Offended Selene

[insomni4c]

Alright, so, having had a desire to do more experiments with using entheogens as a magical tool, last night I took some magic mushrooms and invoked Selene. For awhile it worked out really well, that was the first time she has mainfested so strongly. Then I made a dumb mistake and I'm pretty sure that I really offended her.

After receiving a very intense vision, the mirror darkened and the atmosphere in the room changed. I assumed she had left and got ready to close the session. When I looked around the room, I was surrounded by tall, dark figures. It was a little freaky to be honest lol. Since I was convinced that Selene had already left, I thought these figures were either just hallucinations from the mushrooms, or spirits drawn to the ritual. I decided to banish them.

I got partway through the Star Ruby, and was about to make the first pentagram, when I got a really bad feeling. It hit me that maybe she hadn't left yet, and this was part of what she wanted to show me. I felt disappointment in the air, and started getting nervous that I had just messed up. I stopped what I was doing and grabbed my tarot cards. The deck slipped from my hands while I was shuffling, so I picked up the cards that landed face up, laid them on the altar and read them. It didn't look good. It was very clear that I had fucked up and cut things short, and Selene was not happy.

I then bowed my head to the ground and apologized for my mistake, explaining myself, and asking her to forgive me. Today I did some more prayer, and am planning to make a libation tonight and read some hymns. I'll probably focus on mending the damage I did over the next couple of days at least.

The reason I post this here is because I really don't know how I'm supposed to handle this kind of thing, so I'm not sure if what I'm doing now is the right thing to do. Besides the prayer and offerings, is there anything else I should be doing in this situation?

[RoseRed]

Well, manners are unbelievably important and from what you wrote, you've handled yourself quite well so far. It's never good to offend or piss off a god/dess.

And this is actually something that comes up quite a bit. You went into the Ritual with certain expectations. When those were met - you thought you were done. When working with gods - be open for surprises. They're really the ones running the show. And being circled by beings is a hell of a show! You don't usually find out or get to do what you want without something that you don't.

Do you honestly believe that you can banish a goddess if she doesn't want to leave right then and there? Especially, if she shows up in the first place?!?!?!?!?

I am unfamiliar with Selene and googled. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selene She's a moon goddess. So, your experience sounds about right.

What I would suggest is to complete the Ritual, ask to be shown what you were supposed to see. Bearing the full weight of the visions isn't always easy. (it's usually not easy at all).

In your specific case - I would not call upon the gods in a cavelier or work my will type of thing. Lots of people do but they don't end up with this.

[Cybernetic_Jazz]

I'd second a lot of what RoseRed said on this.

I'd also invite you to consider this as well - as a goddess she can read the astral and etheric, much like the archangels she immediately knew way more about you than what you'd usually voluntarily share with a person, and consequently she'd have the capacity to see all of the currents within you - ie. what happened in that ritual would look more to her like a chemical reaction (having known exactly what was there before she communicated with you) than to, say, a human being who'd see none of these things about you and then feel snubbed and even scornful.

In that sense she may have been sending you that sensation during your closing, like you suggested, as a 'Wait, no, we're not done yet'. If you made an honest mistake she may have been procedurally disappointed. If someone who invoked her or even tried to mistakenly evoke her was immature and would have been disrespectful as a factor of that immaturity she would have seen that immediately and either not shown up at all or would have done some things to make a corrective impact on their perceptions.

From that standpoint I get the feeling they see us, in process, more like a mechanic might see a car in the repair shop rather than fully volitional beings acting out of conscious intent.

I'd say follow up on this and do try to contact her again - just that I would also, in the interim, meditate and ask her for guidance and intuition so that you know you can be more properly synced up for communication purposes.

[Haelos]

Fantastic prior suggestions, I have nothing better to add.

I just wanted to throw in that even with your mistakes, you handled the entire situation beautifully. I have no doubt that your invoked Goddess will have no trouble dealing with you in the future, and your extra steps in recompense are only added to your character.
This story is a blessing to the tales of in/evocation gone wrong.

[insomni4c]

Thanks for the replies you guys. Definitely some good bits of advice in there, and I'm glad it sounds like I'm handling this right haha.

And this is actually something that comes up quite a bit. You went into the Ritual with certain expectations. When those were met - you thought you were done. When working with gods - be open for surprises. They're really the ones running the show. And being circled by beings is a hell of a show! You don't usually find out or get to do what you want without something that you don't.

Being open to surprises seems like pretty good advice. With this goddess in particular I probably should have expected the unexpected haha. It's a little hard to get a good grasp on her personality from reading, especially with how often she has been conflated with other deities; both in modern times and in ancient Greece, she's been very multifaceted.

My girlfriend, who does a lot of work with Hekate, mentioned that when first working with her she had a lot of similar trouble, and had a hard time getting used to her darker side. I know that nowadays there are a lot of people that worship Selene and Hekate as one goddess, sometimes even throwing Artemis into the mix. Up until recently, this seemed like a modern thing so I didn't think anything of it; but I noticed that the prayers to Selene in the Greek Magical Papyri refer to her by all three of those names as well.

I tended more towards them all being separate deities, but from what I experienced, I think the lines may be a little more blurred than I expected them to be.

Do you honestly believe that you can banish a goddess if she doesn't want to leave right then and there?

Lol no not really, I was more worried that I had offended her by attempting it.

I'd also invite you to consider this as well - as a goddess she can read the astral and etheric, much like the archangels she immediately knew way more about you than what you'd usually voluntarily share with a person, and consequently she'd have the capacity to see all of the currents within you - ie. what happened in that ritual would look more to her like a chemical reaction (having known exactly what was there before she communicated with you) than to, say, a human being who'd see none of these things about you and then feel snubbed and even scornful.

In that sense she may have been sending you that sensation during your closing, like you suggested, as a 'Wait, no, we're not done yet'. If you made an honest mistake she may have been procedurally disappointed. If someone who invoked her or even tried to mistakenly evoke her was immature and would have been disrespectful as a factor of that immaturity she would have seen that immediately and either not shown up at all or would have done some things to make a corrective impact on their perceptions.

I've actually been thinking about this today. After thinking more about the intent of the ritual, the experience could very well have been exactly what was supposed to happen. I definitely learned a few things from it, and I think the lessons involved were very relevant.

I think that I'm going to invoke her again tomorrow and see where it goes from there. I'll go into it with the intent of finishing the working, and see what she has to show me.

[RoseRed]

I tended more towards them all being separate deities, but from what I experienced, I think the lines may be a little more blurred than I expected them to be.

I'm right there with you. I'm a work in progress and I'm still learning as I go. It's just the way of things.

Invoke?!?!?

Invoking is inviting the goddess inside of yourself. Evoking is asking her to come sit next to you. Have you done the Preparatory Work so that your vessel can contain the Goddess without breaking? Sure, Christians invite Christ into their hearts. It's a small organ. What level of invocation are you looking for? Into your heart? That's a religious thing and being cavalier with that or not knowing what you're doing - has consequences. Yeah, there are ceremonial magicians who this this all day long. I'm a Witch - I don't know the inner Workings of their Rituals.

You should really think about what level of contact you're comfortable with before you jump into possibly offending Her again. Just some friendly advice. How much patience do you think the Gods have? LOL

[insomni4c]

I've done a ton of preparatory work. I've also invoked her before, and it's always been a bit of a wild ride haha. This time was just the most powerfully she's ever manifested.

This time around with the invocations, I'm working on balancing the masculine and feminine forces within myself. I've noticed that a lot of my mistakes can be attributed to taking too much of a forceful, penetrative approach to my work rather than employing a more passive, receptive approach when necessary. As the goddess of the moon, the intent is that by invoking her into myself like that, that she can help balance things out and help me learn to be more receptive, considering that the moon is the planet that most aligns with my intent. Plus since I've involved myself with her before, I felt more comfortable than I would trying to contact a whole new goddess haha. I'm preparing to finally work with the Enochian Aethers (which is something I've wanted to do for a long time), and feel like this is something I need to focus on before hand.

[RoseRed]

Good for you. It's a beautiful thing to see someone undertake these things this sincerely.

[Haqim]

Well, insomni4c, gods and goddesses can be very whimsical (that's why I usually don't work with them).

I remember once I evoked Maat, and she just didn't like me.
She told me that I'm a tricky mage, thus she doesn't wish to work with me. XD

I wasn't even upset - the whole experience was fascinating (that was the first time I evoked a god).

But I guess your goddess needs a lot of offerings, worship and loooove. [pray]