Your Biggest Mistakes/Failures while doing Magic?

[the_spiral]

Hi, I know there are many experienced practitioners around here and much magical knowledge is gained through trial and error. I was curious to hear what people consider their worst failures or screw-ups along the way. Sort of like a "blooper reel" of ritual practice [crazy]

I've been practicing since I was a kid and I've made quite a few missteps, but only two that ended in complete disaster. One was in my early 20s when I lost my home during Hurricane Katrina and moved into an apartment that was haunted by what seemed to be the spirit of a previous tenant who'd committed suicide in the bedroom. I did an overly complicated (and in retrospect, stupidly risky) ritual with my neighbor's assistance to help the spirit 'move on'...and ended up with a rather nasty lower-level astral parasite following me around for quite awhile afterward. I don't know if it had been impersonating the dead guy for attention all along or was just hanging around the apartment for whatever reason, but it caused me a lot of problems and was a HUGE pain in the butt to get rid of.

The second was a binding ritual I did to punish a work acquaintance I disliked for various reasons. I took a standard love spell and "altered" it with the intention of making him feel bound to me, but in a way that was humilating and unpleasant for him (again, I was young and kinda dumb). The results were awful. He began sexually harassing me at work, tried to assault me at an employee party, and I had recurrent nightmares about him attacking me in a state of rage on the astral plane. I tried to reverse the spell but was unable to. Luckily it stopped when I left the job, but I've never done any workings to bind another human being's free will again.

I'm embarrassed even mentioning such failures in a public forum, but I hoped being brutally honest might encourage people to do the same so younger magicians may learn from our mistakes!

[Ramscha]

My mistake was to enter the path to the arts. The beginning was my mistake but now I am here and there is no turning back as the past is gone. There is a shitload of work ahead but things are done which have to be done.

Ramscha

[Clockwork Ghost]

Gods, I've made so many mistakes over the years it's not funny. Did a ritual to evoke the demiurge while standing on a roof top in an electrical storm. I was holding on to a TV aerial with lightning flashes going off above me, drunk out of my mind on vodka, screaming 'is that all you've got?' No idea how I avoided getting disintegrated.

Another time we summoned a demon into one of my flat mates. It ended up ruining his life - he became so irritating we kicked him out of the flat, his girlfriend admitted she was cheating on him and left, then he lost his job because he took too many days off due to depression caused from his girlfriend leaving.

Once I invoked Lilith by performing a cobbled together Chaos Magic ritual that involved drinking eight large cans of Demon energy drink while hyper-visualising her sigil. I was stupid and took no precautions, ended up having a massive psychotic breakdown and decided it would be a brilliant idea to take a months supply of anti-depressants in one go. Managed to call an ambulance and ended up in the psych wards for a month.

Then there was the time I created a servitor to improve my self esteem. Stupid thing went berserk and I ended up with a sort of insane pixie that wanted to tell me just how amazingly wonderful I was 24/7. It was like a mosquito constantly hovering in front of your face. I gave it too much freedom and a personality, plus no parameters around its life span, so it became rather difficult to get rid of. When I did manage to kill it, it was like drowning an over-affectionate puppy.

Think I might stop there before I get carried away. I reckon everyone who actively lives a magical paradigm has a fair number of horror stories - nobody's perfect.

[RoseRed]

One of my very fist spells was a wart removal - just simple folk magic. Except my focus and intention weren't pure. I was angry at the time and the spell released with the thought 'you warty old bitch'. Instead of getting rid of 3 uncomfortable warts - they spread. It took a few months but I finally figured out that 'wow! magic's real', released the spell and the warts cleared up instead of needing surgery to remove. The doc said he'd never seen anything like it.

Trying to read tarot for myself while in the middle of a situation and totally unable to interpret the cards objectively. I started a tarot journal and when I looked back I learned that the cards were right - I was just interpreting my wishful thinking instead of what was right in front of me. When things are going on and life get's crazy - i have several friends that read for me instead. We read for each other.

A very long time ago - even before the above, as an untrained natural witch, I was flinging magic without knowing what I was doing. I was with a guy for years. It was a horrible breakup. Maybe a year later we hooked up again - bad, bad idea. I was hurt, I was angry and I cried for days and days. Typical end of your teenage years/early 20s type drama. We got together a week later to 'talk'. Apparently, talk actually meant sex - which I didn't want to have. I broke his dick that day. I ran into him last year and he told me that was the first time it had ever happened to him and it's never worked right since. ED really is a terrible thing for a 20 something male. I'm not proud of that one even though I didn't do it on purpose.

We learn from trial and error. I learned that I needed to learn to control what I didn't know or understand real quick.

[the_spiral]

Right there with you RoseRed. I think so many mistakes are made when we're young and suddenly realize "damn, this stuff WORKS!" Combine that with reckless emotions and a lack of life experience and the damage can be epic.

Ramscha, are you saying you regret practicing magic in the first place? If so, may I ask why?

[Ramscha]

Ramscha, are you saying you regret practicing magic in the first place? If so, may I ask why

Regret is the wrong word. I have accepted that I did it so there is no looking back or any sense in whining and complaining.
You may ask but I hope you forgive me and are not offendet if I say I have my reasons and leave it like that.

Ramscha

[Atzmuth]

And this is the reason why I am afraid to practise occult. Btw what you guys say... Its like unrealistic, a tale, a made up story. Believing to such things... I dont know. Its hard for me to believe. I have never experianced such events.

[Ramscha]

And this is the reason why I am afraid to practise occult.

Then simply don't take it. If you already see the warning signs and have no voices telling you to enter, don't be stupid and leave it be!

Btw what you guys say... Its like unrealistic, a tale, a made up story. Believing to such things... I dont know. Its hard for me to believe. I have never experianced such events.

I doubt this thread was made to convince young novices that anything is realistic or not. Like above, believe and learn from it or leave it!

Ramscha

I reckon everyone who actively lives a magical paradigm has a fair number of horror stories - nobody's perfect.

Considering the learning intention I have something to share:

It is the classical failed love spell try. When I was about 16, not long after I started doing my first research and learning with Frater U.D.. I had some basic experience with sigil magic and thought at that time that I was already a pro. Went on a language trip with a friend to england to a summer college for two weeks to enhance my language a bit before the end exams in the next year of High School. Was a pretty good friendship or so I thought. Well, long story short, pretty girl in the same course like me and him. I fell into the FZ right away while he pretended that it was the same with him but made further advances though she clearly refused and so he stopped for the moment. From my position she seemed closer to him then she was to me so I got a bit jealous and crafted a sigil in the style of "leave him and chose me". Well, 2 days later he tried to rape her in the night (at least that was what she said) and she fled into my arms. I had my first time with her on the college cemetary (cemetary on campus, I don't know but that has style somehow), cut my ties with my friend never speaking a word to him again after he was kicked out from the college. One week later ways parted again as she was from the other end of austria and 2 years younger then me, not really a good position for a longterm relationship. Lost a friend, won a night, a bit guilty and an experience richer.

Lesson to learn: Be aware what you are wishing for, it might come true

Ramscha

[Desecrated]

Trying something without fully understanding it.

[Frumens]

I wanted an extension on my homework. The result, I became ill such that I was unable to do my homework. My teachers gave me extensions.

[Clockwork Ghost]

I wanted an extension on my homework. The result, I became ill such that I was unable to do my homework. My teachers gave me extensions.

That reminds me of a friend of mine who did a ritual to make himself more attractive to women and ended up almost getting molested by another friends' 80 year old grandmother.

[RoseRed]

LOLOLOL



I guess it's a good thing that the belief of other's is not required for something to be True. When I talk about these things I tell people that they either believe me or think I belong in a looney bin. Which one is it? The people in my life have seen too much for themselves to not believe it. To talk to some strange person online that has a bunch of unrealistic stories is very different.

[Shinichi]

I honestly can't think of many. I learned early on in life to generally trust my intuition most of the time, so I've been fairly prudent about this sort of thing over the years.

Perhaps my biggest mistake is also my first. When I was young and the spirits came to me, urging me to follow The Path, I ignored them. Having been raised in a strict Christian household, I was taught that all spirits are either Angels or Demons, and suffice to say I was boy scared silly by talking bonfires that didn't burn me and whispering whirlwinds that ran across the front yard alongside me. It was almost a decade before I finally found myself free of my childhood religious dogmas and learning proper magic, though even now I've yet to return to that special place of innocent childhood wonder.

Another big one occurred the day that I figured out how to heal. I spent the whole day waltzing around fixing any itch and scratch I could get my hands on, and for the first and only time in my magical career, I experienced a metaphysical burnout. I couldn't get out of bed for three days, and I learned a hard lesson about personal limits.



~:Shin:~

[Clockwork Ghost]

To talk to some strange person online that has a bunch of unrealistic stories is very different.

I've learnt over the years to take everything with a grain of salt, but at the same time not to discard something as untrue without looking into it myself. I mean, if you're on this board you must at the very least have an interest in magick and the occult. Doing so makes you different from the more mundane world by definition. While I personally dont believe in otherkin myself, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who dont believe in witches either. Each to their own, I guess.

[Haelos]

I'd have to agree with Ramscha.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to my old, ignorant self.
Knowledge comes with a lot of pain and heart ache, and not all of it has been totally worth it.
All I can do is continue to move forward, so I keep learning, desperately reaching for a foothold to settle upon.

"The pursuit of knowledge is eternal and meaningless. Hoorayyy!"
-Professor Farnsworth.

[the_spiral]

Haha no, I most certainly did not start this thread to convert skeptics. I know my own lived experiences and I feel no need to convince random strangers of their plausibility. My only surprise is why people would bother to hang out at occult sites if they find descriptions of run-of-the-mill occult experiences beyond belief.

I started this thread because I noticed there seem to be many experienced practitioners here and I thought it might provide an interesting learning experience to share common novice mistakes. And so far I've learned a lot! [thumbup] In particular I find it interesting that some people regret starting out on the occult path, while others regret not starting sooner. It's a lonely path and fraught with pitfalls, for sure, but there must be some rewards to attract so many people throughout history. Personally I feel like I was born on the path and never really got a choice. I've spent most of my life trying to understand the supernatural experiences I've had since childhood and gain some control over my relationship with the spirit world. But I suspect there are unknown karmic factors playing out in the lives of everyone who is drawn toward occultic or esoteric pursuits.

[palindrom]

i'm not a very experienced practitioner.

but the work i did so far has strengthend me a lot. just centering myself and learning to put up borders between me and the outside world - these simple beginner-exercises enabled me to confront a huge trauma which was hidden in my soul, and which so far has influenced me hugely without me being able to sharply recognize, let alone control it.
i'm very grateful for being able to change this now, step by step, and can confidently say that magic so far has made me much healthier, stronger, and happier.

i did a few stupid things as well, oh yes. there was a time during my traumaconfrontation when i got completely lost, mixing up past and present and being completely out of my depht, and i did about everything i never thought i would - trying to use my little bit of magick as well for it, naturally... as far as i can judge most of it backfired, for which i'm grateful now, but to see what the idea of having power can do with me was frightening, actually...
that was a hard lesson, and a few positive believes i had about myself are now gone

along with a few negative ones...

so, to sum it up for the moment, i feel that magic throws just everything i am into stronger shapes.
and i think the main work will be to know this, while going on...

[RoseRed]

Wow! I'm impressed. I love the way you write.

[Frumens]

A couple of these predicaments sound like they might be magically reversible. RoseRed, does the man with ED believe in magic? Would he be willing to participate in a healing? Clockwork_Ghost, did you ever see that demon guy again?

[RoseRed]

LOLOLOL

I'm sorry, but I think the better question is - would I?

Nope.

He had that chance and blew it again. Lesson learned this time. See ya. Hopefully, never again. I quite frankly no longer give a shit at all. Indifference is not something I experience often. It really is a weird feeling. Especially, after decades.

[MAZOHIR]

Always, mistakes will be made. In practising MAGIA, it can be very very dangerous to make mistakes. BUT, MAGIA is not for the masses, and never was. It is an ART and a SCIENCE that can be very dangerous, even deadly, in the hands of a child or an idiot. Being initiated into an Outer Order with a 3rd inner-level Order of high Adepts is the surest way I know of to safely be guided by those who know and can prepare the aspiring Initiate properly.

BTW, I like very much your Avatar of Kwan Yin, so beautiful and graceful.

[palindrom]

Wow! I'm impressed. I love the way you write.

...in case you mean me: thank you.

...it wasn't so impressive when i was doing it...

[RoseRed]

LOL I get that.

[Haelos]

Haha no, I most certainly did not start this thread to convert skeptics. I know my own lived experiences and I feel no need to convince random strangers of their plausibility. My only surprise is why people would bother to hang out at occult sites if they find descriptions of run-of-the-mill occult experiences beyond belief.

I started this thread because I noticed there seem to be many experienced practitioners here and I thought it might provide an interesting learning experience to share common novice mistakes. And so far I've learned a lot! [thumbup] In particular I find it interesting that some people regret starting out on the occult path, while others regret not starting sooner. It's a lonely path and fraught with pitfalls, for sure, but there must be some rewards to attract so many people throughout history. Personally I feel like I was born on the path and never really got a choice. I've spent most of my life trying to understand the supernatural experiences I've had since childhood and gain some control over my relationship with the spirit world. But I suspect there are unknown karmic factors playing out in the lives of everyone who is drawn toward occultic or esoteric pursuits.

Looking back on my current life and where I've come from, I can see how and why I've followed the path to get where I am. And, looking back, I can't see any other possible outcome but the present.
As hard as it has been, I don't truly "regret" these choices. That's just a convenient word to use. To put it simply, at another point in life, I wish I'd made a different choice, but I inevitably see myself ending up in the same places. So I have no free will in the matter, I guess.

The biggest "regret" (again, just a convenient expression,) that I can think of that follows what I said in my previous post, regards the fact that everything I do on this path leads me to becoming less "Human." I can literally See my emotional ties with people being cut off, and the more Love I learn, the less it's any of it is directed towards people. I've neglected my mate, and I feel I'm pushing her away in my feeble pursuit of knowledge. I see my life ending in drug-induced ritualistic self-sacrifice. In fact, in regards to my spirituality, death is the only next logical step I can think of. The First frontier, if you will. As true and paradoxical as this statement really is, I feel as though I've lived my entire life just to experience death. I've almost willed myself to death before while under the influence of LSD. I fear and respect Death, but I also wish to master it, and grow further than it. Hopefully when I go, I'm ready to go. The only reason I continue to learn is to prepare me for what comes after death.
Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy the finer things in life. I divulge my humanly pleasures, and I make the most out of every day, to the best of my abilities. But I'd also like to make these good times, my last time.

This was a completely unnecessary post that was posted anyway, so learn me and live on.

EDIT: This was not directed to OP, but was in reply to OP. That makes sense.

[palindrom]

To put it simply, at another point in life, I wish I'd made a different choice, but I inevitably see myself ending up in the same places. So I have no free will in the matter, I guess.

hey haelos : )

in my experience it's exactly my free will that leads me inevitably in the same situations until i learn to react differently. the longer i do magic, the more i catch myself at creating these processes : D

The biggest "regret" (again, just a convenient expression,) that I can think of that follows what I said in my previous post, regards the fact that everything I do on this path leads me to becoming less "Human." I can literally See my emotional ties with people being cut off, and the more Love I learn, the less it's any of it is directed towards people.

if i may ask you, towards what is your love directed then?

i've seen this phenomenon in quite a few magicians and also yogateachers. why, do you think, it is happening?
i mean, i doesn't really seem logic to me that while becoming more sensitive one gets less willing to feel human feelings. ok, they're often contradictiary, painful, embarassing. but on the other hand, to feel my own human soul in its entirety, and loving it, and trying to do the same with everybody else, makes life, to me, worth living...

or is it a control-thing, that being able to control the flow of energies makes spontaneous interaction difficult? i really hope not, that would render my esoteric work completely useless!

I see my life ending in drug-induced ritualistic self-sacrifice.

to me self-sacrifice makes only sense when out of the old shell comes a new self, and another new self, and so on...
i love the idea of fractals in mathematics - a pattern is repeated self-similar, again and again, sometimes bigger, sometimes smaller. it makes me feel at home in the universe, and at the same time quite unimportant...

This was a completely unnecessary post that was posted anyway, so learn me and live on.

to me it was quite inspiring - thank you! : )