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I just got fixed after pulling a few stunts... I have to build up energy... Its great, but rather difficult... I am unsure as to what this is really... I would like to not have to make positive comments all the time, so I am wondering if there is a way to suppress this energy drain... I do not want to have to constantly make positive comments... If this is the case then I will probably will have to stick with the Christians... Any ideas? I really do not like this... Its been an aimless life, and now I have to keep this energy up!

Speaking as someone who has struggled with insanity a fair bit in the past, I can honestly say that if you find yourself fighting against madness you should stop doing whatever it is thats causing you to lose your grip on reality and do something else instead. As for driving yourself insane, you will probably never drive yourself completely insane through a study of the occult, but you could develop some nasty psychosis, which isnt fun. So if you find yourself losing sight of what is real and slipping into a fantasy world, then maybe taking a step back and getting to grips with whats real in your life might be for the best for a while.

It is true however that when a person completely loses their mind they dont realise that this has occured, so if you think you have gone crazy then you more than likely havent. If you are afraid of madness however then just take a break from your occult studies and go do something else for a while - the occult will still be here when you feel better and more confident to continue.