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I went thru the dark night of the soul a few years ago and did some stupid shit. Nobody got hurt but the newspapers made it sound ten times worse that it was and I haven't been in a serious relationship or had a proper job since. It has completely destroyed my life. When I meet a new person everything is going great but Im always thinking that it's only a matter of time and then they ghost me and I'm proven right. This has happened so many times now that it's just the way it is and there's no recourse. The second I get even the slightest hint of anything resembling happiness I remember it and it completely throws me back down the well and I've come to the conclusion that I will never be happy and I am legitimately going to die alone.

How do I keep my vibration high knowing everybody hates me because of mistakes of the past? Is there even any point if anybody I like or attempt to love is just going to fuck off after a few days or weeks?
Serious question, should I just start again?
Thanks in advance.

The essence of being liked/loved is to love yourself. The love you have for yourself is the core of your humanity and that attracts other humans that love.

This is contrasted with humans that like power over others and that use emotional attachment to control them.

Here is an exercise to practise loving yourself. It is all most humans need for many years.

https://www.occultforum.org/viewtopic.p ... rt#p526433

The exercise will progressively heal the physical, emotional and mental bodies. You can heal yourself - if you are prepared to put in the effort.

Thank you I'll have a look now. I've been trying to forgive and love myself but after a lifetime of hating myself it's a hard habit to break. I appreciate the reply.

Start doing Salt Baths/Showers on a daily basis. This will cleanse crap off your energy. Have a healthy diet and exercise regularly....if your a man, get involved in martial arts and get punched in the face.....this will help you grow. Men grow through challenge.

Practice internal transformation to help boost your confidence. There are so many ways to do this....i don't really know what skill sets you have available to you....but a simple one is to say a prayer to your HGA to help boost your confidence and cleanse out the crap in your system that's hindering you in that area. Make this a daily practice and keep at it for 7 years.

I get punched in the face more regularly that I'd like tbh so that's not problem and I gave up wanking and have been doing several forms of alchemy like neidan and reading Montak chia etc but it seems pointless if you're just going to be judged constantly. How do you learn not to give up a fuck once and for all?

That's meant to say 'how do you learn not to give a fuck once and for all' ffs

Confidence....have a focused practice to grow it. Once it reaches a certain peak....you will not give a fuck about what others think. I would stay away from Mantak....some of his practices can be unbalanced.

If you want more individual help, i do free lance (money) energy work....but if you have the right tools at your disposal, you can do it yourself.

I would agree here with Amor's advice about learning to love yourself. The old axiom "As above, so below" is worth meditating on. If you change yourself, the world and the people around you will also change. As for how to do that, I am also still figuring it out. Yourself is the most difficult person to love; all of your flaws and mistakes and sins are laid bare before you, and your shadow is inescapable. I am slowly making my way there, and my life is slowly improving as I learn to accept my past for what it is, and work towards my future.

You could also try frequently performing a banishing ritual, such as the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, to cleanse your energy and the energy of your surroundings.

borealis wrote: ↑Tue Jun 15, 2021 7:08 pmYourself is the most difficult person to love

For most humans, emotions are love but this is a lower expression of love and in difficult situations often hard to manage.

A higher form of love is the energy that comes from the heart. This can be projected as light. Since our god is a god of love, the flow of spirit that anchors in the heart is by definition love.

Thus a higher form of love can be used to nurture the human personality.

Using the heart is much more effective than using a damaged personality to love itself.

See link earlier in the thread

A basic chi kung exercise that's helpful for shifting your energy. Doing 20 minutes of this a day is fire for your Qi.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL0MromO7yE

HorseloverFat wrote: ↑Tue Jun 08, 2021 7:54 am When I meet a new person everything is going great but Im always thinking that it's only a matter of time and then they ghost me and I'm proven right.

I mean, that kinda spells out the cause & effect relationship right there.

You're orchestrating your own failure. Stop manifesting your fear.

Thank you everyone for your replies. It's very much appreciated. I haven't been on here in awhile because I went thru a 'Jesus' phase but I've snapped out of it now and getting back into the Great Work. Hope everyone is well. Much Love.

You seem brighter - making inner progress

Amor wrote: ↑Sun Jun 05, 2022 9:43 pm You seem brighter - making inner progress

I'm definitely in a better place than I was last year A few small changes can have drastic ripple effects over time. Leaving the Christian paradigm was also a good idea because both the orthodox and gnostic outlook led me into a negative mindset. It's only when I got completely out that I realised how deeply ingrained the control mechanism is. Making someone believe they're born in original sin simply for existing is seriously messed up. I'm glad I didn't throw away all.my occult books now cuz I've still got a lot of work to do. Hope you're well

Be careful to deserve good outcomes. Taking benefits that you do not deserve will cause karmic problems

Its useful when asking the question: "How do i rase my vibration?"........to ask the opposite question......"what causes my vibration to be harmed/lowered?"

What harms one's vibration? Look at life and analyze all the different energies interacting with your sphere. (TV, Family, Friends, Groups, Hobbies, Music, Work........etc).