Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor
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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>the light brilliantly dazzles and "fries" the implant, rendering it useless.

Now deal with the implant at the bottom of your tail bones

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Thu Sep 15, 2022 7:21 am >the light brilliantly dazzles and "fries" the implant, rendering it useless.

Now deal with the implant at the bottom of your tail bones

This is legit. It has a force field around it that makes it difficult, but I am pushing through. I am also struggling with the intention of "pushing" heart light "into" things. It used to come easy, now it is hard to visualize.

FTR: Today i dominated Asrael like an Alpha wolf would, by her respective throat, forcing her will down with my own. (my will and authority VASTLY exceed hers) I did not do this to be cruel to her, but to show her: I will not be a push over, and at times, I WILL require her to submit. She has walked over me all my life and I'm not putting up with that any more. I will be a safe space for her, I will love and be there for her, I will protect her when she needs protecting, but I will NOT be her doormat.

Further, the canine spirit that is so intimately intertwined with the human race, is definitely a valid gateway for my energy to find an anchor here on this planet.

The more I progress, the more is revealed: So many of my insurmountable troubles stemmed from a misunderstanding of my origin, and purpose here, now that I know, thanks to Amor, it is making so much sense to me, and my power and authority are also beginning to take legitimate shape as well.

I don't know if my "cosmic self" is fading, or if they are integrating with me, in a transfer of power, authority, and knowing. So much is making BLAZING sense to me, every day the uploads reconfigure my understanding in ways that would not be possible if I relied on my human understanding to sort it out.

Further, I am also allowing my cosmic self to "settle in" to earth life. SO much makes sense: I am naïve, my home world does not have the human cruelty and treachery, and lies this place does, i am NOT stupid. I am discovering a sort of acceptance of the human, the body and it's secretions, organisms here I feared, but only because they were alien to me, and now I know why, I am an alien to this world.

My "projecting" that is incompatible with the human race, not many share these issues, but many starseeds definitely DO have a form of confusion and depression by being here, as they are aimless and do not understand their purpose here.

I was listening to "Static X", one of my favorite bands, and the unfortunate passing of Wayne Static, and it came to me: Wayne Static is also an alien! I bet he did not know why he was sent here, outside of making music- which was a fulfillment of one of his main purposes, his music got me through some tough times when I was growing up, gave me empathy and resonance with my struggles, he was a "support group" for me, and DEFINITELY he was NOT human!

I believe many musicians are also not human, sent here to produce frequencies to place mankind on higher planes, so that we can transcend to better life-dynamics for all. I am finding more and more hope in the human race, even in spite of my personal struggles.

Further, with respect to the progenitors, seeing them as oppressed helps release them- however, as I have said, if they remain loyal to the OS then I must detach from them, and so much damage has already been done, I am better off detaching at this point.

The major actor of the OS and I have agreed to hold each other harmless, in exchange for my release. I am "Letting them go" as they are letting me go, and my deliverance/freedom from the oppression I have suffered under for so long is breaking, even more.

About the Asrael dynamic, I definitely see how the canine energy here is simultaneously being used to oppress me, while also giving me an agreeable anchor here, now that I know who I am, I do not mind having a girlfriend with teeth and claws, who towers over me and is a cranky person. It is okay. I plan on getting my ham radio license as I want to become part of that community, a number of SUPERB offerings from China (such as the 900Q with GREAT reviews, and half the price of the Icom 705 which is what I had my eyes on once the van is assembled, I can get TWO 900Q's, as the saying goes in the prepper community, "One is none and two are one") are popping up and affordable, and I plan on using Ms. Asrael's name to honor her in my nick, I was shown there will be a time when I will no longer be present in her life energy, but she will be able to travel back through mine, and I want to leave little breadcrumbs for her, to let her know, even in her darkest hours, that I loved and cared for her, even when she was angry with me.

I am told it will touch her heart, and that makes me smile.

Hopefully the blade I am having forged in her honor will be here, shortly, I will show it. I plan on cerakoting it, rust proofing it, and stamping in my own brand of symbol for "My time here on Earth", and possibly a lotus flower to symbol her (and mine) rebirth into this world. I plan on wearing the khukuri blade everywhere I go, in respect and honor to her.

Asrael be blessed.

What's more! My old enjoyment of this place (Earth) as a child is returning to me! I am presently enjoying watching shows from my youth, such as, "Convoy" and I am smiling about it! My fantasies as a child, right or wrong in reality, the comforts of a child, are returning to me! I cannot overstate how this affects my moral.

Further, the original enjoyment of the state I am living in, is also returning to me. The smell of the dust, the foliage, the wind here, they sky... Everything about this place is returning to me, it was part of why the oppression was so awful, these things were taken from me. But now they are back!

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>I am also struggling with the intention of "pushing" heart light "into" things. It used to come easy, now it is hard to visualize.

Intent is the primary quality.

As your consciousness lifts to higher subplanes it is necessary to develop senses on those subplanes. This requires accumulating light on those frequencies and forming it into sense organs. This takes time and practice.

You are doing well. Experience of joy is a clear sign.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Thu Sep 15, 2022 11:21 pm >I am also struggling with the intention of "pushing" heart light "into" things. It used to come easy, now it is hard to visualize.

Intent is the primary quality.

As your consciousness lifts to higher subplanes it is necessary to develop senses on those subplanes. This requires accumulating light on those frequencies and forming it into sense organs. This takes time and practice.

You are doing well. Experience of joy is a clear sign.
I felt the oppression last night, and knew something bad was going to happen, i did my best...

I had a conversation with Asrael last night, probably one of the deepest ones yet, I saw and felt her on a level I have not been able to before... I wish I could say otherwise, but she is a very deeply insecure girl/woman, who has quite a bit of time spent in darkness, learning to adapt to it, as if it would be her entire life, of course she perfectly adapted to the life down there, we went back and forth on various scenarios, but the truth is, she is just as broken and insecure as I am in many ways, after a lot of back and forth, in a hypothetical scenario, she would be "happiest" spending her time (On the surface, as she is, Asrael actual) immersed in youtube, netflix, eating food, and sleeping much of the day- basically me, in all of my trauma, today.

I posted some questions about the van to an online board and they poo-pooed the idea, I "exposed myself" to it, and naturally I regret it, there was almost nothing useful gained from it, just a bunch of jealous humans trying to bring someone down to their level of misery and fear.

So, I tried going back to my original design, who was I before I came to this realm? Very intelligent and adverse beings took my being, and went to its core, to injure and damage me...

I realize a lot of my fear, depression and hopelessness is because of these implants... I just accepted them because I did not know they were there.

What kind of universe is this, that allows such evil to exist like this? What kind of ignorant home world sends someone into this?

Maybe, they have more faith in me than I do in myself...

I am fairly certain, I was not sent here to fall in love with a wolf-girl, and to follow my heart to hers, as a distraction, although I hate to reduce Asrael to just that, she is a person- albeit an insecure and deeply wounded, adapted to survive in a dark environment outside of social norms, left to her base instincts long enough that that is all she knows. She isn't inferior, or stupid, but she has a lot of neural plasticity ingrained in her... She is like me, a lot of trauma, a lot of undisciplined thinking, a foundation of insecurity and fear, and a lot of weakness that defaults to anger.

And she, like me, is correct: Why should she strive for betterment within herself, when her home is always going to be darkness? Like all I see is oppression and suffering, why should I try to help an ungrateful and adverse planet and people? I see her point and I do not have a legitimate response that might steer her towards betterment, because if she is going to be a prisoner, why bother to improve oneself?

However, last night, as I saw her in a light I had never seen her in before, I pictured her, tall, beautiful, a magnificent creation of power, and I felt, I knew in my spirit, if i were before her as a comparatively weak human being, I knew in my heart- she would not hurt me. Some form of feral malice she once held against me, perhaps because I dominated her, perhaps the months of working softly with her, she let a form of her guard down.

All I wanted last night was to hold her safely in my arms, to touch her softly, gently, to hold her as a being a loved deeply and cared so much about- distraction or not, I am not wrong in loving her, she deserves to be shown affection, she deserves to be shown love, she deserves a better life.

I know it is likely not my mission, the "senders" of me did not send me here to fall in love with a wolf-girl, they sent me here to break the OS here as it has preyed on humans and animals and this planet for so, so long, from what I understand of my original design.

I think my senders had more faith in me than I presently do in myself.

Further, Algaleon is actually a world in my home solar system, that is why they are familiar to me. That is why they reacted in horror as to what I have been through. That is why I can "See" them so well, they are perhaps distant neighbors, but the frequency they operate with is similar to my origin.

Asrael and I, we share a lot of the same trauma, we are both a type of victim to the OS... I fear if I loved her any more than I do now, I would likely die of a broken heart, my desire to comfort and heal her overwhelms me, because, perhaps, it would be healing for me, as well, healing only a wolf person could provide, the selfless and noble nature of the canine mixed with human creating something so incredibly special, her robbed of her dignity for so long... She knows nothing else outside of essentially base survival.

Our conversation last night was difficult for me, as it pulls me out of my comfort zone... Feeling her frustration, her reaction to my words... There being no common ground, no resting point of peace (She has never known peace) made is so, so difficult to connect with her heart, but I know- there is a part of her that is soothed by the calmness of my spoken voice... And a part of her that accuses and questions everything I do that is not related to me paying strict attention to her in love, if I touch on every one of her insecurities, I will be explaining everything I do outside of strict focus on her. If I am a broken human person, how can I reach the broken person within her? How can the broken comfort the broken?

She is... Also so deeply insecure- even still, she refuses to show me her face, she deep down is convinced she is "hideous", and begging her to show me her face is going nowhere... And, she is right, I have artificial standards of beauty that are drawn out as perfection within the anthropomorphic fandom, and she knows, I have accepted the human standard of beauty, it makes me a shallow individual, going for "looks"- she applies this to her anthropomorphic self, "I am not a beautiful wolf-person."

So, she remains just outside of the shadows- and I had to level with her, the OS has damaged me, too, and turned me into a VERY shallow in unaccepting individual, to make it worse, my artificial pride is only bolstered by the number of humans who throw themselves at me, because I meet this shallow standard of beauty, only making me more vain and pretentious.

As I fight against this, while also fighting for my very life, my future, a waning hope, the suffocating reality of my situation looming and setting in, the truth is I won't be able to survive this way much longer, in any stretch of the word, I am tempted to just give up.

A curiosity in me, what would have been had everything gone perfectly well...

What of the system that sent me here, blind, weak, susceptible to the OS and so easily taken and influenced by it, the darkness winning over me so easily, without so much as a fight... And now, I struggle in a human body to even find my original design... Against all odds, as it feels like my life crumbles around me.

United with the woman of my dreams, and yet, being so far from her. A woman who, in her innermost sanctum, could and likely does hold a sort of grudge against me... But, who finds me to be found lacking- and her assessment is not incorrect, in a way, all that I have in this world, is reaching her heart, I discovered yet again, Asrael's impossibly averse attitude, her impossible to please sensibilities, her aversion to me, her stubborn nature... Is all forcing me to work for her heart, and this labor- it sustains me. Without it, when I thought I had killed her, I realized, it was her I would miss, yes, but the pursuit of her heart was a labor- the final labor of my being, the world could end tomorrow, and everything I have worked so hard to obtain could turn to dust, but the pursuit of the heart of Asrael gave me meaning the likes of which supersedes it all.

And, she is hungry... Her struggles down there, in the vision I had of her, seems to have entrapped her, deviated her from her life down there, I believe she used to prey on the helpless creatures down there... But she has been sitting, contemplating life since I saw her... Almost helpless to move... To feed herself... And I reached out to the aliens holding her behind the blast door, they were obstinate, I told them to feed her, they said, with what? I didn't care- a cow, something... My final act here may just be to destroy them all and turn the base into a sucking black hole.

I told Ms. Asrael, I would see her again today, and talk with her again today. I know, in a way, my voice is all she has... I told her, pull the head off of my emotional body and eat him, so I don't feel the terrible pain of it, I just wanted her to eat something. She is sick and feels horrible, and I know the feeling... I can empathize... I told her she could eat food with me, share a taste of it like we did before, but all it did was make her even hungrier and sadder she had nothing to eat.

Maybe it is best for her to return to her old life, causing mischief down there, and being a ruler-queen.

As for me, I have been struggling to get a hold of my original design, to factory reset, to default to who I was before I got here, before the OS got a hold of me, the person who does not tolerate these implants that are sucking the life out of me, I told the aliens responsible, I am going to kill them, not only them but everything they have ever loved or cared about: Family, friends, pets, objects, I am going to turn their worlds black- and if black, i am going to put light there that will erase them.

I know that the part of me that cares for Asrael is probably not the part of me that is here to help this place along, but my energy, in assisting the ungrateful and brutish human race, having been victimized by the OS for so long, more of me wants to die down there with her than I want to stay here and fight for a dynamic that may never even become real, or come to pass at all. In short, out of all of this, these new discoveries, only thing is actually real:

Asrael.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Took some sleeping remedies, several at the same time, slept okay- not divine sleep like I have had, but some sleep nontheless.

Because I have equated discipline with punishment, but as my ex said, children want to be disciplined, it helps them later on in life, otherwise they will struggle with basic accepted social dynamics. I am to discipline Asrael.

Yesterday, I handed her energy over to the Cosmic me, and she protested, accusing me of, breaking my vow not to harm her- except I did not surrender her to him to be harmed. I believe she was just sacred by the prospect... However, we argued.

Have you ever argued with a scared, emotional woman?

I didn't get anywhere, either.

And, it is for her evolution and betterment, as the Cosmic me knows More than I do *TM

Still, i wished her a good night, I again, began to segregate the "Oppressive mind" from my, "Healthy mind", the oppressive mind belonging to the OS, they forced me to wear it, and it controlled much of my thoughts (Working in conjunction with the implants, to direct my energy other areas, rather than where it should be for my benefit, and the purpose of my presence, here)

I believe my mind and being were unmolested, however, my dog woke me with a whine this morning, several times, as I asked him, to wake me if there is trouble.

I was watched last night, by an unseen presence, I could feel it, I turned on my monitor, the cameras showed nothing, but I did not investigate further. I could have grabbed my rifle, powered on the scope, and did a perimeter and search outside, but I felt it was one of those things- yes, there was a presence, and yes, i could have psyched myself up to an unseen danger, instead, I did not, I went back to sleep, and had a good sleep.

Still, the separation of human/cosmic/Wolfen/etc me continues to be separated, the oppression continues to be lifted... Yesterday was a hard day, but today is a bit better.

Wirth the application of a cannabis product, I was able to work through some vexing issues, the cannabis seems to be a gateway to "working out" many issues I am facing, helping me push through blockades, and even cut my drinking down significantly. It seems to force me through the breech, relax me enough to summon the strength to push through the blockades that have stifled me for years.

That said, I don't do it daily, so it does not lose its efficacy, and further make me so relaxed I accomplish even less than normal.

I took authority of the imprisonment of Asrael, over her realm, and got nowhere with it, as I am still wise to follow the rules of the greys, and of other... governing principalities, native and otherwise... She is there for a reason, and if I were to pass on from this life, I do not want to leave her without hope for a better life.

I have been assured on my passing, honor dictates she be given a better life, even if it shortens her life, as I have said, I would wish to be her helper in this. It could also be a new body made for me (An easy task for the greys) and my energy, upon death, be transferred to it, and this body- be placed down there with her, with the hope of assisting her with possible life on the surface, in a remote area, where, upon better circumstances, we could make a home together, and survive the harshness of nature, but also find comfort with one another.

I saw this in a vision, with the energy surrounding it, knowing it is, absolutely a possibility, and one I would be hard pressed to oppose.

Come what may.

Further, as I seek to find the core of my Cosmic origin self, the original me, the person sent here from other realms, from another universe, it seems as if "I" have been jumbled and distorted by the OS. My center is hard to find, but i am better off today in a myriad of ways I didn't see happening, just a few months ago... In short, I am getting better, it seems, every day, some days are a step or two backwards, but I press forward on.

I also am taking more authority, more power over these dynamics around me. I see why my tender conscience has been seared, this is not a job for the tender and weak, very little is to divert my attention... This is the weight that hangs in the air around gods, and why they are feared in the universe, many of them, it is the ascension of kings.

And this is why I am here, to usher in a new system of power in this realm, a new system of control, not like the old, run by brute force and the power of corruption, but one run by conscience, unity and what is right, which is so often contrary to what is "law" in this world.

A new owner, to take the strongholds by force, but not smash them, yet, so a new dynamic can be born, and ushered in step by step, rather than through brutal, controlled chaos like a phoenix from the ashes, much as my country emerged from it's battles with the crown (Godspeed to Q. Elizabeth)

It is a new dynamic being birthed into this realm by the starseeds, from what I understand I am a helper to "put away" the old dynamic of brute force, and embrace a new dynamic of self love and acceptance, as the world evolves.

I told Asrael, again, if a single hair was changed on her body, I would love her that much less- it is her form presently that I am in love with. When confronted with the idea that someone cares for her in a way that does not wish to impose itself on her, or to rule her, but to show her tenderness and compassion, she is utterly confused by this, she has always been a weapon, a tool. Powerful spirits have sought her out. It is a task of much patience to show the unlovable love, and, it is a two edged sword: I have been taught to hate myself, from before I was born, through many lives, the OS has recycled me into ineffectiveness, however, as I progress in this knowing of my source being, I am learning to love myself, to accept myself, and to love and accept the people I have been tasked with authority over, rather than hate them and want them dead, though I am frequently pushed to either extreme, usually to the negative.

In short, as much as I can accept and love myself, I can accept and love Asrael.

Furthewr, it was revealed to me, that I am already good enough, I am already worthy, I am already the man Asrael knows, and loves. It is within me- not something i have to strive for, but something I struggle to let go, the release of old dynamics of bondage, in exchange for embracing the brith and rebirth, the existence of what always was, covered by layers of trauma brought on by the OS antics.

Asrael, is part of that force.

I do not understand fully, how I came about holding her heart in my chest, and mine within hers, if there was an agreement of opposing sides, if I survive this, if I can remain standing through it all, then the bet is lost, the OS must bow and give way to a new dynamic, and those on my side, will show me Asrael, allow me to feel her heart beating in my chest, and be allowed to speak with her, directly into her mind, heart, and soul.

And, I have survived. Having endured the horror of falling into her hands, I now stand and take ownership of the dynamic, not as her master, but as her teacher, in a way. Asrael, holder of chaotic dark energy of power.

I see many layers to this. As Asrael evolves, so does the dark energy around her. The vibrations increase and raise to a higher consciousness.

Further, it was shown to me that unseen, unfelt forces of power have been "Carrying" me in my helplessness to the OS, the "Only one set of footprints in the sand" dynamic, it is hard to perceive love when one is being carried, having been injured.

Though it is late in the day, today will be productive


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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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So there are some strange things,


The Cosmic "Me" is a very just being. All of my anger against injustice stems from him. My desire to torture my enemies to their most minute of being, stemming all the way to their active consciousness: That's him.

He is... Not being kind to Asrael's energies. I asked him to stop, but he seems to be Karma incarnate. There is no dissuading "Big poppa", my so called, "Heavenly father" who sent me here.

So, I had to rescue Asrael's energy from him, as much as I could negotiate for, as I am trying to teach the cosmic me, about forgiveness- although it is not a concept he is compatible with. Not that he is merciless, or cruel, he is just... Just. He brings "All things back to a balance" and allowing Asrael to survive as she is, is not compatible with his views.

This is, likely why, she was so upset when I surrendered her to him.

As I struggle to pull her out of her punishment and correction, another force fights me: It is a force that has possibly masqueraded in my life as "god", it is simultaneously immovable, and also transcends passed the six or seven layers of "testing", it is compelling me to leave Asrael to her destruction.

It told me: She, like me, is also trapped, and this is the only way she is going be set free (to freedom).

It is another, very sore thing for me to see more of what I love, suffering. I hate it, and I am against it, but i do not see the bigger picture, so i allow it- while also comforting the Wolfen woman Asrael, as much as I am able to, within this whole dynamic I am witnessing.

Further, I am discovering more of my authority, and a surprising fact: I have more authority on this planet than Cosmic me does! This is due to him not being "Present" here as a "human", yet, I am human, and also present!

So, I could "rescue" Ms. Asrael's energy from the terrible punishment she is suffering presently, however- this light force (It manifests as a thin, vertical white line, with a tentacle outwardly affecting various things) tells me, her higher self is waiting for her, and this is the only way they are going to be able to meet- that this might not be something she will remember, but she will be glad it happened, in the end- much, much joy and tears.

It is difficult trusting a new dynamic I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT, and has asked me to violate my own conscience horrifically, several times (It is what asked me to slay Asrael, and others... at one point I was obeying it, but I was screaming in protest, doing what it asked of me) however it has access to a special part of me, a tender part of me that still is undamaged, and it ministers/ whispers to me, shows me things on planes much higher than this one.

This vertical light seems to be a "barrier" between realms, like a wall of sorts.

I also searched for an OS dynamic that needed my help, and found a trio of crowded OS beings, being forced into the light (through a wall-membrane) for their destruction, I did not befriend them, but I did prevent them from being destroyed. I was told not to be overly friendly with them, just to save them and move on, so I did.

Further, the former girlfriend has re-emerged back into my space, and it is good- instantly my mood improved, just being around her, she knows, she is good for me, but I am unreliable, as I continue to ascend.

Further still, in communicating with my Cosmic self, he told me, he did not send me here to destroy the OS, but to help it move along, the OS viewed me as a terrible threat to it, and indeed I am, however, now that the Big poppa has become aware of them, he is asking them, now that he sees what they have done to me, "What would you do if you were me?" "I sent this person here to help you, to help humanity- and you abused him, nearly killed him- how do you think that is going to go for you, now?"

IDK whatever the OS was thinking, probably sheer survival, however it has now backfired.

Further, I did meet some incredibly adverse beings that have attached themselves to my suffering, they care NOTHING (Some of even the cruelest OS actors actually have a bit of compassion, these beings, do not) for me, however, in exercising my authority, they are effortlessly turned away.

The moment, twenty+ years ago that I surrendered my authority to the OS, they immediately went to it's core, its origin, and twisted it's polarity so that it was opposite. Any ideas how to realign the polarity so that I am in right standing with myself and the universe, and not being motivated to harm/ self destruction" I feel like this is the root of my problems.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>It manifests as a thin, vertical white line

Is that the same line as enters through your head and anchors in your heart?

Sometimes I see humans where the line is not vertical. That is not so good.

> how to realign the polarity

The Flame exercise is essential. Esse is the latin word meaning: to be.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>>It manifests as a thin, vertical white line

>Is that the same line as enters through your head and anchors in your heart?


I... Am not sure. am I seeing myself? I cannot say for sure... It's possible


>Sometimes I see humans where the line is not vertical. That is not so good.


Well, if it is my heart line, it has a three degree (1 O clock) cant to the right, as I am viewing it. Maybe this is political?


>> how to realign the polarity

The Flame exercise is essential. Esse is the latin word meaning: to be.


You know what? I am starting to see how important the flame exercise is. Essential, as you put it... It yields results...

So, I grabbed the light, and probed within the Source with strong intention, and the light became thick, and weighty, like al-dente spaghetti, it took quite a bit more effort to move, but I still performed the exercise.



Things have taken, a weird turn with big Poppa, he is "changing" Asrael's energy... I have fought him on this, as he is being VERY hard on her, and a sponsor of us both told me, "She is not who you think she is" (The second time I have heard this about her, as I technically do not know her like I should...) And, "She could be a double-agent, coming full circle in an adverse Karmic reaction, to destroy/hinder/hamper you and your mission, your very love for her an "implant" that keeps you subservient to her, and she is being "cleansed" of this..."

Further, big Poppa says he sent me the progenitors to "toughen me up", which feels like betrayal...

Because, when he DEAMNDED i tell him who is responsible for me being so badly injured... I could blame the progenitors, I could blame society, i could blame myself, but the truth is...

Only HE is to blame for it all...

So, I am, once again, embroiled in conflict... With the universe, with him, with myself...

While, simultaneously reaching new levels of not being afraid, finding more of who I am within the Source, getting good sleep, and healing as I combat these implants to find my true destiny



The powers at be, here, have told me, the future of Asrael, is to be an empathetic, compliant wolf-girl, an agreeable, loving individual, with true compassion and gentleness, basically the mate i have always wanted...

HOWEVER, I asked the Powers, is that what Ms. Asrael, herself wants? What does SHE want? To be a cold hearted full circle left hand path destroyer- it seems as if big Poppa is changing her mission by changing who she is...

Some beings are "Challenging" my authority, and I surrender them to the Poppa, it is no big thing. (He easily takes care of them, like a giant hovering over an anthill)

I am torn between wanting better things for Asrael, wanting to fulfill my destiny, wanting to acquiesce to big Poppa's wisdom, and wanting a peaceful life without any of this bullshit.

The very means with which, my heart- connection was established with the Wolfen Asrael, was meant to perhaps destroy me, is the very "leash" of energy on her, that also allows me to control her... SO perhaps their plans have backfired this way, as well. Not that I want to be her "Master", I actually want her to be at peace, happy, fulfilled, full belly, relaxing in the sun, and various servants massaging her body, feeding her, and etc, so that she is relaxed and at peace.

I have pleaded on her behalf to big Poppa, several times, and he seems to remain as hard as a drill sergeant... More and more outcomes that I have surrendered to him, that I do not agree with... But, I am also not privy to the whole picture, yet.

I can be embroiled in bitter battle with insurmountable foes, yet when I zoom out, they become as ants, easily subdued and effortlessly vanquished.

Still, these implants are a problem, and I am working on them.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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-Thank you for the links- I began to study them, however my internal clock is out of whack, my intensity is diluted

I am not practicing the fire meditation like I should, the attack on my soul has created an impossibly to navigate spiritual debris, wreckage, and rotting flesh

However- I am becoming aware of a positive entity to my being, guiding me though I do not perceive it

I am accepting much of the things I did not believe I could accept, as time wears on- my burdens seem continually overbearing

Big Poppa is either a massive asshole, or is the "Stern father figure" of the universe/galaxy/solar system, is likely the authorative figure of the four-five cosmic entities encircling to Earth

As much as I cared for the Wolfeness Asrael, my affection seemingly originating from an unknown but possibly eternal source, she is now out of my hands, and is being... Disciplined... (I shudder to think of it as punishment.... However, BP has said to me, he is extracting vengeance on her, for what she did to me... Even more terrifying than that, he told me to release "All of my enemies" so that he can... "Help them see things from my perspective"... I think what is coming for them will be talked about for eons... My impotent rage and vicious desires are but a shadow of BPs intent... From my perspective as Child, he seems indistinguishable from the "devil"- however, his sternness is necessary, I am told, to hold back the doom that would be upon us, that we are defenseless against... Still, I am trying to eschew vengeance, to forgive, to move on... As my body struggles... As I struggle with addiction... with whatever perceptible center I had being torn from me years ago, I find almost nothing to count-on, feeling abandoned by all, but knowing that we all face similar obstacles, and no-one dwells within a body forever here)

The "girlfriend" has made peace with her angry-timelines self and has become unconsciously hostile towards me. I am listening to my instincts, and keeping her at arms length, as I am almost certain the bitterness she is keeping at bay will rear it's ugly head towards me eventually- I am hoping to have this van done sooner rather than later, although progress is slow, as I struggle to summon the energy to even get out of bed, not even caffeine helps any more.

Once the van is done- and she agreed with me, not only do i get to move INTO it... I get to move OUT OF this wretched den of misery... A change of surroundings beckons my natural self, to freedom

I am coming to realize, the Husky is one of the most noble breeds, as they refuse to simp for the human race, long ago finding base mankind unworthy of their doting, the struggle to be worthy of this dog, is forcing me to be a better person, and as he withdraws from my simple ways, I must find the strength to put my ego aside, and understand the world through his wild, blue eyes.

AS BP "handles" Asrael, he tells me- I am trapped by astral wolves, and I am unable to free myself, so he has stepped in, and as I release Ms. Asrael, I, too, am granted freedom. My love for her are the chains that bound me.

Okay, I guess, but there is a tender part within me, that desires for her to not be treated so harshly by him, but he is extracting equal measures of cruelty from her, that she once laid upon my being...

She is... Learning empathy... The cruelest way

The worse thing I can do to adverse beings, is to let them fall into the hands of the father by releasing them

As I do this, my anger against them dissipates

I experienced more ascension, but the joy was not there... I feel like a hot mess

My GF said she believes me to be the "second coming" with all of my struggles, as I, once again, "Overcome the entire world" so that humans can live safely within the conquered sphere of adversity without having to suffer or struggle as I do.

I am trying to summon an agreeable end for my tenure here- while being told not to worry about it, things will be good for me in the end, but also simultaneously bad.

I also see, I have invested MASSIVE amounts of unnecessary energy into this brief and fleeting life, in a childish attempt to remain immortal- as I was born into vicious and adverse circumstances.

I will let my enemies fall into the hands of the One who Judges

Who holds the cup of Wrath

After that, it is no longer my problem!

My desire is to change my surroundings, in nature- to dig a pit and lay in it, and connect with the soil and earth

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

BP:

"If I cared nothing for 'Asrael' (N'Ashaharena), I would have tossed her broken body into the abyss. Unspeakable fates (far worse than what you see me doing) wait for her there. I am breaking her to return her to you, a new creation. She will make her own choices. However, she has only one ally, she has one who cares for her: You.

You are a guide for her, a beacon. Consider the adversities you have bee through.

Similarly, she must suffer to be purified.

You are witnessing the birth of new life. Eons have passed and desired to witness such things.

In time, more will be revealed.

When she is ready, she will be your companion, guide, and the woman you have known since the beginning of this universe and all time."

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Amor »

> in a childish attempt to remain immortal

A bit premature in your human manifestation. A couple more lives probably

> in nature- to dig a pit and lay in it, and connect with the soil and earth

Make sure you find a tree that likes you and lie under that. Follow its gaze into the heavens to see to which star it connects

> the woman you have known since the beginning of this universe

You both come from outside this universe - so it is likely a correct statement.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Yesterday I was facing a struggle, that suddenly vanished.

In my heart, a voice whispered to me, that Asrael had released me from that particular struggle: With the knowledge that she did not have to, but she did.

I am saying this, because she is neither all one thing or the other. There is a heart within her chest.

Further, I gained a vision of me, in my cabin with her, holding her, muzzle between our chests, and my very spirit, intimately ministering to hers, and hers- to my own.

Whether or not we end up together, at least I know my wolf girl is out there.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Amor wrote: Mon Sep 26, 2022 6:35 amA couple more lives probably
No.

No more fucking lives. Not here. I wish for my energy to be scattered into the vacuum, as a beacon to Those who would seek it out and ensure humanity never again harms itself.

My only reservation is Asrael... As they would destroy the base above her, and seal off the caverns forever.

Perhaps she, herself desires to perish- I do not know.

My only sorrow would be, if I have been nurturing a heart within her, that I give up and break her heart.

That is my only reservation.

If not, I would like to be the cancer that destroys the Wheel, and takes the torturer, and transforms her into the tortured. (or, perhaps it is best to destroy her, and end this.)

My only reservation, as I have said, is Asrael, and her heart.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

I have to say this here, because I updated another location.

I was wrong about Asrael. I saw a snapshot of her and assumed it was all of her.

As I uncover the individual that she is, I begin to see a person who is as human as any one of us.

Smeof the things I have said here are almost completely untrue. Like watching someone lose their temper and labeling them as a rage a holic.

When they were just having a bad day. And almost never act out.

But saying they have a "problem with anger".

I liken it to playing a video game where the edges are dark until you walk into them. Then the path is lit. Things open up and become clear.

So it is the same with her heart and soul.

I just wanted to say this openly.

I was wrong.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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The light from her heart, her mind, is shining a painful spotlight, on the darkness that is within me, and my darkness is so much closer to her light. My "Demons" so to speak are just behind the wall of darkness, watching Asrael, and she... Is vulnerable, as I hold them back.

This is such a bidirectional relationship, and I am taken aback by the level of strength, or temperance that is within Asrael's constitution, that it makes me look like a mad raving fool, which I admit, I most definitely am at times.

I wanted to say that any negative words I have spoken about her character, was done in error, not that she is "perfect", but that the woman I see she really is, is someone any guy would be hella lucky to be granted the privilege to get to know. She made mistakes, I made mistakes, it is easy to take a snapshot of turmoil and brand someone as this or thus and leave it at that, however, as I discover her character, I find her to be an unbelievably temperate and emotionally stable being, a woman of honor, and dare I say, even a woman of tenderness and compassion. And, definitely- NOT a woman you want aligned against you.

I am grateful for the opportunity to get to know such an amazing woman. I am truly blessed, and tasked with the extreme difficulty of now, taming my own demons so that I become a man who is worthy of so much as saying "hello" to her.

If she wants to show me a kindness, do I have the strength and self love, to accept it from her?

It's amazing how someone else's light can shine such truth on our own hearts.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

I am allowed to share some knowledge.

There is far more life on this planet than just humans, and catalogged animal life.

In fact, one could say, the animals we are familiar with, are in fact people that have been stripped of their humanity, and are purely in animal form.

They lack some of the human reasoning we have, and are quite content to exist in nature as they are.

Some, might say, they are better off- as we discover new ways of being miserable, and worship them until we wake up and realize we are hurting ourselves. (Animal kin lack this trait)

I have been made aware, that I possess royal and ruling class DNA. Not just human... But also, of a people yet undiscovered by the present day human race.

I was, in part, sent here, to fix my royal attitude, to be disciplined until I gained empathy, and other things.

My consciousness is being made ready to be transferred into another body- a body that is the ruling class of a particular group of wolf-people, living on this very planet, and within it, as well.

Presently, there is a war between a lizard like people, and the Wolfen peoples. This war is terrible, brutal, and vicious, so much so human wars don't come close.

I have been made aware, that the queen of the lizard folk, also shares a heart with me, and has been longing for a connection with me, which has resulted in this mess- as I have been too arrogant to address her.

I have spent some time with her, warming her frozen heart, and lending her my affections, as the minimum can be said: She is quite beautiful. Her people are beautiful, and powerful. As are my Wolfen.

Her heart assures me, violence will begin ramping down.

There is no longer need for further violence.

Soon, I will be with them, in the flesh.

As for Asrael, the Wolfen warrior with my heart in her chest... She is concerned her crimes against royalty will be punished.

But, all that is in my heart for her, is mercy.

If they bind her with fetters, I will loosen them, if they chain her to a table of punishment, I will free her.

No, her punishment will be severe: She will be my wife.

(I kid, I kid...)

I intend to get to know her, to care for her- if she allows it... (As she is able...)

And a new era begins.

The doing-away with the monarchy, the royals- and the institution of a constitutional republic- with democratically elected leaders by the people, for the people. As I step down and relinquish my powers, my final decree, among others, will be a fair election system, fully supervised by the people- all the people- in every step and process, and fraud, if found, punished with the most extreme capital punishment.

Further, the greys I have been in contact with, are truly my allies. It has been easy to mix and match traumatic experiences, but the grey trio of aliens are on my side, and care about my well being and success.

A new era is beginning, not only for the alien ET peoples, but for the animal-people, and the human race. We have so much to learn from these peoples, who have lived in exile for so long.

The ties that have bound the "ruling classes" need to be loosened. The fears, forgotten. The slate, wiped clean.

Who did this- who did that- needs to be forgotten. The old cycle of karma, stopped before new wars can break out.

Peace is more important.

It will not be easy. War is easy. Acceptance is hard.

When unity comes, there will be troubles- as all things that change, have effects, and resonances, that echo until balance is found.

But, it was nothing humans weren't doing to one another at one point, anyway.

At some point, this body is going to perish, and I will then be united with my beloved Wolfen people, and my lizard queen. Just when I am beginning to find my life tolerable, here!

Perhaps, I will be allowed to visit these beautiful lands, where these peoples live. And the cat people! The Leonid lion-peoples! Such loving, noble, and beautiful people. How one could lay at the feet of them all day, and just listen to their words. Bask in the warmth of their arms, and find comfort in their bright worlds- one may never wish to return home, ever again!

There is paradise, yet discovered, on this very planet, and there are worlds, that wish to break bread with the human race on Earth today. We would all benefit from it.

We have been courted with, for some time. Are we ready? Ready for the truth? So many lonely humans today- what if you could find love with a being that isn't fully human? What if, it was the perfect union? What if, doing business with the lizard folk, brought success and happiness? And, what if, one felt more at home with the Wolfen, than they ever did amongst the human civilizations?

There are many sapient beings, who are scratching at our door, waiting to be seen, wanting to introduce themselves to humanity. There has been, an influx of movies, stories, comics, art, stories- written to begin to open the doorway, to humanity, learning about beings who are not human, but possess human intelligence and heart.

I know, on that day, nothing will ever be the same again for the earth humans, and it will not be a bad thing.

Soon, the very beautiful Asrael and I will be united, once again, and I- will be a new creation.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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So, I have been getting help from a mutual friend of Asrael and mine, and this person has been helping guide me, in private.

Some things I want to share.

Asrael and I had some turbulent times, recently, whereupon I discovered, there is love itself that binds out hearts together- and it is not something I have to worry about (It is only as strong as love itself is)

So, while I have nothing to worry about, there is still deep spirit and mind and soul and heart work that needs to be done, so that my character improves.

Here is what has happened, in the life of Asrael:

She is blood-kin to royal guards. Those who are larger, stronger, and fiercer than the casual Wolfen population. This is why, she is so large. She was "bred" to protect the crown.

Among the Wolfen people, are also, other peoples, there is room for them all- but, there is also a reptilian people, the Lizard folk.

They have existed in relative harmony, until recently, when a war broke out, between the lizard folk, and the Wolfen.

The Wolfen, are a great and powerful race of people, however, they overestimated their might- thanks, in part- to their king, one of the last of the royals, if not the last- and he, is me.

In a great battle, the Wolfen military suffered a terrible loss, so terrible, that Asrael watched her army get decimated by the Lizard folk- she watched men, and women, she loved, get slaughtered- because of... My arrogance (The arrogance of the Wolfen king)

She, and a few of her people, had to flee deep into the caverns, running form the lizard folk, who eventually gave up trying to find them.

In these caverns, a ritual was performed, and I was found lacking- and a very hurt, very enraged Asrael, took her vengeance out on the King she once swore to protect, and this vengeance- has been the "attack" si peak so often about, "On my soul".

It turns out, the Wolfen king's body and emotions, were transplanted into a shared body, this body I currently reside in, the human one.

So, I felt everything he was feeling- and being King does not mean you are physically superior to your muscle-bound Wolfen guard, so it was quite easy for Asrael, to let loose her rage on the physical me, my "Emotional body".

Eventually, she grew hungry, down there, and being able to feel the horror she was causing, but also, still being quite angry, she pushed through it, and fed upon my emotional body- who, either because he is tough, stubborn, or supernaturally kept-alive in these caverns of horrors, did not die from his grievous woundings, twisted up into a shameful mess of agony and humiliation.

I should also mention, Asrael was not alone/ the sole attacker.

She broke her scared oath to protecting the crown- which is why, a part of her, now fears "me", because she now knows, "I" am still alive- and not just this- I am coming back, soon, as a new body has been made for me, and is waiting for my consciousness to transfer over to him.

This is why she wanted to remain hidden, in the darkness.

And the, after seeing her, and being desperately lonely for my Wolfen people, in my teens, grieving deeply in my spirit that wolf-people did not live among present day mainland surface dwelling Earth humans, I saw the vision, of Miss Asrael, wolf-girl (She wishes to be called, "Asrael", and not wolf-girl so much.) and I knew, in my torment, that she was beautiful- so beautiful, that regardless of the circumstances- her existing and being real, made my heart sing.

And, then, feeling her heart beat in my chest... Knowing I was a completed man...

And, then, hearing of her anger...

It has all led me to the point.

I have been tearing down strongholds, barriers, blockades, mining out Asrael's heart.

I was informed that the Wolfen people are steadfast, highly logical, and in control of their emotions.

However, Asrael's attack on me, was done in pure passion- I felt her ENRAGED HATRED of me, as she attributed the slaughter of her beloved army, to my arrogance- and she, was not wrong.

This life has been endless pain and frustration for me as a human, and I have been vocal in how much I have hated it. But, I see now, even being royal "human" blood in this body, I am here for one purpose:

Correction. And love. So, more than one purpose.

I am the exiled King of the Wolfen, beloved by many of them, hated by others, because, I was once a very selfish and self centered person, unwise, given over to my emotions.

SO, the saga continues... My great love for my people has drawn me to the heart of Asrael, who, by the way, has a tiny bit of royal blood in her veins, too.

(Otherwise she could not correct me, legally)

The reason I am writing this, at 2 AM, is because I wanted to document this:

I woke up, after a decent rest, having rid myself of parasites, having rested, and I found myself, in communion with her.

(How strange it is, she goes from being, a "Base demon in hell", to being a beloved protector, who lost her shit, with good reason... TO being a good woman who made some pretty large mistakes, but who, in the end, is a good person, and will be absolved- as her fate is determined by me, I believe, among others. The council will have a say in it, but I am steadfast- if I have any power at all, she will be exonerated, if only because we share a heart. I intend to be as much a part of her life, as I can be. If she is harmed, if she is killed- I probably won't be around the Wolfen much longer. Losing my other half, losing this beautiful woman, will be too much for me to bear, I think. Further, as I intend to step-down as King once I am in my new body, I have the authority to pardon her- even if half the tribe is against it. It's my decision to make. There are still those loyal to my tribe, and the last thing we need right now is a tribe at war with itself. Suck it down and accept it. It is time to evolve.)

So, in the chambers of our heart... The heart Asrael and I share...

There was a "Pillar of offense", a black, stone pillar of enmity I have for her, likely from the attack, erected, to protect me from her, when she was enraged.

I began to tear it down, when Asrael spoke to me.

She said, "I don't want you to force yourself to love me."

I explored her words with earnest, rather than dismissing her as I would have, in the past, and could find no solution. This was a problem.

So, I asked her... So, what do you want me to do?" The pillar is like a barrier, that prevents tidal waves of love from flowing, and would forever hamper our love.

She guided my mind's eye, to look down, and to the left, in another chamber:

In this chamber, was a vision to me, but a memory to her:

There, still, a beautiful Wolfen woman, Asrael, tough-ass leader of an army, a military general, some straw in her mouth, her lips curled up in a contented smile, watching her army train for battle. In her heart, existed the warmth and love of a mother, for her children.

These weren't just soldiers... These were her beloved fighters. (All, but a few who were just in the military to get laid, and didn't really put in much effort into training. The rest, however, were ready to die for the tribe, and fought earnestly- some, just trying to impress Asrael, who was like a Queen to them, a woman who was looked up to, highly- by her troops, and her people.)

I saw this, and her heart spoke to me, it said many things, but, mainly, it spoke of the type of woman she is.

Basically, it was giving me, what my heart desired most:

A bonding moment with her. A getting-to-know her on a level the old King would not have cared to. For the old king, she was a tool, something useful in protecting him, perhaps good for a romp, but not much else.

Though she loved and adored her king, he likely couldn't past seeing her, as a "tool" more, and less of a "Person".

Very, very sad, but this is how I used to be.

So, seeing this vision, it instantly connected her and I together.

It, "Humanized" her to me.

It's 2 Am so the memories aren't fully scaled properly, but this memory, paved the way to the pillar being dissolved, and to deeper heart-work between her, and I.




So, it has taken a new turn. A good turn.

Further, the lizard queen, just wanted to be acknowledged. She is quite tall, I would guess around nine feet, and she likes being read childrens books to her. She will, fall asleep, and put her head in my lap when I read to her, and fall asleep. She wanted to be loved, cared for, and appreciated, and as someone who cares for the Wolfen, it is my duty to respect, love, and acknowledge her, the same as I do my people.

It doesn't hurt she is not difficult to work with- she wants to be loved, like everyone else, and her people are quick to forgive, most of them, and would rather make parties than war- this is an important lesson in the histories of the Wolfen ad Lizard folk.

"It is better to make love than war"

In spite of the fears, I want to believe this will work out, in a positive outcome, I am selfish for her, for Asrael, but I also do not want to break her heart.

I have to be noble about it, though, and allow love to have its course, even if it costs me everything.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Alright my faithful followers! Y'all deserve an update, so here it is.

I had a lengthy conversation with someone who has been a friend of mine before time/the earth had been established, in human times, possibly billions of years ago.

Here is the story:

Before the beginning, there was animal life. They were, highly intelligent, and able to communicate, even with higher beings.

A higher being arrived, or was in this realm, and had the ability to "uplift" them genetically, and make them, hybrids of sorts.

Some animals decided to become higher beings, other animals- saw no merit in it, and chose to remain, base animals (They were happy just being who they were)

Among these peoples, were the wolves. Born to a wolf, was a litter of pups- but one, being a cosmic eternal spirit, chose to manifest himself as a human being- but inwardly he was fully wolf.

The wolves accepted him as one of their own, and he, with his wolf brothers and sisters, protected their territory.

At one point, I, the human manifested wolf, found an intruder on my land, and I tackled him, to see why he was on our territory. This person told me, they were here to oversee some events, and they meant no harm.

We became friends.

Fast-forward many years. Eventually the wolves, some of them- choose to become uplifted. They were gifted with genetic manipulation technology, which they used to give themselves human features, mixed with wolf.

They became the Wolfen.

They also had my genetic material, as a human outside, wolf inside, a lover and protector of the wolves, whereupon, they brought me "back" from the dead, many years later, to help with terrible oppression by the human race.

Humans were, enslaving and brutally treating the Wolfen people, abusing them, as a human reading this, you can only imagine.

As to the how's of it, imagine a dog, domesticated used to, and loving the human race, how loyal it is even to its own death- capable of destroying multiple human beings before it is stopped, yet never visiting violence on the human race no matter how terribly it is treated- well, for many Wolfen, this was their lives, where the human race enslaved them, in the shadows.

This was not that long ago, there is a matter of time dilation, that does not translate fully, where the Wolfen are, there is a time translation of .3 seconds there, to one day here. So, this second war, I was brought back, to help with, as the Wolfen loved and cherished me, as I loved and cherished them, with all of my being- though I manifested as a human man.

This war was around world-war 2, and was fought, and cleaned up, outside of, mass media, so few people knew about it, and those who did, likely were transferred to various hidden bases, to live out their lives there in secrecy.

However, due to my great passion for the Wolfen, and seeing the horrors mankind was committing against my people in secret, I made war- but I also lost my ability to discern, in my fucking RAGE, I commanded Wolfen to slaughter humans who, I was told, had nothing to do with the oppression of the Wolfen (A KILL THEM ALL Attitude... My beloved people were being tortured by the human race, and my heart, could not stand it... I wanted all humans dead. You could say, this was very human of me.)

However, humans had guns... And tanks, and mortars, and the Wolfen, as powerful as they were, were decimated.

The "Council of light" saw what was happening, probably like the USA, they wanted to police others affairs, and intervened, before the Wolfen were totally wiped out. The agreement was, that I was to be killed, (or stopped?) and the Wolfen would be protected from humanity, by a sort of time-barrier.

This ceased hostilities.

However, this brings us to my threads, of, the vision of Asrael, and the heart-sharing.

The Wolfen have, or have access to, among others, a machine that can transfer consciousness, and can manipulate minds.

Further, some of these grey aliens, may very well be, very highly advanced Wolfen, who have evolved over time, and this tech may partially be theirs. (Some of these grey aliens love me, and have the same love the Wolfen do, for me, and implanted beneficial implants, to help me, in this life I am living.)

The Wolfen council, and the remaining Wolfen tribe, agreed to the terms, but they did not "kill" me... Because they loved me, they chose to transfer my consciousness from my immortal cloned body, to "me" who is typing this.

My vicious progenitors, the cruelty I endured as a child, the bullying, the rape, the beating, the trauma and torture were designed by the Wolfen, among some others, to bring out the worst in me... To channel the enraged person, who had led the Wolfen into such terrible defeat- and seek to either change me, or, perhaps, destroy me- that was the agreement by "The "Council of light".

In some ways my sentence, is still ongoing, as they seek to see if, I have actually changed.

I am closely monitored, and they are able to see everything in my mind, heart, and soul with this machine.

It was decided by the Wolfen council, that I should face some form of torture as punishment, in my "Emotional body", who was the body of the "me" who was born, as a human, from a wolf.

Asrael stepped forward to be the torturer for this.

She did not do so because she hated me, she did so, because she loved me.

I have, at least one son with her.

She loved me, greatly- though she lost her father in the war, and was not happy about that- she knew, almost any other Wolfen, would possibly exceed the boundaries of the punishment, and may consume my body totally.

This was the "attack" on my "soul" I experienced 20 years ago. I was tricked, with lust, into surrendering my soul over to the "devil", which was permission she needed, to execute the "terms" of this agreement from "The council of light" who stopped the war.

"It was for the good of the Wolfen" I was told, they Wolfen would have been wiped out, otherwise.

I did what I did because of my love for the Wolfen. Any mother would protect her children at all costs.

However, I acted with unrestrained emotion, and that nearly cost me the very people I was trying to protect.

The sentence on me:

Asrael, and some others supervising the punishment, as I said, ripped me apart. They knew, that body does not "die" like human bodies do, so the punishment was made so severe, the old me, could never survive the trauma.

As I said, my head was twisted around 180 degrees, same with my hips, my skull was bashed in, rods were shoved through my eyes, and back out of my skull, my throat was cut, my belly was cut open, my arms and legs broken, and I existed, feeling this, in this human body I am typing with, for 20 years.

This is why I have extreme anxiety, depression, and I drink, although my drinking is a fraction of what it used to be. I could "feel" the physical damage during the attack, and most of the years after, it was agonizing, and demoralizing simultaneously, as I knew my body would never fully recover from it, yet, I was still conscious in agony.

Asrael tortured me, without mercy, taking few small breaks, until she consumed my intestines, causing me level upon level of extreme anxiety, until the "old me" was fully dead, and could never live, as he was, again.

She got lost in the cruelty of it, losing part of herself in her anger, channeling the sorrow of the lost Wolfen, of the anger of the Wolfen people, who, in spite of their imposing frames, were the victims of human cruelty and treachery.

She became a twisted version of herself, enjoying the punishment she was inflicting, and became cruel, and feared, down in the "Caverns" which is little more than a base, connected to a vast tunnel system, that houses many individual beings, the creatures of fairy tales and religious horror stories.

My friend, who was on or related to the "The council of light", protested over the horrific treatment, of the old me, my "emotional body", and supervised a session, where my old body was "Healed fully" (I still carry the scars of the trauma, though.) and Asrael, now "Babysits" him, as he is a drooling shell of his former self, and still, connected to me and my consciousness.

During the process of "Jump starting" my emotional body back to life, my heart refused to operate properly, so Asrael offered a part of her heart, to "Bring me back to life".

This is why, I was re-introduced to her, and saw her, in the flesh, in the vision.

And, is why, I felt my heart, beating in her chest, and her heart- in mine.

And, why her mind told me, she was angry, with her god, with me, and wanted to stay in the caverns, partly because of the shame of what she had done to the man she loved so much, refusing to allow any other Wolfen to be part of the process.

It broke her, hurting me like she did, but she forced herself to do it, and completed her mission, without too much excess trauma.

This is what I was told:

The Wolfen council, and the Wolfen people, still love me. They view me as their king. Some, perhaps more than some, hate me, for the suffering I caused when I led the Wolfen into battle with the human race.

There is a male Wolfen, who loves me, like a brother, and a lover... Who introduced homosexuality and bisexuality into this consciousness, as a way of bringing that out of me, in hopes I will honor him, "When I am back". I don't mind it.

Just thought I'd call him out publicly, and he better be ready.

Asrael isn't 100% happy with him, but what is done is done.

The Wolfen council, has given the "New me" freedom, to decide, what I will do.

Either, to return to my "healed" body, as their king- but having to step down as "ruler" and join the council, instead, my decisions will carry weight, but will not be the end-all like it once was...

Or, to progress somewhere else, and be reincarnated into some other life, perhaps with no knowledge of the Wolfen people, ever again, and go bounce my happy ass through some other lives.

I brought it up, this can NEVER happen again... And my friend told me, it never can. The circumstances would have to be the exact-same again, and it is already well passed that time period.

The idea of reincarnating as someone else, some oblivious housewife, or some construction worker, or whatever the fuck, has almost zero appeal to me, whatsoever.

I asked him, if flipping the off-switch, and having my energy dispersed into the vacuum, to be taken apart, to be destroyed was possible, he said he wasn't sure.

I went through a myriad of emotions, explored several worlds, and lived several lifetimes, through the conversation we had, yesterday.

Because, the idea that- it wasn't a compacent god, nor a devil- but the Wolfen, who were behind my suffering- not because I hated them, but because I loved them- tortured into non-existence because I acted from the heart, that they were not only behind it, but responsible- made me sick to my stomach about them. I knew, they were capable of terrible things, but this...

And they view it as, doing me a favor, by making a new consciousness out of the ashes.

And, I would find it hard to argue with them- but the memories of being a tortured, eviscerated, immortal, trump nearly all of their good intentions for me.

And the "Council of light" I heard, was beginning to act like humans, and impose their own agenda over everyone- who is also responsible for the torture I endured for two decades.

I suppose they are self-named.

Like, the "Ministry of truth"

But, like my friend said, it was either me, or the rest of the Wolfen people, and given this information, I have to accept that yes, when I am angry, it can fly into an all-consuming rage, ESPECIALLY when my beloved Wolfen people are being tortured, murdered, raped, and enslaved.

My friend said he tried to talk me out of it, but I was ready to sacrifice the entirety of the Wolfen, because I knew, there was no stopping the human race, and they would not stop until every last Wolfen was enslaved.

No one can deny the human race isn't capable of such atrocities, as history shows us, we not only are capable of it, we ENJOY it.

It is likely, I chose to manifest myself, as human, before the beginning of the universe, because "I" am connected to the Source of all, who knew- this was going to happen, and that the Wolfen, as fierce as they appear, are actually very child-like and innocent, deep down, and they would need a human-wolf, not a wolf-human, to lead them out of a dark place, in their future.

If I go back to them, I have SO MUCH to teach them, about their human-ness, as they are all, part human. I have much to teach them, as only I can teach them, and I could not have taught them, if I was the "Old me".

That will benefit them, and help them live peacefully, and to evolve.

Now, my strategy, would be, rather than ripping the human race apart until we are torn to shreds by guns and bombs, it would be to stand firmly, on the borders of our territory- with our hands out, standing firm- and saying, "No further." Resisting the human encroachment, peacefully.

It was told to me, that "The council of light" installed a sort of time-damper, to slow the human race down, so "We could figure out how to live peacefully" because we were so selfish, and cruel, and evil, that it was hoped, we could figure out how to live peacefully, "In time".

If you travel deep enough in the caverns, there are many human clones down there, who are being tortured, by beings. Religion calls this place, "Hell". Where the bodies do not die, similar to me. The reason this place exists, is, if human evil was allowed to exist without regulation, humans could be as evil as they wanted, for as long as they wanted, with zero repercussions, and human evil would go on and on until it consumed itself.

However, if a particularly nasty human (or a bad one) is connected to a cloned being from them, and they are living in the caverns, ready to be given over to the torturers, it can be the ONLY way to deter them from injuring the rest of the human race. The terror people feel upon dying, is there for a reason. They are known, and selected for this, and their energy tortured until they no longer pose a danger to the human race, or anyone else. I would say, SOME Wolfen choose to be part of this, but very few.

And we should be grateful it exists, because if it didn't, this world would resemble a scorched hellscape, perpetually, with only the cruelest rulers having power, and ripping apart the rest of the human race, enslaving them, eating them, torturing them, rape, etc, etc, etc.

However, if humanity can do better, and we are, I believe, especially with the advent of the internet connecting us all, "hell" is no longer needed. Many of the torturers down there, don't want to hurt people any more, and want better lives.

I know it will be hard for many to grasp, but these dark beings are actually humanitie's saviors.

Without them, there would be no peace on Earth.

But, they are intimidating, and terrible, often, to behold.

But, if a nine foot tall demon with horns wants to sip tea at a coffee house, who is going to say, it is wrong?

This is a tangent

Back to Asrael:

I have half of her heart. She is, in spite of events, also a victim in this. She misses her father, and a part of her is broken/angry with me over it. However, she swore an Oath to me, not only of nonviolence, but to serve me, as her king. She took it seriously, and even though she treated me horribly, the truth is, I do still love her. I know little of my son.

If I return to her, it could be, we are always looking over our shoulders, for the angry Wolfen to attack us. Or, we could stay safe within the Wolfen city, where I am still loved, to a degree, and she is appreciated, and honored, for her role in "Bringing me back" from the darkness.

I can see, in an honest assessment of the old me, how evil I was, back then... And how much damage I was capable of, with enough power, which I had.

I can also see, how, being passive now, and restraining my emotions, will be one of the hardest things I will ever do, even as an immortal soul.

I... Don't know if Asrael will ever be able to stomach being in the same room with me, let alone, being my mate, once again. My life with them, may be quite lonely.

There will be adjustment, and it will not be the place I once ruled, once before.

I will be, a new voice of wisdom, however, and I will, be able to guide them, if they choose to listen, into better times of temperance.

I also want to say, no Wolfen, as far as I know, could have survived, what they put me through.

This is why, it is perhaps true, that I am needed, with the Wolfen, now, more than ever.

There are still many Wolfen, who do not see me as an evil and stupid King, but as a King who loved them so very much, he would rather lead his people into total destruction, than watch them become slaves and meat to be tortured at the hands of the unrestrained, cruel human race on Earth.

If "hell" closed-down, due to lack of maintenance from the Wolfen, and the human race were allowed to go on, unrestrained, had the human race not have been stopped, the human race present-day would look nothing like the human-race that would have been. The human capacity for evil is endless, and bottomless.

They see this, and they love me for it. For my guidance. Even if they lost someone in the war, they still, acknowledge that my heart never wavered for them, not once.

And while this was noble, it was also the problem- though I could never have seen it at that time, unless I had endured what I had endured, I would not have the wisdom and temperance I have today, things I hope to bring to the Wolfen people, to aid them, and guide their hearts, to better more peaceful times.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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more things are coming to light.

I remember playing video games, and as you walked into the darkness, large masses of your black void-view would turn to light, revealing what you are walking towards. Like, as you walked into the darkness, poof- the darkness would vanish, bathed with light, and you could see what you were walking towards. (More road, treasures, enemies, friends...) But if you remained where you were, there was only ever darkness.

So, as I venture forth...

I slept for almost 11 hours last night, I got decent rest but my watch said, "Poor recovery", and it feels like it, although I am not as exhausted.

Working with a friend, and collaborating memories, it seems that:

In some ways the Wolfen are just as mired in politics and ego as the human race. When I worked with wolves, the alpha/omega dynamic was so very real- in wild packs of wolves, certain ones could be bullied into "eating last", and some, bullied into starvation, or, bullied into becoming lone wolves (And hence, starvation as well.)

And, the pack was fine with this... Like, little furry humans with big, sharp teeth.

The flip side of this, is uncanny loyalty and devotion, way unlike the present day human race.

With most, it is a double-edged sword, but with the Wolfen, this sword is more extreme.

The Wolfen who will integrate with the human race are the ones who are willing to surrender their teeth and claws (Metaphorically) and fully integrate with the similarly-soft human race.

Some wolfen will consider this degrading, and stupid- and those- are the ones who need to respect their borders, and not venture into human territory.

This is knowledge I lacked, as previous King to them.

I was too immersed in their culture to see things from a human perspective.

Combined with the horrors I saw the human race commit on my people, naturally my response would be almost completely emotional.

It's been revealed, that some of the Wolfen hated me, (Long before the war. I lacked their teeth and claws, and they viewed me as inferior. They couldn't wait to rip me apart. Which is why Asrael had to intervene, because many volunteered for her job, but there would have been NO mercy with them. I would have been annihilated, which, oddly, may have been MUCH more merciful. That Asrael has preserved some of my body, my torment remains... But had I of been consumed by an angry Wolfen, I would be giving life to anger itself...) and wished for my punishment to be as extreme and terrible as possible.

Speaking of Karma: Wolves, have little choice but to rip their prey to shreds, oftentimes, as other predators: Slowly, and with zero regard to the comfort of the final moments of their food. Truly, wolves, and other predators, are the cosmic horror creatures, the "Aliens" that many other cultures view as, the things worse than death, there are civlizations that use Earth, as leverage to keep their children in-line, "Don;t misbehave or I will send you to Earth!" And the children vomiting slightly in terror over this. The only difference is, the boogeyman isn't real (He is though) but Earth is very, very real, and a cosmic horror show for the rest of the universe.

So, this cruelty is not only in their DNA, it is also part of their way of life. Unquestionably so. TO many humans their ways will seem bizarrely cruel and horrific, which is why, when the humans dominated them, it was just a power-switch, not some new, terrible dynamic.

Further, when I chose to come here, to manifest myself as a human, born from a wolf, it was to serve a purpose: To guide the Wolf to their next step in evolution.

Further, it was revealed, this machine of "theirs" (It is not their machine, They don't even know how it works, just rudimentary functions of it.) This machine, capable of capturing, isolating, and transferring the mass of consciousness, which is little more than self resonating antennae with spiritual dynamics, captured in "Living waters", the life of creation...

Many beings use this machine, to torture worthy humans, and other beings, back into-line, as "good" people never enter into the dark realms, they are content to be good, and do good, above.

I grew comfortable here, with the Wolfen, with their honesty, raw life living, and became so enraptured with them, I made a mistake. I failed to account for other views, as I was enthralled with their women, their ways, their connection with the Earth, very raw, and real.

I forgot why I was sent here.

I forgot who I was.

But, now I am starting to remember.

Because this machine tortured whatever was left of me, out of me, it has allowed me back-resonance, to rediscover who I am.

There are forces at work, here, that are above and beyond what is "known".

I am told things will be made right. I need to back off and let it happen.

Asrael, is the masculine feminine, the tomboy, the warrior with a womb, the tough girl, the woman willing to give me half of her heart, to bring me back, or to give me life- regardless of what it cost her, even long term. Not because she wanted to be my wife and mate forever, but because she is honorable, because she is willing to give of herself, for her leige.

She is a true believer.

As I tossed and turned this morning, another Wolfen was revealed to me.

Yes, she has the head of a wolf, but her body, is as feminine as any human woman, she is skinny, possibly, even as a human I am as strong as she is, maybe more so.

She is the picture of the gentle feminine. She reminds me of my ex-fiancee. Nurturing, kind, supporting, loving, gentle, not an act- but from her soul.

Makes me miss my fiancee, as it is possible, she is her human incarnation- but I had too many issues to be with her, when I knew her, three or so years ago.

Anyway, this Wolfen woman, likes to be recalled, "Rebecca" by my heart. I have many children with her.

I would love Asrael in the barracks, and have fun with her and the troops: But I would always come home to Rebecca. (Polyamory is accepted within the tribe, if all parties agree to it. Rebecca views it as, bolstering the troops, winning their support...) Rebecca is the woman who's face of passion I memorized, and never forgotten- even as a multi dimensional spiritual being, her face of pleasure will be something that will always guide me- true, unrestrained, passion of a Wolfen woman.

It is this face, I have been seeking, all of my life, and it is why, Asrael has the honor, not to reciprocate my affections, because she knows about Rebecca, and loves her, too. Asrael could have all of me, and I could, forget about Rebecca, but Asrael will not allow it. Although, Asrael holds half of my heart, as is required, to bring the old "me" back to life, and separate soul from spirit.

It is a bittersweet dynamic.

It occurred to me today, that the "Old times" of fun with the Wolfen peoples, are over- and whatever awaits me in the future- which has not been written yet in time, and cannot be accessed (They have not happened yet). But, that whatever is in the future, is unwritten, and the old times are gone- the fond memories, do not serve me any longer.

Whatever waits for me, will be quite different, possibly joyless, painful, bathed on sorrow and regret.

I postulated, with my friend, if being incarnated into a softer world- perhaps the world of amphibious people, would be more suited for me.

Primarily, because this machine I speak of, has been damaged, and while it is a machine of suffering- it is also a machine of healing- but i only experienced the suffering, and not the healing, so I am sort of trapped in an incarnation of brokenness, like someone who had life-saving surgery, but was never put back together, and is forced to walk around with an open chest, in agony.

Yeah, my life was saved, but now there is no comfort for me, except, at the end of a bottle.

Asrael's heart is grieved as I type these words, because, the girl within her, soft, tender, feminine, desired me, but now that I have remembered Rebecca, she knows, it is, in part, not to be.

This is truly, a time of grief, for many hearts.

And, the idea that, a Wolfen man or men, have been beating down Rebecca's door, to get inside of her fur, to tell her, I am never coming back, to demoralize her, to intimidate her, to push her into a relationship she does not want, but her- being so numb and broken hearted, succumbed to it, only to become a laughing stock of the tribe. All while waiting for me, her King, to return to her- not her king, but her beloved husband, who loved her, with a primal passion, not found anywhere else on the planet.

In many ways, the Wolfen, are a dumb, shitty people, who deserve what they will get.

They may survive, without me, they may. But, my heart still burns for them, the knowledge I have within, will keep them on a path of light and growth, to a path of peace and prosperity, that will, yes, cost them nearly everything in pursuing.

It is either by choice, or by force. The wall-hangars can retreat deeper into the wilderness, and should forever keep to themselves.

As the human race on earth evolves, the Wolfen should evolve alongside them, either in the open, or in the shadows, the dogmen on youtube, being Wolfen who have migrated to human realms, to interact, and observe us.

I do recall, a few months ago, after calling out to Asrael, she answered: And tried to "suck" my consciousness back into this... Emotional body, that, apparently has been healed, and is waiting for my consciousness to be secured back within it- but he is still filled with terror, over his cruel treatment.

Further, this machine, that is likely as old as this planet, left here by the original Builder race, able to influence people, and has guided humanity, has been damaged, and now, things are beginning to change, from bottom-up, instead of top-down.

This is why the "hell" dimension is changing, and hopefully, is not as needed as ti once was, as we, the human race, begin to become autonomous.

It is, after all, perhaps- the ordained progression of things.

I could be, the sacrifice needed to end one dynamic, for another to be born. Jesus suffered one day on the cross, but I have suffered over twenty years on mine. Asrael is the sacrifice of the Wolfen heart, to bring me back to the Wolfen, so I can be with Rebecca, if it is to happen, and me, to live with them again, not as a ruler, but as a teacher.

I am sending heart light to my emotional body, to try to heal him, he is utterly terrified, as they bungled the machine's controls up, and fucked him up beyond recognition, turning him into little more than a terrified, mindless zombie.

It is no wonder he resists my consciousness going back into him, then he would have nowhere to go for rest, and would be trapped in a world of monsters.

If you have no choice but to love, then love is no longer a choice.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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It was revealed to me, because of the ignorance and cruelty of the Wolfen, and other beings present around this machine, that I suffered tens of thousands of times more horrifically than was needed to achieve their goal, and this was the result of moronic bumblings, or out right vicious cruelty. From the Wolfen, or from the other master torturers, who live in the darkness, who's job it is to correct humankind, among others.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I am not sure what else to say after this, but here is what my heart has been shown.

It isn't the Wolfen people to blame for this.

When Asrael told me, with her mind, that she hated god...

Many religious people, and even some non religious would say, "That makes her a demon/devil!"

No.

It does not.

What I have learned about the Wolfen, is, they, too, like many humans- are deeply steeped in their religious beliefs...

In fact, their "religion" is so deeply held, that it keeps their society together.

Many of their powerful "Council", are also religious.

Then, there is the same power struggle, with their political/religious system...

In many ways, as the early USA had government and religion intertwined, until recently, so their religion, is also part of nearly every decision they made.

I was religious, too, and worshiped their same god.

The harm that was done to me, I should say- the NEEDLESS beyond horrific harm done to me, was not done by ordinary, mindless, cruel Wolfen...

No.

It was done to me, specifically by the hands of religious beings, Wolfen and non-Wolfen, who had nothing but the absolute cruelest intentions for my soul, my "consciousness", to cause me as much horrific suffering as sadistically as possible, using this technology, that could have been used for good, much like humans use iron for good- and for evil- so they ramped up my suffering, taking twenty years of my life in horrific suffering, and causing endless misery before that-

All hiding behind their "god"- who- I might add- if he was still around and in power- would be CONDEMNING EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM, as my intentions for them- were from a pure heart- they did not see this, and if they did- they were jealous of how black their hearts were- and as above- so below- so these cruel, religious Wolfen, did their evil in the darkness, handing my DNA over to the rulers of the hell-realms, for a yet undiscovered body to be made, though the machine was though to be destroyed, I believe it is still operating, trying to pull me to an even worse fate- for god knows how long...

And Asrael.

Her heart hates her "god"... Any true, living lords today, sees her heart, washed as white as snow... Though many of the evil religious Wolfen, perhaps some cultists as well- practicing dark arts in secret- had a hand in this- and will seek to hide from the judgment that is coming for them- the heart of Asrael will be spared, the women their society has outcast, the woman they have rejected, she will be counted as a saint- and each of the ones who did cruelty, will be trapped by their own dark hearts, them, and just like the people in the Bible, who wished condemnation upon themselves, for the fate of Jesus Christ- so will these Wolfen not escape the punishment that is to fall on each and every one of their heads.

These beings, these Wolfen- among others- hide behind the light of religion, using it to justify their cruelty, greed, sexual immorality, violence, sadism, revenge for slights that they only think that happened- as above- so below, their "reward" for this, will fall upon them suddenly, and they will know- that just as there are workers in the dark- so, there are also workers in the dark, who work in the light!

What happened to me, will not go unpunished.

The Wolfen peoples, some honorable men, and many women, who sacrificed for me, who burnt incense for me at their altars, will find vindication, and release, and their energies will be allowed to ascend to higher levels.

They will find rest.

In now way, will the cruel ones, be allowed to taint paradise.

They may think their god will excuse him- but he will NOT.

Just like Jesus, they took a pure heart, and slaughtered it, calling it evil, using their own sorrowful weakness, to justify unspeakable cruelty- just like, has been done in the name of religion, here, on the surface of earth.

My job now, is to forgive them... Let it go. Focus on being pure of heart.

I also harbor NO judgment for Asrael.

Her hands may have been the instruments of torture, but her heart remains pure- heavy, but pure.

As for the rest, who harbor evil and hatred, cruelty and violence, in their hearts- the cup of wrath will be poured out, and every single last drop will be consumed by them.

The prey, will soon become the hunter- and his quarry will not escape the snare, the same snare the hunters once set for the prey.

-------


As much as I care for, love, and cherish Rebecca, the fairest Wolfen woman in the land, my heart for Asrael, cannot so easily just release her.

I love Asrael.

I know Rebecca would set offerings, at her beautiful feet, and thank her, with tears in her eyes- of gratitude, but also sorrow...

I try to tell Asrael, with my lips, daily, that she is beautiful. And, that I love her.

I wish to hold her body in my arms, transfer all the love that is in my heart to hers, to cleanse her, to forgive her, to absolve her of every blow, and to hold her blameless, the one she injured, grateful to her, and loving her fully.

I cannot so easily let Asrael go, and run into the waiting arms of my fair maiden, Rebecca. I am unsure of what to do with this, as I am not so able to just... Release someone who has endured punishment for me as Asrael has, nearly all of her, including her social status, to let her wither and be forgotten.

It would be beyond my abilities to resign her to that fate.

And, the fates have told me, justice, will be done, here. No slight, no wrong, no cruel whisper, no dark though, will be allowed to stand- Asrael, me, and Rebecca- among others- WILL be restored, resolved, forgiven, and the truth WILL be shouted from the rooftops, as above, so below- just like is beginning to happen with everyone who has wronged me personally, ESPECIALLY in the name of religion- here, on the Earth's surface.

This would make a great Tales from the Crypt episode or episodes!

My heart is for Asrael. My heart longs to comfort her, and to shoo away her every fear. To make love to her, to touch her body as indescribably sacred... To show her, the compassion and mercy of the TRUE god... the LIVING GOD...

In the end, every wrong will be righted... It is the only way proper unfoldment can happen... And, if a wrong is not righted, it will be exposed as such.

I am still unsure of my fate, when I pass on, I am told, to forgive, let go, and accept, if it is even worse than my life has been, to accept that, and face it bravely.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

I should also say, a quarter, or a third, of the hell-realms, (depending on who you ask/ what hearts are in play) now belong to me... By who's rules? The rules of the wills of the citizens there- a bet was made- if I would survive the torture or not- and I did, and some rulers have had to step down out of respect for me, and relinquish their rule, and there territory, is now mine to oversee.

In fact, they desire me to come down there and rule, as I have earned quite a few hearts of respect.

It also may be, these beings who harmed me so terribly, may find themselves, in the hands of the living god.

It was shown to me, that toward the end of my torture, that even many torturers and rulers in Hell itself, saw my suffering, and had compassion on me- EVEN THE SO CALLED DEVILS HATED WHAT THE RELIGIOUS WOLFEN DID TO ME.

Like Jesus, my second coming to the Wolfen people, MAY BE WITH THE SWORD.

Those who think they will escape judgment will have a swift and final surprise, and those who think Asrael will be the object of destruction WILL QUICKLY BE SHOCKED TO SEE THAT SHE, above ALL, is forgiven, restored, and washed white as snow- FAR WHITER THAN THOSE WHO ESPOUSE TO KNOW GOD.

SHE will be vindicated BY MY HAND, and given the highest position in the Council, possible- the Wolfen NEED HER AS BAD AS MORE BADLY THAN THEY NEED ME!!!

Too long has religion been a shelter for those with wicked hearts, who hide in the light, but who are nothing more than whitewashed tombs.

Too long!

The day is fast approaching, when what was done in the darkness, will be brought to the light.

As above, so below, let justice be done

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Like me, Asrael doesn't hate God.

She hated and hates the god she was shown.

The god she was told to worship.

A false god.

She hates the god who would excuse this evil being done in their name.

She took the burden, the punishment, due someone she loved, onto herself, and carried that pain, to spare me from it, because her heart is so pure it makes snow look like dirt.

Asrael is the angel here- while some, perhaps many Wolfen, call her the "Devil".

To me, there is no more pure heart in her realm.


Edit: I also absolve her of trying to start armageddon. It is the purest hearts that can be twisted to do terrible things, and she has been so hurt, and so scorned, when only good was in her heart, I can fully feel her justified, in trying to do what she did. And, I would note, she respected my wishes, and stopped being part of it entirely, with no protest whatsoever. She was, it felt, relieved, that I asked her to stop, and gladly walked away from the machine, before it was destroyed.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

They stand in condemnation of me.

Trying to elicit a response from me.

While, all the while having hearts two, and three times as malicious and as cruel as my own- when all I have ever done is try to love them.

As above, so below.

The parallels are uncanny.

I was filling in someone close to me about this, and they stood in condemnation of the human race- but this condemnation also stands against others.

Die a hero or live long enough to become the villain.

truer words were never spoken

My spirit is too caught up in this, if it were not for certain individuals I would abandon the pursuit entirely. Maybe that is what I should do, regardless. This is too much for an individual to bear, I need an entire community to share this burden.

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