Samael, Kabballah?

[solace_of_shadows]

This is a fairly straightforward occurence but I am puzzled due to being such a novice still. I've been in a terrible situation that I am trying to get out of. Although I need knowledge, and any kind of work in this area is not possible now, (as described in other areas) I still have felt some incredible things, "presences", I have felt, at times when trying to focus, a very specific "presence"; I've felt what I perceived to be this presence entering my body. Other times a variation of things happens, or I can feel a guidance of sorts toward certain ends, sometimes through a voice in my mind's eye. This is a very loose description, I know this isn't an uncommon phenomenon, the actual experience was much more, and hard to describe. But it has rarely been as clear as I will soon describe. I should explain again here, that unfortunately due to a longstanding illness that I believe is largely part of an awakening, I have not been able to really do very much at all, including any kind of ritual, and my interest in this really began when I started getting sick.

Basically I am completely trapped in every area. . One day it was quite bad. I then heard a voice, "listen to me...This is what you need to do...If you want to get out of here..." Then it faded as life and sickness took over, but I felt it returning, I felt something trying to contact me. There was nothing I could do. Weeks went by, then one day as I felt the presence again, I heard a voice, very distinctly, simply the words "My name is Samael". I have various theories about this as of yet. But apart from merely subconscious (I am keeping an open mind), I don't know who/what this is, if it is truly Samael or at least a pattern of energy representing him. etc. and what exactly it/he wants with me, if I can trust this.. The nature of being trapped keeps me from moving forward on any of it.

Later on something happened involving a friend, and part of this situation I am in that is wretched, I wondered what to do. I heard a voice yet again, very distinctly, say merely the word "Yesod". The next day, the same thing, except louder and clearer, and more urgent. I felt a distinctive sense of urgency every time, from the presence speaking.

I'm embarrassed about being so ignorant to everything, yes even the Kabballah. I haven't had a chance to study it...I had to look it up, I had no recollection of what "Yesod" was. Before all this started I had wanted to study the Kabballah and everything else.

I am so limited right now, I really can't do anything, let alone study the Kabballah at this time to understand what to do. I have a very vague understanding of Yesod, does anyone know what this means in this particular context? What could I do with that?

I don't know enough to have decided upon anything but I am drawn to the Left Hand Path, I used to also know a few people into that a while ago. They were understandably private about it but still, I'm wondering if from my intreraction with these people and the kinds of things I like generally being on that end, if this is referencing the Jewish Kabballah or the Qlippoth or both, or something else. I know just as little about either of them. Also why Samael? It would make sense that it is him I think, but I'm wondering on others' input. I just don't know enough.

I feel like just sitting on this isn't a good idea.

[solace_of_shadows]

Surely someone has some kind of idea... I realize I don't know a lot right now, and I can't get from A to B without some kind of guidance, I'm in the middle of constant suffering and really nothing else - which prevents me from doing all this necessary preparation and understanding... I don't know what to do. Does my question sound too ridiculous? Foolish? Silly? Did I post in the wrong area? I know this isn't exactly as advanced as the other stuff on this thread, not by a long stretch. But still. It's part of a greater picture occurring here and Someonemust know something. The point is I need to do something, and I'm limited, so I'm reaching out online, the only thing I can do right now. The things that are happening are happening for a reason I think, and the urgency is not just in what I heard. Things are...occurring, I feel I am being sort of pushed into some direction, (like someone literally pushed me off the cliff and said "You'd better hope there's a net". I've been feeling that for a long time Something very important must happen and I just don't know how to start getting there like this, I can't until my health is returned. Or perhaps there is something. I don't think this means I'm supposed to do anything stupid of course, I just want to figure this out...

[corvidus]

It doesn't sound ridiculous. It sounds like you need to put some effort into studying. Just google-ing 'Yesod' and 'Samael' will start you off on the right track.

What are you suffering from, and why haven't you seen a doctor or physician about it?

[CCoburn]

It doesn't come right up in a google search, or takes a bit more reading than i'm willing to do right now.
But Samael is one of the Orders of the Qlippoth that rules over Mercury in the Qlippa of Hod.

The "el" suffix meaning God, indicates Archangel status. As far as I know.
I also have heard Samael referred to as one of the archangels of Briah.
It seems Briah is the origin of Archangels, but can be assigned to other worlds.

Cheers

[solace_of_shadows]

Thanks, I really appreciate the two that answered here. This is kind of a weird thing to post I realize. For the record, I never want or intend to ask people to show me all the answers without any effort on my end. To answer Corvidus, and I suppose anyone else, the issue is that sadly I really am far too sick for anything at all, even studying... It is embarrassing, but there is nothing I can do about it. I hate asking questions that are obvious to find or that I could answer myself, this one is something I could have handled were I not in such a state. I had tried googling it anyway and what I feel is required is far more complex than that, something very in depth, and something I just cannot do...A ton of studying amongst other things, sadly my hands are tied... What I have is very severe, and I am to be honest not very functional right now and completely isolated from everything and everyone. I'd rather not talk about specifics but, frequent trips to the ER, intensive testing, etc. It is a serious condition I believe that is occurring alongside the awakening. I didn't do anything to cause it, it just happened one day when everything and everyone in my life fell apart. It can be cured, if they are finding what I think they are, but it will not be easy, which is just what will have to be, it's already bad enough anyway. I have seen many doctors, it is rare and difficult to treat. I have almost died several times, and might still be in danger of that. I should not be trying to do anything really, I was just hoping that this was a glimpse of something I could grasp onto to better understand the importance of it... It seemed urgent, I thought I would seek answers to assist myself when I am well enough to handle these things, or else if it is something dangerous to me, considering everything that is happening (everywhere I turn something bad is happening, loads of bad luck for lack of a better term, much of which is a function of being ill) and what little I know of Samael. Besides my innate interest in the occult, all this happening expediated the idea that there might be a way to seek answers if there is any way to survive beyond this existence, and that maybe doing something with this is a kind of stepping stone somehow.

Thank you Spida, I've heard about some of that, but not Briah.

The term used was specifically and urgently "YESOD" and I don't know which was meant for that, it's just so out of context. Hopefully this will become clearer

If anyone else has an idea that would be great, I realize it's a strange kind of question

[Hadit]

It doesn't sound ridiculous. It sounds like you need to put some effort into studying. Just google-ing 'Yesod' and 'Samael' will start you off on the right track.

What are you suffering from, and why haven't you seen a doctor or physician about it?

Yesod? Why not Gevurah?

[CCoburn]

you could also look up Yesod in Liber 777, which would be line 9 of every column in the tables of correspondences.
Much more information in a compact form, as opposed to sifting through search results.
Samael is also scattered about in there.

Yesod is a very powerful Sphere in the TOL, with the Moon as one of it's associations.
It is in the Pillar of Equilibrium, which represents force combined with form, and also consciousness.
It is also the foundation of material manifestation. If I remember right, it purifies the Emanations,
and disposes of their unity, according to the Sepher Yetzirah.

Peace

[corvidus]

Yesod? Why not Gevurah?

Yesod and not Gevurah because of the OP's experience:

Weeks went by, then one day as I felt the presence again, I heard a voice, very distinctly, simply the words "My name is Samael". [. . .] I heard a voice yet again, very distinctly, say merely the word "Yesod". The next day, the same thing, except louder and clearer, and more urgent.

[Hadit]

Yesod? Why not Gevurah?

Yesod and not Gevurah because of the OP's experience:

Weeks went by, then one day as I felt the presence again, I heard a voice, very distinctly, simply the words "My name is Samael". [. . .] I heard a voice yet again, very distinctly, say merely the word "Yesod". The next day, the same thing, except louder and clearer, and more urgent.

Duh Hadit, use your fucking reading comprehension! Haha sorry bout that!