Too much energy in my spine;
Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 10:25 am
So, I've been slowly performing a Kundalini meditation called "the Front-Back method" for around 2 years. My first intrigue with Kundalini came from my intense experiences on LSD, where, in hindsight, was probably the start of a forced awakening.
A few days ago, I had an intense emotional outpour. I was attacked magically several times, to the point where I vomited (intense argument with my significant other, she's really good at projecting bad vibes.) After a short while of altercation, as well as a time of introspection together, immediately afterwards, a huge energetic blockage in my throat area cleared out (let's say there was some crying involved, and it did wonders.)
After that throat blockage busted out (which I've also been fighting for a few years, a little at a time), the energy that had stagnated just under my heart flew up to my brain. I've also been practicing pranayama (sp?) meditations now and again, running my intent up and down along my spine through my energetic centers.
Now, considering the recent successes I've had with the few low spells I've cast, and after doing a significant amount more research on the topics of kundalini and Qi in general, I feel as though I'm climbing over the apex of my awakening process.
I don't think I'm quite there, as I don't feel very different that I used to. The only difference is that I notice myself more often. I remember to keep a pin-point attention more often than I used to. Sometimes, my consciousness slips back down. I can literally feel my center of focus originating from my mouth/nose area, rather than from the middle of my forehead or the middle of my brain. When this happens, and I recover from it, it's almost like a black-out moment. I was just thinking about seemingly important things, but I have literally no recollection of my time spent in a lower state.
The past couple days, I've been doing my best to clear out the energetic blockages I still have. There are a few, and seeing as how I'm not trained in any type of physical art that would help me stay fit energetically, I seem to get a lot of stagnated energy in my body. Especially around existing blockages.
Currently, my throat area still has a tense feeling, although not nearly as tight as it used to be. The area around my heart and lungs also has a few tight spots, but I'm wary about messing with that area, given Bardon's instructions to avoid charging the heart with vital energy. Other than that, I feel pretty cleared out.
For at least the past few hours, and probably longer if I was actually paying attention, my spine has been burning up with energy. It feels really warm, in my spine alone, focusing close to the bottom of my heart most intensely. It's gotten to the point that I'm a little bit worried. It doesn't necessarily hurt, but it's unpleasant enough to be worthy of this post, which is a rare thing for me these days.
Earlier in the day, I attempted to fill myself with an excess of fire-based intent, to deal with the cold temperatures outside, but I was moderately unsuccessful. I got a short burst of warmth while I managed to stay focused, but it faded quickly and proved to be a useless waste of energy and time.
I recently (within the hour) tried filling myself with a little bit of cold energy, as well as trying to project the warmth from my body, and while the cold eased my spine for a moment, after a short moment, it heated back up to the point of overpowering any coldness I could provide.
I'm just curious what kind of changes or additions to my practice I should make to assure nothing goes wrong in my body at this stage. I'll admit to a certain degree that I'm moderately clueless as to what I'm actually doing here, over-all. It's not easy pieces together a working understanding of reality from every source of information you've obtained, and I'm sure more than a good portion of what I know is somehow flawed. Honestly, I'm to the point where I don't even remember how I know half of the things I seemingly know. I've just put pieces together, and from somewhere beyond, I've managed to be successful in my work and actually maintain a certain level of confidence in myself.
Thank you for anyone who managed to read through here, and an especial thanks to anyone who can offer some assistance to me. I'm open to all words.
(Before it is questioned, this is absolutely caused by magick practice, so going to a doctor at this particular stage is out of the question. That only becomes an option when it causes unpleasant symptoms that I cannot live with.)
A few days ago, I had an intense emotional outpour. I was attacked magically several times, to the point where I vomited (intense argument with my significant other, she's really good at projecting bad vibes.) After a short while of altercation, as well as a time of introspection together, immediately afterwards, a huge energetic blockage in my throat area cleared out (let's say there was some crying involved, and it did wonders.)
After that throat blockage busted out (which I've also been fighting for a few years, a little at a time), the energy that had stagnated just under my heart flew up to my brain. I've also been practicing pranayama (sp?) meditations now and again, running my intent up and down along my spine through my energetic centers.
Now, considering the recent successes I've had with the few low spells I've cast, and after doing a significant amount more research on the topics of kundalini and Qi in general, I feel as though I'm climbing over the apex of my awakening process.
I don't think I'm quite there, as I don't feel very different that I used to. The only difference is that I notice myself more often. I remember to keep a pin-point attention more often than I used to. Sometimes, my consciousness slips back down. I can literally feel my center of focus originating from my mouth/nose area, rather than from the middle of my forehead or the middle of my brain. When this happens, and I recover from it, it's almost like a black-out moment. I was just thinking about seemingly important things, but I have literally no recollection of my time spent in a lower state.
The past couple days, I've been doing my best to clear out the energetic blockages I still have. There are a few, and seeing as how I'm not trained in any type of physical art that would help me stay fit energetically, I seem to get a lot of stagnated energy in my body. Especially around existing blockages.
Currently, my throat area still has a tense feeling, although not nearly as tight as it used to be. The area around my heart and lungs also has a few tight spots, but I'm wary about messing with that area, given Bardon's instructions to avoid charging the heart with vital energy. Other than that, I feel pretty cleared out.
For at least the past few hours, and probably longer if I was actually paying attention, my spine has been burning up with energy. It feels really warm, in my spine alone, focusing close to the bottom of my heart most intensely. It's gotten to the point that I'm a little bit worried. It doesn't necessarily hurt, but it's unpleasant enough to be worthy of this post, which is a rare thing for me these days.
Earlier in the day, I attempted to fill myself with an excess of fire-based intent, to deal with the cold temperatures outside, but I was moderately unsuccessful. I got a short burst of warmth while I managed to stay focused, but it faded quickly and proved to be a useless waste of energy and time.
I recently (within the hour) tried filling myself with a little bit of cold energy, as well as trying to project the warmth from my body, and while the cold eased my spine for a moment, after a short moment, it heated back up to the point of overpowering any coldness I could provide.
I'm just curious what kind of changes or additions to my practice I should make to assure nothing goes wrong in my body at this stage. I'll admit to a certain degree that I'm moderately clueless as to what I'm actually doing here, over-all. It's not easy pieces together a working understanding of reality from every source of information you've obtained, and I'm sure more than a good portion of what I know is somehow flawed. Honestly, I'm to the point where I don't even remember how I know half of the things I seemingly know. I've just put pieces together, and from somewhere beyond, I've managed to be successful in my work and actually maintain a certain level of confidence in myself.
Thank you for anyone who managed to read through here, and an especial thanks to anyone who can offer some assistance to me. I'm open to all words.
(Before it is questioned, this is absolutely caused by magick practice, so going to a doctor at this particular stage is out of the question. That only becomes an option when it causes unpleasant symptoms that I cannot live with.)