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In another thread Maya The Generator brought up something that made me think.

What is arrogance?

What is confidence?

What are the differences?

What are the similarities?

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I personally believe the major difference between the two can be seen when someone encounters failure.

A confident person embraces failure, takes ownership/responsibility over their failure and moves forward attempting to learn from their mistakes.

An arrogant person refuses to acknowledge or take ownership/responsibility over their failure.

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Your thoughts?

My take is that arrogance is confidence despite incompetence, while confidence is understanding and acknowledgment of one's own capability.

The Dunning Kreuger effect describes arrogance quite well.

Arrogance comes from the ego, confidence comes from knowledge (although of course, false knowledge can lead to false confidence).

Confidence is when you can back your shit up.

Very often it's just how you act towards other people:

Confidence - I can do this, I'm the best.
Arrogance - I can do this, I'm better then you.

There is however another thing that can irritate people, and that is the lack of experience when facing a new situation.

Confidence - I should be able to do this, I've done something similar in the past.
Arrogance - I can do this because I'm a fucking genius.

Then you just have the straight asshole version:

Confidence - I can do this!
Arrogance - I can do this, you can't, you fucking retard.



Then of course we have the textbook example:

Confident
Very sure of something; positive
("I'm pretty confident that she's not lying, she's acting normally.")

Arrogance:
The act or habit of arrogating, or making undue claims in an overbearing manner;

I agree with a few responses in this thread, but I'll add my own as well. Probably reiterating some things already mentioned, but oh well

I think arrogance is a cover for insecurity, whereas confidence is a knowing and accepting of one's Self.

Basically, an arrogant person needs to compensate for their lack of understanding/ability/knowledge to maintain the image their Ego continually defines for themselves. I've noticed in a few people that the Little Death (Death of Ego through psychedelics or 'Becoming') completely eradicates their once arrogant attitude -- if only for a little while before they 'rebuild' themselves. This type of experience usually introduces the idea of respect as well. So I'd further define arrogance as having a lack of respect for other people.

An arrogant person seems to always have to cover for something with a remark, or point out the failings of others.

Confident people don't care about shit like that. They accept people for who they are, and even encourage them in order to develop their own confidence. I doubt an arrogant person would ever try to develop someone else's confidence without expecting something in return.

Confidence is gained through experience, and I think true confidence is the result of disconnecting from the Ego definitions and allowing your energy to 'flow' in any situation. Confidence is said to reside in the Solar Plexus -- which is also said to correspond with emotional stability and the formation of our Being.

Arrogance is simple **misplaced** confidence, it's not earned or deserved.

I think we are all mostly in agreement.

Next question.

How/why/when/who confuses the two? Misplacing confidence for arrogance or vice versa?

magari wrote:I think we are all mostly in agreement.

Next question.

How/why/when/who confuses the two? Misplacing confidence for arrogance or vice versa?

I think others have succinctly defined confidence/arrogance. But there is a fine line between arrogance and confidence I would say this is because the world, universe, and the truth are complex. Confidence and arrogance rely on that very fine line when what you believe to be true is true, and even then, it might be a simple truth, not the complex Truth, with the capital T. At some point in our existence we accumulate all these simple truths and we feel confident about what we know and how well we know it. But if we keep expanding these simple truths, see how complex the Truth actually is, while we now know more now, we realize we know less than there is to know. We are better aware of our ignorance, how wide and complex everything is, and any given moment what we knew to be true, while true then, may no longer be true. Sure we were confident about what we knew, even accurate in our confidence, but looking back we might see ourselves as arrogant because we know so much more about what we didn't know then.

Sorry if that is a bit of a tangent, it was more self-reflectory than trying to understand arrogance/confidence as we appear to others and they appear to us. Impressions people have of others are pretty inaccurate as most people make judgements about someone, don't attempt to understand them on any deeper level, and then use confirmation bias to ignore the truth that contradicts their view of the person and accept only the things that uphold it. Most people would rather keep believing the lie about who someone is than accept they were wrong or take the time to understand/adjust their view of them. So with that in mind I find the arrogance/confidence discussion only really viable if you are looking inward, rather than outward.

magari wrote:I think we are all mostly in agreement.

Next question.

How/why/when/who confuses the two? Misplacing confidence for arrogance or vice versa?

People who are already under stress or views the world more negative.

If you think the whole world is against you even constructive criticism can feel like a personal attack. If somebody comes of as very strong and confident, it can feel threatening to somebody who isn't confident.

BUT,
There is also a virtue in trying to communicate with other people without upsetting them. This is not always possible, and I am certainly not an expert on the subject. But trying to understand the situation from their point of view often helps.

If you are confident and somebody sees you as arrogant, a good suggestion would be to tone it down a little. Blaming them, isn't going to help.

Magic is never about forcing something, it's about being loose, having no fixed form, being flexible and learning how to tune into the energies around us and how to work them.
Not forcing them to work., That will never yield results.
So when you manipulate other people (aka, talking to them). It's not about finding the right words that will always work in every situation. It's about finding the right words that will work in this situation. (Objectivity is only good in philosophy class. It doesn't mater who is right or wrong, as long as you win.)

You have to adept to them and understand them before you can change them.
It has to feel like the change was their idea all along. If they have an opinion of you, change that opinion by behaving differently and get them to doubt their previous thought.
Pointing it out to them, will only make them more defensive.

magari wrote:I think we are all mostly in agreement.

Next question.

How/why/when/who confuses the two? Misplacing confidence for arrogance or vice versa?

Well confident people can seem arrogant, especially to those who don't know them. People can be both confident and arrogant. Arrogant people may project their arrogance onto others. People with low self-worth may call confident people arrogant to feel better about themselves. There's tons of things.