Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor
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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Amor »

> getting none for my stomach issues

There is an adverse entity on the front of your stomach, sucking out your life force. You are more tolerant than I

> What if the oppression system has legitimate, valid points of view?

Certainly it does. The operators of the Oppression System are terrified that their human food supply will revolt against them and take charge of the solar system and then branch out

Stockholm syndrome?

>what have the good guys been doing to help me, here?

You have authority. Rescuing yourself is the first use of your authority. Until you use it, you are not much worth attending to.

> why not just take us by force? It doesn't add up

Some adverse groups feed off human fear. Slaves may give up hope and not fear death

>we will see actual proof and manifestation of life elsewhere,

No doubt you are asking for physical proof such as a pyramid built to specs that current humans cannot reproduce. I wonder where you will find such pyramids.

Meanwhile most aliens of consequence do not have access to physical bodies, so you are asking for proof of very dense beings. Have a look at the Google Moon. Note how many rectangles are shaded out. What is so important that Earth humans are not allowed to see?

Even the geometry of the Moon is a great problem. For example the vast craters that are flat. How does that happen? On Earth big craters are holes in the ground, but not on this side of the Moon. The other side has mountains. Why not this side?

Evidence is all around.

>Outside of a beer bottle, where am I to get help?

When you exercise your inner authority you become valuable to the planet. Wait as long as you wish

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Tue May 24, 2022 12:33 am > getting none for my stomach issues

There is an adverse entity on the front of your stomach, sucking out your life force. You are more tolerant than I



Yeah, we're friends, we have history, breaking up is hard to do you know.

> What if the oppression system has legitimate, valid points of view?

Certainly it does. The operators of the Oppression System are terrified that their human food supply will revolt against them and take charge of the solar system and then branch out

Stockholm syndrome?



Perhaps here is a middle ground? A synthetic food source for them if we work together. Imagine not hvn "adverse aliens" feeding on us any more. Wow, what a concept!

Thank God the good guys are willing to throw their own to the wolves, and count them as worthless until they grow autonomous

>what have the good guys been doing to help me, here?

You have authority. Rescuing yourself is the first use of your authority. Until you use it, you are not much worth attending to.



You are, 100% proving my previous, enraged posts. One again, you are making the case for me rebelling against my own kind. If I'm not worth giving a fuck about until I manifest my authority, and I was shown today, I have ALL AUTHORITY, why would I use energy to help the beings who care nothing for me, until I am of use to them? I am growing stronger every day, getting close to my authority, but according to you I'm worthless until I'm of worth to my origin world. I want you to read these words I am about to type, and try and apply them to your understanding,

I LITERALLY SHARE HALF OF MY HEART WITH A WOMAN OF THE OPPRESSION SYSTEM. (I cannot streets this enough, does it compute??!!!!?!!?!?!?!!!!!!!???!!!???! Stockholm syndrome or not SHE HAS SUSTAINED ME WHILE THE ONES WHO SENT ME COMPLETELY ABANDONED ME. WHICH SIDE WOULD YOU PICK?!)

THE "GOOD GUYS" DIDN'T SEE FIT TO GIVE TWO FUCKS ABOUT ME UNTIL I HAD SUFFERED ON THE VRGE OF SUICIDE FOR DECADES TO EVEN BOTHER SHOWING HER TO ME

It seems to me, the real Stockholm syndrome would be serving the cruel/inept aliens who sent me here. Let me guess, you disagree.

> why not just take us by force? It doesn't add up

Some adverse groups feed off human fear. Slaves may give up hope and not fear death



So the free fear death? I am seeing less and less of a parallel between "adverse entities" and the entities who sent me. I am of little to no value until the aliens who sent me deem I have value/worth. And my experience dictates they are as desperate, if not more so, than the aliens using us "for food".

If I had to make a diagnosis, I would say the aliens you are rooting for are so incompetent and desperate, they desperately want to use us, AS FOOD TOO. They're just a bit too far away to do it, yet.

Human race, you better beware.

>we will see actual proof and manifestation of life elsewhere,

No doubt you are asking for physical proof such as a pyramid built to specs that current humans cannot reproduce. I wonder where you will find such pyramids.

Meanwhile most aliens of consequence do not have access to physical bodies, so you are asking for proof of very dense beings. Have a look at the Google Moon. Note how many rectangles are shaded out. What is so important that Earth humans are not allowed to see?

Even the geometry of the Moon is a great problem. For example the vast craters that are flat. How does that happen? On Earth big craters are holes in the ground, but not on this side of the Moon. The other side has mountains. Why not this side?

Evidence is all around.



I think you missed a word, here, that word is UNDENIABLE. That means nobody can deny it. Such as, crafts in the sky that millions see, hovering for weeks, corroborated by billions of shares. Across every major city on the planet. THAT is undeniable. NOT Pyramids.

>Outside of a beer bottle, where am I to get help?

When you exercise your inner authority you become valuable to the planet. Wait as long as you wish
So, as a hurting, broken human child, I had little/no value. Got it. Again, the oppression system cared more about me than any other alien system. Got it. Thanks for that. Stockholm syndrome at this point would be to crawl back to my neglectors, to "be of use and value" to them. Why would I do that? You are making the decision to start a rebellion against "the unfoldment" clearer than ever. Why would I want to help entities that have had no compassion on me? Self-sacrifice (yeah, you good guys never gave a shit about me, you sacrificed me and countless others to the oppression system, giving us no defense against it, seeing which of us survived and didn't suicide out, no support system whatsoever, to basically USE US AS CANON FODDER, you gave me barely enough reason to even live, and now you want me to welcome you here???) for them to arrive here... And potentially do everything the "oppression system" did to me, just a different, roundabout way? At this point I am going to exercise my authority, but it will be to push them away.

What is your litmus of "good" vs. "adverse" entities? (serious question) The entities who sent me here seem a little too desperate and uncaring to have anything but negative [have bad] intentions for the human race. I have zero value to exist until I am of value to them. That's the definition of narcissistic selfishness.

I know she sees me as her food source, but at least when Asrael fucks me it feels good.

Bruh.

Buyer beware!

The actions of the beings you claim I am from re the actions of a desperate, parasitic race who will stop at NOTHING until the human race is enslaved and under their control.

So, what's the difference between those who oppressed me, and the ones who sent me here? What is it? I have a feeling there's a lot you're not saying. For example, the "unfoldment" includes the mass reduction of the human race (2025-2500) until we are a sustained food source for soft invading aliens. Whereas without their interference, we might have survived naturally, without "helping" them.

The irony would be, our only chance of repelling them may be our Dark Kingdom friends, below.

Perhaps my suffering clone could be their version of being fed without harming actual human beings physically.

So, what does the unfoldment of the universe entail, without cruel/inept helpers on their way to us?

How about without them?

Why the fuck should I help those who want my help to bring them here? My Stockholm syndrome isn't strong enough to do that =(
Last edited by Tundrawolf on Tue May 24, 2022 4:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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> word is UNDENIABLE. That means nobody can deny it.

Given that most Earth humans cannot control the thoughts put into their minds, you are setting an impractical standard. Whose idea was that?

>At this point I am going to exercise my authority, but it will be to push them away.

You must choose. As you will expect there is a great degree of redundancy in the system.

>What is your litmus of "good" vs. "adverse" entities?

It is to do with balancing the out-breath (to separation and matter) with the in-breath (to unity and light). All natural beings breathe light and dark energies and thus the balance cycles - for example sleeping to rebuild and waking to give.

So I look at an entity to see which stream it should work within and consider whether its cyclical light-dark balance is being deliberately biassed. Too much light is as bad and too much dark

>at least when Asrael fucks me it feels good.

So etheric and astral satisfaction is all you search for. So be it!

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Tue May 24, 2022 4:39 am > word is UNDENIABLE. That means nobody can deny it.

Given that most Earth humans cannot control the thoughts put into their minds, you are setting an impractical standard. Whose idea was that?



That's what they wanted me to believe and have faith for. Cooperation in the physical. Further, you are saying humans are too stupid to think rightly, AND YET WE'RE SO IMPORTANT ALIENS ARE SACRIFICING THEMSELVES TO GET HERE. Uh huh right. Makes perfect sense

>At this point I am going to exercise my authority, but it will be to push them away.

You must choose. As you will expect there is a great degree of redundancy in the system.



Yes, I have bee shown that. But based on how much efforts hs been expended to end me, and my light energy, I was the pivotal player piece. Good luck replacing me. Apparently I wasn't worth anything, anyway. Pardon me, but fuck your system. You're no better than the oppression system. You just go about it differently. But in the end there is no difference. How sick.

I was shown today, my home world wants nothing more than to continue their heavenly way of life- at any and all costs. They are as desperate as the native oppression system. They have the same disregard for humanity as those below do. Let me guess, this is wrong? It could be. Let me also guess, you won't address it.

>What is your litmus of "good" vs. "adverse" entities?

It is to do with balancing the out-breath (to separation and matter) with the in-breath (to unity and light). All natural beings breathe light and dark energies and thus the balance cycles - for example sleeping to rebuild and waking to give.

So I look at an entity to see which stream it should work within and consider whether its cyclical light-dark balance is being deliberately biassed. Too much light is as bad and too much dark



It must be nice to be judge of all things. Let me guess, you don't want to discuss the darkness in the light headed our way.

>at least when Asrael fucks me it feels good.

So etheric and astral satisfaction is all you search for. So be it!

If you want to ignore everything I've said, sure, whatever. Humans have these pesky things called emotions.

The beings who sent me here seem to have none. Love, value, human life means absolutely nothing to them. Why are they so desperate to get here? What do they want with us, if they are "willing to break a few eggs to make an omelet"

I notice you have countered NONE of my arguments, and focus only on bringing these beings here.

Am I to assume, they care nothing for me as a human or my alien energy, but golly. They're just going to be super nice and kind to the rest of the human race.

I will continue to practice your meditation, and working with the light as I have been. But, so far I am growing more and more suspicious of these things you are aligned with.

Have you transcended your human emotions, thoughts, etc? What use are you to the human race, outside of bringing invaders here, who cannot relate to us, and are, quite honestly, far more desperate and uncaring than any native oppression system, then? Let me guess, no answer for this. Curious

We are exchanging one oppression system for another.

And you want me to be part of it.

I've experienced one. I have no desire to welcome another. The burden of proof is with your people. I will continue searching for the truth.

What benefit does my origin world have for the human race??¿??????

"We couldn't care less about the (expendable) human being (child/teen/adult) we merge our people with, but, somehow, we want to be with and around the human race!"

Do you realize how fucking stupid that sounds? Something tells me my origin world is not desperate as all hell to get here because they want to be our good friends and allies, and sing kum-bay-ya around neat little campfires. They are a military force, sending soldier after soldier, commander after commander, to take up residence under the noses of the human race, to connect our energy to theirs. So, tell me, how is this any different from the "oppression system" you speak of? one mans oppression system is another mans freedom fighter. One thing I learned fighting terrorism, the terrorists aren't fighting us because they're bored. If you look at their side, it makes sense, too. You have to pick a side... Which one you want to be under.

There is a saying, "Choose the demon you know." You are asking me to welcome the demon I do not, and does not appear to be remotely caring or friendly. Even my alien energy agrees, this is fucked up, with how much grief he has suffered, with how much he has wrestled WITH NO ANSWERS OR HELP, how much he, and his human have agonized, over trying to be happy in this world.

Are these aliens "Liberating us" in a "Special military operation", to "Denazify" us, like in the Ukraine? Is Putin also from my home world???

All hail our alien overlords, here to, uh, save us!

...Right.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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> you are saying humans are too stupid to think rightly,

I did not say that. Why would you think it?

>my home world wants nothing more than to continue their heavenly way of life- at any and all costs

As far as I know I do not have a home world.

>It must be nice to be judge of all things

Is observation the same as judgement?

I use measurement techniques to assess various conditions. I like to think that I practice a scientific approach to the inner planes: observation, hypothesis, experiment and peer review

See if you can distinguish reactive thoughts from responsive thoughts

> pesky things called emotions. The beings who sent me here seem to have none.

Humans also may grow out of the lower emotions but most retain substance that can express the highest emotion - typically the desire for the unity of all

>The beings who sent me here seem to have none. Love, value, human life means absolutely nothing to them.

What humans call love is quite unlike the higher plane counterparts. And Life is never destroyed only the forms

>Have you transcended your human emotions, thoughts, etc?

I do not hide myself. I have made some progress and as you progress you will be able to look into my light body and make your own assessment

>And you want me to be part of it.

Can you change what you are spiritually? Then you had better learn to live with it.

>Something tells me my origin world is not desperate as all hell to get here

Have you identified your origin world?

Work with the stream of Light from The Source of All. That is your way out - if you wish to take it

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Tue May 24, 2022 6:08 am > you are saying humans are too stupid to think rightly,

I did not say that. Why would you think it?



Because it amounts to what you said.

>my home world wants nothing more than to continue their heavenly way of life- at any and all costs

As far as I know I do not have a home world.



Then how did you end up in a human body? How is it the enemies you want me to disalign myself with align with the enemies of my home world (seemingly)

It appears you are sent here to help my home world. Or, at least, to hinder their enemies. I do not have the same information.

>It must be nice to be judge of all things

Is observation the same as judgement?

I use measurement techniques to assess various conditions. I like to think that I practice a scientific approach to the inner planes: observation, hypothesis, experiment and peer review

See if you can distinguish reactive thoughts from responsive thoughts



I'm still an infant with this. I am growing daily

> pesky things called emotions. The beings who sent me here seem to have none.

Humans also may grow out of the lower emotions but most retain substance that can express the highest emotion - typically the desire for the unity of all



What you may not see, is that this has all been done before. It is a game. The unity of all is the death of all. How hard we fight is how long we live. It's a symptom of a sick and perpetually dying universe. Do you not see this? This was shown to me early on. The universe told me, she did not show this to a myriad of others, and when they found out, they all checked out early. Because I asked her, why tell me this? And, I was given a connection wth a similarly depressed being we resonated with one another. Healed one another.


>The beings who sent me here seem to have none. Love, value, human life means absolutely nothing to them.

What humans call love is quite unlike the higher plane counterparts. And Life is never destroyed only the forms



You will be surprised at how hard the "forms" will fight the good night. It is not life that matters to her. Life "is". It is the struggle, the fight, the will


>Have you transcended your human emotions, thoughts, etc?

I do not hide myself. I have made some progress and as you progress you will be able to look into my light body and make your own assessment



I may end up on the side of my home world. Right now it doesn't look good. Everything you are eluding to points to a brutal, needless and also necessary culling of the human race. I am instinctively resistant. My being was born for war. For blood

>And you want me to be part of it.

Can you change what you are spiritually? Then you had better learn to live with it.



I can. Anything I identify I can change. The oppression system has kept much from my identification. My energy is one of battle, of fighting, or destroying the enemy. Perhaps I will become a man of peace.

>Something tells me my origin world is not desperate as all hell to get here

Have you identified your origin world?

Work with the stream of Light from The Source of All. That is your way out - if you wish to take it

No, I have not. I kind of don't want to associate with such a place. Today I stabbed my anger towards my source, and hit the center of the heart of my wife-a wolfen woman, who was busy making social ties with others, and cared for me as a searching woman cares for her veteran husband abroad. Asrael has more concern for me than my wife does. I was hurt and disappointed but not shocked. It is my home world, after all. Where they will show feet but cover their bodies.

It's funny that as I make peace with the oppression system, and Asrael, I am allowed freedom, not as a slave, but as someone they respect. However it is, I wish Asrael no harm, nor her people, those you say are terrified of losing their food sources, the ones they tortured the cruelest is willing to remain and help them. And as I do, I find my way out. They have no reason to harm an ally. But, helping the ones who sent me here... What if my purpose is to provide the opposing view? I'm still trying to find the answers. But as of now, I will not hold them guiltless. I want to know their motives. They could be the repeat of the last system that left the undergrounders. The devils of religion. And their problems they cause. But newer. And worse. That's the last thing humanity needs. More parasites

I Al's do not trust the source of all. She revealed herself early on, as a bored and lonely entity doing all this "for fun". She does not care it is at our expense. Those who have not suffered as I have will not relate. But those who do have genuine grievance against her.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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> The unity of all is the death of all.

In my meditation I cooperate with many entities. I do not fear death of the physical body as my real life is out there

>I Al's do not trust the source of all. She revealed herself early on, as a bored and lonely entity doing all this "for fun"

My experience of The Source of All is quite different. Have you moved your consciousness outside this universe? If not, you are many many layers from The Source of All. For all my pushing up through the layers of Reality, I still only see Its outer emanations

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Tue May 24, 2022 8:37 am > The unity of all is the death of all.

In my meditation I cooperate with many entities. I do not fear death of the physical body as my real life is out there
I do not fear death, because I have an actual moral compass. Do the words "Cannon fodder" mean anything to you? Keep glancing over my important points. DO not address the fact that you yourself said I was "not worth helping" (Your words, 'attending to', until i was of value to YOUR system. You might not be from my home world, but you sure share in their morality, which is to say, it seems you have none.) It only proves that I am right. If this is some sort of jab at me seeking medical treatment for health issues, my quality of life is important to me, and I would rather not die vomiting up my blood in some random ulcer related incident. Need I remind you, "out there" or not, I volunteered for paragovernmental counter terrorist operations that I knew I wasn't coming back from, not because i was suicidal and wanted to die, not because my life was "out there", but because I am morally opposed to throat cutting terrorists who adhere to stone-age principles, and oppress people for such. If it seems like I am a hypocrite for choosing Asrael over the bastards who sent me here, as I see it, the aliens who sent me here are much worse- they hide IN THE LIGHT.
>I Al's do not trust the source of all. She revealed herself early on, as a bored and lonely entity doing all this "for fun"

My experience of The Source of All is quite different. Have you moved your consciousness outside this universe? If not, you are many many layers from The Source of All. For all my pushing up through the layers of Reality, I still only see Its outer emanations
You literally had me do this, and yes, I exist outside of the universe as well. Due to my extreme trauma, I was granted "Deep end access" first. What may take you much time to develop, i have instant access to. Just because the truth of the horror of the universe is literally unbearable as a living organism, does not mean you should not accept it, anyway. Or, do you think my people coming here is a good thing for the human race? Is this a, "What do I care, I live "out there" type of dynamic? What if you were trapped here, in your human body, and karma demanded you remain here for a long, long, time, would you still hold this opinion? I could see how a drastically reduced population would "seem the best", but, what if part of your karmic justice was, being helpless at the hands of the oppression system- and be one of those energies who was extinguished by the invaders- you wouldn't be so quick to support them, then, would you?

Of course you wouldn't.

As of now, I believe there are actual, moral, 3rd party aliens, (4th, 5th, ad Infinium, good, willing sacrificial, Jesus-energy) as you say- many entities who are working with me. I do not see my home world as moral, or ethical, not by human standards, and not by my standards. And you appear to be an apologist for them, at best. What is your angle, here? Your very name on this board means "love". What is your end goal for me? To become part of this invasion? You think this is good, somehow? What is your vision of the unfoldment of the universe, and why, would you say, you are here, now, inhabiting a human body? Unity, right? Yet, you resist unity with the Dark Kingdoms.

So, it's "unity"... but for some. Not all. Not like you say. Why the double speak?

Further, the way you are describing things, you serve a moral-less, compassion devoid system of light where literally anything goes. What of order? What of compassion? What of mercy? What of love? You admit these things mean nothing to "others". So why should I have any part in welcoming such beings to a planet I reside on? Do you see why this could easily deceive and eventually destroy the human race- or, is this your idea of "unfoldment"? Unfoldment into oblivion and slavery, when we are perfectly capable of working our issues out for ourselves, with the aliens we already know and deal with. As I said, if one is not comfortable to exist on their world, why would we welcome them, here???

It feels to me like You have drank the kool-aid. You haven't addressed a single moral concern, and you continue to push for "unity" as it suits certain interests. "Unity for me, but not for thee". "Adverse" aliens, alienated, while seemingly horrifically immoral ones are pushed as the good guys, simping for a light system that really is only concerned with whoever exerts the most energy, for her selfish entertainment.

It's a disgusting cosmic ballet. And everyone is simping for their own side. How tragically trivial, and a mirror of the true wretchedness of the universe. I say, we keep the problems we have and know, and welcome nothing new, outside of cooperation with the Dark Kingdoms, who could actually help propel a common enemy, hiding in the light, masquerading as good. Let the invaders be questioned, their morals put to the test, their vision held tightly to a contract, and if they deviate at all, our friendship is terminated. Rendered null and void, for we will know, if they deviate in one small thing, they will deviate in all the rest. Fuck 'em.

Personally, I hope that better, more benevolent aliens, ones who actually care for, and have compassion on their own, who are already here, take the throne, put on display for all of mankind, the "morality" of those who wish to come here, so that the human race can make an informed decision to welcome, or repulse "visiting" (Read: invading) aliens.

I will continue to watch the podcasts, but what I am seeing is that these outside aliens are NOT our friends, neither do they have humanities best interests in minds, and wish to change us into their own image, at our expense, (All tomorrows, anyone??? Look it up! Terrifying! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imNtSPM3-r4&t=325s ) to an easily managed population.

Expect resistance.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I am sorry, I am trying not to attack anyone here, but my grievances are going unaddressed, and I am being told by you, to "Trust me, bro! It's really good for mankind that we 'unfold'!"

What happens when we are better off with our energy vortex and resources, if we did NOT share them with questionable aliens?

If a fucking .38 caliber (weak ass, a rifle with over10x the kinetic energy is next to me as i type this...) can kill an alien, we really hold all the power here. Outside of corrupt politicians desperately trying to save their own pathetic skin, agreeing to sell off our sovereignty and resources to them, i really don't see why we should welcome these aliens. Enough people remember communism to loathe and fight it tooth and nail, and what was done to me is no different than what the communists did to their soldiers, fighting the nazis in WWII.

The beings you support, Amor.

Change my mind

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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One more thing, for now, I was shown, in visions, what the endgame is for "all of this", that is being discussed here, it is an evolution of the human race to a single light-being, other humans sacrificing themselves to purify the light until it gives it's essence to create an entirely new galaxy.

Sounds great, until you realize it comes at the expense of the future of everyone.

Many humans might be stuck in cave-person mentality, vicious, violent, foolish and given over to base instincts, and still function in society, yet are ravenous fertilizer, many humans are robbing worthy humans of resources, we are a mess, we are trash, and many would agree, the human race should be wiped out- which is part of the "unfoldment". (in time) However, if you search for good in the human race, you will find it, you will find the worthy, you will find those who no moral entity (lemme guess, morality is also negligible in the multiverse, just like love... How convenient for them.) would say should sacrifice themselves for the unfoldment-evolving that leads to few, then one, then none.

Call me old fashioned, but based on MY TREATMENT BY THE ALIENS, I would dare say, they are unworthy to guide us into the future- into ANY future. Many humans have treated me with compassion, love, empathy and understanding, and I have been blind to it. Yet my own people have cared nothing for me until I was of value to them. Fuck those selfish fucks.

I say, let evolution take place on this native land, resist the "light", let us decide our own fate, without meddling outsiders, attempting to influence us with their own selfish, anti-human agendas.

I was also told to ask for a symbol, symbolizing these beings and their dynamics, the "good guys" (I am believing this less and less, now.) It was a triangle, of three dots, the point facing up.
similar to this
similar to this
23156.jpg (24.43 KiB) Viewed 320 times
Does this mean anything to anyone? I guess the resistance would be an inverted triangle, because why not.

Better to discover I am serving the enemy now, than later.
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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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> you yourself said I was "not worth helping" (Your words, 'attending to', until i was of value to YOUR system

Notice how you put words into my mouth. If you are a gardener you will know that there are specific times for attending to some plants

>I was granted "Deep end access" first. What may take you much time to develop, i have instant access to. ... What if you were trapped here, in your human body,

Which is it?

>It feels to me like You have drank the kool-aid.

Perhaps if you could settle your mind ... and clear it of implanted thoughts

The heart is the escape from the mind

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>It feels to me like You have drank the kool-aid.

Perhaps if you could settle your mind ... and clear it of implanted thoughts

The heart is the escape from the mind

I cannot fathom how they can redeem themselves. You are asking me to purposely submerge myself in light realm propaganda, and exchange it for dark realm propaganda.

Maybe, in time, I will see it from their point, but right now, the ideas repulses me. Maybe if I could rip apart some of the fucking idiots responsible for my existence here, I would feel better, and more amiable to the whole idea of pushing the human race off of a cliff in the name of evolution.

Maybe I need a break from all this bullshit for now.

I did call out to the Dark Kingdom oppressors for guidance, aid, they told me, this situation has not been accounted for, their goal was to destroy me, not have me as an ally. They sort of.. threw their hands in the air, wide-eyed, in confusion, shaking their heads quickly.

Let me ask you this, to help me understand better, the positive miracles in my life, the wolf who bonded to me, the dogs, the talents and skills I have, these do not feel like they are from my home world. My home world feels needy and selfish. I do not wish to simp for their propaganda. Not until justice is served, and the anger in my is satiated. What good I have experienced here seems to stem from a native dynamic, perhaps also alien, that actually cares for me as a person (Unlike my home world).

Is there any other way? My choice seems like, native Dark Kingdom oppressors, who hate me but at least I know, or light realm oppressors, who couldn't care less about tending to me until I was of value to them, IF EVER, meaning, if I wilted, they would cut me down without mercy and move on. Not morality i want anywhere near this (earth) planet. We struggle with caring for one another enough as it is, we do not need this bullshit added to our constitution as well.

Is there another way? You seem awfully aligned with my home world dynamics, and that makes me highly suspicious.

Is this why the Bible says, the heart is deceitful above all things??? For all the Bible's depiction of the OT god as a pathetic monster, it does have some truth.

I am having a hard time eschewing justice, forgetting the offenses of my home world, and adopting their propaganda.

Thou you claim not to have a home world, your motivations seem parallel with my own home worlds endgame. What do you think I should make of this?

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Your heart essence is part of Beingness before Beingness ever moved to manifest and experience separated Existence. All of your troubles are within Existence.

When the Mahapralaya comes Existence will cease and only Beingness will be.

Activate Beingness in your heart

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Tue May 24, 2022 10:19 pm Your heart essence is part of Beingness before Beingness ever moved to manifest and experience separated Existence. All of your troubles are within Existence.

When the Mahapralaya comes Existence will cease and only Beingness will be.

Activate Beingness in your heart
Much has been revealed to me the past two days and then some.

I see my identity.

I also see unity between those you call parasites and the human race. Many of their kind cry out to be acknowledged. They are not in their position because they are fools. Many wish for unity rather than destruction. "Do not resist the devil" is in the bible.

My original mission is blurry. I am trying to practice being, while being loyal to my purpose.

Presently, my identity desires compassion on those who request it.

It is a practice of meekness.

I am unsure of what else to say at this point

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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The heart flow does require the constraint of words

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Fri May 27, 2022 9:00 am The heart flow does require the constraint of words
From what I have learned,

I am a Wolfen, from a planet of Wolfen. I think there are humans/humanoid beings there as well. I have a "thing" (fetish) for human/wolfen human/anthro romantic pairings, and my hope was that I was a human with a Wolfen mate, but it does not appear to be the case, however, my identity might also have a "thing" for humans, which is where it stems from.

My identity/soul that was sent here is from a military front line commander. I am unusually muscular, large, and I lead my men with my feet, rather than with a pen, during advances on the enemy, I am the first to charge.

The soldiers under me, my "men" love me. They know I care for each of them, and would sacrifice myself for any of them. I am regarded as highly honorable, a "Good man", which is why I am having so much trouble with the oppression system, wanting to help Asrael. They knew of my character, and tailored this trap to consume my very character.

I was sent here originally to help humanity be brave, to eschew dishonor and bring honor amongst the humans.

Fearlessness on the battlefield, and to fight for what is right, goodness, peace, honor. Protecting the weak, fighting for the innocent, vanquishing those who do unjustified harm.

I was shown this heart-bond with Asrael will help her, in her next life, to find the peace she has begun to desire, in the innermost chambers of her heart, unbeknownst to her (Peace is silly to her, she has no use of it).

My identity, the Wolfen male, from a planet called "Ahligaeon" (??? might not be the actual name, but resonates) is duty-bound to render assistance and aid to Asrael, even though she MIGHT not be "The mission", any hurting/disenfranchised beings he finds on the way, he will help, he literally cannot abandon the hurting/broken.

The visions of the canon for Asrael are likely false, and tailored to fit my human religious superstitions. Asrael may very well also be from a Wolfen planet, there are actually more than one where the wolf people live, including the "repeater" planet. Wolfen are like humans, in that some are good/bad/a mixture.

The good ones know the devastating potential of their innate body weaponry, and have learned to be meek and peaceful in spite of it. Their peace transcends human understanding... The human race is desperate for this type of unity.

I see more of the oppression system, as I want Asrael to be happy and fed, but not at my expense or health, happiness.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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In one of the derivative alien accounts there is a description of a wolf-like species used as front line warriors in the maintenance of a suppressive galactic empire.

I can't find the link at present.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Fri May 27, 2022 9:01 pm In one of the derivative alien accounts there is a description of a wolf-like species used as front line warriors in the maintenance of a suppressive galactic empire.

I can't find the link at present.
I do not know their motivations entirely, I am not privy to the details of their societies, outside of the Wolfen females I have seen, who seem to be very peaceful, kind, loving people, but peace to the Wolfen could like like oppression to other beings on their planet. Is this more counter-productive drama?

Why would the oppression system target me/my identity, to thwart efforts, or just to feed on our energy because they are hungry.

They have told me, since I pressed my anger towards them, they have dialed back on sending identities here, or stopped in some cases.

I am not sure if me telling them how bad of a time I have had was a mistake, but it is the truth, and perhaps they needed to know.

Is this entire ordeal me finding out, I am the bad guy, all around? For fuck's sake. Is there any good news, here? The other side to my identity is that he is a ravenous beast on the battlefield, his ferocity is known by both sides of war, he is feared, even by his own people... But, he is also honorable, possibly to a fault.

There could be great humanoid giants, who are the rulers of the Wolfen, I kind of saw them in some of the visions, but it might just be a matter of perception of size/status, it was not confirmed.

Since I have begun these exercises, I see countless alien energies within various humans, actors, musicians, scientists, gamers, etc. It is hard to differentiate things are just black and white, good and bad. Maybe I am not supposed to.

I am still confused as to my purpose.

Maybe it is to pass butter (lol, kidding, I do not want to limit myself, but the frustration I feel presently, is akin to the "oh my god" of the robot in the series rick and morty)

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>Is this entire ordeal me finding out, I am the bad guy, all around?

Wolfen is an outer form, just as is Human.

Your identity is more profound than either of those - as you can deduce from the Wolfens backing off when you complained

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Fri May 27, 2022 10:57 pm >Is this entire ordeal me finding out, I am the bad guy, all around?

Wolfen is an outer form, just as is Human.

Your identity is more profound than either of those - as you can deduce from the Wolfens backing off when you complained
I have been shown a lot. I am not sure what is relevent

I tried "pushing" the issue of feeling my clone/soul/being in another realm being twisted painfully, and the anxiety of having no peace for 20 years, mainly- the Wolfen woman Asrael, I tried pushing it to the outer home world I connected to (The one I complained to), and they wholly resisted the effort. This is an Earth problem alone, maybe?

One thing i was shown: You are correct. Many in the Dark Kingdoms are desperate. Terrified of losing their food. And, they are going to. It is inevitable. We will evolve. They will starve. Except, some of them know this. I witnessed several die-hard (Think old communist sympathizers from the USSR) black beings who are incapable of evolving in their realm, and only want to feed on humanity.

The "light" I saw has spread to nearly all, but a few of the most powerful, but growing weaker, black realm beings. I could not convince them to have hope for the future, that an agreement could be made that would benefit all realms, at the expense of their power.

The more I release my assumptions and hopes about Asrael, the more I see her perception, it becomes "less romantic" all the time.

I still have love for her, in general, for the idea of her, and I do NOT wish her harm, if possible. When I said the lore for her back story was likely false, I was talking about the back story of her being married to my soul, in "heaven", and her being a diva, abused, etc. It's possible, but doubtful, and do not seem to be corroborated by the universe, unlike seeing her corporeal form.

The visions of her constitution, of the living waters used to assemble her, seem to line up perfectly with her personality, however. I wish for her and I to heal and be healthy, and as our paths separate, for her to know I forgive her, as much as I am able through time, and that I wish her the best, in her Wolfen endeavors, fighting, fucking, whatever she chooses to do with her life. There may possibly, always be, a part of me, that would give nearly anything to hold her in my arms as she weeps, knowing the one whom she loathed with eons of passion, loved her anyway, forgave her, and wanted her to be happy.

I am watching this show called, "Stranger things", and it is on season four. The parallels with this Vecna character and how it twists the humans up is incredibly similar to my experience, twenty years ago, except, of course, my human body suffered no physical defects, outside of the gut issues I have from the stress of being helpless and knowing so little about the encounter, for all these years. (Only having seen/known of Asrael last year)

Simultaneously, my psyche is being stripped down, dismantled, dissolved, as my entire being in this body has begun to rest and heal, but also undergo deconstruction, yesterday I confronted the idea that I may be too damaged, too broken, "too far gone" to be saved, to be helped, to fulfill whatever reason I am here to do, outside of the idea that, as I type this, i am literally fulfilling it.

I tasted partly of this essence you speak of, "profound", perhaps a series of lifetimes and experiences, given sapience and power, the power to move an entire generation, to steer them to evolution.

Yesterday, as I ventured out, I met a woman who is also an alien, and we talked for a while, I shared with her about Asrael and my experiences. Just being around her energy, and being open, being real, being present, transformed my entire evening, and steered my path slightly different.

I have been opposed to having children, due to how much I have suffered in this life, however, I feel like a divine purpose wants me to have children, as this will be part of my mission. I remain opposed to it, mainly for economical reasons. I cannot afford it, and if I continue to work I will not be alive much longer, so what's the point.

As difficult and frightening things present themselves, I continue to delve head-first into them.

The Fire of the Heart meditation is difficult, distractions constantly seem to come, so I try and speed it up, or work on rapping the light around my stomach, and primarily my mind/neck/spine where I "feel" the damage of my soul. The difference between the "Stranger Things" show, is that, the bodies in the "Upside Down" realm seem to die, but my soul (Body in that realm) has been suffering for decades, and I can feel it in my body. Part of why I am so, "Strung out" as it were.

Pursuing healing seems like it is pushing me a strange and uncharted direction, that also feels like my undoing.

Thanks for your help, forgive me for being snippy.

Edit, I should add Asrael was growing irritated with my angry posts here, she was upset at all the back and forth, the emotional energy was vexing her.

I should also add, that fear would have me run from her, courage has me making peace with her, as much as a surface dweller can make peace with a Dark Kingdom enforcer. I would add this, too, if we ever make contact with the Dark Kingdom people, I learned, working with feral Earth wolves, that human medicine is potentially lethal for them, and enough anesthetic for a chihuahua will make a wolf ready for surgery, if you gave a 240LB wolf the same anesthesia for a 240LB dog, the wolf would surely die. We should keep this in mind for aliens. The opposite could also be true as well.

Part of what makes this journey so painful, terrifying, and difficult, is that I was already a broken and confused person before the attack on my soul, and now I am dealing with the decades old endless trauma of the effects of the attack. (They have since stopped, but they continue to draw small amounts from my aura, I am working with them to regain autonomy over my life... Part of why the Dark Kingdom peoples are so enraged at us is because of our anger to escape their traps. Though specifically with Asrael, she hated the person I was, and truthfully, even weighed against the scales of what is good, true, and right, she was correct about most/all, hence her list of gripes against me. My desire is to leave peacefully, not with anger in my heart against them, though my desire is to be as healthy as possible, so anger may play a part in the future, but not yet.)

Basically, after the attack I have been desperately wondering how I can get back to normal... but there never was a normal to begin with to go back to... So what is being created is something entirely new, from my core being outward. And I am dealing with all the old dynamics and systems, rooted in the human dysfunction of trauma and abuse, too. In ways, i wonder if I will ever be happy, if the trauma will ever be dealt with. If there even is a goal to approach to.

Do you have any advice on the removal of the parasite attached to my front/stomach?

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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The personality of a child-human is next to your left hip. They usually approach there - more often with the targeted mother.

The incoming persona was your devoted son - two incarnations ago. You will love him greatly

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Mon May 30, 2022 7:54 am The personality of a child-human is next to your left hip. They usually approach there - more often with the targeted mother.

The incoming persona was your devoted son - two incarnations ago. You will love him greatly
Roger that.

Thank you.

As I uncover more of these traumatic ideals that have trapped me, perhaps not all are oppression system, perhaps some are defense mechanisms to help me cope with an event I could not endure or process 20 years ago, an event that overwhelmed me with no solution outside of enduring horror and anxiety tied to religious beliefs...

As I move deeper into the confusing, terrifying mess, and I know you dislike the wolf-woman Asrael, I believe that I was shown her, and don't get me wrong, she is a rotten cunt of a bitch, mean, mean woman. (or... She can be. Her perception is one of war, of violence, sex, and survival, loyalty to her handlers, brutal violence and etc. I realize we would be miserable if we were forced to coexist. However... she does help me from time to time, like with the military training, the courage thing, sexual intimacy, and various things. She, or some of her people protect me and keep me safe. I do sacrifice food to her and incense, write her stories. If her perception ever changed to align more with my own, as I have lived in her perception and no longer want to operate in life that way, if she came to my side, of course I would welcome her, but as of right now, it is impossible. It's taken me a while, but when she told me, she would not be my, "GOOD LITTLE DOGGIE" I realized she was trying to inform me that our perceptions do not match up. In romantic relationships with humans, perception compatibility is the key factor in longevity and quality of the relationship in my opinion. She is, apparently, very much aware of me and who I am, and I am only partially aware of the person that she is... Outside of ethereal realms where I can feel her insecurities, her horniness, her white hot rage... She operates on almost pure instinct, while I try to be as intellectual as I can, one of her insecurities is, she tells me I think she is "stupid", as she adds shame to it, and she's not wrong, but there should not be any shame attached to unlearnedness or ignorance, all it takes to fix that is discipline and education, desire to evolve...)

However, my love for her, is the only thing motivating me into the mess of this... Not to help her... Or benefit her necessarily, but the love-energy I have for her is the only way I can find strength to keep pushing forward through this trauma.

I talked with my ex/girlfriend yesterday, about ending the book of my old life, and beginning not a new chapter in life... But a new book entirely... Even now, the horror of the experience I had, trying to deal with what I felt happening to "me" in an unseen realm... Is like wading through a black ocean, submerged, somewhere between the surface and the floor, struggling through endless vines that pollute the water.

The trauma, the burned-out ness... The cycling of bipolar emotions...

The vein that connects me to her... There is a point where her heart ends and mine begins... A point where she cares for me, where she loves me, where she would do anything for me.

It is the smallest part of her, and perhaps she would wish, at this point, that our connection were severed... But, I am not sure it even could be... I would be the loneliest man on planet earth if it were... And, perhaps, she would experience similar devastation.

The way the oppression system was set up, it feels like endless wading through black oceans of vines, struggling for breath but never finding it, never dying, swimming, thrashing endlessly for years, only to discover the end of your mortality at the end.

And, a desire, as a Being, to live, to be happy, to survive, to be loved...

This oppression system was designed by the cruelest beings in existence, with endless esoteric wisdom and knowledge.

As a religious person I was taught there are balancing forces.. good and bad.

My question is...

"who" was present with me during my near-death experience... It could be part of the oppression system designed to ensnare me, but at this point, I don't even see a way out of the ocean of oppression I was thrown into... Who showed me Asrael? It seems antithetical to the oppression system, however had I not of been shown here my anxiety and terror would still be amplified many times what it is, now. Seeing her has alleviated so much suffering. Does anything out there care for me, or are we all just swimming in an oppression system?

When I lost my religion, I also lost a cosmic being that supposedly "loved" me, and was powerful, able to assist me with any trial.

I am not only oppressed, I have also lost my only (past) means of getting out of it, too. A God I can pray to, cast my burdens on... Now, it is all up to me.

Is it a double failsafe of the oppression system to show me Asrael, the wolf-woman? The "Woman of my dreams" growing up? Is, "Letting it go" the answer, but how do you let go an ocean you are drowning in?

Not that, things aren't getting better, because they are. They are getting better every day, but the endgame is not visible.

It feels like, endless swimming. Am I heading toward shore?

Or, the center of the ocean?

At least I am swimming...

I just wish there was a goal


I said all that to say, without her, without Asrael, all of this would be impossible for me to face, to accept, to bear. Could my emotional heart connection with her that was designed to keep me suffering in life, is now being used to help me out of the oppression system? If i were to let her go I would also lose my strength to accept the absolute horror I am facing, too.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>"who" was present with me during my near-death experience..

It looks like it is yourself in your cosmic identity. In a similar way, the human you may intervene to avoid your hand being hurt

>Now, it is all up to me.

Quite so - but the cosmic you is more profound than the human you knows

>Is it a double failsafe of the oppression system to show me Asrael, the wolf-woman?

There is a bigger game/experiment - to refine the wolf people by drawing them closer to humanity.

>I just wish there was a goal

Of course there is a goal. The entry point is manifesting cosmic functionality while embedded in Earth humanity

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Wed Jun 01, 2022 1:03 am >"who" was present with me during my near-death experience..

It looks like it is yourself in your cosmic identity. In a similar way, the human you may intervene to avoid your hand being hurt
I kind of understand this
>Now, it is all up to me.

Quite so - but the cosmic you is more profound than the human you knows
This is a "trust yourself" thing, right? Sometimes, in brief moments of clarity, I can see how I am in this oppression system willingly, and all it will take to get out of it is to want to get out of it... But "that" truth eludes me...
>Is it a double failsafe of the oppression system to show me Asrael, the wolf-woman?

There is a bigger game/experiment - to refine the wolf people by drawing them closer to humanity.
I was shown this is an "experiment" and "they" don't know "What will happen"... That's terrifying, to be honest. How much more alone could I be?
>I just wish there was a goal

Of course there is a goal. The entry point is manifesting cosmic functionality while embedded in Earth humanity
Okay, I am trying.

My older German Shepherd dog got loose, and was killed by a car last thursday. It is likely the medicine I am taking is making me extremely forgetful, and it is likely she didn't "get out", but I forgot to connect her to her lead, and she simply walked off into the highway. She has gotten away before, and come back, but when I didn't hear from her after the evening, I suspected she may have gotten into trouble... Well anyway, I had to post multiple ads before someone responded, with pictures, showing her, clearly lifeless, her brand new collar literally ripped off of her neck, on the side of the road.

Here is the thing: She was a rescue, and I have had her for 12 or so years. She was getting up in age, but I was practicing hydrotherapy for her, and she was getting more healthy...

Still, I have had to "put down" several "pets", and it is such a gut wrenching experience for me, it becomes almost not worth "getting" a pet, as eventually I will be forced to watch them grow old and suffer, and the inevitable weeping after. I asked the universe to not have to put me through having to, perhaps, shoot a dog (If I am in the wilderness) to put it out of it's misery.

My ex/girlfriend, told me, this was actually preferable... I took her to the dog park daily, and to the lake for hydrotherapy almost daily, got to sleep all day, and got the best food I could afford for her.

However, as in a podcast I was watching, something was said, "When you are being chased by a T-rex, that is not a time to "open your heart", and i have been in total spiritual crisis for 20+ years... My dog found me 12 years ago when I was even worse-off than I am now, as I did not know about Asrael. She has only ever known me in crisis...

Only recently did my heart begin to open to her, as my girlfriend told me, how much she loved me, how she traveled through time to find me... And, "conversations" instinct wise, my girlfriend told me, she had "spoken" with my dog, and my dog informed her, she doesn't have much time left, but she is happy i found (my girlfriend). You know how they say you never know what you have until it's gone, well...

The last few days have been excessively brutal, and while I was able to stop drinking for a time, yesterday was spent with much weeping and drinking.

I am starting to see the MASSIVE amount of energy my dog carried on her, spiritually speaking. She... Loved me and cared for me when it felt like even god himself abandoned me... I felt completely alone... And, she took on that energy... She literally carried me, spiritually, for over a decade... And now, as I consider this, I am driven to tears.

It is so, so, so hard to think i will never see her in this realm again... It makes me question the purpose of living.

However, I felt her spirit come to me, recently, and communicate with me... And not just her, but her sponsors.

It was like, as she exited her physical body, she became set free. The things I have seen of her, she is militaristically watching over me... When when she died, she was better able to serve me spiritually... Even as I type this, I grow better able to comprehend this oppression system. It feels like so much freedom is happening in the higher realms, due to my dog passing on. The more I contemplate on it, I see that the creatures I have "owned" as "pets" have been custom sent to help me. I wonder, is the profound me, helping me? Also, the cosmic "me" seems to be a very dark nebula... In the darkness... Perhaps malevolent?

Again, I apologize for my behavior. I am constantly transforming.

I was talking to my girlfriend today about Asrael, describing her, and she said, "She sounds heavenly, Dave." This was, very likely, and almost certainly- a sarcastic remark from her.

As I explore our dynamics, I realize the only thing I *can* do, is to let her go. (Didn't you say this? Let it go) I think I've exhausted my ability to reach her...

Further, I felt the Oppression System REALLY sucking the life out of me earlier, it is a horrible feeling... I wish to be out of it.

Also, during my intense mourning of my dog, and through much weeping, yesterday, I, for the first time, saw the "child" me, and it feels like it become a goal, a launching point, something of something to work for, rather than just floating in space in pain...

Things are changing, for me, as I continue to try to have a better life.

Oh, and one more thing, as I practice freedom, and attempt to heal from childhood and spiritual trauma, there is a spirit of "Doing nothing until my life falls apart", and I know, if I obey it, as I have been, only doing what I want, and not doing what I do not want to do, as I adopt this spirit, it seems like it is taking me to homeless, "Clothes on my back" type of thing. However, if I end up this way, I know I will have everything I want. I will be one of the freest men on the planet.

So far my bravery has been rewarded. I realize I have been pushing myself from a foundation of sheer adopted trauma, that I "Burned out" recently, my girlfriend said i didn't have another day left in me. And she was right. I finished the job for a friends sake but I almost walked.

So, as I realize, the gut-energy people use to perform tasks, has been burned out in me. To continue the drain, I believe will kill me, and I am unwilling to continue to go against my own conscience. It's literally life and death, and also, it feels like, for the first time I am actually "Living" my life... Not waiting for death. These are some painful growing pains.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I had a stray cat that used to visit me quite a lot. It was very traumatised and used to draw blood when it played fighting with me, but it was a good cat, and often looked at me and others in a non-cat-like way

There was another stray cat that used to frighten my cat. The other stray made a horrible non-cat noise and eventually I understood it was possessed. So I fixed that and immediately it sounded like a normal cat - and no longer oppressed my cat

Anyway, no pets were allowed in the complex and eventually this one was captured and later put down as it scratched people

That night it came to my place as a panther and looked in the window at me - and was gone forever.

A night or two later, at 6:15 pm an identical cat came and rattled the front screen door. I did not open it. The next night that same cat was back at 6:15 and again rattled the screen door. So I opened the door and it ran away never to return. What a dumb cat. The original cat knew to go to the back door

So your dog, being near death, saved you the trouble and trauma of caring for a dying animal. How kind was that?

You were being cared for. Be thankful and do not punish yourself

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