In the closet practicing

[Aardvark]

"Is there really something wrong with respecting the rules of the house that you live in and respecting those that are taking care of you?"

Not at all. But why would that entail not practicing at all? OP asked how to closet practice, so what is wrong with answering that question?

"Is there something wrong with not telling a child to lie to their parents or not telling them to sneak around and do things that would cause them to freak out?"

OP is 18. OP is not a child. OP is legally capable of walking off and living anywhere else if they did freak out.

"Do you personally know anyone who was dragged off as a minor to have an exorcism because they did these things? I have."

OP is 18. OP is not a minor. OP could just not go and be legally okay.

"Have you seen the results of a severe beating from Fundamentalist parents because of Occult activities? I have."

Yes. Also OP is 18, not a child to be beaten. OP might be beaten, but OP is old enough to legally live alone or anywhere of their choosing if the situation is that bad. You seem to be making large assumptions about OP's life. Why not let OP tell us if any of this bears truth. OP will you be beaten, dragged to an exorcism, etc.?



No one needs to agree with my decision to tell people to wait until they grow up and move out before lying, sneaking and hiding what they're doing. My reasons are my own and I've shared several of them here. I understand that this opinion is not what most people that ask these questions want to hear but it is MY opinion. Besides, there's plenty of people around that have no problem answering these questions. So, what exactly is the problem here?

[Lord Ferocia]

RoseRed,

I don't want to continue beating a dead horse here, but the point is that even if they were a minor, I think you are wrong.

Mainly because (like many other sensitive subjects) a minor can seek advice on all sorts of "questionable" subjects. Agreed? So, I feel that any responsible adult, would, when approached, answer a question in a responsible manner. Otherwise, if you ignore these questions, they may seek the answers somewhere else, and perhaps get bad advice.

In this case, the OP is 18, and so the matter should be settled. However, to simply address what you THOUGHT was a problem, I want to respond. As already mentioned (and I feel is a valid point) simple being silent is not a solution. For one reason, your silence doesn't in any way prevent them from reading the other posts here, and choosing at will who or what random advice they may receive. I feel it is far better to simply give out safe and responsible advice regardless. If they are a minor and not allowed to practice magic, they could still lie about their age, and still discuss it regardless.

If your child was into illegal drugs, and was afraid to ask questions of you regarding them, and sought advice elsewhere, what would you rather have happen? Responsible adults simply stay quiet or give them sound advice to stay away from them? I am in no way saying Magic is comparable to illegal drugs, but the point is, you are comparing the situations. A parent not allowing a child to do something, they will most likely do anyway, and when seeking advice, you think it wise for everyone to simply ignore them.

Now, also, you failed to truly read the OP's post, as it even mentions them about to start college and live in a dorm (no doubt away from their parents). This of course gave me the impression we were not dealing with a 10 or 13 or even 15 year old child, but at best a 17 or 18 year old. One old enough to make many important decisions in their lives. Regardless, if I were you, I would at the very least speak out IF the advice given was in some way dangerous. Your assumptions of them possibly being beaten etc., is silly, and hardly realistic. I highly doubt anyone with that sort of family, would even be here posting in the forum in the first place out of fear alone.

This is the last I will contribute to this whole ordeal.

LF

[RoseRed]

YAY!!!! [yay]

I think you are wrong.

Ok.

[RoseRed]

Does anyone have experience in hiding their practices? Everyone in my family, save for my dad who is thankfully my primary guardian, is very religious. It's hard enough for me to get out of being dragged to church every Sunday;

all hell would break loose if my mother saw an alter in my room

. Things will be even more difficult next year when I head to college and start living in a dorm. [crymore]
What can I do to practice and hide from my family?

Am I the only one that actually read the opening post? I don't care if the OP stated their age was 18 or not. 18 yr olds don't have 'primary guardians'. And the OP is still trying to get out of going to church on Sundays. I mean, really? And saying that moving into a dorm is gonna make it harder? That doesn't even make sense. College is the time for experimenting.

I didn't make any assumptions about the OPs life. I simply stated that I have personally seen the exorcisms and beatings happen. So, yes, it is a very realistic consequence. It may not be super common but it does happen.

If my kid was doing illegal drugs I certainly wouldn't want her getting advice from some stranger on the internet. Cuz, ya know - they're all so trustworthy and all that.

When you guys are all growed up and have children in this age range - track me down and let me know if your opinions and ideas have changed. Mine have over the last 15 - 20 years.

We live in a day and age with information overload. Lots of people think they're entitled to have all the answers handed to them. And quite often they get pissy when the answers aren't forthcoming. This thread is a perfect example of it - even from those that aren't asking for answers. It's quite obvious that my silence means very little since others are willing to share information.

So, once again, I still don't see the problem here. And calling this conversation an 'ordeal' - wow and really? It's called a conversation.

[Aardvark]

Am I the only one that actually read the opening post? I don't care if the OP stated their age was 18 or not. 18 yr olds don't have 'primary guardians'. And the OP is still trying to get out of going to church on Sundays. I mean, really? And saying that moving into a dorm is gonna make it harder? That doesn't even make sense. College is the time for experimenting.

Reading the opening post is exactly why we don't think it's such a big deal to give advice. You're right about college, no idea why that would make it harder, which is exactly why giving advice isn't such a big deal in this particular case.

I didn't make any assumptions about the OPs life. I simply stated that I have personally seen the exorcisms and beatings happen. So, yes, it is a very realistic consequence. It may not be super common but it does happen.

That the OP is in danger of this is a blatant and baseless assumption, you simply do not know that. I and most of my friends went through this with the church thing, but nobody was ever at risk of beatings or exorcisms. You say it's not super common, so why did you assume that the OP is in this situation? Why not ask the OP first if giving advice like this is dangerous or not?

If my kid was doing illegal drugs I certainly wouldn't want her getting advice from some stranger on the internet. Cuz, ya know - they're all so trustworthy and all that.

Maybe you're a good parent and your kids feel safe talking to you about those issues. If I were the kind of parent who my kids felt they couldn't talk to about things, the internet would be the logical choice for them, sadly. It's obviously not a good choice, but when your parents are that blind and nearsighted, at least OP got adult advice, instead of Google advice to summon demons and spit on his parents crosses (seriously first thing that came up in google when I used some of OP's questions /facepalm).

When you guys are all growed up and have children in this age range - track me down and let me know if your opinions and ideas have changed. Mine have over the last 15 - 20 years.

I do, and they haven't. But again, my kids can talk to me about things, and have rarely ever hid anything big from me, even homosexuality. The best way to keep kids from doing things behind their parents' back is to have good parents they can trust and talk to in the first place, right?

We live in a day and age with information overload. Lots of people think they're entitled to have all the answers handed to them. And quite often they get pissy when the answers aren't forthcoming. This thread is a perfect example of it - even from those that aren't asking for answers. It's quite obvious that my silence means very little since others are willing to share information.

When answers aren't forthcoming, and questions are met with silence because of assumptions about what might happen in someone's life, it's the opposite of helpful, it's hurtful, whether you think so or not. As an 18 year old heading into college, it feels like a slap in the face and a brand that "you're just a child, we can't talk to you." It's not having another human to at least ask what the risks are for answering, etc.

So, once again, I still don't see the problem here. And calling this conversation an 'ordeal' - wow and really? It's called a conversation.

We just disagree. I think the most responsible and adult action would have queried OP more on the consequences, and then answered if it was safe, not made the assumption it was or wasn't as a knee jerk reaction?

[RoseRed]

You weren't the one that called this discussion an 'ordeal'. And I just consider it part of a the conversation.

I don't understand why you think that 1) I'm assuming anything about this persons life. I simply said that I've seen it happen. My advice was 'if it's that big of a deal wait until you get your own place'. It wasn't a knee jerk reaction and I know that it's not something that most people want to hear. If you look back at the conversation that we had with wombocombo about his upcoming Confirmation - we had a really good talk about being a kid at home with parents that don't get it. I said the same things in that conversation and nobody had a problem with it.

Did you miss the part where I said that I thought Ferocia gave good advice to the kid?

Maybe you're a good parent and your kids feel safe talking to you about those issues. If I were the kind of parent who my kids felt they couldn't talk to about things, the internet would be the logical choice for them, sadly. It's obviously not a good choice, but when your parents are that blind and nearsighted, at least OP got adult advice, instead of Google advice to summon demons and spit on his parents crosses (seriously first thing that came up in google when I used some of OP's questions /facepalm)

Oh, geez! Wow!

I never said that anyone else giving advice was a horrible. It's just something that I choose not to do. I choose not to tell a kid how to lie and hide things from their parents. I gave several reasons as to why I made that choice. I'm not having a knee jerk reaction here. I have no idea what it's like to be a kid in the internet age. I did all my stupid shit before camera phones (thank all the Gods for that! LOL)

But again, my kids can talk to me about things, and have rarely ever hid anything big from me, even homosexuality. The best way to keep kids from doing things behind their parents' back is to have good parents they can trust and talk to in the first place, right?

I'm the same way with mine and she can talk to me about anything. Some of the things that she comes out with throw me for a loop and I'm like 'give me 5 minutes to process this first'. And you're right but we can't fix the whole world. I couldn't go to my Mother for anything. I was fortunate that I could go to my Grandmother so I do understand it.

And I'm really not trying to beat a dead horse here. The thing is, for now at least, this is a choice that I've made. When the topic comes up again from another kid (which it will) I'll most likely give the same advice. There's a lot of members here and they'll understand where I'm coming from just from following the conversation here in this thread. That's all.

[Aardvark]

I never said that anyone else giving advice was a horrible. It's just something that I choose not to do. I choose not to tell a kid how to lie and hide things from their parents. I gave several reasons as to why I made that choice. I'm not having a knee jerk reaction here. I have no idea what it's like to be a kid in the internet age. I did all my stupid shit before camera phones (thank all the Gods for that! LOL)

I'm sorry, I may have been misunderstanding the whole time. I'm not trying to fight about it. I just disagree with remaining silent. I also disagree with wholesale throwing any and all advice out there. I would personally suggest just asking what the risks are of getting caught. I can see your position, and while I partially disagree, I think it's a decent position to hold. And yes, seriously, aren't we fortunate not to have some of stupid things we did on video and pictures all over the internet? Wow, haha. That could be horrible.

I'm the same way with mine and she can talk to me about anything. Some of the things that she comes out with throw me for a loop and I'm like 'give me 5 minutes to process this first'. And you're right but we can't fix the whole world. I couldn't go to my Mother for anything. I was fortunate that I could go to my Grandmother so I do understand it.

Same here, my mother is very conservative Christian, and asking questions or talking about certain life issues just weren't accepted and tolerated. I mostly went to an uncle. My point of view here is if I had asked online back then and not gotten any information at all, I'd probably have latched onto the first stupid thing that came along in my frustration and ignorance. That's why I suggested that silence isn't necessarily the best thing. While I admire the notion of not having someone lie to their parents or guardians, you have to know that their frustration at silence would probably cause them to go something even more stupid. I think I see it as a lesser of two evils approach. I would want to discuss the possible repercussions of divulging knowledge and tips to the person, but I would also be wary to make sure I don't drive them to something absolutely stupid, as frustrated teens are apt to do.

[RoseRed]

My point of view here is if I had asked online back then and not gotten any information at all, I'd probably have latched onto the first stupid thing that came along in my frustration and ignorance. That's why I suggested that silence isn't necessarily the best thing. While I admire the notion of not having someone lie to their parents or guardians, you have to know that their frustration at silence would probably cause them to go something even more stupid. I think I see it as a lesser of two evils approach. I would want to discuss the possible repercussions of divulging knowledge and tips to the person, but I would also be wary to make sure I don't drive them to something absolutely stupid, as frustrated teens are apt to do

I do understand that. But mine wasn't the only post on here and the OP wasn't met with complete silence. And if anyone had come out with really stupid advice I would've said a lot more.

Going back to the other post I mentioned earlier - WC asked very specific questions and had given his situation a lot thought. It was an entirely different type of conversation and that one I participated in. This post is more 'what should I do and how to I lie about it and hide it.' I also think that along with others giving advice that it's a piece of advice that should out there. It brings a balance to it. Sometimes, people don't realize that they also have the option of waiting or not doing it. I fully realize that it's most likely going to be ignored but it's also something to consider.

ugh - frustrated teens. Yup.

[RoseRed]

I'm sorry, I may have been misunderstanding the whole time. I'm not trying to fight about it. I just disagree with remaining silent. I also disagree with wholesale throwing any and all advice out there. I would personally suggest just asking what the risks are of getting caught. I can see your position, and while I partially disagree, I think it's a decent position to hold.

Thank you. I'm just glad that we were able to clear up any misunderstandings here.

[ThreeWhens]

Does anyone have experience in hiding their practices? Everyone in my family, save for my dad who is thankfully my primary guardian, is very religious. It's hard enough for me to get out of being dragged to church every Sunday; all hell would break loose if my mother saw an alter in my room. Things will be even more difficult next year when I head to college and start living in a dorm. [crymore]
What can I do to practice and hide from my family?

My advice is to keep it small. Stay away from garish displays and stick with miniatures that can be easily hidden behind other objects. Instead of having a full-sized altar, make a miniature altar so you can hide it easily when necessary.
Or take the advice some other people have given you - you don't necessarily need an altar at all.
When you go to college, your roommate won't care what you're doing. You won't have to hide anything in college.

[Aardvark]

Thank you. I'm just glad that we were able to clear up any misunderstandings here.

You're welcome. I prefer us to be friends, even if we have some disagreements in some places, haha.

[RoseRed]

Sounds good to me.

And I'm sure you're not surprised but I disagree with me friends a good chunk of the time LOL

[RoseRed]

That was a late night posting LOL

I just wanted to add that in those 'disagreements' come some pretty awesome conversations. I'm not so set in my ways that I won't re-evaluate my thoughts on a subject. Go figure - it's been known to happen.