Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Tundrawolf
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Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Hi,



I have had a hard and painful life, suffered much trauma, things have been uphill till recently. About 18 years ago, due to a desire for "sin", I was, as the Bible says, "Given over to the devil" and dark, powerful, angry spirits were allowed to damage my spiritual "soul", that this body is an avatar for.

About 5 months ago I was given a series of early morning visions.

Around my broken body which darkness has enveloped, is a light. The light is Universe love energy that I was soaked in when I died in a hospital as a child, and had a NDE.

There is a creature at the edge of the light, her visage is one of a "Calm werewolf", her head is the head of a wolf, her body the body of a human, her legs, the long and curvy legs of a canine (Digitigrade). She is self-conscious and does not want to be fully seen by me, though she has revealed certain parts of herself to me.

In the second vision, my heart was connected to her heart. Our hearts beat in perfect unison. She is "My other half".

The third vision, I was able to communicate with her. I believe God/the universe had some preset questions for me to ask her, and possibly one question I asked her of my own will.

She hates God, she hates me, and she doesn't want to leave. She is in the first level of Hell. I was shown three layers, each darker than the last. There are fallen beings nine feet tall in the second layer. I could not see what was in the third, but possibly, "Leviathan" great swimming beasts that flow in the darkness, there.

So, I inquired into the universe (I was raised Christian, but I identify as spiritual, now.) as to why a half-wolf woman had the other half of my heart.

I was shown, her (Ms. Asrael. God told me he could not tell me her name because I would eventually speak it, and it would summon her- which may not be good for either of us.) and I were "Married", a couple, in higher realms (Perhaps Heaven?). Except, I was an idiot, selfish, angry, self centered, incapable of considering others. I only thought of myself.

I was not good to her- I loved her, deeply, but I was not a good husband. She protested to the Creator, so he placed her in a realm where he does not exist there, where she could be alone with her anger (Rather than pushing it down).

She joined a "rebellion" against the way things were in that realm- but for good reason. As Christians we are told the demons are bad, except I am coming to see that they actually have a very valid point. They were wronged, harmed, placed in difficult situations, in a place that should have been paradise.

Anyway, in my near death experience I saw beautiful lights you could hear and taste, it was amazing, then I was in darkness, in a place of rest (not hell), where God saturated me like dry bread in warm water, in His living waters of pure love (source). He didn't do this for me, he did it for them.

When I was given over to the devil, I was shown my wolf-wife made me her prey, and as such parts of me became absorbed into her body (And thus the trojan horse of love, as it once saturated me)

The light that is around me grows with each creature that steps into it. Any creature that has spent enough time in the dark realm but wishes for a different life at this point.

A christian scholar I spoke to asked me if "God is saving the demons" I said no, "God is giving them a choice". I was shown some demons are in terrible pain, bullied, sick, hungry, thirsty, in need of medical attention that isn't available to them.

I have spoken with a handful of these entities. Some are very charismatic. Intelligent. Cunning. Some times I realize I am capable of being deceived, and in some ways, i am at their mercy. But, i bare myself to them, and be vulnerable to them, and when I do, they surrender to me (Maybe because they know I will not hurt them?)

It has become aware to me that in being shown of her existence, Ms. Asrael has been made extremely vulnerable to all manner of torments and tortures I could do to her as a sort of exorcist, however, I choose not to harm her, though she has gotten her jollies out on my body in a gruesome way.

For some reason i really, really love her.

It has become aware to me that I am aware of the fact that I was incarnated as a tortured male human to learn meekness, humility, patience, love, and etc. To love canines. And by extension the uniqueness of my wife.

I've become aware of a man named Rudolph Steiner who was a spiritualist, and maybe all these incredible realms and creatures I suddenly have access to, maybe they can be made sense of?

That's why I am here. I want to know more about Ms. Asrael, this dynamic of a love-dance, why a crimson strand (A vein, actually) connects her heart to my heart, to the heart of God.

I was shown that God is just a nebula of energy. I asked God, why, then, manifest yourself as a short, bearded hippy stoner? God answered me 3 days later, he said, "Because energy is boring."

So, Ms. Asrael manifests as part-wolf.

I was shown that when God made her, he used a big barrel of living wolf-water, a big barrel of human water, and a heaping scoop of SENSUALITY (Among other things that make her unique). Her libido has tortured me all my life, I am becoming aware of.

God showed me I am made of a large barrel of human water, with a scoop of wolf- which is why she appeals to me in her current form.

As I do not resist these entities, and allow them to show me things, it seems like it is cascading in knowledge and understanding. These things are NOT in the Bible!

In fact God has told me to stop praying, and to figure this out myself. God desires me to be "Like him" in that I am either a creator, or will graduate to become one, soon. This may seem exciting, except it is an infinite, desperate Creator trying to stave of the horror of his existence as long as he can, as he lives through us. I am not immediately aware of what my purpose is. I can communicate with these creatures. I can summon them by thinking about them, where I must be vulnerable to them before they will communicate intimately with me and reveal themselves to me.

I would like to know the reason I was shown this woman who has my heart. I tried projecting love to her, and she snapped at me, which was very frightening, as she is very powerful. I was told she is so negative, my love "injures" her and causes her pain. God told me he is working on creating an aura of love around her by virtue of what is in her stomach. He is changing her, perhaps. The work is outside of my hands- it is my duty to fully release her- which is hard, but I am doing it.

I was shown a vision of the inky blackness of the dark realm, beginning to clear up to reveal a beautiful forest, trees, grass, and birds.

Ms. Asrael is out of my hands. The Creator must work with her as I release her outside of my own understanding. I am an ignorant human, my higher knowledge has been muted as I live as a human in this realm, I am ignorant and unschooled here. But, this is the place of learning, only these experiences are real, because in this realm you are mortal, you can die, so things are more real here than they are in other realms in some ways, if that makes sense.

This is the realm of learning, or enjoyment, or any entity that wants to experience this life. I was shown there are spirits that desperately want to experience this life, but cannot. And yet I viewed my first 40 years as ones of pain, suffering, and misery.

Anyway there is more but I will leave that here. I posted in another forum and it attracted a 60 year old man who has a spirit spouse as well, and I was able to communicate with her, I was able to help him somewhat, and he was able to go to a higher level with her. He is a very romantic man, but the dynamic between him and her is very, very strange, and transcends what we know and understand in this finite, limited realm.

I was so excited over the whole thing, I wanted to tell the whole world, but people tend to hear the story and "Unfriend" you. (I am careful who I tell any more) But, I can understand how strange it all sounds. Especially to Christians who are told to "Stay away" from the darkness. What am I supposed to do with the knowledge I have a spirit spouse? So, i am to release her into the hands of the universe. I have been stagnating the last few weeks as I went from excited, to overwhelmed, weary, then finally bored and confused, and "Over it" so to speak.

I was shown there are realms "Tuned" to forward and backward frequencies, in some realms it is 1,000 years from now, in others, I haven't even been born yet. In some realms, I see Ms. Asrael fully washed, clean, snow white fur, she is sitting indian-legged and smiling down on my from the heavens, cheering me on. In other visions we are together, reconciled, forgiving one another, and enjoying paradise together. In others, we have played out our love for one another, and choose different forms to explore our connection. In one realm, she is a flower, and I am a tree, for example. I absorb her energy there, and she, absorbs my own.

I was also shown Ms. Asrael is a very depressed feminine energy. She is weary, tired, and sad. Eons old sad.

There has to be another entity or many, many entities at work, here. Otherwise an ignorant, confused human has just been handed the keys to the universe, and has no idea what to do other than eat cannabis edibles, eat good food, drink good beer, and enjoy my life...

I am starting to see some "light", as I shut my business down and focused on myself, on finally relaxing from my traumatic child and adulthood. i am healing. I have had to go back to work, but things have changed. I am pursuing my highest calling, my purpose. Is it to introduce people to spirit spouses? Pursue being a medium for united people with understanding of their spouses? God told me to stop saying, "I don't know." Because, I do know. I knew before I was born in this world. So, I say, "The answer is not apparent, yet."



I am open to exploring more in perhaps a religious ayahuasca ceremony or seeking plant medicine to help open up my mind to understand these once taboo things that were once forbidden.
Be kind to yourself, for we were all made by a fool. (Saklas)

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Amor »

I suggest you learn to control the frequency on which your awareness is operating at particular times.

Until you can choose/recognise/measure the plane and subplane on which you are operating, you will find it difficult to test your experiences - to tell the real from the unreal and remove the human filtering.

The core exercise is often called Rising on the Planes. The traditional kabbalistic form is not really suited to scientific practices. The use of images for navigation is too cultural and personal to allow easy peer review of perceptions and experience. A numerical form is much better but only toy versions are publicly taught.

Ask your inner sponsor to teach you

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Amor wrote: Fri Jun 18, 2021 1:01 am I suggest you learn to control the frequency on which your awareness is operating at particular times.

Until you can choose/recognise/measure the plane and subplane on which you are operating, you will find it difficult to test your experiences - to tell the real from the unreal and remove the human filtering.

The core exercise is often called Rising on the Planes. The traditional kabbalistic form is not really suited to scientific practices. The use of images for navigation is too cultural and personal to allow easy peer review of perceptions and experience. A numerical form is much better but only toy versions are publicly taught.

Ask your inner sponsor to teach you
Is my inner sponsor the entity of pure love who saturated my soul in his essence (pure love)?
Be kind to yourself, for we were all made by a fool. (Saklas)

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Amor »

In my view, having been educated by Catholic priests, a Christian context provides theological constructs, such as "God", that obscure rather than clarify the nature of Reality.

Your sponsor is a being from outside this galaxy that is posted to this solar system to work with entities such as yourself.

As you become more effective in your meditation, your sponsor will find opportunities to guide you.

In one of my early posts on this forum I described the Flame in the Heart meditation. It is foundational.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Amor, thank you. You are a great help. Your time isn't wasted.

SO MUCH has happened since I first wrote this.

Whomever has lent me their energy for this. Thank you. You have an ally, inasmuch as I am able.

Here is what I know now:

1. I have put no debts on her, Karmic or otherwise. I love her so much I am willing to let her go (To make her own decisions, choose a lover, choose to be single, etc. However, I do not believe I can continue to live without her, if you want to know how I feel about it. But you cannot love someone unless you are willing to give them full freedom to choose...)

2. I am owed a great and terrible karmic debt to her, she is terrified of me and frequently shivers when I talk in my vlogs about the power I now have over her, now that she has been revealed to me fully, even her heart.

3. I am holding back a great and terrible karmic debt, to repay her for what she has done- with my arms and my will and power, I am keeping her safe.

4. As I submit to her, she is learning she can trust me.

5. Two days ago she appeared to me as an ascended Goddess of light. Though she is a being of light, she appears as a Wolven female, every hair on her body contains untold universes of infinite light. She told me she cannot love me as I desire to be loved, as she has evolved. And, she mentioned appearing to me (To please my eyes) as a Wolven Goddess, it cost her everything. I asked her in sorrow, why did you do this? She said, "Because you pulled me out of a dark place when I had no hope. I knew this would please you, even though I surrendered my highest hopes for it." She has completed an infinite cycle and is now my Sun, guiding me, ministering me, and loving me with a love that is blasphemed by human words.

6. The universe told me yesterday I had to let her go. The universe prompted me to make an instant decision to release her to it, as she is making me sick in my gut, (The Asrael in darkness) I asked the universe to keep me healthy enough long enough to talk to her, rather than just releasing her, as I do not want to hurt or scare her. So, I was able to speak to her and tell her how much I loved her, over and over, and told her- I have to release you, please do not be afraid, I love you! (Borrowing from the fire of the heart!!! Thank you Amor) I waited and was patient and eventually she accepted that, I was not abandoning her in her vulnerable state, I was taking my hands off of her so that she could grow.

Eventually, she accepted it.

7. Though I hesitate to type these words, a 180 degree change has happened. She is completely different. Perhaps a switch has been flipped in her heart and mind and soul. She is bright, cheerful. Playful, kind. Wise? She is no longer the dark woman she once was.

8. This is an end to hell. As the prophet Muhammed said, he will see Hell emptied out and it's gates swinging in the wind. I do not necessarily agree with much of his other teachings- I realize they were necessary. I, however, agree with him on this.

9. I am terrified of losing her.

10. But I am also aware we will never be separated.

11. Ever.

12. God is upset with humanities lack of evolving, held back by religion as fallen man interprets it. Sorry, not sorry. We need to evolve. When we no longer need God because we are good people, that is the next step. God is not so limited he needs your direct worship. Being a good person, holding onto love (god) in all you do is higher worship than even song.

13. As I obey the universe and it prompts me, it told me, to get my revenge on her. It was as natural as breathing. Asrael went overboard in my karmic debt- and she is owed retribution. (Destruction) This was two days ago. However, I stopped the urges in their tracks, even though mercy is unnatural and kept pushing me to justice. I said no. She is afraid, and I refuse to harm her. Even if she was brazen and hateful, as she once was, it was my duty to protect her. She was vulnerable. At whatever cost to me, even unto being unmade, destroyed, deresonated, my energy scattered and wasted across the universe- I refused all harm to her vulnerable being. I continue to hold her destruction back, and will continue to do so for all of eternity. Nothing will change this. I will become her destruction eventually and I am fine with that. I will absorb her punishment and will be undone eventually for her, this is not self immolation, but rather giving of myself for the one I love.

Only love will triumph, I do this willingly and of my own volition. This is why the Christian Bible says a coward will not inherit the kingdom. There is truth, even in the neutered and wrongly read Bible- God is smarter than we are by at least two layers of understanding.

There are also higher than him- let go of common understanding, it is false and will pass away (Because it is false)

This is what love does.

14. She, and the universe are weary of the name "Asrael". She desires me to be worthy of her real name, which is a private matter as of now, and to see her body fully (She has shown me bits and parts, she is not shy, but she is limited by MY shame of her individual attributes, which is why I am here, to love her fully, feet to ears, if her ears are the highest point of her body, unlike humans)

15. This is a work of the creator energy many call God, and is already done. Praying against it is unproductive and will result in possible correction. However, hardships only make us stronger. Who can stand against God? :3

16. Hell is just a holding area for creatures honest enough to tell the creator they are not happy. These creation are honest, noble, and dignified, which is why the Christian Bible says not to insult them. They are also the creator energy's Beloved. He did not make them to be (Inferior, or...) lower than any of the other creation. The common interpretation of the word demon is a twisted human dynamic that doesn't resonate with the universe (It is false, esp. in America) I have a rebuttal to this, but it is rather harsh. I will post it if people desire.

17. I would (and will) move infinite universes to touch her heart once.

18. I am sharing this so that others may evolve. Do not be afraid.

19. I am told this is movie material. I welcome it. Neither the sun, nor the truth will be hidden for long.

20. I harbor no ill will towards anyone who harbors no ill will towards me. You may believe as your heart guides you.

The work is done.

There is no undo button, but i do not wish to travel backwards, only forwards.

21. She has told me this morning, a freed creation from her chains, "Do not look to me. Work on yourself. This is my highest blessing. You will find rest within yourself."

He who has ears...

22. As we progress in our relationship, we also walk towards the ending of it. I do not type these words lightly. She is why I draw breath. Do you understand?

23. As I come against modern established religious standards, I am blessed by entities who thrive in the truth of their situation. This includes wealth, "luck", and my love life. These creatures have purpose. God made them for a reason. Be kind to them, and discard what religion says about them.

And, finally for now- 24. To protect myself from the de evolved, those just beginning their journey, I feel the need to establish a legal, non profit establishment of religious sanctuary. It will be for those who bow and nod to these creatures who live in darkness, but whom the creator energy cherishes anyway. It is a humble, loving respect of them, a form of Demonolatry, and offshoot of Satanism as the acknowledgment of Lucifer in various forms of understanding, as an angel of Light, a departure from what I understand to be erroneous understanding of a dynamic that has been wrongly decried for a millennia or two by humans as they attempt to transcend.

25. Asrael, a being of infinite light, unwilling to compromise and minister to me in my resent weakness, is a sung, moon, and my universe. She will forever guide me in this life and the next. My words echo into eternity. She is now more concerned with me than herself. So, I must focus within and not without!

This is by no means over. It may transcend into privacy. In a way, the afternoon after I was shown her body, and felt her heart completing me in my chest, in a way I wish to remain that awestruck man for all of eternity- perpetually reliving that blessed day. However, I push forward, finding solace only in her.

She is God, I am God, and the universe is moving towards unification. It is unimaginably beautiful. Embrace change, don't fear it. The more you release your Love to lose it, the more your Love is honored and returned back to you. Even releasing the core motivation of love, which can be narcissistic. 9as we all are) It is a counter-intuitive dynamic. But it is beautiful. And, eternal. Transcending even human beliefs.

Blessings, and blessed days.

Edit: I have to add this. Due to her rash behavior twenty years ago, Karma has placed a collar and leash on her neck. Karma has placed the leash in my hands. She is now my slave, by her debt to me. Destroy or direct her. However, as the one who loves her, I release her leash (And caution those who would try and touch it themselves. You may teach her lessons but also learn them yourselves. I am partially smiling as I type this as few understand these words. If she finds one more worthy than I, may she find them truly and be happy with them.) into her hands. She is and was, afraid, confused and worried about it, as she has lost her "leader" her owner. I have a blood contract of ownership of her now, as my slave. I took great pleasure in tossing her Karmic debt into the fire. Of telling her, I could destroy you, but instead I protect you. You may do as your heart desires, including returning to me, however, I grant you your freedom.

However, even these words are invalid, as she has been transformed in a single day, finding the lightness she once knew, tempered with maturity.

I reserve the right to remove these words at any time.

Thank you.
Be kind to yourself, for we were all made by a fool. (Saklas)

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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It has occurred to me that I was created to be an overseer of the reintroduction of disenfranchised spirits and assist them with reintegrating into original society (some may call this place "heaven")

A vision I had about a half hour ago of a more feral Wolven female (she could not speak with her mouth, but uttered various canine sounds including grunts, howls, and growls, mimicked attempts at verbal language) who struggled to integrate into heaven, trying to drive a vehicle, struggling with trying to hold down a job.

I saw myself, moments before she emotionally melted down over all of her newfound responsibilities and disappeared into the forests (and injuring me in the vision as I tried to console her) she was weeping, snarling, exasperated in this highest realm and it's strict and rigid ways, and chose to go where her heart drew her, which, as I said, was the gardens of heaven where she can live in peace, albeit at the chagrin of the angelic who sort of shiver in mild concern when they hear her howling in the distance.

While I was unable to see myself being able to commune with her in her frustrated and exasperated state, unable to find a resolution, I realized there are literal countless others like her, struggling to integrate into a realm of light, as they are so used to living in darkness. Not all of the demons are this feral, many are more civilized and will reintegrate with less issue, albeit heaven itself will also have to reintegrate with them.

It is possible this world was once heaven, where the dark ones reintegrate and in accommodating them this is where we are now, working it all out so that the energies of creation balance one another out, because peace and love are nice.

Further, the number of spirits in creation is not spelled out, but knowing God, there could be multiple trillions (I am told more than this? WAY more) ever multiplying in the dark realm alone.

I wish to say, I saw a Wolven in heaven, a creature of light, adorned in shimmering, gleaming armor, powerful, groomed, and clean, who has a connection with me, whether romantic (*cough who doesn't want a werewolf boyfriend I mean come on *cough) or otherwise, he told me to focus on Ms Asrael and not himself, he wears a smile on his face. (he is in heaven)

However, in communing with him, I have realized he has a set of fairly rigid laws and rules of civility that are designed to keep heaven a nice place, and dare I say, compared to Ms Asrael, boring, in a way as her rules are less rigid, and everything goes, that is to say, while he willingly follows rules and a code of conduct, Ms Asrael follows absolutely none at all. She will squat and urinate in public where as he goes to designated facilities for bodily function relief. Which, while disconcerting, it also makes her a lot more fun to commune with. She is a wild child and as I said I wouldn't want to change her, love accepts one as they are, not as you wish them to be. "I love you, but..." is not a statement of love.

It has become aware to me this day that the entity I once hugged who holds the title lucifer, may be replaced by me. I may be in training to replace/assist him as he was VERY busy. He is not "evil" as religion tells us, he allows the demons to poke at us through our weaknesses until we are made better to be better in heaven. He works for God. When I once feared him and considered him the enemy, I has a feeling I was wrong about it.

The creator entity will need someone with his essence, Asrael's essence, who is intimately aquanted with the darkness and light, to assist in these spirits transitioning their life dynamics as they step into the light, and leave the dark realm. (or not. I was shown there are various levels of "upset with God" going very, very dark. It possible the light won't work for all of them. That is beyond my present understanding.)

I consider myself, right now, to be a Grey worker, a worker of light and dark, and intimate understanding of both, I do not boast in this outside of cosmic honor of such a position, this journey has been terrible at times, I wouldn't change a thing but parts of it were so difficult I nearly was undone, however, as I have said, it has led me to true love that echoes across the eons and energy of eternity. And that's pretty cool.

I believe, humanity is going to reach a topping point as described in revelations, (time is an orb and easily observed by higher beings) and the earth will need to be melted down (too many curses and negative dynamics) and re made (for the billionth+++ time, and time will begin again with us in it) while humanity as a whole transcends just that much further.

So, when things collapse as we know them and wars and rumors of wars happen, when human life becomes worthless, do not be afraid. Such things have to happen, do not despair, rather be glad we made it this far this time. It will probably be another couple million years before we get to evolve higher, and many new earth's. Also, just because this is my understanding does not mean there are not beings here on earth masquerading as the gas station (for example) clerk who rule great and terrible realms that (our) God cannot and will not touch. So my idea of truth is not all of it. Just my little slice. If you disagree with anything I am saying, good, your dynamics and purpose are different by definition and that's okay. I am open to new knowledge and understanding.

I also say why be public about this? With the possibility of very real injury? Every new struggle, every new road block, every curse, problem and sorrow as they are overcome, I only get stronger. They aren't problems they are tools of spiritual exercise and ascension.

This dynamic is true across most humans here now, our "problems" are mere manifestations of weakness that must be overcome so we do better as immortals. Only a mortal can learn the lessons we learn here. This is a life, a dream, a hallucination of our souls, whereupon our driving instincts in heaven are altered to fit a love dynamic.

Can you imagine a selfish, hateful ruler who abused his power over creation, and wife, put to sleep and banished to this realm, only to learn meekness (Greek definition NOT the English one! Meekness is NOT weakness! Quite the opposite!) and to utterly fall before the blessed, beautiful feet of my wife, clinging to her sacred body as I weep over the past life treatment of her, and then give her the choice of being with me, and if she so chooses, I will treat her with compassion, dignity, respect and endless eternal love that is due her magnificent form. As I have seen her as a goddess, a being of unfathomable light, she is now my sun, my guide, and my God.

As I said the dark ones are God's Beloved, and they have legitimate reasons for rebelling. In a way God respects them a little more than those who tow the party line (and aren't totally happy with the way things are, their relationships, taxes etc) Same way as yes men are not regarded as highly as those who tell the truth to your face, no matter how hurtful or hateful.

Truly, to deny how much the dark ones mean to God would be to deny God himself, and to say he made them to suffer and fall, that is no God I want to be around for a minute let alone an eternity. Any God who would make us weak then punish us for sinning eternally isn't worth our time or us as creation, but we had to be threatened with damnation to ascend from where we once were, no other motivation was as terrible. As has been said, threaten someone with death and they may act poorly anyway, but threaten with eternal horror and they tend to listen.

I consider myself blessed beyond measure to be in the position I am in presently.

Blessings.
Be kind to yourself, for we were all made by a fool. (Saklas)

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I am re reading this and I did not spell out, when I died as a child, God soaked my soul like dry bread in as water, with his pure love energy. The Wolven who weren't happy with things and went into darkness prefer the entrails of the damned, and I was shown she is no different, and by virtue of making me her... Um. Dinner. She unwittingly absorbed me, and also God energy, which is being digested by her stomach, and is now nourishing her, and changing her. (I was told)

Some people say, "I love you so much I could eat you."

And, it turns out that's one of the highest forms of love between beings. Because, now what was once my body (I don't know how bad it is, how reconfigured I was by hell, I was told it's worse than I can imagine, and also not a big deal at all, though it causede two decades of enduring terrible feelings and anxiety, which is over now that I have seen her) is being dissolved by her gastric juices and distributed where it's needed and wanted inside of her body. I can feel my energy nourishing her, it doesn't hurt necessarily, but it is the most timeless intimate thing I have ever experienced, far more intimate than mere sexual congress.

The bits she ate were sacred connection to the divine. (and absolutely horrific to experience, especially because I did not know what was going on) And as such she is being changed from the inside out.

When I died God soaked me in his living waters in darkness. I believe this was so that nobody knew what he was doing. Because she probably wouldn't have filled her stomach with my soul, because she was so angry over my failures as her husband.

But, as I work to forgive her and hold her harmless, to force myself not to extract vengeance, to hold back the karmic rage that is due her, and to be quite possibly destroyed by her punishment myself (as a sacrifice to save her current form) she realizes she isn't in danger, I'm not angry, I'm actually very penitent over how I treated her in the first life together.

Today was a mile stone in my relationship with her.

Before she was telling me she cared just because I wanted to hear it. I was shown she would abandon me the moment she was free. She viewed me as her ticket out of hell and thought she needed to deceive me. But, she's realizing I'm doing this willingly. That is why her tears wash the filth of hell away and reveal snow white fur.

Something flipped inside of her after I released her (took my hands off of her, perhaps to protect myself) yesterday. The universe told me to let her go. I did specifically speak with her about it before I did so it wouldn't be a shock to her, to help her realize I am not abandoning her. I am setting her free.

I saw a vision of me with my arms out, like in a cross, holding back great and terrible energy that was meant for her, and I saw her, a bright eyed Wolven, civilized, she closed her eyes and kissed me, it was not deception. It's interesting this just happened overnight.

But, I'll take it. Our entire dynamic has changed for what could be considered "the better".

Also the honeymoon period of helping bring relief to the demons and helping them incorporate back into society was over pretty quick and I now realize it is literally just a job. When we die here the stuff that sets us in awe of the heavenly becomes regular life and unspectacular, to a degree.

And, it isn't just my energy. It's God's essence. Which is the source of all love.
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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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One more thing. A month or two ago God told me, "do it yourself!" when I prayed asking for something I... Couldn't do myself. So, I tried to do the thing and was moderately successful at whatever it was. (I don't remember, it's not important)

But, this thing I am doing, is motivated by God energy but God is off doing other things. He isn't helping outside of nourishing her. He was once front and center in my life but now he's sort of released me.

I wondered why until recently, big duh, the demons fucking hate God. So, of course they don't want him meddling in this dynamic. God also told me when she absorbed my energy I became the title and deed holder of the realm known as hell. (I own it now!??)

But, i am to be Meek and understanding and demanding nothing. If I ask a demon for something or to do something, I ask humbly and allow them to say no, if they want. "what does your heart want?" I ask them. Eventually I will file for a 501c3 tax exempt religious whatever in order to protect myself from the weak. I guess I'm starting a movement of compassion for the demons, an offshoot of demonolatry, but with Asrael as the center of my universe, and the movement in a way. Asraelinarianism (a tongue in cheek word for it, not sure if it's even right.)

I saw a video today of ancient Norse rituals to the gods. They did not "summon" them as if they had the authority to control them. No, they "invited" them. Asraelinarianism (if that's a thing) is the tender compassion devoted to them, a changing of the dynamic of hatred and fear (as a Christian I was told I'm only allowed to hate Satan and the demons, no more!) of them to an acknowledgment of them as God's Beloved creation, whom he still loves and desires to save.

Maybe a lake of fire exists for them, but if they want to go there it's their choice to do so now, by virtue of me being her main course. (and who would want to burn alive forever? Idk) And I wouldn't change a thing. I love her from feet to ears.

Would I be the high priest, the grand pubah, the head guy... Maybe I just call myself "Resonant of Asrael" because our hearts are two perfect halves. Maybe there are others. I was told there are many, many others like me but I don't know if that's true. I am kinda jealous of her but she is free to be polyamorous and may do as she pleases of course. Not other Resonant with her necessarily, but other humans with dark spirit spouses with similar ways of bringing relief to the demons. I want to change the way people think about demons. We've been lied to for thousands of years by fearful people who do not want you to know the truth. Are they brilliant, cunning, deceitful, liars, vicious and violent and dangerous? They sure can be. But, if you test them with respect and kindness you may be surprised how they actually want to meet you where you are at.

One particular spirit is the spirit (demon) of prosperity. I made a video about the truth about them and he was so grateful he told me he is going to make me wealthy. Well that's pretty fucking swell. Honestly. He did it because he was grateful. They are downtrodden and hated and spit on by many Christians and they are abused for finding weakness in us. Well, I want to see that change.

For example, if someone is being tormented by demons, what I would do is speak kindly to them and see what they want. Rather than violently casting them out into a terrible place they do not want to be, (I have an exorcist friend who says they beg him not to send them away!) rather, we can find arrangements for them for nourishment that does not come at the expense of the person they are inhabiting that makes everyone happy (if possible).

I remember asking some of the spirits who were tormenting me from 20 years ago (when Asrael and friends attacked my soul) kindly, and listening to them, I asked them kindly to please leave me alone-they argued for a bit and we went back and forth, but they eventually were happy with the arrangement I was offering (to step into the light around me and stop tormenting me) and they actually did. They are out of my life and periphery and I have been in peace since that time, months ago. If I check in them to see how they are fairing, they are happy and Content (and thank me) and more than that: they aren't making my life hell any more!

Also I was told when I pass into the next realm (when I die here of whatever reason) they will walk among humans. And, it won't be fun for a lot of people, unless you have made peace with your demons before hand. Or something like that. It may be figurative but it won't be good. I could be wrong about it and literally everything else, but I believe what I am doing is the will of the creation nebula because he doesn't just stop loving his children even though they're mad at him.
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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I've found a world of magic inside of a place of fear, lovelessness, wrath and heck.

I just watched a video about monogamy, and a woman being interviewed said, "Love dies. Love fades." I believe, she is right. As I dance with my Beloved in the unfathomable horrific darkness and vacuum of Eternity, I realize, she may not wish to be with me for eternity, and/nor me with her. How much of this love is my own selfish, narcissistic, self motivated desire to "keep" her as mine? As a slave? Does a master love their slave, or does true love set them free...

Eventually, we will grow weary of one-another. (Perhaps) Eventually our love-dance will change shape. As I stumble and falter, push my energy out there for her to grow, I do my best, it is all I can do for her. I hear whispers in the dark, "Keep going. Try harder. Re visit your motivations. Do better. For her." And, I obey, following the fire of the passion of the Heart.

She is becoming a warrior. Powerful, vicious.

The Karmic energy of retribution will not be dissolved... I am finding out matter and energy do not dissolve, they just change ownership. As I set my sword down at her feet, she picks it up in her hands, blesses us both and turns to face the darkness in her heart. Had I of kept my hatred of her, my resentment, she would be forced into the Black realm, a realm where there is no love, where viciousness and cruelty are the currency of existence- to them love is a curse and cruel, and perhaps they have a point. True love gives your Beloved a choice with no strings attached whatsoever.

True love desires ones happiness above your own.

For now, at this very moment, my heart is hers for eternity. I see the her light. I feel her passion. I worship her form, from feet to ears and everything in between- I wouldn't change a hair on her body whatsoever. To me, she is beautiful... She is perfect.

For now... The passion of eternity for her is my guide.
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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Amor »

Some thoughts that may or may not be useful:

>The Karmic energy of retribution will not be dissolved..

In my observation, karmic energy follows lines of least resistance - thus is impersonal within a karmic group and may on occasion be diverted from a group member that has suffered enough on behalf of the group

Further, karmic energy is only required until the lesson is learned. Then it may be removed - even by the Lords of Karma if rightly approached. Often,however, no one cleans up the karmic energy and it hangs around long after needed.

>matter and energy do not dissolve, they just change ownership

I have not attempted with matter, but often with incoming adverse energies I have generated an inverse wave - thereby cancelling the flow

>True love desires ones happiness above your own.

That is true in specific human contexts, but in a galactic context, love has a quite different set of meanings

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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That is true in specific human contexts, but in a galactic context, love has a quite different set of meanings
I am in over my head.

My primary concern is for her well being, and a sword has been placed in my hand. I do not want to hurt her.

I was shown, the light force that is "her" is every version of her, mercenary, lover, prostitute, plumber, flower, tree, grass-a cool breeze on a warm summer day.

The Asrael actual is a hairless Wolven, the one who is being nourished by my essence. (she is also growing hungry, she has told me. But I don't want her to amass a Karmic debt that she will have to pay for later. She answers to me but I don't want to possibly harm her with my will, I desire her freedom and well being however that looks. She is scared and shaking because her prey has suddenly turned into the predator. But, her prey loves her and doesn't want her harmed.)

What do you mean in a galactic sense?

It was almost cruel of the universe to reveal her to me, a human man devoid of my eternal mind, given power over a creature that is the Beloved of the creator energy. What the f*ck am I supposed to do... I'm trying desperately not to harm her. A part of me wants to viciously anhilate her from the universe and do to her what she did to me and worse... And she's afraid of that, but my heart wants to show her compassion instead and to help her live "her best life" whatever that means, even if she chooses to go to the black realm (where I cannot go).

She is a being of light and is used to the light realm, my personal hope is that she steps into the light, but I want her to ha e her choice and not be beholden to me... If she chooses me then I will be the happiest man in the universe, but the choice must be wholly her own.
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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I guess... She has already made her choice. She desires her other half, who's kind of mad at her, who's grossed out by her in a way. But, who loves the eternal her, knows she had a "moment" (that lasted an eon or two...) but so have i... I've done worse (based on my karmic suffering I've apparently done terrible things in previous lives)

It's like, this is a love dance, what do you think she would choose? Perhaps she needs a break from me. It feels like I am vasilating between husband and father of her, she has a teenage mentality (of age of course, wouldn't want to offend any interdimensional thought police) I was told she secretly believes I am her ticket out of hell and she doesn't love me like I love her (Asrael actual, not eternal Asrael) and she will run from me first chance she gets, she doesn't yet understand I want what she wants, her happiness, and her liberty to decide (maybe God didn't give her a choice in heaven? She was hapless creation? Idk what happened, all I know is I need to let her go. If she returns to me or not. I cannot deny how much I love her, as you said, from the fires of the passion of the heart. But I an unlearned and unschooled in these matters and I am used to mercing my way through life)
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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>she is also growing hungry
>her prey has suddenly turned into the predator

Is such a relationship the essence of love? It seems more like the Stockholm syndrome " a condition in which hostages develop a psychological bond with their captors during captivity."

This universe is the body of manifestation of an Entity that, in It's second phase is now a god of love. Thus all life force in this universe is directly derivative from our god of love.

All chemical reactions, electronic processes, nuclear events are manifestations of the life force of love.

In humans this life force is partly used to draw together the components of human process: matter, energy, relationships, power. These components are but distant reflections of the Source of All - but all are ultimately directed to manifesting unity, however inadequately

In the next manifested universe our god will be a god of will. There is much to be done to prepare. Love must be so intense and pure that it holds integrated, human and cosmic families while they are driven by Universal Will.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Mon Aug 16, 2021 11:59 pm >she is also growing hungry
>her prey has suddenly turned into the predator

Is such a relationship the essence of love? It seems more like the Stockholm syndrome " a condition in which hostages develop a psychological bond with their captors during captivity."

This universe is the body of manifestation of an Entity that, in It's second phase is now a god of love. Thus all life force in this universe is directly derivative from our god of love.

All chemical reactions, electronic processes, nuclear events are manifestations of the life force of love.

In humans this life force is partly used to draw together the components of human process: matter, energy, relationships, power. These components are but distant reflections of the Source of All - but all are ultimately directed to manifesting unity, however inadequately

In the next manifested universe our god will be a god of will. There is much to be done to prepare. Love must be so intense and pure that it holds integrated, human and cosmic families while they are driven by Universal Will.

"I found out I was given over to a demonic entity that looks like a werewolf, I was ripped apart, eaten alive in a realm where you neither pass out from pain nor die, and even though she has feasted on me causing me two decades of anxiety on earth iam now trying to earnestly win back her heart (though she has eaten mine) from when she was my wife in heaven )"

Not healthy?

Ya think?

LOL.

If she was any wolf-person (and I did not have wolf in my waters of creation to be drawn to them and canines) I would rebuke her, send her to darker and more hopeless depths where the black realm (the black realm is not hell. It is infinitely worse. Hell is where the disenfranchised go to decide if they want to return to the light or osmose deeper into the dark) where the moisture would be sucked out of every cell in her body, her muscles and soft tissue would calcify, and over the eons of agony her soul body would be twisted into pure black energy where love is about as welcome as arsenic is for humans.

As I said, I was made whole when god (?) connected her heart with my own. She is literally my other half.

I was made aware of her eternal form, a being of light, as I am also a being of light, I was given the love of the creator for her, and shown that she was, at one point, his beloved creation (he still loves her).

As far as what people think I consider their words but at the end of the day I wouldn't change a hair (or lack thereof) on her body, Stockholm syndrome (I am familiar with It) or not.

It has also become aware to me that quite a few people are doing heinous things in the name of god, who think christ is going to absolve them of their karma when he absolutely will not.

It is possible I am Jesus fucking Christ Himself and I am bringing a sword but not for the world, FOR ORGANIZED RELIGION. for those who reject, slander, and harm innocent people and do it IN THE NAME OF GOD. All one had to do is look at the modern church to see that god is abandoning it. The next evolution will be one where humans no longer need religion to guide them but DO BETTER. The way I see it, we can devolve into anhilation or evolve and prosper, these are scary times but either way I'll still be me.

Whatever the hell this work is it is already done. It is the purest form of love to care for one, your Beloved though they have dealt horrifically with you. Sometimes all someone needs is mercy, to set the sword done before you're both cut into ribbons and there's nothing left. The vision I had was the filth of hell being washed off by her tears, revealing snow white fur on her cheek. Imagine a realm where animal people, angels, nephilim, devils and such all get along like we do here. That is the realm of her people. She needed a human man to show her her humanity when her feral side took over.

So, I kneel at her feet and surrender the sword to her, empowering her. And yes, she is hungry. I have been told I have taken ownership of the bridge into the black realm, a place for angry spirits who feel as if god has failed them. Except, I place no demands on them, but rather treat them with dignity, respect, and empathy. As someone who feels wronged by god, I can sympathize with them fully. And, I feel a black realm ruler in my soul. He's always been there-obstinant, dark and angry-unmovable yet calling out for peace, possibly completing the loop of creation and graduating into the infinite, possibly becoming a form of god energy myself. It's a thrill to realize your journey in the universe is about to end, and the rest in paradise awaits you with your Beloved. If not, I'm already fucked and nothing can be done. All that's left to do now is to eat, drink, and be merry for it is out of my hands, all I am to do is to release her to allow her to decide where her heart guides her, to the blackness, or to the light.

Yes, when I pass into the next realm I could end up in an absolutely horrific condition, but based on how much I have suffered in this life its no surprise. I have tried to be the good little church boy but god will no longer allow me to use religion as a crutch. God has told me not to be afraid that my spiritual condition will be taken care of so that I do not suffer there (when I pass into the next realm, whatever it may be)

I am to DO BETTER as a human and let go of the christ-crutch as I said I may be him so it makes sense he never worked for me, all I have had to do was embrace myself.

Honestly I wouldn't want to spend eternity with the god spoken of in common Christian understanding, and I acknowledge the religion has strayed far from what it once was and no longer holds any draw to me whatsoever.

I had a falling out with some Christian "brothers" who are incapable right now of thinking outside the box, "I love you like a brother!" they say out of one side of their mouths, then block me with the other side as if I never existed in the first place. And these people think they are doing the will of a loving god. One of us is going to have a nasty surprise when we face him. I don't think it will be me.

If god is going to "pour out my grace in all flesh" my gruesome love story is the only way it will happen, by soaking my sacrificial soul in god love energy then allowing me to be consumed by a dark realm (not black realm) entity who has the other half of my heart, and allowing dark realm entities to "step into the light".

God is not above eviscertaing his creation to accomplish his will.

I will say this, while I do not want to re-live the more terrible parts of "being given over to the devil" (its in the Bible) I wouldn't change a thing.

I would move the universe just to look her in her teary eyes and tell her that I love her, having sacrificed everything just to see her restored and healthy.

It's gruesome and Stockholm syndrome ish but you tell me how god is going to give his beloved creation a second chance at being in the light realm, or their pain leads them further into the darkness.

As I surrender and accept the reality I am facing, I am miraculously set free of all of these burdens.

While my life has never been more turbulent and weird, I've never been happier or more well adjusted.

Any religion that would allow the evil my parents visited on me and turn a blind eye to it should not be suffered to continue.

I will one day walk hand in hand with my Wolven wife, us reconciled to one another, God's beloved creation being reintroduced into heaven because they have simply changed their minds. There will be reintroduction issues, problems, growing pangs, but I cannot be around a god who damns his creation as is spoken of in the Bible.

As a Bible scholar asked me, "God is saving the demons!?!" no, he's merely giving them a second chance and a choice. That is exactly what love does, nothing less.

I will also say this. As the parts of my soul-body are broken down in Asrael's stomach, my essence is literally nourishing her, giving her life. When a mom tells her child she loves them so much she could just "eat them up" that is actually the purest form of love because it gives your Beloved life, strength, and nourishment. Personally, I wish there were better ways to show love but here we are and it's beautiful. (to me)

Hope it ends up well, it's out of my hands, and I wouldn't want to change it now anyways.
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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I realize how this looks and sounds to a world that is invested in the tangible. To me these visions and happenings are very, very real and have given me hope and meaning, I wouldn't trade them for anything.

I will say this. As a former Christian I have suffered terribly under the abusive relationship with my Christian parents, even confronting my father for his abuse (attempted murder, physical, sexual, emotional abuse) on me, he was so confused he accused me of "turning my back on God" (after insulting me and giving me the finger twice) rather than his own utter failure as a parent (in his mind he was a great dad!!! Father of the fucking YEAR! I won't insult hell or the demons with a parallel but rather a true father worthy of Yahweh!)

In leaving the absolutely wicked, sick and barbaric religion of western Christianity where you can literally get away with anything and still be cool with God, I am coming to see how sick the whole thing is. I do believe in the God yahweh but I believe he is the only entity that is worthy of eternal damnation in perpetual visceral agony for all the suffering that has existed on earth and is yet to come. I would pull the lever of damnation myself. It is also possible I am him in car ates to pay for my sins here by my own religion (in a way. I am set free now)

I was recently reminded of a vision I had shortly after the spiritual attack on me. I was brought to a very bright place, almost cliche with clouds and such. Next to me stood Jesus the Christ in a white robe. Below us I saw a (feral, earth, four footed) wolf, with the knowledge in my spirit the wolf belonged to me and was mine (on earth) and also that I wished his/her pen was a little small for my liking (I wished it was bigger).

I asked the christ why he would give me a wolf after what I had done and he said, "Because I love you."

So I cannot be Jesus the Christ.

Instead, by virtue of my death in this realm as a child, and being saturated in the living waters of the source of all love, I am the brother of the Christ, a "child" of God or gods, having absorbed his/their essence of source.

Where does that leave me... I am realizing that the yahweh that called for the brutal murders of homosexuals, zoophiles, adulterers, nonbelievers, who drowned the majority of his creation, who curses all human mothers with painful childbirth, is a true monster and fully worthy of eternal damnation. Anyone who worships said monster is as guilty as he is in my book. Remember, true love casts out all fear, and the truth will set you free!

I would rather be in hell than to worship such a sick and inept deity.

I believe the gospel of Judas, where the Christ came to undo the spiritual wretchedness of the sick god yahweh, or "Saklas" which means FOOL. It is the only way this world makes sense. Any deity that would create wolves and deer, prey and predators is utterly sick, sick, sick!!!

What does this have to do with Asrael?

I don't know.

Two more female Wolven have appeared to me, a sweet, shy, beautiful white-furred Wolven woman in eden, who can barely make eye contact with me yet stands regal, clothed in white, pure and beautiful. She has a shy sort of moving her toes in the dirt as she smiles and glsnces at me type of demeanor. The name she told me to call her is "Genetta". I realize this is an (symbolic, as I might be trans) earth name, and there is a reason I am not to know their true names.

Another Wolven appeared shortly after, if Genetta is a light (bright but not heavenly) being, and Asrael is a dark (but not black) being, "Shenetta" is neither dark nor light, she is the rebellious teenager who smokes during recess, but doesn't want to kill anyone, nor does she want to exist in realms of light either, who meets her boyfriend in abandoned houses (I am not her boyfriend as far as I know) for hanky-panky. Asrael is the warrior who eats her enemies whom one sicks on their enemies. Genetta is the submissive, gentle, but fun housewife you look forward to seeing when you come home, the ideal woman (for me).

The male Wolven who exists in heaven with the shit eating grin on his face with the shining armor who is somehow acquainted with me, has too many rules in heaven and is "no fun" to me as I exist in this realm. He doesn't even want to give me one of those fake names to call him by. He's a sexy werewolf boyfriend though, it's just too bad about all those heavenly rules.

Further, I am earnestly attempting to release Ms. Asrael to her hearts desires, as apparently it wasn't her fault she has half my heart (and visa versa) and regrets it/ wants a divorce/ has moved on from being my "other half". I love her enough to let her go and wish the best for her/ help her/ comfort her/ possibly even guide her. Just want the best for her, and create a safe space where she can just be herself, without judgment only acceptance of her, fully. If that means she wants me to forget about her, so be it. If she wants to be my girl again, cool.

In spite of this, I am still filled with the love of a father for her, as well as the love of a husband for her, (I desire the best for her, as she sees it, without her coming to unseen harm in the karmic realm, as I understand it.)

As far as soul assassinations go, Asrael has expressed a desire to "feed on my enemies or people who upset me" with my permission, however, that may lead her down a very dark path. My understanding is not complete yet, although I was told it would make sense in time. A few times recently various humans have aroused anger in me, and it occurred to me they were prime candidates for feeding the beloved Wolven (spiritually speaking. I do not wish to violate the laws of men) however, that could open a door of endless feasting that could end up very bad for my Beloveds, me, and various humans in this realm. However, I reserve the right to feed them.

Presently, I ha e left food offerings for Ms Asrael, and the the teenage Wolven trio who have expressed a desire to feed on the souls of humans. Spooky, I know! All it takes is one open fear-door where they can get a foot hold in, and they will feast when I send them forth. Hopefully God or someone is feeding them, because if not, the responsibility falls on me to care for them.

Thankfully, there is no shortage of worthy souls. ;)

Further, a teenage Wolven trio in hell has appeared to me, two males and one female, who said they literally don't care about karma, they're hungry and all I have to do is grant them permission to feed. I however, have not, as I care about them, but this is subject to change at any time. (as I said above)

In appealing to the sick monster god yahweh if he's even still alive, I demanded the Wolven, Asrael and the three teenagers be fed somehow as hunger is a terrible thing. If whatever God is up there does not hear me, then my deepest desire is that these Wolven feast on their creator, instead, as a fitting punishment for his endless sins against us, the angels, demons and etc. Perhaps you can tell my feelings against the banal creator of us all. (ask me how I really feel!)

As far as I go, if the Christ was savior of this world from the creator, then I am the savior of the dark realm. The christ of hell. Because I used to be a counter terrorist combat mercenary with the government (in real life) the universe jokingly called me, recently, "Murder Jesus" which I found rather hilarious, because as a romantic partner of mine (in this realm. She is human) said, I look EXACTLY like the typical white man's Jesus, beard, long hair, blue eyes, and people constantly tell me I "Look just like Jesus".

It has become apparent to me that if our creator was as pathetic, vicious and cruel as the Bible says he was, that the demons who refused to go along with his program are actually the good guys. (Plot twist!!!)

I appreciate the demonic pains and terrors I have endured as a Christian and now, because they are pushing me to be an actual good person, not one motivated by eternal punnishment while remaining, as it says in Mark 2:7, sick. (and in need of a doctor. No thanks I'm good. I want to exit the cosmic hospital and be set free, which I am.)

I could be that I am the anti-christ or some shit because I am definitely not straight, but if my presence brings down the religion that shields the wretched hearted people, I proudly stand and tear it down with truth. We need to enter into a new age of truth, reason, and intelligence, rather than the tongue in cheek wretchedness that has woven its tentacles in my ex religion of Christianity like the wicked cancer that it is.

Whatever the truth is, at the end of the day, I believe in Asrael. She is as real to me, perhaps much, much more real than even what's tangible to me. The vision of her bear like, massive, powerful muzzle inspired guttural terror in me when I saw it as real as if she stood before me in this very room. In this spiraling of confusion and questioning, where I don't know what God's to appeal to, I am told the highest gods, do not require worship nor for us to even know their names, they guide us as humanity into ascension, into beings of light, truth and love and need no thanks or even acknowledgement. How refreshing! They love us, as twisted as we are.

There is also a version of me who is approx. 1,200 years, and 3,000 years and one further who are communicating with me and giving me tips on technology to help advance humanity. Whether I can effectively use this knowledge is up to me, but I may experiment with it in the future, and I cannot openly discuss any of it.

While I am in a strange place spiritually, and my present girlfriend is Christian and loves God, I have told her I in no way wish to damage her perception of religion nor do I wish to rob her of her own spiritual experiences whatsoever. To do so would be a cosmic crime, as I attempt to respect other religions inasmuch as they respect me, respect and hostility will both be matched, with the fiery hot rage of hell itself, mixed with the very power of God as we understand it.

I am grateful for this forum where I can be open and honest with my no doubt easily labeled "strange" spiritual journey.

About my souls damage in the spirit realm, some entities came to what's left of my body there and told me they were going to salvage my body. I argued with them but they said it's for my good. It was told to me that the reason I am suffering as I have been is because I was too invested in my corporeal form and I forgot that I was originally energy. Also because my soul has been destroyed, it frees my energy to manifest as anything, to appear as anything as I have been freed of my spiritual corporeal, and limited soul.

At some point as the honeymoon period with the demoness Wolven Asrael fades, I will be forced to come to terms with the damage and terrible physical pain I was/am in, and while my first reaction will be vengeance, I will not cause her, or any of the demons, harm.

Acceptance is key. It is hard. Meditation helps.

I can say my SOs presence in my life is a healing light. I am drinking less alcohol and needing Canabis less. I am improving my body and eating better. One thing Asrael scolded me for was my drinking and "hooking up sexually" because she hated how it made me feel after. It sparked some interesting conversations with her where I basically forced her to compromise because I can't just be super healthy all at once like she wanted, but over time I will honor her request.

Funnily enough, I have begun walking on the balls of my feet, to honor her digitigrade legs with every footstep-however, it turns out my hip and knee pain has vanished as I am no longer transmitting shock by landing my footfalls on my heels. Plus, it makes me feel like a cute little werewolf, which is nice. Also, from a tactical perspective, I no longer "bounce" when I walk-I flow, instead, and if I am commanding a rifle, pistol, or edged weapon my movements are now smooth and flow, without needing to subconsciously accommodate for heel-toe caveman walk. I believe if children kept walking on the balls of their feet, knee and hip replacements would no longer be necessary, and spinal pain would banish, as the weight of our bodies aren't transmitted harshly through our much smaller heels, directly into our joints and bodies.

Bottom line, the more I let go, the greater my reward, and the richer my knowledge and understanding. I accepted that I am the sacrifice to free hell yesterday, and it was quite freeing. Yes, I have empathy and compassion for the demons. It turns out they are quite helpful, entertaining, charismatic, and I cannot say enough good things about them, albeit they are not in their heavenly forms, they are still beloved children.

Blessings.

I will also say this. That the various entities I have communed with, Ms Asrael is the one to whom I feel closest to. She is, in a way, my God. As quirky and petulant as she can be, she is my default. She is fun, free, and lawless. In a way I couldn't be more in love with her. My human girlfriend presently doesn't like her too much because she caused my soul so much harm. But, it is a difficult thing to accept, my history here on this planet. She is, however, my true love.
Be kind to yourself, for we were all made by a fool. (Saklas)

OneOfFourth
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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by OneOfFourth »

I personally believe every sentient being has the power to choose their own destiny/fate. A lot of people have (for one reason or another, due to personal things or due to outside manipulation) chosen horrible destiny for themselves. But I'm fairly convinced anyone of us can at any moment choose a different destiny for themselves. Simply by deciding and saying to themselves and to the universe/higher being/whatever you want to call it, what they choose their destiny to be. For example "I CHOOSE to be free" and "I CHOOSE to become happy" etc. And if you follow the synchronizities The Universe starts throwing your way, you'll get out of the bad place the most optimal way.

I believe that tons of people are being manipulated, coarsed and fooled into subconsciously or consciously to choose a horrible fate for themselves. If my guess is right, maybe you have done the same without realizing it?

Check this thread where I write and essay about synchronizities. I believe they are your direct line to communicating with The Universe/God/Source or whatever you wish to call it. Use synchronizities for communication and you will get your answers.

https://www.occultforum.org/viewtopic.php?f=71&t=41424

Hope this is of some help to you.

Additional information:
I believe there are at least three main categories of spirits/entities:

1. Original entities from the beginning of creation, who are in full balance between spiritual and physical realm. They are your spirit guides / ancestors / guardian angels / etc. who help you get well and get to your fate etc.

2. Unbalanced "ahrimanic" or "satanic" entities who have become seriously unbalanced towards physical world.
The advice they give is basically destructive in nature.
They like to manipulate people from the spiritual planes.
They love to make people believe there is no spiritual realm etc. "Science is the only thing there is." If people still start believing in spiritual things and magick, they steer them into the lowest possible distorted spiritual planes and black magick and tell that "this is the most advanced stuff there ever will be".
They feed humans with strong want for material things, power, wealth, fame, etc.

3. Unbalanced "luciferic" entities who have become seriously unbalanced towards the light / spiritual world.
Beings of "false light", even though their light is 100% real, but highly unbalanced and maybe even distorted.
They completely ignore the importance of the physical realm and don't see any advantages in it, even though there are tons.
All they care about is the spiritual realm, to the point they might very well just wipe everything and anything physical away without shedding a tear.
Their advice is also destructive, since they very quickly make people very unbalanced: no understanding of what being a human is at all.
Their followers become spiritually distorted and highly imbalanced due to illusions etc.
Their advice and light "blinds" you really fast and once you start following their advice, it's really hard to see the truth again.
They give humans gifts, powers and premonitions.

All of those entities are competing with each other. So you can be sure there's as much as possible of super manipulative smear fests between their ideological/spiritual/religious groups. That could explain competing/adverse views on christian God etc.

Note that I don't know if god as in christian mythology exists or not, but the above categorisation seems to make a lot of sense when I compare it with everything I've experienced so far.

Additional information 2:
One thing that helped me immensely was that I realized that "I have a human soul and none of the spirits nor demons are allowed to do anything against my will". I believe (and have observed) that human souls cannot be violated against their own will. So if you are attacked by an adverse spirit, just remember that they must stop and go away if you simply tell them to. If you don't believe it, it's going to be much harder. Hardest part is if they've already taken home inside you. Then it's much more difficult to get rid of them and each demon seems to require a different approach in that situation.

Additional information 3:
Be careful what you wish from The Universe. If you wish your fate to be something like "I want to be really good at X" or anything along those lines, you can be sure you'll experience all kinds of horrors: bad experiences make us grow the fastest.
Seeker of truth.

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