Kath wrote: ↑Mon Jan 25, 2021 9:16 pm
hehe, well i didn't mean to say "scary things" as a slur.
Scary things can be beautiful to me. Not as a facade (which some sorts of scary things utilize), but elegant in their true nature.
perhaps I should rephrase, and just say that not every entity is likely to engender a 'fun time' for a novice.
Although that depends on the novice too. Literally anything can be a learning experience, and personally I value learning things over comfort.
Yes, I know you didn't mean it as a slur
I just had few experiences after which become hypersensitive to what kind of words I use to express my self, and sometimes even start nitpicking choice of words of others
I used to subscribe to that general wide spread notion, that it's all about intentions and not so much about the words it self. As if, as long I don't mean something negative using some negative word, it should be perfectly fine, surely all those spirits and entities understand ways of human expression. But it turned out, repeatedly, that things don't seem to work quite that way.
One time I made a very close friend with one entity, or so I thought, she was awesome in so many ways, and was always near by. But one time during one conversation with some friend (on this side of the things), I told that friend of mine about that my new found spiritual friend, and during that conversation I used some not very kind word, as a joke (be it in a poor taste), and didn't think much about it. But soon after I noticed my spiritual friend is not as close any more, nowhere near as close as she used to be and even apologizing didn't really fix it. Even though she was like "It's fine, nvm.."
, but that relationship never recovered from that damage, and shortly after she just left (officially, supposedly for some other personal reasons)..
The other time, I simply had strange dream, that I was in some strange place with some interesting people, and didn't think much about it, I should have about it first, but instead and first thing in the morning I told my friend about that dream, and again I used one not very nice word to describe that place I dreamed of. It didn't even crossed my mind, that perhaps I should choose my words more carefully, because I thought it was just a dream. The next even evening, during my meditation, one of spiritual friends shows up fuming, like "WTF?! I showed you my home and you said this and that?!"
, and I'm like "But I thought it was just a random dream, I didn't know it meant that much.."
but she just "whatever, not taking you anywhere ever again.."
And similar things. And what bothers me the most, I often see other people use words as bad, or even worse, and I don't see them being beaten for it, why do I get so much whipping and have to suffer long lasting consequences every time some "not exactly appropriate" word slips out? All those ideas "oh, it's just all about intentions" - that was all a lie!
Sorry I grabbed this opportunity for some purely personal rant about unfairness of my existence
Not a single sentence here was really aimed at anything or anyone or anything specific.