Thank you Rin and everyone else who had patience with me on this subject.Rin wrote:Rose's advice about studying biofeedback properly is solid - look into the science behind what you're doing instead of just winging it. And study the systems you're working with so you gain a better understanding of what you're doing to your body and mind when you do this.
It's called the "fight or flight" response for a good reason - it's only supposed to kick in (especially at the absurd levels you're sending it to - those heart rate and blood pressure numbers are not safe, and would be considered severe tachycardia and hypertension in medical terms) when a person is in serious danger, as a protective method - on an evolutionary level, think "oh shit those glowing things in the bushes are the eyes of a lion" type situations.
And I'm gonna be honest, none of the reasons you mentioned you use it for (fighting off sickness, decreasing pain, recovering from the effects of drugs faster etc.) are things you can't deal with properly instead of overriding them by stimulating excess adrenaline - and by doing this instead of dealing with them properly, you ignore the root cause and so worsen the problem in the long run.
If you're in pain, it's there as a signal that something is wrong, and should be used as an opportunity to explore what that something is and fix it, if you're sick, you should rest and let your body recover, if you're suffering the aftereffects of drug use, you should take it easy and live healthy for a while, and reconsider your pattern of substance use, etc. None of these situations are important enough to be triggering the SNS to the degree you are - or they would already do it automatically, in everyone.
You might feel fine now but I feel pretty comfortable guaranteeing that continuing this pattern of behavior will take both a direct (by the wearing down of the cardiovascular and nervous systems, and possibly by leading to higher SNS stimulation even when you aren't "surging" - although I'm not sure about the latter) and indirect (by the buildup of health problems as they're overriden with adrenaline instead of reacted to normally) toll on your health. You're messing with millions of years of evolutionary design and a delicately balanced homeostasis. If you want some similar examples, look up the health problems caused by excess stress (which is effectively the same excessive triggering of the SNS, albeit at a lower level for prolonged periods of time due to lifestyle problems, as opposed to an extreme level at irregular intervals due to biofeedback-style manual triggering) or the frequent use of stimulant drugs like meth/amphetamine and cocaine (which again, release high levels of adrenaline - although even they don't drive the HR/BP that high except in overdose situations).
Do some research and seriously consider what effect this practice is having on you. I'd also suggest looking into techniques which have the opposite effect (reduce the release of adrenaline and activate the para-sympathetic nervous system) like mindfulness and other forms of meditation, basic breathing exercises, etc (which also have all sorts of spiritual and magical benefits). Or again just by using similar biofeedback techniques.
I know it might seem like what you're doing is just a cool trick which can help you deal with inconvenient situations, but in the long run it will wear you down, much as overuse of stimulant drugs like amphetamines or cocaine would. I imagine the reason you can't sustain it for longer than 30 seconds is that your body recognizes that those levels of stimulation are dangerous and works to counteract it - so I'd highly suggest not attempting to push even further beyond that barrier.
Please consider your health and the possible long term consequences of what you're doing.
I feel my anxiety turning into peace.
I now understand what I am doing to myself.
No one, not my doc or my friends and family have been able to elaborate like you have... and I feel like your advice is gold.
My doc supplies me with sleep pills because sometimes I just cannot sleep do to all the ideas that run through my head and I usually spend my time trying to validate them through research.
So I need to be forcefully knocked out... lol
I appreciate your approach and time and effort with me, I do not feel challenged, but humbled.
I will make a symbol that will remind me not to resort to "surging".
And when I see that symbol ... I will be thinking about everyone here at occultforum. [happy2]
In the meantime I shall be doing my homework on "biofeedback" - it sounds like a very interesting subject.