I’m looking for some answers

[niflandir]

Hello,

As I mentioned in the title, I’m looking for some answers. I haven’t been deeply involved in the occult culture, but it has always been a part of my life. That’s why I’ve decided to start somewhere and search for some answers. This might be a long read, so thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to go through it.

I hope someone with extensive knowledge about the occult responds to this. ^^

First of all, my connection with supernatural events began when I was around 7 or 8 years old. I was born in a small country called Moldova and lived in a city there until I was 12, after which we moved to another country. My childhood was filled with an incredible number of supernatural events. Before I was born, my grandmother had dreams about me, foretelling my arrival. She always described me as a black bull drenched in blood. I wasn’t told about these dreams until I was around 16 or 17 years old.

Up until I was 7 or 8, I experienced almost nightly nightmares, sleepwalking, and speaking in languages my family didn’t understand. At one point, as far as I remember, my family took me to a priest to seek blessings or something similar. The priest spent several hours with me, reciting prayers and performing rituals I didn’t understand. In the end, he sent us home, telling my mother that, unfortunately, it wouldn’t help.

About a year later, things started getting stranger. I had two friends, a girl and a boy, who were cousins. We spent our childhood camping in the woods and were very good at survival. One day, we discovered what seemed to be a ruin. There were walls leading underground, very old, and the inside was pitch black. Normally, we weren’t scared of such things, but both of my friends started crying and ran away. I, however, felt an overwhelming urge to go inside. A few days later, I went in alone.

Even though I had a flashlight, I could barely see a meter ahead of me. Eventually, I found what looked like a tomb. Inside, there was a skeleton with a book placed next to it. The skeleton’s entire surface had been etched with rune-like markings, and there was writing in a language resembling Latin. (My grandmother was insistent on me learning Latin, so it felt familiar at the time.) I took the book and, for reasons I still don’t understand, one of the skeleton’s hands, and ran out.

After this incident, my grandmother and other elders in the family took the book away from me and scolded me severely. I was forbidden from going to that part of the forest again. Strangely, after that, my nightmares stopped completely, I stopped sleepwalking, and I began experiencing vivid lucid dreams. To this day, at 27 years old, I have not had a single nightmare. My ability to control and strengthen my lucid dreams has only improved over time.

The only dream I can clearly recall after these events was the one that seemed to mark the end of my nightmares. In the dream, I was sitting in the middle of what looked like a battlefield, rather than the ruins I had explored. Across from me sat a man dressed entirely in white, holding a slightly long dagger inscribed with handwritten symbols. He held it up as if presenting it to someone. However, instead of a face, there was only a simple, smoky darkness, moving slowly like mist. The only sound I could hear was his voice, deep yet gentle and commanding—perhaps the most authoritative voice I’ve ever imagined (the closest comparison I can make as an adult would be Morgan Freeman).

After this dream, I was kept away from supernatural topics by my family. Whenever I showed interest in such things, I was punished or had my belongings taken away.

Years later, when we moved to another country, I discovered that the girl from the ruins still had the book we found. She later told me it was related to black magic, but after some disagreements between our families, the matter was dropped.

As I grew older, especially between the ages of 20 and 25, I began to develop an awareness of certain things. For example, an elderly woman once told me, "Children like you were called rain-bringers. Be careful not to harm others with your abilities." She warned me to be mindful of my emotions, as they seemed to affect the environments I lived or worked in—disasters tied to my anger and blessings tied to my happiness.

Additionally, all the romantic partners I’ve had up to this point have been somehow connected to the occult or magic. One of them even claimed to belong to an ancient coven of witches. While I was hesitant to involve myself at the time, she later admitted that none of the spells or curses she attempted on me after our breakup ever worked.

I’ve experienced many events like these—with fortune-tellers, witches, Satanists, and more. One of my friends, who identified as a Satanist, claimed that I was specifically blessed and protected by Belphegor. Others suggested that the figure I saw in my dream was an angel, a manifestation of my subconscious, or a demon. I’ve heard many theories, but rather than fanatically believing in one thing, I’ve tried to research and uncover the truth for myself. However, I must admit, I’m starting to feel tired.

One last thing I’d like to share is about the symbols carved into the skeleton hand I found. At one point, I had them translated, and they roughly meant this:

"Listen to the voice over what exists and protect it; accept the silent scream within the darkness."

If you’ve read this far, thank you. If you have any insights or questions about what I’ve shared, please feel free to comment or ask.

[WildWolf]

Hey man, your not alone.....lots of people who get into this stuff usually have weird psi events (hag attacks, sleep paralysis, ancestral powers, demonic encounters, seeing spirits, natural healing abilities...etc) that occur in youth. I knew one chick who's whole family would dream the future very accurately.

Since your having fun going into tombs, picking up skeletons and finding books on black magick.....maybe you have some natural necromantic abilities. Different people will gravitate towards differing skill-sets (currents of magick).

I'm not particularly talented in Necromancy....but St.Cyprian (the sorcerous saint) might be a good spirit ally to call upon for assistance in that sphere. Cheers.

[Amor]

...

was a skeleton with a book placed next to it....I took the book and, for reasons I still don’t understand, one of the skeleton’s hands, and ran out.

... after that, my nightmares stopped completely, I stopped sleepwalking, and I began experiencing vivid lucid dreams. ...

I know several people that have become more complete after visiting their tomb from a previous life or visiting the house of an ancestor.

It seems that some part of what might be loosely termed the "soul" can be left/stored in such places.

In your case it looks like the tomb was of your elder brother in a past life.

You can test this by putting your attention to the hand you took, and imagining moving the hand back along this timeline to about 1694 where you may see a battlefield. Who is on the ground?