OccultForum.org

I used to see a lot of spirits. And a lot of malevolence. When I was a kid. When I was around 12 or 13, I made a deal with what I identified as the devil to stop praying every night (I was a good Catholic). And I wouldn't be harassed by spirits again.

Well, I pretty much became a null after that. I thought I had just grown up and lost that youthful magic.

But recently, I messed around with a tarot reading or ten and played around with some hoodoo. And got in over my head. But- I feel like a big piece of who I was- who I am trying to rediscover- is missing.

I am not a good Catholic anymore and don't have any desire to start praying again. And I'm not sure if I am really able to anyway.

I want to protect myself from the inundation of a world that I've been blind to fit 20 years.

And I want to undo what I promised as a child.

Please help.

I have no practical knowledge of magics. And I haven't the slightest what I'm doing. But I definitely need help

Sometimes the best way to destroy something is to ignore it. The more we involve ourselves in something the more it gets into our bones. This is true of books, movies, music etc. Even people we spend time with can leave imprints in us. These imprints only last for as long as we choose to involve ourselves in something. Magicians tune their minds in accordance with certain systems of magic and it causes them to see the world through that paradigm. However, the magician can, if he wants, take up another paradigm and begin seeing the world anew through a new magical lens.

This problem could be resolved simply not investing time in these practices. Eventually the feelings attached to it will go away.

You say that you are not a practicing Catholic. Do you genuinely believe in the devil? Or is it more like a superstition?

I don't think I viewed it as anything more than a means to make a deal when I was a kid. Now, I tend to be drawn to the Yoruba traditions elegba/Exu gods for invocation. So. No. It's not a catholic view of the devil.

My problem lies in that I did forget for a long time and I'd like to stop forgetting or not hit a brick wall when it comes to seeing anything at all with a third eye. So forgetting about the problem will do exactly that- make it go away. But it won't let me remember who I was or let me realize who I am as a whole adult.

You don't have to become a catholic again. BUT, you should go and be baptized again. That is the only way of breaking your deal.

Problem:
I was never baptized Catholic as a child.
The course to be baptized as an adult is 9-18 weeks.
And considering I pray to Exu or Elegba, and have little intent to go back to the Catholic Church-
I think regaining my faith in Catholicism is pretty well not going to happen.
And I assume there needs to be some sort of *intent* behind everything that I do.

So I'm not sure that being baptized into something I don't believe in will do anything at all.

I'll PM you.

BelleMorte wrote:Problem:
I was never baptized Catholic as a child.
The course to be baptized as an adult is 9-18 weeks.
And considering I pray to Exu or Elegba, and have little intent to go back to the Catholic Church-
I think regaining my faith in Catholicism is pretty well not going to happen.
And I assume there needs to be some sort of *intent* behind everything that I do.

So I'm not sure that being baptized into something I don't believe in will do anything at all.

The water in itself is holy. There is a priest there that speaks the words of power. The fact that you go there in physical form is intent enough for the ritual to work.

You don't have to be a catholic to get baptized. The reason why I suggested it was because they have a specific moment in the rite when they ask if you reject satan, all his works and all his empty promises. And that would pretty much make your previous deal broken.

It's the fastest way I can think of.

I think it's a pretty good idea too, given the nature of the ceremony, but perhaps a self authored ritual or one from another paradigm may work too?

If you believe your childhood pact is still affecting you, there must be some residual faith left in you, or it would not bother you at all.

A formalised rite of rejection/ rescindment of some sort sounds viable.