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I have no idea where to begin! I have been meditating (not heavily but at least twice a week continuously) .
I've always had an interest in seeking answers in life, questioning everything down to the meaning of life, the how's and why's of it all.
I've read a bit about Goetic "demons(?)" But not much. I never know what's true information on the internet.
I'm not sure what area of theology I want to study, I'm not sure where to begin.
I've always wanted a teacher , someone to show me the way to higher self awareness, I feel like lately I've been diluted by the weight of the physical world.
Any books I could read up on?
I've been seeking answers in my meditation, even just a little whisper in my ear to tell me which way to turn. I've been thinking about trying to make contact with an enitity, are there any that specify in teaching, do they all have lessons to teach? I'm very new to this. I've always had strong energy, and I've always been attracted to all things occult. The idea of magic in the world has always made sense to me. Things not meant to be explained.

Modern Magick by Donald Michael Kraig

Liber Null & Psychonaut: An Introduction to Chaos Magic by Peter J. Carroll

Welcome to the beginning of the rest of your life.

1. Leave the demons alone until you know more about the occult. This includes all demons, not just Goetic ones.
2. Learn how to actively listen. Don't try to understand, simply absorb. Understanding will come in time.
3. Find a paradigm you are interested in - don't try to learn everything all at once.
4. Don't give up - this takes a long time to learn.
5. Don't get sucked in by con artists - if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
6. Ask a lot of questions - no question is stupid. If someone treats you like an idiot for asking questions then that's their problem, not yours.

In choosing a paradigm:

1. Write down everything that interests you about the occult.
2. Write down everything that DOESN'T interest you about the occult (this is important)
3. Research the key words from step 1, and find linkages between them.
4. Start from the absolute beginning, don't try to run before you can walk.
5. Make a decision as to whether you can study your paradigm for the next year, at least. If you can't, go find another paradigm.

Useful tools to get basic skills and an understanding of core principles:

1. Peter Carroll's 'Liber MMM': http://www.chaosmatrix.org/library/chao ... ermmm.html
2. Franz Bardon's 'Initiation into Hermetics': http://tikaboo.com/library/Initiation%2 ... rmetic.pdf

I've probably missed a whole bunch of things, but that should give you a place to start. Remember to practice the things you learn, try to remain positive - a dedicated study of the occult takes a long time, and remember to think.