OccultForum.org

Original post: MatthewK

I'm really hating my job right now. Despite having jumped through a few hoops and pulled favors, pursuing avenues I wouldn't normally think of to get it... it seems the weighing of one option against another and gambling on the place has turned out to be some kind of test of how badly I need the money and how much of my integrity I'm willing to sacrifice to bring in a paycheck at regular intervals.

This may or may not be true, but it seems very likely given the occurances surrounding the entire crew each week. It seems pretty mystical of me to sit back and say "this is like some kind of test of my inner strength" like a dyed-in-the-wool Christian facing a crisis of faith and questioning god, but if things didn't add up a certain way I wouldn't be questioning it the way I am.

The fact that I've just realized what all of this is shows how tired and stressed I am. Sometimes a shitty job is just a shitty job, no matter how many strings we pulled to get it. Other times it seems like we just want to push ourselves to the limit. I can't decide. All I know for sure is that it can't last forever.

Original post: Please

I masturbated 10 times in one day once.

Yes, I counted.

Original post: Vardigon

10 times? most i've ever done is 5. do you have scorpio in you somewhere?

Original post: durki

Lover of a lady with whom I joked most innocuously threatened to murder me.

Original post: Miss_Stoic

I work at a restaurant late in the evenings and before we close I have to put away all the soup and salad stuff. I have now smuggled out two cups of soup which I should have paid for. I don't really feel guilty considering how I usually wind up making the soup (I'm entitled, right?), I work really late, am poor, get paid crap, and am starving by the end of the night. Such a small victimless crime ...

I confess that my user-name was durki at OF.com.

Sizzling heat of the summer in India where I live arouses me sexually so much so that I pine for ladies.

While at Occultforums.com, I used to get quite mesmerized by Kath's beauty. I some-times even thought of visiting her to get into her bed. Of course now she seems to have got drained of her original charm.

One lame lady & one old lady have complained against me to my bosses for making advances on them. I am wondering whether I am really so low.

I confess that I do not have the need to confess anything, this confession being the one and only exception to that.

Mist wrote:I confess that I do not have the need to confess anything, this confession being the one and only exception to that.

(1) If you do an honest self-introspection, you will end up discovering in you many desires, fears, lust, greed et cetera.
(2) Look back again at your past to see how many you had offended and with how many had you wanted sex.
(3) Every one has got skeletons in his/her cup-board.

soham wrote:

Mist wrote:I confess that I do not have the need to confess anything, this confession being the one and only exception to that.

(1) If you do an honest self-introspection, you will end up discovering in you many desires, fears, lust, greed et cetera.
(2) Look back again at your past to see how many you had offended and with how many had you wanted sex.
(3) Every one has got skeletons in his/her cup-board.

...and this all is supposed to mean that I should "confess" all of that to some random nitwit? I don't think so.

The point of a confessions thread is to empty out your proverbial closet.

By dragging your skeletons out and parading them around, you wield power over them, and power over your own fears.

If it's not for you, that's fine, but try to be nice to people while you're here please. You're not contributing anything by calling other members names.

I confess that I have no intention of relinquishing my sexuality in this lifetime.

This forum is a congregation and so as you confess, your hidden burden reduces thereby giving you mental relief. Confessions bring evil inside you to the surface/fore and once exposed, it disappears thus giving a cathartic effect. In course of time, evil propensities/tendencies get paralyzed and eventually they do get disappeared.
By the way, I only had started this thread at OF with the above intention.

Forgive me if "random nitwit" was interpreted as being offensive.
I just can't grasp how confessing something would relieve me in some way or solve anything at all.

Is it because I might lack any kind of guilt for something I have done?
Or maybe the way I interpret the doing something "evil" (that might lead to a later confession) differs greatly from other people?
I wouldn't really know :/

If you hide your wrong-doing, it will stagnate & fester. If you reveal your ill-deeds, you will become like fragrant flowing water.

But what if something I would have done is considered wrong by others, but not by me...
How would that stagnate & fester when I would not know what exactly I did wrong?

"wrong-doing" is very relative in my opinion.
I don't see how one can truly claim what is right or wrong.

For example, should the Christian perspective be proven the correct one and people are judged wether to go to Hell or to Heaven depending on how much one has sinned and done good, then I would still do whatever I want to and not focus on written religious rules, so that I am judged correctly and for who I am, not who I pretend to be.

In my view, wrong and right are terms merely used to adjust a person's behavior, mostly to turn people into sheep-minded creatures, copying the actions of the rest of their kind.
I want my life to be based on experiences, rather than never doing something because "I am not supposed to do so", so for me there is no right or wrong, just events that occur.

Any thing that is conducive and is a means to Self-realization is right and any thing which takes you away from your inner spiritual goal is wrong.

Oh my I remember this thread. Anyway:

From Twilight of the Idols:

10. Not to perpetrate cowardice against one's own acts! Not to leave them in the lurch afterward! The bite of conscience is indecent.

From Liber Al vel Legis:

46. Dost thou fail? Art thou sorry? Is fear in thine heart?

47. Where I am these are not .

Weather is so hot over here nowadays that I often imagine beautiful boys in nights for sexual intercourse and subsequent semenal emission.

I am resisting hard the seductions by the labour girls who work for the house that I am constructing for me nowadays.

I am writing this not to gain sympathy nor to seek any advice.
I just want to write this down for no apparent reason maybe
out of boredom.

1.) I smoke a lot that it wouldn't be surprising if I die in my early years.
2.) I am a sadist I take pleasure in seeing people's pain, I take pleasure in
seeing shattered dreams, blood. I have seen people die in my very eyes but I
do not feel any remorse I actually enjoyed it.
3.) I am a very selfish person I will never move an inch without any good reason.
I will not help people out of self contentment the feeling of helping someone out
of good will does not interest me.
4.) I grew up in a place where violence is as common as grass. In my early days
it would not be surprising to have a fist fight a day. And most of the time
the reason is self defense but most of the time I really enjoy seeing others in pain.
5.) I have always cursed my brother I have always wished to be given a good chance to kill him.
back then in my early years I was always beaten up by him sometimes for small mistakes
most of the time for no apparent reason at all. The main reason is that he used to sexually
abuse me. Until now those memory always linger and I will never forgive him even at this
time he is very kind to me.

I invariably get sexual feelings for teen waitors serving me in restaurants.

I have taken to consuming country liquor nowadays.

It is better to beg forgiveness
than ask for permission

---

When I was 10 or 11 I accidentally set a couch we had in the garage on fire. When the fire men came I blamed it on another kid who had visited me that day.

I am guilty of pontification.

I hate spiders. All except daddy long-legs.

I am a slob about house cleaning.

I guess that's all of my sins :rolleyes:........