbup]

I hope you get better and overcome this.

Saravá,
Idansinají

[RockDemon]

Oh, finally I am glad you guys replied to this thread. I was watching this and, unfortunately, I am not able to help him yet.

[Ušušur]

Have you tried using lithium or similar medication that makes you numb? Have you been properly diagnosed? Have you tried working with more than one psychiatrist? Are there any days that are better than the others?

As others suggested, try to avoid occult solutions such as evocation and similar and calm your mind first. Otherwise, you might do yourself additional damage.

...The religious part, honestly, it's harder to get and leave it as a last resort because once you get initiated to your totem spirit, the "owner of your head", you can't go back. It's not like a system of magick that you may stop practicing, it's not just a compromise to a deity that you just undo, it's more like a pact even if it's not a pact as in strctly occult sense

Sry for OT, but does Orisa shells divination done by Babalawo count as 'initiation'?

[DWHJ]

I am not a schitzo though I have been diagnosed as such as I made a joke and they wont stop denying the fact that I am not in that way crazy. I appreciate the responses I really do. I might try a new psychiatrist as he seems to be holding back on me in the sense of prescribing meds. He can know of issues I have but only bother to prescribe when I acknowledge them and request the related meds. I am not on lithium, just on abilify and some tenex for my adhd, though I am hoping to get an increase on the tenex soon. My psychiatrist doesn't want me on anxiety meds though this is the biggest issue for me.

[WillowDarkWytch]

Motumbá Àse

Sry for OT, but does Orisa shells divination done by Babalawo count as 'initiation'?

No, it doesn't. I'll answer you in PM so we won't disturb the thread [thumbup]

My psychiatrist doesn't want me on anxiety meds though this is the biggest issue for me.

That's the best a psychiatrist can do for his patients. NOT DRUGING them. Talk to him/her and tell that you are aware that meds are just for helping in therapy. That you'll find some therapy or activity that'll help you overcome axiety but that please he must give you something to begin, then s/he can withdraw it little by little. And you MUST find something to do to win over this. Drugs, medical drugs ARE NOT GOOD. Difference is if you were taking "medicine", what we call a special brew or set of natural and ritualized herbs, roots, plants... oogun, "medicine" it's different than drugs

Saravá
Idansinají

[RockDemon]

BTW did you try practices such as LBRP, and I think Vardon's IIH first step will be especially useful to you.

[DWHJ]

I find the LBRP to be too complex for me to memorize. I am readings Bardon's first book so I think that might help.

[Napoli]

I find the LBRP to be too complex for me to memorize. I am readings Bardon's first book so I think that might help.

I never wrote here anything before because I thought I don't have sufficient knowledge to advise you. I can only say I also suffer from mental illness. It is a huge obstacle for me in both my spiritual and occult path. I know that people who has certain diseases like schizophrenia should not practise magic. But you said you suffer from anxiety and restlessness. It is the same here. So Shinichi here advised me to work with 'Initiation Into the Hermetics'. It will not only help in my progress but also improve my mental health. I have taken his advice and let's see how far I go. I think working with the IIH is a good option. Just ensure that you take everything slowly and take care of your health regularly. Go to a doctor who will treat you right instead of prescribing you to swallow medications like popcorns unnecessarily. Don't worry you CAN do it. Best of luck [thumbup] .

Oh boy, I just jumped into the bandwagon of recommending IIH to others. Finally, I have fulfilled the necessary tradition of being a member here [grin2] .

[Daud]

Like LoneWolf said, i would highly recommend a meditation practice whenever you feel such emotions arising. Channel your inner winds, convert the energy of your violent emotions into radiant light and dedicate the light to your goals. I realise it is difficult, but if you are truly driven to get into the occult you need to cure this for yourself, if someone does it for you, it will never truly be behind you.

No disrespect intended, but becoming an occultist practitioner with unsound mental health is highly unwise. People who practice serious Magic are under constant attack and need all of their energy in the right place to be able to survive. You should realise that this isn't a game and potential consequences can and will fuck you up in this life and possibly the next. Whatever weaknesses you may have will be manipulated by spirits who are much smarter and much more malign than you are.

You mentioned the name, "Lelahiah", what exactly do you suspect you are dealing with? Are you being assaulted by a spirit or is this just mental illness, or both. Share some more information with us so we can help you, do you know anything else about "Lelahiah?"

Good luck btw, i'm sure you are capable of overcoming this.

[RockDemon]

Oh boy, I just jumped into the bandwagon of recommending IIH to others. Finally, I have fulfilled the necessary tradition of being a member here .

[grin] Congrats!

[Napoli]

Oh boy, I just jumped into the bandwagon of recommending IIH to others. Finally, I have fulfilled the necessary tradition of being a member here .

[grin] Congrats!

Thank you [happy2] , hehe.

[DWHJ]

Like LoneWolf said, i would highly recommend a meditation practice whenever you feel such emotions arising. Channel your inner winds, convert the energy of your violent emotions into radiant light and dedicate the light to your goals. I realise it is difficult, but if you are truly driven to get into the occult you need to cure this for yourself, if someone does it for you, it will never truly be behind you.

No disrespect intended, but becoming an occultist practitioner with unsound mental health is highly unwise. People who practice serious Magic are under constant attack and need all of their energy in the right place to be able to survive. You should realise that this isn't a game and potential consequences can and will fuck you up in this life and possibly the next. Whatever weaknesses you may have will be manipulated by spirits who are much smarter and much more malign than you are.

You mentioned the name, "Lelahiah", what exactly do you suspect you are dealing with? Are you being assaulted by a spirit or is this just mental illness, or both. Share some more information with us so we can help you, do you know anything else about "Lelahiah?"

Good luck btw, i'm sure you are capable of overcoming this.

I suspect I am dealing with a beneficial spirit who knows a spell that will instantaneously heal my insanity. The reason I believe this is because I believe Bardon was a righteous man and not a worshiper of both sides or just Satan for that matter and therefore he would have only truly beneficial spirits that can do what he says they can do. I don't think a spirit is responsible for my issues as I have yet to practice any magic. The spirit in questions name starts with an "I" not an "L" btw. I also would like to express at this point in time that I appreciate the amount of responses that I have acquired. It is really thoughtful of you guys and I appreciate it. [happy]

[Kami]

Depending from what background you come from,
The answer is simple,
Else... It isn't.

Test these voices,
As the holy beeble says: Test the spirits.

See whether or not these are lying spirits.

Ask them questions like this: What is in that room thread of me?
And if they are truly a "spirit",
They should provide close enough details or exact details on what is in that room ahead of you.

Now,
If they are lying spirits,
Then they are not spirits at all,
Just your subconscious mind acting out.

If it is your subconscious mind,
*which it probably is*
Ask it questions about things you cannot remember,
And before you know it,
You'll have control over this,
And it will be the best thing in the world,
Just don't let it make you laugh in public,
I have had that issue before,
Where my subconscious voice seems as loud as my own,
Cracking jokes at everybody I saw... Lol

Anyways - I wish you the best of luck,

Black God ~

[DWHJ]

Thanks for the attemptive help dude but I don't hear voices.

[Kami]

Sorry bro,
Wrong thread.

Keep your head up,
Stay in the game,
Don't lead yourself to blame,
Just ignite your magickal flame,
And watch yourself live a life of spiritual fame.

tldr=if it don't make ya feel good,
Then it ain't no good for you.

[DWHJ]

Thanks for the encouragement dude.

[777Sloan]

I am currently, still, what with my insanity and all, attempting to get into the occult. It's been near ten years. I, however, sadly, cannot stay calm while going through the training. I suffer from such a madness that I chronically have such racing thoughts with hypothetical, unlikely, situations that I end up yelling at no one while banging on walls and doors. I pace and yell each and every single one of my days away and have for more than half a decade. I go to a psychiatrist and still I cannot receive over the near decade of getting "professional help" whatever is supposed to cure or at least help keep me calm enough so that I can get "cured" of the mental health problems I possess or for that matter to get through the training to be able to summon spirits. I AM DESPERATE! I need someone to use the spell from the spirit found on page 308 of Franz Bardon's book "Practice of Magical Evocation" to cure me of the insanity that I unfortunately possess. Elsewise, I shall never get into the occult. [crymore] [sadface] Please, respond so I can know that someone is going to help me with my mental illness. I don't need to know the spell myself. I just need someone to utter the spell while thinking of me. Anyone who wishes to help me needs to respond. Thanks in advance. Ielahiah is the name of the spirit.

I strongly advise against popping pills. Big Pharma usually does more harm than good.

If you cannot meditate sitting still, try mindfulness, which is simply focusing within the body, while operating throughout the day. This takes energy away from thought and emotion being focused, which should help give you some peace of mind (gradually, but you will need dedication) by preventing downward spirals in your state of being.

[TruthSeeker_]

I strongly advise against popping pills. Big Pharma usually does more harm than good.

In some cases, maybe. However, my brother has schizofrenia and without his medication he would be a mess suffering hallucinations, psychosis and all. Sure, the *pills* aren't without side-effects. But they are offering him his best chance right now at living a 'normal life'.