An account of my first day of practice
Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 4:35 pm
So, after years and years and years of reading and yearning for the real thing, but having no patience for months on end of meditation before anything happened, I decided yesterday to start practicing, as responsibly as I could think of, but freely. I would like to know your thoughts on it.
First, I did ten minutes of motionlessness. This was not much different from zazen practice, but easier, since I was lying down. The mind rushes, lots of thoughts come forward without notice and go away, and then you start noticing that the bodily perceptions have a life of their own. That the waking consciousness is most of the times split for how the body and mind works, as if observing from above.
After that, I trained what some authors describe as some sort of magic consciousness for a stretch of five to ten minutes. That is, to listen, look and feel my surroundings as if everything around it had meaning and it was trying to tell me some of it. Well, nothing except the nagging feeling that consensus reality seems to be hiding something. And that my microwave oven seemed to beep a couple three more times than it should have.
I then devised a sigil, so I could see something in a dream.
Then practicing banishing, based on the form that is present on ''Stealing the fire from heave''. It appeals to me because we have to imagine the encirclement on fire, and fire is an element that appeals immensely to me. Then trying to summon some energy with Osman Spare's Neither/Neither technique. A vague feeling of potency remains. Charge the sigil by visualizing it on the moment of orgasm and sending it outward into the world. Banish again to end the ritual.
Before sleep, and this is where it gets interesting: I am going to try to lucid dream by relaxing my body and following the visions that come. Lucid dreaming and sleep paralysis are nothing new to me, they've been ocurring for years. So, when I start, I get visions of a burning, translucent gem, and then a room begins to reveal itself around it. Vaguely arabic, in a nigthly penumbra. This changes into a number of other visions. An impressive night sky that seems to be cracking open with star light. I am not forcing any of this, but I am not nearly asleep either. It's just coming. Then it's like a few hands start putting a scene into perspective. Like someone is arranging a scenery on stage. I'm on my ex-girlfriend's bedroom. Just like her bedroom. We are still involved, still unsure if things are going to end or not. She's in bed, looking at her cellphone. It's 3:30 AM. A number of dark shadows hang on to her window, hostile to me. They try to encompass me and my vision is blurred black. I am scared shitless, but banish, and they stay at bay. Clearly visualizing my protective encirclement, they can't touch me. My head tingles heavily, just as when I am about to go into sleep paralyzis. THis has happened moments before trying this exercise to. I kneel beside her, giver a kiss on the cheek, and let the scenery dissolve. Other imagens come along. Spiders crawling on rocks. I am sitting in a couch in a blue aether. A man in a white suit and fedora looks at me with a dog. A ball is at the couch's side. I throw it at the dog and the man approaches. Monster/dog face, black, red eyes. Looks like the Exu entity Zé Pilintra. I ask for his name. Benzit or something like that. What does he want? Does not answer with words, but proximity seems to be it. It's enough for a night. I wake up. Banish. I'm tingling all over. I have not been asleep, this was not a lucid dream, but I sure as hell didn't IMAGINE this.
First, I did ten minutes of motionlessness. This was not much different from zazen practice, but easier, since I was lying down. The mind rushes, lots of thoughts come forward without notice and go away, and then you start noticing that the bodily perceptions have a life of their own. That the waking consciousness is most of the times split for how the body and mind works, as if observing from above.
After that, I trained what some authors describe as some sort of magic consciousness for a stretch of five to ten minutes. That is, to listen, look and feel my surroundings as if everything around it had meaning and it was trying to tell me some of it. Well, nothing except the nagging feeling that consensus reality seems to be hiding something. And that my microwave oven seemed to beep a couple three more times than it should have.
I then devised a sigil, so I could see something in a dream.
Then practicing banishing, based on the form that is present on ''Stealing the fire from heave''. It appeals to me because we have to imagine the encirclement on fire, and fire is an element that appeals immensely to me. Then trying to summon some energy with Osman Spare's Neither/Neither technique. A vague feeling of potency remains. Charge the sigil by visualizing it on the moment of orgasm and sending it outward into the world. Banish again to end the ritual.
Before sleep, and this is where it gets interesting: I am going to try to lucid dream by relaxing my body and following the visions that come. Lucid dreaming and sleep paralysis are nothing new to me, they've been ocurring for years. So, when I start, I get visions of a burning, translucent gem, and then a room begins to reveal itself around it. Vaguely arabic, in a nigthly penumbra. This changes into a number of other visions. An impressive night sky that seems to be cracking open with star light. I am not forcing any of this, but I am not nearly asleep either. It's just coming. Then it's like a few hands start putting a scene into perspective. Like someone is arranging a scenery on stage. I'm on my ex-girlfriend's bedroom. Just like her bedroom. We are still involved, still unsure if things are going to end or not. She's in bed, looking at her cellphone. It's 3:30 AM. A number of dark shadows hang on to her window, hostile to me. They try to encompass me and my vision is blurred black. I am scared shitless, but banish, and they stay at bay. Clearly visualizing my protective encirclement, they can't touch me. My head tingles heavily, just as when I am about to go into sleep paralyzis. THis has happened moments before trying this exercise to. I kneel beside her, giver a kiss on the cheek, and let the scenery dissolve. Other imagens come along. Spiders crawling on rocks. I am sitting in a couch in a blue aether. A man in a white suit and fedora looks at me with a dog. A ball is at the couch's side. I throw it at the dog and the man approaches. Monster/dog face, black, red eyes. Looks like the Exu entity Zé Pilintra. I ask for his name. Benzit or something like that. What does he want? Does not answer with words, but proximity seems to be it. It's enough for a night. I wake up. Banish. I'm tingling all over. I have not been asleep, this was not a lucid dream, but I sure as hell didn't IMAGINE this.
I do believe someone or something tried to convey something of importance to you- or even tried to make an impression upon your waking subconscious, and no I don't mean the conscious. The impressions were certainly more than imagination- and something coalescent of both spirit and subconscious- and with yourself being SPIRITUALLY aware it becomes a waking subconscious state. This in my opinion is the epitome of utilization of the mind in any working. It is the state most often yearned for by dabblers and never achieved as it is a state of mind that calls forth our powers of creation. Next time- instead of a sigil- try focusing on the specific entity or the Gem itself. If as you stated this was your first ever WORKING ( Not sure if you mean of ANY kind- or in this specific field) this was a very incredible experience and not one to be taken for granted. You may well be more potent than you realize spiritually. I myself was always receptive and very aware of the spirits vs myself. I just recently took a three year break from practice to become SELF aware vs Spiritually. What you described however leaves you vulnerable- and out of concern for you I would recommend (if you have never done ANY Magick) looking into charging the aura protectively or creating a sigil for protection. I myself have been yanked very hard from the real world and trapped in the astral for days there (since time seemed to have no bearing there w/o something to gauge the amount of TIME I was there) only to finally return to my physical body after several hours in THIS plane of existence. Beings can influence or infect so to speak- the untrained mind. I myself was surprised to have been touched and almost tainted. I was ignorant and very much new to the practice of recognizing the difference between myself and my spirit- and even more so between my spiritual mind and outside influences from that which resides around me. I look forward to hearing more of your practices as you seem possess innate or familial talent. Have you tried to research your family or asked about whether or not any of your family has ever been affiliated with the occult/magick?