Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

It is interesting to me, how much she has opened up to me. A part of her feels like, what can I really do to benefit her, really? Whisper sweet nothings into her ears and flow around her making her feel like she's the only girl in the world.

However, this entire thing has been engineered and it is going according to plan- maybe even better than they hoped.

There is a part of her that is this, empowered, beautiful, warm and passionate Wolfen, she holds no specific malice, and just wants to enjoy her life.

Simultaneously, I am having to become new levels of brave, and strong. This wolf girl who once stood so far off is now close to me... She's choosing to be vulnerable...

If she chooses to act out aggressively, that is her choice and it won't change how I feel about her.

To me, she is the thing I've be searching for literally all of my life...

New relationship levels mean new trials, new energy being expended. I'm not complaining, it's the fuel for even bigger rewards

User avatar
Amor
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 999
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2020 9:57 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Amor »

Good

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Amor wrote: Fri Jul 08, 2022 10:00 pmGood
I have "dealt with" some of the oppressive entities attacking my physical body.

I was also shown I am not in "right relationship" with this planet (it is not my home, I do not belong here permanently) which is a big reason why I am so unstable.

This isn't my home and nothing makes sense to me here.

I cannot find "anchoring" here, but I should not be looking for it

Asraels real name sounds like, "arena"

She opened up to me as a woman of light realms. She has united armies, they all seem like light realms to her.

I asked her, what I can do to genuinely serve her, as we awkwardly danced in the light, she tested me, asking me to draw her a bath, but there was special meaning here, it was no ordinary request, I had to probe deeper, until I recalled the way she "liked it"

It is apparently a love dance come full circle.

It is at a type of standstill. I think I've done all I can do at this point.

I'll tell you where I'm at, I'm living immersed in a hostile alien world, destitute, struggling to find meaning, desperately pushed to build this 4x4 van to live and die in, yet realizing none of me wants to do it, the universe is resisting me in every attempt but reality. The universe says, "you don't want that." I ask, what do I want, then? The response is silence. Guess I'm just supposed to melt into primordial goo, then.

I know I am being "unmade" and "remade", as ego death happens slowly, and it fights to cling to miserable life.

As I realize, Jesus Christ I am an alien, I don't belong here, I have no home here, I have no place here, there is nothing for me here, yet this is where I am trapped.

There's nothing I want to be reincarnated as, nothing living or dead. If the Wolfen had found this place, it would be different.

There was a struggle in the connection between Asrael And I, so I went to the source, and allowed it to work, she told me. Asrael is being disciplined, (not punished. Humans confuse these words commonly) so that she can be trusted with higher matters.

Nobody has ever touched her gently, she has never been made love to, she has always been treated like a tool, she's given up hope long ago as a young Wolfen of ever being loved- it's a hallucination for her at this point.

But, I am confronted with the idea that, I'm left struggling daily, with my true mission and purpose, if any? My own destruction, or something awful. It certainly seems like hat has been my lot, here, until I saw the wolf woman Asrael.

User avatar
Amor
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 999
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2020 9:57 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Amor »

As you connect more strongly to the Flame in the Heart (and thereby to Beingness) you will be less concerned with the emotional and mental externalities of human existence

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Amor wrote: Sat Jul 09, 2022 6:52 am As you connect more strongly to the Flame in the Heart (and thereby to Beingness) you will be less concerned with the emotional and mental externalities of human existence
Ok. I am trying. I feel like I am making progress.

However, there are still questions. Such as, why is this Wolfen woman literally filled with a rage against me, personally?

They've had thousands of years to... Do what, exactly? Give me a hardon for wolf people, well okay that worked...

I know I am the prey and the Wolfen don't generally fall in love with her quarry- the heart connection to her was a nice touch that really gave me hope for something between us.

But, if it's not reciprocated, then I'm just spinning my wheels. What little progress I made recently was hard-fought and genuine, and it seems to have just fallen short, either due to her own limitations, or she just really couldn't care less about summoning the energy to keep up a rouse to keep me baited.

I went to her a few moments ago, and I demanded to know why she hates me so much. Not a lie, the truth. I told her, I know she is afraid of me, and if she tests me, I will find out why she is afraid and I will do that thing. (And I meant it. While I think she is attractive, and I love the connection we have, if she is otherwise a vicious, hostile bitch, my feelings of fondness for her do get tamed a bit....)

I don't think she's enraged that I'm helping bring human energy to the Wolfen, but maybe. Maybe she's a Wolfen supremacist or something and I am diluting her bloodline. Which would be ironic, given it's already diluted about 50 or so percent with human DNA.

User avatar
Amor
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 999
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2020 9:57 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Amor »

Tundrawolf wrote: Sat Jul 09, 2022 12:02 pm- the heart connection to her was a nice touch that really gave me hope for something between us.

But, if it's not reciprocated, then I'm just spinning my wheels.
Spiritual love is not a bargaining. Life gives of Itself. You may participate if you wish.

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Amor wrote: Sat Jul 09, 2022 9:46 pm
Tundrawolf wrote: Sat Jul 09, 2022 12:02 pm- the heart connection to her was a nice touch that really gave me hope for something between us.

But, if it's not reciprocated, then I'm just spinning my wheels.
Spiritual love is not a bargaining. Life gives of Itself. You may participate if you wish.
I am willing to do that. I didn't know it didn't have to be reciprocal. It just felt like she bottomed out, and couldn't go any further. I've also been giving against my will... But now that I know who is doing the taking...

A version of her, kind of a sassy tomgirl cheerleader has-been telling me, or trying to, that this- everything I've experienced - isn't real. Where I put my p*nis isn't going to send me to any eternal place, literally almost nothing is as serious as we think, and that I have nothing to worry about. It's not real. Any of it.

It's just a simulation. VR so advanced it traveled back in time to convince itself, it was real. (Or, that is was not. It employed Wolfen actors and actresses, humans, little green and grey people, dogs, etc)

This version of Asrael appeared after I put all my available energy into the flame exercise, and into just "being".

She didn't appear to tell me it's all a big cosmic play and I'm in no danger to mock me, she appeared to tell me this, with a big Wolfen grin, to tell me to relax. Not sure if this is possibly terrifying with how much I've suffered, but my husky echoes her sentiments, and like Asrael, my husky has been "usually right" (he's always right, he's part cat)

You know that face a female human can give you when she is empowered, when she knows everything you're so worried about is a nothing burger... That silly grin... Imagine it on a wolfs face...

About the original, the hairless, muscular Dark Asrael, I began to probe her for her feelings on me giving her the life I have been denying her, and her response was basically, "that's why I have been so mad, duh"

A psychological question, Amor: she tells me if I truly do love her this much, (she thought the opposite) she feels heartbroken over... The whole mess regarding the spiritual attack on me- buti ant to erase her debt and guilt- is it possible? What are the implications, if any?

It could be possible, and is likely, that this whole "thing" (my lifetime, the Wolfen, etc) isn't for me at all, but it is for Dark Asrael entirely, to learn he true meaning of Christmas (essentially)

And I'm technically an actor so deep in makeup I forgot I was an actor

And maybe Dark Asrael got "a little too enthusiastic" about her role with the eating me part

I know her reaction right now is one of extreme sorrow, a ger with herself, confusion, and fear.

I want to slap her across the muzzle so fucking hard it knocks a tooth out hold her terrified face in my hands, and tell her, the miracle of her existence outweighs the karma I have against her for torturing me, and that I release it, in fact, if she does not love herself, this lesson will repeat, which is something truly terrible for us all, so maybe I need to be softer on her.

In fact, slapping her is not the way to go, but silently guiding her, empowering her, and possibly even giving of myself for her so that no karma remains against her (this is what possibly is my mission, as it was revealed to me, that this is my last show, my final tour, after this I get completely new existence, it may or may not have anything to do with earth. It is bittersweet)

And, if it does repeat, I know this: the day I first saw her, living as a lonely earthling, was the day that changed my life forever,

Like finding a miracle of life you've yearned for in your deepest existence, and not only discovering that she is real and exists, but that you get the tremendous Honor of forgiving and soothing her, which is the fulfillment of your being. (Makes you feel good, man)

And when I fall into fear, Cheerleader Asrael is there to roll her eyes, force me to look into hers, and tell me to "knock it off" Because she loves me, too

Also, I am finding out, the difference between a cheap hotel and one that is slightly more is actually adding soundproofing in the walls

Some things are worth the extra effort

After I wrote this, I saw "Country Asrael" (think little house on the prairie but with Wolfen people instead of humans), a rebellious teenage girl, coming to terms with how much she is actually loved and appreciated, within herself - and the resulting glow about her, that shines in her eyes, and is a delight to all who see her. She ran to her crush, a new girl, at peace with herself and her surroundings, and fell into his arms. She looks up, into his eyes, with such love.

Unfortunately... he's not the guy she thinks he is, but that is another story, entirely

User avatar
Amor
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 999
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2020 9:57 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Amor »

>everything I've experienced - isn't real

That is true in the sense that the real you exists far beyond the human worlds - physical, emotional, mental

That is not true in the sense that Beingness values It's experience of Existence that occurs through the incarnation of various intelligences such as yourself

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Amor wrote: Sun Jul 10, 2022 10:05 am >everything I've experienced - isn't real

That is true in the sense that the real you exists far beyond the human worlds - physical, emotional, mental

That is not true in the sense that Beingness values It's experience of Existence that occurs through the incarnation of various intelligences such as yourself
I have complaints

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

But I value the wolf woman's Being

*I am trying to. A part of me wants revenge that would make what she did to me look like a children's cartoon show. She knows this, knows I can do his to her, and is afraid.

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

But, do I value the wolf woman because of the wolf woman? Things are seemingly not black and white

Things are also not in tune. I hesitate to dismiss myself for her, as I want to exist, too.

But she has made that hard.

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

I am recalling an event I experienced shortly after the attack. In this realm. A being I valued above my own life, was killed in front of me as I begged for his life.

He died with his eyes open, as I did ask him to fightback.

I recall it took over a decade to mourn him. I could not entertain vengeance, because I would have extracted it in this realm.

I don't think the system understands one thing: I would not exist unless it's fate was already sealed

User avatar
Amor
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 999
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2020 9:57 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Amor »

>I would not exist unless it's fate was already sealed

Try not to think only on the lower levels. What are you, the galactic entity, doing with this solar system and its embedded entities?

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Amor wrote: Sun Jul 10, 2022 8:34 pm >I would not exist unless it's fate was already sealed

Try not to think only on the lower levels. What are you, the galactic entity, doing with this solar system and its embedded entities?
Getting eaten consciously by cruel Wolfen, being prepared for a life of vicious survival, completely lacking in nonviolent coping mechanisms, and trying to accomplish the most basic and easiest tasks necessary to live in a corrupted, dysfunctional world run by the weakest and most malevolent beings in existence.

The answer to your question eludes me, is painful to try to answer, and I am trying to soften my core beliefs to leave them open for "adjustment".

Today, I am taking time off of my present living conditions that feel hostile, soaked in "mold" so suffocating even my dog refuses to go in... In a hotel where some rude ass motherfucker stats laughing wildly on his phone at 2 am when I haven't slept in 2 days and am trying to sleep.

I get kicked out, because I'm not sure if I want to pay for another day, car rental, only to find that the rental car had been hit, (and yeah I declined insurance, what could possibly happen).

I immediately was buried under depression, then the Wolfen blood rage hit, but I recognized it, I resisted it, I remained relatively calm, then the suicidal ideation hit me, and I did my best not to just fall into the comforting waters of that.

I unloaded on my best friend, and eventually felt a little better... I'm still facing a 12 hour drive, cleaning this now smashed car, with only endless soul sucking labor ahead. Selling my possessions to go on a journey to find myself, with zero idea of an end goal... Just saying I'm guideless. I don't even know what's going to happen a moment from now.

I recognized a few things: I am coping with being comfortable in dangerous places without a firearm or bowie- yet calm, I recognized the blood rage that takes me.over effortlessly, and the suicidal ideations, and was able to resist them. It was painful, fearful, and nevous, it's unexplored territory, and a person not in a blood rage is directionless.

I am seeing the trigger pathways to bad decisions, that have plagued me all of my life.

A strange happening for me: I used to live for things like, "making a 2wd van 4wd", but I almost have zero desire to do it, outside of it being my "home", during the discovery of the uninsured rental vehicle, some strange energies twisted and danced, and I was given a strange motivation to accomplish the 4wd conversion. It felt good.

One, thing, Amor, as I discipline myself in occult ways, the "real me", the cosmic one, listens to me. I was too unstable and violent before and it ignored me. It's lack of attention sent me into a perpetual rage, a "vicious cycle", perhaps designed to get one to check out so they can perform better next time.

As far as lower things, Wolfen live there... Her heart beats in my chest, I feel everything she feels almost better than she feels it... But the flip side is you won't find a better spouse in three galaxies.

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Well I got laid, shared a sexual space with a human, an during the encounter, I was faced with the anxieties I have been trying to overcome. Thankfully the person was kind and sympathetic, but during the encounter, I felt Asrael close, and I allowed our hearts to touch, she let me feel how hurt I had made her feel in another life, I abused her... I apologized,but saying sorry actually is an insult. So, I took my punishment, it was hard, but I got a little further.

I should add, it also brought me closer to embracing my humanity, even though I am not one, I still love as one, and I would rather not be miserable

After, we connected again, and I attempted to love her from my heart- but numbness from her was all I felt. So, in spite of my instincts to do otherwise, I then allowed her to tell me how she desired to be loved

User avatar
Amor
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 999
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2020 9:57 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Amor »

>as I discipline myself in occult ways, the "real me", the cosmic one, listens to me

That is the standard process. The chaotic human is of little use and can be dangerous if trusted with strong energies

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Amor wrote: Mon Jul 11, 2022 4:48 am >as I discipline myself in occult ways, the "real me", the cosmic one, listens to me

That is the standard process. The chaotic human is of little use and can be dangerous if trusted with strong energies
I can see this is true. I was shown that I am a terrible god, even before I saw Asrael.

This echoes you are correct about me, I was shown I've been here before. Once eons ago during a pivotal time for the human race to begin ascension, I'm here again to ensure it, and I'll be here possibly to live here when he Wolfen arrive. If the humans and Wolfen peoples can coexist peacefully, things will be excellent

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Today marked the conclusion of a trip I took to gather up my freedom from old dynamics.

I did an internal inventory, as I deposited the vehicle I rented, bought applies for the day.

During this supposed trip of joy- purchasing previously unavailable automotive components, visiting a friend, I encountered obstacles at every turn, so many, in fact, that I began to realize I had made a divine appointment.

I did an internal inventory. During the trip, I encountered several works of fools, that sparked anger within me. Rather than choking it down as I usually do, I allowed the angry beings enraged at the foolishness, to speak without restraining them. The curses they spoke into existence, were generational until bloodlines we're wiped out.

But, I allowed this.

It changed me.

When I arrived "home" (for now) I realized something.

Whatever makes you my "soul" (my emotional body as Amor put it) is, quite literally, dying.

He is clinging to life, desperate to live it out...

However, his woman has used her power to stop him. She hates him so much, she canceled his future.

The sensation of your supposed soul dying, as your body still lives, isn't something I'd wish on anything but my most wretched and damaging enemies

It was absolutely devastating.

"Ruin your whole day" kind of shit.

The only consolation I had, was the universe delivered to me, a comfortnf vision of "me" having died and travelled to the other side of life- has finally found the happiness he's been searching for his entire life.

Still. If "I" am dead... Then "who" am I, now?

Something new. The old man is dead... The new man rises.

Nobody prepares you for this shit.

It just fucking happens

User avatar
Amor
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 999
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2020 9:57 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Amor »

Typically each chakra has an elemental (of the chakra plane substance) and a deva (lesser or greater) to provide the functionality required for the chakra to interact with spiritual and social ecosystems

So your emotional chakra nature spirit (lesser deva) is badly traumatised. If you wanted you could heal it. Every day give it light from your heart flame for 10 minutes. In a week you will be noticeably more cheerful on emotional levels

Otherwise you could use your lower mental chakra nature spirit to abuse your emotional chakra spirit. That is very common amongst humans - but not very useful, merely allowing the mental nature spirit to maintain its belief in its superiority.

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Despite your hopes and dreams in this life

As desperate as they are

Nothing prepares you for, the realization, that they've been take from you.

And now all that's left to do is to die

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Amor wrote: Tue Jul 12, 2022 6:05 am Typically each chakra has an elemental (of the chakra plane substance) and a deva (lesser or greater) to provide the functionality required for the chakra to interact with spiritual and social ecosystems

So your emotional chakra nature spirit (lesser deva) is badly traumatised. If you wanted you could heal it. Every day give it light from your heart flame for 10 minutes. In a week you will be noticeably more cheerful on emotional levels

Otherwise you could use your lower mental chakra nature spirit to abuse your emotional chakra spirit. That is very common amongst humans - but not very useful, merely allowing the mental nature spirit to maintain its belief in its superiority.
Here is the rub:

The dying man was miserable.

He was weak, pathetic and broken.

Why would I heal someone so broken?

Here is the rub: where was this advice after he had been attacked? He was struggling with no way out. He suffered for 2 decades

According to Asrael, he deserved to die.

Is she wrong? Because, every mental inventory says that he was a miserable, pathetic bastard.

I released him today. Though he clinged to me for life.

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

This latest lover of mine, she approves of.

This person honors me as a human, as an individual. I've been so strung out I've never allowed myself to live.

Is Asrael wrong

(I have found good here.)
Last edited by Tundrawolf on Tue Jul 12, 2022 6:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

The other piece of the puzzle: she handed me a key today. It was the key to the doorway of death. I did not recognize it at first.

I am here to eschue a new dynamic for these humans.

If they are unevolved they will be wiped out by the Wolfen. (For reasons obvious)

Is a lifeless rock a benefit to the galactic counsel?

This planet can be a resource, or it can be a draw. I suggest the first
Last edited by Tundrawolf on Tue Jul 12, 2022 6:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Amor
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 999
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2020 9:57 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Amor »

You are entitled to be whole - and that includes emotions.

If you choose to be an emotional cripple, will that limit your ability to provide " a new dynamic for these humans"?

User avatar
Tundrawolf
Forum Member
Forum Member
Posts: 459
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2021 9:53 pm

Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

Amor wrote: Tue Jul 12, 2022 6:33 am You are entitled to be whole - and that includes emotions.

If you choose to be an emotional cripple, will that limit your ability to provide " a new dynamic for these humans"?
You are attempting to enable an emotionally driven individual crippled by religion

You seem to be embedded in the old dynamics

Where has this brought you in the last ten thousand years

?

Post Reply

Return to “Dreams and The Unconscious”