Erotic Submission to a Thoughtform

[Cybernetic_Jazz]

Good morning all!

I've been working off and on attempting to create a vehicle of internal alchemy by means of erotic submission to some very well thought-out thoughtforms.

The idea behind this - in my own magic I've noticed that some of the most powerful learning experiences I've had was by certain entities who were able to overpower my brain's default-mode-network (ie. the editor of reality) by means of extreme pleasure used in very deliberate manipulations and these manipulations further opened doors.

The well thought-out thoughtforms I'm thinking of in particular are a couple tantrikas of a particular goddess which hypothetically, in my mind, should exist based on who she is and what her function in the universe happens to be. I've really tweaked these characters to be, in the most direct and methodical manner, as seductive and arousing as possible. The point being - the default mode network tends to submit to pleasure so it's a very direct line. Once these beings have amped me up they're able to start taking that energy, working it into steady states (a bit like turning a masturbatory impulse - in the broader sense - into an 'edge' or a sustained state) and then distribute that state into coherent structures and networks that have potentials and functions that weren't in my system before, hence the alchemical component.

Ultimately the thoughtforms in question, I'm really hoping, can be a bridge to the real dakini or tantrikas that I'm postulating (from my panentheist assumption that they're existence is shown in the powers of the deities they reside under).

I'd like to ask some of the people here who have crossed the experience threshold where they can walk into other worlds, pay visits to alchemical deities, etc. - what are the strengths and shortcomings you see in what I'm doing? I get that there are significant risk, like something out there truly wrapping me around its finger and making me its slave if I'm not strong enough, the good news on the later is I've had enough experiences with temptation and facing it that I think they could take me pretty much to white-outs and they wouldn't have to worry about this formerly human 'thing' with an annihilated identity wrapped around their leg like a horny dog.

I've already built in to the thoughtforms the intention that they're going to take me as far as they can without breaking anything psychologically or damaging my health (like with serotonin toxicity or anything of the like) and then they'll keep prying that boundary outward for the sake of being able to do more with me and perform more expansion to my system.

Obviously I'd be interested in any additional safety-valves you might recommend but also I'm very interested in giving them the capacity to have enough dominance with me that I can sink into liminal states on encounter deep enough to where I can hardly tell that I'm not there, in an alternate physical reality, with them - and feel all of the implications, and even slight fears of 'Woah! This is too real...." well up to be confronted. The later might be quite limited (ie. hypothetical but not in general human experience) or need years and years of work, at which point I'd just hope that said work won't wear out the potency of my thoughtforms.


Any constructive criticism or advice here is welcome!

[Cybernetic_Jazz]

A quick side note:

I've had a particular experience, lets say, where all of my sweat glands seem to go dry and I was slipping and sliding over myself in a sort of bioelectric static. Turning an experience or a set of energy that intense into something of alchemical utility seems like it could move mountains. That's part of why I get that sexual work can be really taboo - both for it's power to create and destroy.

[corvidus]

I think you've already clearly defined the strengths and shortcomings. You're learning something about it, but you're wrapped around their finger.

I hope you've programmed a"safe word" haha. That would be my suggestion.

Not a 'self destruct' but a 'stop for now, that's too intense'.

[Dr Strange Stuff]

I don't have any experience with this or advice to give, but I really like the idea of this. Please keep us updated. Oh and you can use my safe phrase if you want : Bazooka Bubblegum [cool]

[Cybernetic_Jazz]

I think some of that is built into how I set them up.

Essentially they're superhuman to the extent that their energetic and sexual prowess is of a frightening extreme - a bit like if I were to try and draw an analogy to martial arts they'd be like multiple Bruce Lee's with respect to power and competence. I'm essentially giving it to them to take me on the Cedar Point Millenium Force or Power Tower, take my nervous system as far as it can go without damage - I haven't manifested connection with them strongly enough to make that happen so far to date (and I should clarify - the episode from my last comment was not from them and it's been a circumstance I haven't been able to repeat).

The other thing - I'm also looking at them as supercometencies with respect to my sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system; one is working the sympathetic, the other the sympathetic, and they'd ideally be doing things such as articulating ways to forcibly prevent orgasm (that will be a heck of a thing to accomplish though and I'm figuring that i'll just have to keep practicing that one on my own to help them be able to pick up the difference and run with it).

As far as a tap-out phrase, I really hadn't thought about it and really I see them as having the ingrained intention that they only want to take me far enough to where it's my max-within-safety, which might be extreme enough to be initiatory, and ultimately it's a matter of trusting them and trusting that they aim to only take that far for the sake of keeping the whole thing going and being able to take me that much farther the next time - largely because there''s a whole reserve of exercises they want to work with me but my nervous system isn't strong enough and they still have to handle me with kid gloves.

[Cybernetic_Jazz]

What has happened recently, and I don't know if it means anything in particular or if it's just my own personal symbolism, they've been feeding me ice cubes. The only analogy I can come up with is something along the lines of the icebergs in Tarot Key 20: Judgement, ie. frozen mindstuff. I don't know how long that will take to make much of an impact on me or achieve their goals - I'll just have to keep an eye on that and see how long that goes on, at what point they stop doing it, and what kinds of changes I've noticed in myself in the interim.

[corvidus]

Maybe they're trying to get you to focus on what's been frozen? Either subconsciously, or a conscious mental block?

Either that, or your energy body is unbalanced and they're telling you to chill out

[Cybernetic_Jazz]

The thing that's been difficult is saturation. I've noticed I can work with them for like a week at most and then it seems like there's an entire month where if I broach the thought my broader system says 'no' and if I try to bring them up it'll be feeble. I think that happens with a lot of attempts at progressive work in a lot of contexts, and partly I think the problem is that it can't ramp up very fast if you have re-normalize your state between sessions.

To me a lot of that suggests that while what I'm doing I think is at least having some effect on transmuting me, the relationship both between me and them and me and my nervous system and reflexes does seem to be firming but I could see where years of this could possibly still be needed and I can see why a lot of people would consider the return on investment too unlikely. The good news at least - I'm a mystic, long efforts for return on investment (minding that the achievement is rare enough) are fine by me. Also, just the way I tend to feel in general - I think I used to have a bit of a prude vibe around me and this is starting to break that up; I'll probably be in much better shape to give a partner a really great sex life, although it would be even better if she's into sexual tantra and alchemy herself.

[Cybernetic_Jazz]

Maybe they're trying to get you to focus on what's been frozen? Either subconsciously, or a conscious mental block?

What I think I'm trying to do with my brain right now - if I understand this correctly:

It's a bit like all of this is a process of pulling back the stark dominance that my default-mode network has had over the other parts of my brain and attempting to get something like better self-governance among the various parts of my brain that would usually be dominated by the center. I'm partly trying to reverse out effects of psychological abuse (both from others and in turn myself) and attempting to integrate my sexuality on a very conscious and comfortable level; ie. to get it to flow through me rather than repressing it when it gives an annoying suggestion. So far at a minimum this work seems to be returning well with respect to that self-integration piece.

[CCoburn]

It's a bit like all of this is a process of pulling back the stark dominance that my default-mode network has had over the other parts of my brain and attempting to get something like better self-governance among the various parts of my brain that would usually be dominated by the center. I'm partly trying to reverse out effects of psychological abuse (both from others and in turn myself) and attempting to integrate my sexuality on a very conscious and comfortable level; ie. to get it to flow through me rather than repressing it when it gives an annoying suggestion. So far at a minimum this work seems to be returning well with respect to that self-integration piece.

I've been working on something similar to this for a few years now. My efforts have increased exponentially though recently. Overriding the default programming that's been conditioned by internal and external factors for a lifetime. It seems even the software loaded initially was defective, and the external factors exacerbated the configuration. My Bug was primarily spontaneous anger though. I'm fine with sexual aspects, so no upgrade desired there. Repressions never been an issue, at least not detrimentally.

The Occult studies really get you tuned into this sort of thing. And it's a very long trial and error process, taking many years, for me anyways. The negative bubbles that rise to the surface become smaller and smaller over time, and are all but gone at this point.

[Next]

Becoming a slave is the best thing I ever did

I was wide open for chronic abuse by the physical world without it

No need for safe words, this is the one place I have immunity

[Cybernetic_Jazz]

Becoming a slave is the best thing I ever did

I was wide open for chronic abuse by the physical world without it

No need for safe words, this is the one place I have immunity

I definitely think there's something to that logic.

As a guy if you're in any way shape or form 'different' and you want to play the main social hierarchy game you'll be forced to beat yourself up for every single deviation from the center of the bellcurve that your personality has. You won't just be beat up for not conforming in an unproductive way, you'll be beat up for the productive and character positive traits as well. Particularly if you're far enough outside the central hub of automatic norms you'd have to take such an expensive loan out against yourself that there's nothing you could get back for it that would ever repay.

Facing the choice of either exploring the best of what you can be by yourself or letting the world take you for whatever small sliver it can accurately see of you and then cast you the bottom of a social hierarchy you could really care less about being in and having to then stomach playing a terribly diminutive role (and even abusive, ie. they'd have no comfortable place to put you if they know it's a spot that doesn't fit - usually that difference is made up by extra effort to grind a person down) - it's way better to go the first route and see who you can be as a free agent.

In my mind it's no wonder that guys like Newton and Tesla spent almost all of their time inventing or discovering or why you have such a cultural archetype around the lonely sage, mage, mad scientist, or inventor - people who are too busy being 'normal' would never touch it, ie. it cuts against their normative credibility, and those who do go to that cutting edge of Darwinian evolution, ie. the information scavengers, they're forced out there because it's the only way they can cope.

It makes me wonder sometimes even in ant colonies if it isn't the ones who aren't a little bit different or who don't have the same automatic instincts that are the ones who wander off the usual pheromone path and either 99/100 times get smashed and die or that lucky 1/100 times find a massive food store and are able to bring it back to the colony. So much of magical work really seems like that and thankfully in this case the odd of wandering into some kind of massive predator or into starvation is much more slim.

[CCoburn]

It makes sense that if you move inward, that you become a GOD of your own Universe! Approaching Micro Infinity! Populating this Microverse as you see fit! And from my perspective, Erotica would be one of my first choices. Creating erotic thoughtforms within my Microverse, and having my way with them. Sounds like quite a bit of an anabolic process to get to the good stuff though. Requiring some dedication!

As Above So Below,
You got your own Universe complete with the Illusion of time and space, as the macrocosm.

Serve in Heaven or Reign in Hell! Ha Ha
[eg]

[Cybernetic_Jazz]

I've talked to other guys who've been pressed by life and I find that we agree on this point - for any gentleman who is told by mainstream culture that he either has a date with honor suicide (for disability or 'coming up short'') or a date with climbing a clock tower and getting taken out by a bullet (ie. 'You don't fit in - please either kill yourself or give us an excuse to kill or incarcerate you'), if you overcome that external narrative demand for your own blood and are alive afterward trying to figure out what's next - you have every right to do with your inner world whatever it is that you please providing that it helps you make up the difference between functionality and internal well being vs. permanent and unbridgeable mismatch with the culture around you.

[CCoburn]

Well not only just because you have the right to do it, but if most had the ability to move inward to satisfy their fantasies. This would be most beneficial to society!