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Not being able to make yourself slaughter the innocent is a beautiful thing. I hope you never lose that.

And yes, there are alternatives.

Even in my darkest times, I wouldn't dare think of hurting true innocence. Though I am morbid and I trivialize death, I wouldn't harm animals nor young children. These are laws woven into my brain. I've daydreamed about being like Raistlin Majere, Dark Schneider, or like Jafar from Aladdin, or a powerful genie, shaping the world as I see fit but, yeah, I would never hurt animals, or people who were unworthy of punishment. I am autistic and I have some empathy issues. I day dream of being powerful instead of awkward and weak.

I must admit it's been a tough week for me, doing nothing but sleeping. I'm looking into a jewelry club tomorrow and getting membership. $20 for the year and $1 per visit for using tools. They should be able to point me into the right direction of a course. I'm feeling weak tonight.

Updated: So this man doesn't take it personally that I'm choosing to go my own way and he's fully supportive of my decision, saying it's a great choice. He also said we can talk online, even if I'm not meeting him in person. He's just happy we made up.

DarkSchneider wrote:Even in my darkest times, I wouldn't dare think of hurting true innocence. Though I am morbid and I trivialize death, I wouldn't harm animals nor young children. These are laws woven into my brain.

Neither would I. I see it as an easy way out, we are all perfectly capable of raising the neccesary energy without causing harm. It just takes more effort that's all. You're on a very good path, walk it proudly!