Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)


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Tundrawolf
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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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We always send an ambassador before we arrive.

We see what you did to him

Don't make too many plans in the future.

He tried his best


You did your worst.

Now it's time to pay the piper.

=)



(Feels like I have the weight of the world on me. The anger the Wolfen people feel because they blame me for so much... Feels like all I've tried to do is love them... And all that happens is I get punished for it. I don't want to pay a terrible price for loving them. I don't know what to do about it. Outside of, trying to do better. They gave me a choice of a future... But, does Asrael actually want to be with me? She has a lot of overcoming to do, herself. I know I could give her a good life.)
Last edited by Tundrawolf on Wed Nov 23, 2022 9:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Leave nothing on this planet alive.

Not even the wolves


(Was channeling some deep anger here, and against even the Wolfen people, learned some disappointing things that I had to come to terms with... Maybe I'm still struggling)
Last edited by Tundrawolf on Wed Nov 23, 2022 9:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Well that was some rage energy... I apologize...

While I feel closer to Asrael I also made her upset... And pushed a friend away... I have to be accountable...

Also, I don't believe that ship is coming here. I don't think I have that much sway in the universe.

As I grow closer to the Wolfen, and discover more about them, it is disappointing, in many aspects, but also refreshing to get to know them.

It was my mistake to assume they were somehow "better" that humans... In many ways they are just as dysfunctional with the same insecurities we have...

I've apologized to Asrael. I had to come to terms with the anger I have in my heart against them.

It feels like I've had no control over my life... That all these decisions were made for me. Some say I chose this...

I don't know.

I do know Asrael is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen... And I would like nothing more than to be her other half... To share a life with her...

She has a lot of anger to put away, too.

I told her... I want to work to accept her... As she is... Feet to ears... But I can't help but feel her anger against me...

Whatever she thinks... The man she used to know, doesn't exist any more.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Okay so I just had a huge breakthrough with Asrael.

She revealed a huge part of her personality as an individual to me.

It's no wonder she felt hurt when I didn't trust her with my safety (she's very in control)

This happened after I apologized to her about me tearing the head off another individual she cares about.

However, she, once again, told me, my anger is a huge problem. I can only agree with her. So, I am going to begin taking steps to controlling it and or correcting it.

After the breakthrough this morning, a lot of my fears have gone away. She is a very ordered woman and in control of herself. I can't say the same for me.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I cannot connect to the flame.

I do not believe that I belong here.

I tried to survive here among the humans and the Wolfen but the truth is this place is too evil.

Memories are returning to me, even about my time with the Wolfen, and this supposed friend of mine who saved me from their machine.

Friends tend not to try to sleep with their friends other halves.

I'm not from here and even I know that.

Then add insult to injury (endlessly) and claim to be my friend.

What did you think would happen? I knew seeking answers would only result in pain, but I had no other choice. I needed to know. Maybe one day my anger will subside, but it is not today.

I connected with my people who are exploring space about this place, and communicated with them.

The asked me if I was sure about my orders...

The woman Rebecca, who honestly loves me, who cares for me, who would be grieved it anything happened to me, she is the only thing holding me back from being "sure" about my "orders".

I don't know what to think about Asrael any more, the hell does she want if she doesn't want me.

The Wolfen just want to sweep this under the rug and forget about it.

But it's like a horror movie, what you did- the blood you spilled, the people you've wronged, the pain you've caused, the karma you've amassed, will not be dismissed.

An accounting will happen.

What am I to do about this place?

The council, or whatever, told me, I could have l, "a peaceful life" with the Wolfen, if I agreed to hold this planet harmless.

I told them no.

I will not hold this place harmless.

The only thing holding me back, is what it would do to Rebecca.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Man, oh man, when those memories come back, they hit you like a ton of bricks!

Wow!

Talk about a reversal of karma!

My opinion of certain individuals has gone from hero to zero

And the only reason I am not still furious is because of certain individuals opinion OF those individuals!

Paul, I am unsure of my spirit veins purpose here. Apparently it is for good?

There is a reason I am blood-related to multiple ruling classes, above, and below.

I think my human-being self is here to act as a judge...

When the person bullied and victimized turns out to be the bullies' god...

I had to go incognito and appear to come from nothing to accomplish this

Funny how history is not a line but a circle.



Because I actually do give a shit about, and do love the Wolfen, I WILL be returning to them, and I WILL be schooling them with wisdom only I possess.

The worst thing that can happen to them is me not coming back to them.

I am also not of the same mind I once was... I have lost a lot of love for them... But replaced it with knowledge and understanding.

In short. They have burned me.

My crime?

Loving them.

Caring for them.

Wanting their best interests.

It can make a guy jaded.

The human race lacks many of the positive characteristics of the Wolfen, but the opposite is also true.

Everyone sucks if you get close enough.

I struggle with the intent of, wanting my spiritual self to come here, and wanting to give this planet it's just desserts. Part of me doesn't want to assist the human race (or the Wolfen, who seem to enjoy punishing people who love them) and would rather either calamity happen, or the human race (and Wolfen) devolve into chaos and much deserved destruction.

Many do not want this place to survive.

And they are not wrong.

But, my love for the Wolfen people is real. I don't fall in love with them, only to abandon them and leave them stranded and lonely, moving on with my life because I am a selfish piece of shit who only cares about me and my social status, but deserving of neither. (And nothing)

No. Love stays with them even if they choose to act like a bunch of cunts.

Truly. Any trash human that bags a Wolfen girl will have her heart forever. Even if he is a piece of shit.

So there's hope for the human race!

You can be as shitty and weak as you want! Just bag a wolf girl

I know this also speaks about me as well, with Rebecca. I had zero attachment to the children I fathered, which speaks to how detached and not well rounded (unhealthy) I was. Yet Rebecca still loves me and mourns my absence (maybe)

I know Asrael loves me. I know she cares. She gave up her future, her dignity, her life for me. I also know she knows the man in one was. In some ways the man she bonded to is better than I used to be.

But I want to be the man who is today, better than he is.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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To anyone trying to go to the freemason forum be aware it is run by a tyrant

Anyway.

Tyrants tend to stick together.

Things in this world need to stop. But people think they need to continue the way they are.

My posts in the other forum were being deleted so my voice was silenced

There is an enemy of mine who masquerades as my friend.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Ignore me

But I am not wrong

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I am letting it go for now.

For now.

There are beings who will take care of it for me in an event where I am incapacitated.

There are people who like poking the beehive

They tend to get stung

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I'm just drunk and pissed off.

Canabis is more agreeable, less dopamine but I don't want to rain hellfire on this world.

I wish I could say for concrete what is true and real, if not part of it, or all of it. So many possibilities.

If you look across a tear in the timeline, and zoom out and see all the iterations that link with one another, any iteration of any imaginable situation is possible given enough time and the right cross interactions.

There is a time like where I am the wolf girl, and I'm trying to save the human that I love.

There's a time like where she chooses to be free of me.

There's a time like where I choose to be free of her.

And, there's a timeline where she is basically forced to injure someone punishment to account for his errors, and is putting him through hell, but actually cares about him on a personal level, is hopeful he'll learn his lesson, and gave half of her heart to him so that he could survive, calling him back to her, no matter how deep in the cold he is, and finding him changed, she snatches him up and takes him back to his people, where he is forgiven, loved and happy for the rest of his life, surrounded by the people he loves.

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