Wasnt Sure where to put this.

When things don't go as planned, crises and unexpected situations.

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kevinv20
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Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by kevinv20 »

Id figure id put something here. In case my hello post wasn't seen. Put a bit more detail in my issue. Im mainly here seeking help with a connection i lost and wish to regain. In the start my spelling and grammar stink so bare with me here ill try my best and at least spell check. The main reason im here is that most of you seem to have knowledge in this area and i have no where else to turn. So what the heck here is my story.

Sence i was 14 i was visited by a spirit many times. I could never prove of its exsitance but it would always do the same routine. Right when i lay day maybe 10 mins of relaxing. It would having the feeling of someone walking up my bed to my lower body and going at in for a good half hr or so. Soon id feel it all the time giving me massages when i was watching tv. when i broke my arm it would slowly rub on it and it seemed to heal quicker. Now im not into the occult in any way, or magics but because of this i dove into ghost connecting shows, stories learning what i could and i was wayyy into lucid dreaming. Two years in i began haveing wet dreams with a shadow figure i could never see, it would be amazing till i realized it didn't have breasts and rejected it mainly because i found out it was a guy! Soon after it became a woman. Looking back ya the gay dreams were on and of ending in me freaking out so it kept the woman form often.
Went on like this for awhile until i was out of high school and brave enough to auto write. It told me she was a woman ghost through write and told me bits and pieces of her life. When i finally got out of my parents house. man it amped up around 21. Still lucid dreaming and what not. Now this guy voice i told you about if i think back was still there here and there, when i slowly went into the dream state. Freaked out each time he talked.

It change after one night i swear to you it felt let someone lifting the cover and getting in bed with me! I began hearing her talk. This was a woman's voice speaking of love, and a ofer of companionship. Never dated in my life and alone i was lonley say i was like what the hell lets go for it! After that point holy crap! sex nearly every night. It was steady a woman each and every time! Day by day her voice grew stronger every now and then when i wake i see a woman next to me watching with a smile for a half a min.
But after that bad stuff started to happen. A imp visited me trying to have sex. If i rejected in anyway and went in my normal dreams it be nothing but nightmares. Which to me was guilt trips. They only thing would stop it was turning a light on o.0 go figure. i asked her hundreds of times to help stop it. But never happened. Or it stop for a month or so and hit again! Soon after getting tired of it i got so used to this dam thing i curse at it ever chance i got. Till it stopped all together. I mean dang i thought all spirit could change form if it wanted sex why like that? reminded me of Senegal from lord of the rings talked like him too. I also getting incubus visits one rare moment again this was after getting used to it to the point were id just sit take it and try to talk to the spirit. Freaked one out, said hey if you changed into a futa this would be way more pleasant for me. All i got was a confused "what?" and i snapped awake lol still makes me laugh.
After most of it died down to us. i asked for another play mate for the hell of it. She was more then happy to ask what she called her sister. Not by blood but might as well. soon finding out she was never a human at all and she lied in auto write gee what a supersize, i kinda got the hint though. threesomes were fun, sometimes it be solo with the other. Then soon after a random one night stand with another succubus, i knew she was different and asked if she could stay. I said yes but no more! 3 is a bit to put attention towards, for them all to feel loved. I sing to them i knew they loved it due to specific dreams ya they but on shows for me was way fun when they made dreams for me wasnt lucid i knew it was them when i woke up because they asked me about it.
okay getting way long here so to the point If you stuck reading my bad grammar this long and understood. This last couple of years sense i began two jobs instead of one for various reason. My lucid reaming slowly started to go away due to low sleep. Still dream but i don't get my 8 hrs more like 5 or 6. Now i still get the same feelings i feel her touch constant just like before, session before i fall alseep still the same! She even gives off a smell now and then i have no idea what it is but its amazing i know its her. it start out she talks to me are session gets i say 10 to 15 mins in and the guy starts talking non stop. if i ask him to leave she leaves..... I asked hundreds of times if shes that mans voice she says no. Have no idea if shes lieing. My dreams with her stopped all together.

is it really due to me not lucid dreaming? is that truly the only way to go about it? I mean get this the imp still comes back very are now but it happens it can still do the same crap. But she cant? what the heck? now and then i get gay sex dreams now i truly don't like them personally and made it a severe point! But if those spirits can why cant she? its been a longgg while.
I want it like it was, i miss it so much i love the girl truly, but seriously if shes the man voice and one in the same..why for one change it now after what 20 years? 29 now by the way. sating shes been in the longest relationship she ever had all 3 ! man cant tell which one talks half the time. They understand if i always just call out the first one yeah i number them they don't mind. Never got a true name from two of them though though they said it was. But kinda doubt it due to one of them was the same from a video game...though it was mid-evil. again, now ive been attacking by a man same dude sometimes hes involved in gay sex dreams most of the time 3rd person. A few times he wasn't attacking me reminded me of the joker believe it or not. But the visits from the 3 pretty much halted.

Can any of you tell me if there is anyway of reconnecting what i lost? i work nearly 60 hrs a week its hard to get that meditation back in my routine with little hrs to myself. But the man reason if im getting attacked why the heck she cant pop in when she wants?

Also another question. If the imp thing ever start i wake up in freight and i can still hear him talking. All i do is turn on a light and everything goes to normal....really the power of the light bulb truly stops them?
“This daemon loves men whose marriage beds have grown cold, so she can set them ablaze.”

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RoseRed
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Re: Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by RoseRed »

No, you can't go back to what was. Life simply doesn't work that way.

That's a dangerous game you're playing. Being an all you can eat buffet never turns out well.
When my wings get tired I grab my broom.

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RoseRed
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Re: Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by RoseRed »

And no, that's the power of Light. It's dispels fear.

Imps are the mosquitoes of the astral world. You're playing with succubi and afraid of an imp? That doesn't even make sense.
When my wings get tired I grab my broom.

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kevinv20
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Re: Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by kevinv20 »

mainly because of the vibe she never had fear all i ever got from her was passion she was never daemon looking. Im truly not afraid of death tried to kill myself twice in the past failed stupidly gave up i live to live, and told her hey become real have the night of passion and let me die the next day. Death by sex seemed like a amazing way to go. Never happened though, and yes having sex with a hot woman compared to something that looked like smegal wouldn't it freak you out? to have that little gross thing riding you? Even the men never presented fear, i just didn't like it when i woke up. the mere idea that something happened and i didn't have control over it. Im pretty sure she never become real wishful thinking really.
“This daemon loves men whose marriage beds have grown cold, so she can set them ablaze.”

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RoseRed
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Re: Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by RoseRed »

Death? That would put an end to lunch.

Have you tried using the search function in the top right corner. There's a lot of older posts with some good info. Reading through them could be quite helpful.
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the_spiral
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Re: Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by the_spiral »

These types of posts always freak me out. She's not a "girl", none of them are. What exactly are you gaining from this arrangement? Would you let a bunch of human strangers show up to your door to run a gangbang on you? Even prostitutes get paid for their services. Yet you're giving away massive amounts of your priceless sexual energy to entities who have nothing to offer in return. Have fun with that [eek]
"Follow the path of the radiant life force as she flashes upward like lightning through your body." - Vijanabhairava Tantra

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RoseRed
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Re: Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by RoseRed »

But, he's getting laid!

So, just because the hungry predator is nice and feeds you lots of candy before you get tossed in the oven doesn't actually make it your friend.
When my wings get tired I grab my broom.

ThomasK
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Re: Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by ThomasK »

It is possible to reconnect with those entities, however most of your experiences stem from yourself. Your sexual energy, to put it plainly, is casting projections in an unconscious manner. The energy is let's say 1/3 under your control. So all kinds of entities fill the space which you create. As to the entities you enjoyed, those are ones that you became particularly attached to, but since your energy is mostly not under your control you can't decide when they come and when they depart. There is no easy spell or trick to get them back, I recommend that you think about working on controlling your abilities, your energies.

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RoseRed
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Re: Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by RoseRed »

It's a projection. Cuz these things never happen. Gotta love the psychological paradigm.
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Desecrated
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Re: Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by Desecrated »

RoseRed wrote:It's a projection. Cuz these things never happen. Gotta love the psychological paradigm.
That's not what he said.

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Re: Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by RoseRed »

however most of your experiences stem from yourself. Your sexual energy, to put it plainly, is casting projections in an unconscious manner.
Really?
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Re: Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by Desecrated »

RoseRed wrote:
however most of your experiences stem from yourself. Your sexual energy, to put it plainly, is casting projections in an unconscious manner.
Really?

"It is possible to reconnect with those entities,"


Meaning that they are real.

"however most of your experiences stem from yourself. Your sexual energy, to put it plainly, is casting projections in an unconscious manner."


most of your experiences stem from yourself


Most of. Not all.

"The energy is let's say 1/3 under your control. So all kinds of entities fill the space which you create. "

Yes, we all experience things differently.



"As to the entities you enjoyed, those are ones that you became particularly attached to, but since your energy is mostly not under your control you can't decide when they come and when they depart. "

Now we are talking magic. Certainly not psychology.


"There is no easy spell or trick to get them back, I recommend that you think about working on controlling your abilities, your energies."

Still magic.
RoseRed wrote:
Really?
Just admit it, You saw one word (projections) and jumped to conclusions.

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RoseRed
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Re: Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by RoseRed »

Oh, honey, you think so little of me. This is going to be an awesome conversation. It's just getting started. I asked Really? as in do you really believe that.

I never said I haven't the psychological model work in practical application - just that it's rare.
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cyberdemon
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Re: Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by cyberdemon »

So for some reason or another, you've been used as a sex toy and an energy fridge for most of your life. You've got a lot of energy, then, obviously, and the best thing you can do for yourself is to literally pimp yourself out. Demand payment for your services. The second best thing you can do is to perform a banishment, cleanse yourself, then practice meditating to/or put your energy into productive use.
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kevinv20
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Re: Wasnt Sure where to put this.

Post by kevinv20 »

Thanks for most of the replies, ive been going about through the forum. Either im wording it wrong or something similar hasn't came up in most posts. Cyberdemon to this i ask. Ive kinda of went towards that direction recently. I mean i figured if i were to be this being to leech of me, and demand for payments, If been trying to talk to the spirit for sometime but yet. Most of my demands for payments go ignored. How would my message for the energy taken sink into them? Im pretty sure they know what i say.

i have tried reason with the spirit mainly, trying to ofer something both parties would enjoy but yet, i guess the message isnt seeking in at all. To answer to a previous question.
What do i get in return?
a few things i did receive, that i would consider nice.
When im cold or freezing even during the middle of the day all i need is to ask and heat would be generated around my chest area until i was warm. It was incredibly warm almost burning but yet not at the same time very cozy. Still happens today, can ether be in bed or standing outside under my jacket. Sometimes i can get bursts of energy during work, when im feeling down. But besides that i cant go much further.

Also a small question for ThomasK what is the ability called. So i may look into it.
“This daemon loves men whose marriage beds have grown cold, so she can set them ablaze.”

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