However, so far my experiences with the occult have consisted only of things out of my control, without me actually initiating anything through magick work or rituals etc. This is because I have been extremely cautious to actually actively get involved in occult practices, firstly because I am very fearful in general of the occult (I think Hollywood ghost movies have something to do with this), and secondly because almost my whole life I have had major problems with clinical depression and OCD, and I have read that mixing this with occult practice is a very, very bad idea that could even result in insanity.
What I hope to achieve here (besides socializing with what I've so far seen to be very intelligent and knowledgeable people!) is to receive guidance and feedback into dipping my feet in the occult at a very slow and comfortable pace, with the aim of being able to one day properly work and communicate with Ashtaroth/Ishtar, instead of having to go through a medium every time I want to receive guidance from Her. I also want to share the interesting experiences I've already had.
I'm a university student in my 20s, I have lived in a lot of countries throughout my life (long story).
And, I think I already made this intro way too long.
