The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

When things don't go as planned, crises and unexpected situations.

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PoisonPen
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The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

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I've been doing meditation and lucid dreaming for a long time. My Anima acts as my dream guide, usually in the form of Christina Applegate. Embarassing, I know, but apparently my subconscious considers her to be the ideal female form against which all others are measured. For the last few years, my dreams have been haunted by a woman I've come to think of as the Dark Mother. She appears as faceless, always dressed in the style of the 20s or 30s, and usually with a glass of some kind of hard liquor and a lit cigarette burning nearby. She never speaks, but always regards me with a sense of what feels like slightly cruel amusement or contempt. She is always accompanied by a large, grey, patchy-furred cat who looks and acts mean, like a veteran alley cat. When I speak to her, she never responds, just regards me coolly with crossed legs. Somehow I get a middle-aged feeling from her, like she's worldly and jaded. Hence my name for her, the Dark Mother.

Recently, however, I've been waking up many times a night gasping for air and with a feeling of panic. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to go to bed unless I'm so completely exhausted that I know I won't wake up. This has coincided with the sense of... something... in my lucid dreams and meditations. I've met gods, demons, and other entities while lucid dreaming, and while they may have been frightening or strong or even threatening, they always felt human in scale. As a Jungian mystic, I recognize all these entities as parts of my own psyche, fragments of personality embodied in various forms. But these new, large, mysterious things feel different somehow. They feel... large. Like they're of a scale so vast that I can't really see them. They feel to me like swimming alongside whales. I get no sense of menace from them. In fact, I get the sense they don't even notice me; that I'm too small to be regarded. This is why I don't quite understand why I'm waking to these panic attacks.

My Anima, who is normally pretty good at helping me understand, has been strangely quiet and absent. After several nights of priming myself for lucid dreams and trying to coax the Anima forward, she finally appeared to me in what seemed to be an empty school gymnasium. And oddly she took the form of Batgirl and Supergirl, sitting side by side. She seemed annoyed at the form she'd taken, quite different from her ordinary form, and clearly wasn't happy about being there. When I tried asking her what was going on, she wouldn't at first speak to me. When I finally compelled her to speak, she looked a bit frightened and said, "There's a man trying to find you. He wants to hurt you. He wants to kill you." And I woke up gasping for air.

I'm not sure what any of this means, but there's a definite feeling of menace and my Anima -- my own spiritual and emotional nature -- is afraid. That's not a good sign. Does anyone have any insights or suggestions?

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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

Post by Cerber »

It might be the truth. You should start covering your tracks maybe. At least that's what I do when some shadow gets on to my scent...
There are reasons out there to keep a low profile.
And no matter how tempting it my might be, try not to look at them, the moment you pierce the mist they can look back. In your case you might have already done that, or exposed your self in some other way
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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

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cleaning, cleansing of yourself and your space, including your anima.
Put up shields, put up barriers, both real and astral.
Get to a higher frequency and get the fuck out of that woman's territory.
Make sure your anima has the same protecting and somewhere safe to be when you're not around.
And if mother tries to come into your space, kick her the fuck out.
She is just some lowly astral dredge.

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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

Post by Cerber »

Hopefully it's just some "some lowly astral dredge", which I wouldn't worry that much about. Hopefully it's not something else.
Although I kind of wonder if that lady has any Asian features?
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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

Post by Cerber »

On the other hand it might just be somebody's "servitor" tasked to seek out adept specimens.. or something along those lines
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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

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Thank you both for the advice. As a Jungian the paradigms I use are a little different; rituals for me are about using suggestibility to build confidence and reinforce the Self, and finding ways of integrating my many archetypal selves into a working committee of Me capable of functioning without too much internal conflict. I'll try smudging, iron nails over doorways and windows, and purifying with salt and see if that helps. I'm not sure how I would go about protecting the Anima. She's me, after all, or part of me, anyway. I wasn't aware that different parts of me might require special protections. The Anima has always seemed quite strong to me, certainly much wiser than my conscious identity. Is she not capable of protecting herself without my conscious intervention?
Cerber wrote:Although I kind of wonder if that lady has any Asian features?
I'm not sure. She has no face, it's just a completely smooth, featureless expanse of skin where her face should be. She has a Marlena Dietrich feel about her, that sort of gruff, sardonic nature. If I had to characterize her in a word, I'd call her "wry." She never participates in anything, she just sits and watches. Often when I'm talking to other characters, she'll be sitting nearby. Once, during a lucid dreaming exercise to deal with some internal conflict, when the Anima set up a meeting for me with a demon who had a gripe with me, I arrived at the bar to find the Dark Mother sitting side by side with the demon, waiting for me, although she didn't take part in the discussion, she just sat and watched while her cigarette smouldered in the ashtray between us. It's why I haven't tried banishing her or telling her to leave; she doesn't seem to be doing any harm except enjoying my discomfort and making me feel foolish.

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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

Post by chowderpope »

She sounds creepy. And she should quit smoking. Terrible habit.

That reminds me of a dream I had recently where I recorded a waveform of several disembodied voices twisting and creating gibberish. When I looked at how the waveform appeared visually, it revealed hieroglyphs that explained how "they" would burn my astral body.

I did not wake up in terror like you did though. That sounds pretty scary.

It also reminds me of how I, while awake, once heard a disembodied voice laughing and screaming at me that I was going to die.

Did Supergirl and Batgirl not simply express a deeply embedded and natural fear? I don't know how much I'd give credence to the threat of someone looking for you and trying to kill you, unless of course you had reason to think that besides dream messages. Maybe there's some kind of symbolic meaning to it, though.

Banishing is a good idea though. I did some experimental evocations recently and the next day I was feeling really anxious for no reason, so I did the LBRP and felt better almost immediately.
Awake from sleep! Remember you're the son of a Great King, see to whom you're enslaved!

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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

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PoisonPen wrote: Is she not capable of protecting herself without my conscious intervention?
To a certain degree yes.

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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

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PoisonPen wrote: I'm not sure. She has no face, it's just a completely smooth, featureless expanse of skin where her face should be. She has a Marlena Dietrich feel about her, that sort of gruff, sardonic nature. If I had to characterize her in a word, I'd call her "wry." She never participates in anything, she just sits and watches. Often when I'm talking to other characters, she'll be sitting nearby. Once, during a lucid dreaming exercise to deal with some internal conflict, when the Anima set up a meeting for me with a demon who had a gripe with me, I arrived at the bar to find the Dark Mother sitting side by side with the demon, waiting for me, although she didn't take part in the discussion, she just sat and watched while her cigarette smouldered in the ashtray between us. It's why I haven't tried banishing her or telling her to leave; she doesn't seem to be doing any harm except enjoying my discomfort and making me feel foolish.
Doesn't sound familiar. I know only one faceless entity, the one and only, Her Majesty Lady Death, The Grim Reaper. I've never seen her, but some people I know and trust (to a degree) did, and they say (or rather whisper) her facial features leaves much to be desired for some reason.
Probably not it.
PoisonPen wrote:Thank you both for the advice. As a Jungian the paradigms I use are a little different; rituals for me are about using suggestibility to build confidence and reinforce the Self, and finding ways of integrating my many archetypal selves into a working committee of Me capable of functioning without too much internal conflict. I'll try smudging, iron nails over doorways and windows, and purifying with salt and see if that helps. I'm not sure how I would go about protecting the Anima. She's me, after all, or part of me, anyway. I wasn't aware that different parts of me might require special protections. The Anima has always seemed quite strong to me, certainly much wiser than my conscious identity. Is she not capable of protecting herself without my conscious intervention?
I don't have Anime so clearly expressed, so can't talk from my own experience, but from what I understand it can't be very strong, it's just a part of you. I'd guess to make her stronger you would have to make her bigger part of you, share (surrender) more of you with(to) her. But for the start, I believe, you should express more pride and less shame when you talk about her, especially in public, it might have some negative impact subconsciously, on her confidence. Whatever she looks like, she looks amazing, not silly, not embarrassing. At least that's where I'd start.
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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

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Well. I'm not sure what to make of that. Last night, the Anima came to me and told me that instead of waking up, she had left a number of jars around my dreams, and that rather than waking up gasping, in terror, I could instead take the panic and put them in the jars. The jars look like large glass pickle jars with a screw-on lid. When I felt myself waking from my dreams, I took the panic and breathed them into the jars, which I then sealed. The panic looked like lightning, bouncing around inside the jars. The Anima told me these jars of panic are actually quite valuable, though she didn't explain how.

But after doing this for a while, I woke up suddenly in pain and a mouthful of blood; I'd actually bitten off a chunk of the inside of my mouth. And as I got out of bed, the light switched itself off. I thought it might have burned out, but the light switch was physically moved to the off position. This is a level of manifestation I haven't experienced before. Jung described the way the unconscious could impress itself on representational reality so I'm not worried about ghosts and ghoulies, but I'm concerned that there's something growing increasingly hostile inside me.

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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

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Well, if you are going to use jungs methods, the best thing with probably be psychotherapy to find out what is causing your suffering.
Remember that thoughts can sometimes manifest themselves a little bit differently from their origin. For example a child that is being beaten might start to pee it's bed. Stop the beatings, and the peeing stops.

Figure out what is beating at you and try to overcome that.

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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

Post by Cerber »

Sounds like your Anima quite an independent lady.. Is that the way it supposed to be?
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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

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Cerber wrote:Sounds like your Anima quite an independent lady.. Is that the way it supposed to be?
It can be, with some it's more profuse with some it's more sublime.
It's like temperament, some have a long fuse, some have a short one.

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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

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But wouldn't it lead to some kind of internal conflict eventually?
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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

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Cerber wrote:But wouldn't it lead to some kind of internal conflict eventually?
That was a problem jung struggled with also. Either the self takes control of all it's aspects and subdues them, or all the aspects live in harmony in some sort of peaceful schizophrenia.
I don't think he ever really reached a conclusion.

Most likely, we will end up living our life mostly in control of ourself and whenever unchecked or unbalanced we will succumb to our lower aspects. Pretty much explaining mental illness as nothing but an unbalanced self. I don't think he was ever happy with such a simplistic explanation.

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Re: The Dark Mother, whale-like entities, and a threat

Post by Cerber »

That's what I was thinking, that I can't imagine it staying nice and peaceful, like fairytale, everyone is happy with what they have and their place and so on. But doesn't usually work that way, any entity, external or internal if left to run around free, to learn, to grow eventually grow to be disatisfied with its place, boundaries and its place in hiarachy etc.
But Im not implying that any of the outcome is good or bad, that depends on one's preferences.
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