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Here is something that I would like to share and get some opinions on:

There is a part of my mind that rears its head when I am pushed into a corner and feel trapped. So far I have managed to control it, but I know that if the right situation came about I would no longer be able to hold onto reason (at my current stage of mental development). I'm not really scared of it. I realize that it is a very real part of myself and I have faced it many times. In gaining more control within myself and my mind I know that I will be able to avoid the possibility of snapping and allowing it to be free. I have very strong reasons to believe that this part of me did not originate in this lifetime and that it is something that has carried itself forward (first part of the reason for asking opinions of occult-minded pee opples. The second part of the reason is more just that I find the occult-minded GENERALLY have an understanding of the mind that I tend to agree with)

When I have nowhere else to go, when I feel there is nowhere else to turn -blah blah blah- this surge or wave of intention comes into me and it consumes my every thought. All I want to do is cut people open, smash their skulls in, rip out their entrails and burn them etc. Just want to cause as much carnage and damage to the human form as possible. And revel in it. Just to soak it up. The intention does not come through in verbal thought but in really strong and realistic visual images.

I feel that there are past life things that are really strong and need to be dealt with and understood. I strongly do not believe that this is but a psychological problem. I believe that the only psychological component lies in my ability to control it and wrap my mind around it. I know that if I were in a situation where such a temperament were needed that it would come greatly in handy, so I do not consider it a bad thing at all (quite similar to the Norse beserker).

I am of the opinion that there are others here that have experienced similar things. I tend not to share this sort of thing with people, as there have been only very few who have had the capacity to understand without saying "what the fuck?" [wink]

First up,great title.

We exist,like matter,in at least three states,lol.Solid/liquid/gas comparing to physical /mental/spiritual and so on...only it's all rolled and tied together in varying degrees.

I can explain the physical,how the mechanism works and the mental in how it affects the mind,but the psyche/spiritual part is tough to describe as openly or as easily as the first two.It is the glue of the mechanism,I suppose and the overarching dynamic that feeds it.[just my own thoughts,so far]

There is a part of my mind that rears its head when I am pushed into a corner and feel trapped. So far I have managed to control it, but I know that if the right situation came about I would no longer be able to hold onto reason (at my current stage of mental development).

I am 46 now and I still struggle with it.

There is a huge beast within me and it gets antsy really fast.I get intrusive thoughts and the desire to act on them still bites down hard.I find the only safety valve that works for me,is stepping away from the cause.I have to get away and not be 'in the room' anymore,so to speak.

I have no worries about the actions,should they spew forth,it's the possible consequences that bother me.I have family I don't want to be seperated from,so that is the defining restraint for me.

I do realise this is showing me in a less than perfect light,but ,meh,I never claimed I am a good person.I 'm mostly decent,most of the time and that is as good as it gets.

I have let loose in the past and on one occasion it saved my life,but on another it foreshortened the other person's by a fair degree,which I am a bit sad about. They were the aggressor,though and I can't always make the right call in a split second event.I call that human,more than anything else,so I don't beat myself up about it.

It's not so much the reaction,as the intensity that scares me and has scared others around me too.

I am returning your openness here,with some of my own.I also don't usually talk much about this.

I have very strong reasons to believe that this part of me did not originate in this lifetime and that it is something that has carried itself forward (first part of the reason for asking opinions of occult-minded peoples. The second part of the reason is more just that I find the occult-minded GENERALLY have an understanding of the mind that I tend to agree with)
I feel that there are past life things that are really strong and need to be dealt with and understood. I strongly do not believe that this is but a psychological problem. I believe that the only psychological component lies in my ability to control it and wrap my mind around it. I know that if I were in a situation where such a temperament were needed that it would come greatly in handy, so I do not consider it a bad thing at all (quite similar to the Norse beserker).

Yes.We have Ancestral guardians that embody the spirits of all who went before us,in the Disir.The mighty spirits of the dead and once living.The Berserkergang is said to pass in family line,just like Spae and Seid skills do.Seid literally means to seethe or boil and the most powerful workings are rooted in an emotionally and psycho spiritually intense trance/dance/movement bound manner of achieving gnosis.Genetic memory inheritance indeed,it plays a strong part,I believe in harnessing and learning control of these abilities,though,some, like me are never fully in control.....

Nowadays it's the subject of much Scientific research too.

I am of the opinion that there are others here that have experienced similar things. I tend not to share this sort of thing with people, as there have been only very few who have had the capacity to understand without saying "what the fuck?" [wink]

Well,I think that you are correct there,though I've found some who get it too in the Occult community,most folk automatically think: Sociopath..ooh err.

I believe that something similar affects present life phobias - past life experiences, such as how you died or cultural fears or experiences leak over from past lives into our present ones and cause irrational fears. These past life memories also affect how we relate to our environment, and explain why we react so intrinsically to situations we have no experience of, or why we immediately gel with certain people or situations.

I also personally believe that we carry with us friendships from life to life, and we subconciously seek out past life acquaintances some how. Since the advent of the internet this has become much easier, and I think in time it will become easier still.

I believe past life events do not exist. Simply moving forward and not dealing with something in life can go into our sub/unconscious and come out in extreme ways. Our present is a culmination of our past experiences in life and are coming out do to your feeling of injustice of the world, person ect make a quantum leap (nothing happens when you are at 99.999%, but once you get to 100% things happen). This can happen unexpectedly and you may be able to deal with 99% of your limit without making any changes to your thoughts/actions, or noticing at all, but that 1% can be a killer.

I believe in reincarnation to some degree, but I'm curious as to why you automatically write off a psychological cause to your problems? Have you seen a mental health professional and been evaluated?

Feels to me a bit like you're getting ahead of yourself and skipping the simplest conclusion.

Rin wrote:I believe in reincarnation to some degree, but I'm curious as to why you automatically write off a psychological cause to your problems? Have you seen a mental health professional and been evaluated?

Feels to me a bit like you're getting ahead of yourself and skipping the simplest conclusion.

I can understand why you would think that. I think you miss the point of what I have described. However, I do thank you for what appears to be concern. And I am sure it comes from a good place
Firstly, I did not automatically write off a psychological cause to this, and secondly I do not consider it a problem. When I first encountered this, yes I thought it was purely psychological, that I had pushed some buttons that were not meant to be pushed. When it first arose in my life I became completely psychotic as a result. I was not capable of even handling it to the smallest degree. It did cause a psychological problem. My mind, my life, my spirit were healed by the Sacred Ayahuasca. She taught me a lot about this and I will forever be grateful to this awesome spirit. I would not have handled this alone.

Have I been evaluated by a mental health professional? No. Nor will I choose to be.

Thank you for your replies All. Thanks Nahemah for your openness and your honesty. I do appreciate that greatly.