Satan Fumes as Hell Reaches CapacityGATES OF HELL, Hades (AP) Emissaries from the seventh level of Hell disclosed the disturbing news through an Official Damnation press release today that Hell has reached its maximum capacity and can not accept any more damned souls into its den of iniquity. Indications are that Satan is fuming.
Negotiations are underway to sublease some of the excess capacity in Heaven. However, St. Peter has made it clear that he has no plans now or ever to "make a deal with the Devil," as such an endeavor would not only tarnish the celestial image of the land of the afterlife, but would also cause people to second guess the severity of their individual sins, thereby undermining the eternal battle of good versus evil.
An in-depth analysis of recent inductees into the Halls of Hell shows a marked increase in recent decades of lawyers, used car salesmen and telemarketers. These statistics suggest the possibility that those guilty of lesser sins may either be allowed to back into Heaven or perhaps be relegated to either Limbo or Pergatory. A complete reevaluation of the sin index is underway.
You guys better not die till the matter is resolved. I'd hate to think that any of us could get stuck in limbo or purgetory where we all know damned well that there is a place in hell reserved for us!
*smirk*
Q
I'd probably volunteer for the -ex mortals demon corps. Maybe i'd get a nice bungalow over by the lake of fire. not that i believe in hell or anything.