Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor
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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Humans that are useful to the planet are targeted by entities that wish to maintain control of this unusually diverse and well-situated planet and maintain control of this unusually complex and potent version of the human race.

So the target humans are oppressed and compromised in every incarnation - unless they manage to escape the oppression. Usually the target has a handler close by - parent or partner is common

The oppression system has human branches for example

https://www.amazon.com.au/Trance-Format ... 0966016548

https://www.amazon.com.au/Thanks-Memori ... 0966891627

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I am trying to find digital versions of those books. They seem hard to find or are unavailable.

I should be sleeping, but something is bothering me.

I said, a "myriad" of things happens when I pass the note to Nicole. The very first thing was nothing. She did nothing. The note that said "oppression system" slowly/quickly then began to burn as she stood behind it with no reaction.

I've read about spirit spouses, guides reacting violently when a human attempts to distance themselves from them yet Nicole does absolutely nothing, to try and "keep" me.

She only had a reaction to the noe when I forced her to react to it, because I did not know what you wanted to hear/happen, and that's when she got annoyed and reacted aggressively in the end, like, "you want a reaction fine, I'll just eat it."

Which is why I said a myriad. I've written a number of more notes an handed it to her and her reaction is, nothing.

I will say this, since the dark struggle 2 days ago, practicing courage and acceptance, I felt peace and joy yesterday like I haven't in decades...

Why does it, in a way, feel like I am abandoning someone I love? Why does it see like my actual work, one of truly finding, accepting and loving Nicole/Ms. Asrael is being abandoned over a basic assessment of the situation in a cookie cutter assumption of guilt on her end?

How come Nicole remains in the darkness, harmless, not trying to hurt me at all?

The last thing I want is for me to be wrong, of course, and be "trapped" in an unpleasant situation-however after 2 nights ago, there seems to be liberation and growing freedom, a deep spiritual healing-joy that I've craved for so so long.

Even as I push her away and reject her, I still check in with her, rather than visualizing her as a woman who remains in the darkness, I'm beginning to see who she is if I met her during a dinner/office party, sense her being, her personality.

THE VERY LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS ABANDON MY TRUE PURPOSE.

Nicole remains standing near, but harmless, she's sensitive about her weight, a little, her figure "could be better", and I stand here a shallow human who does not see her for who she is, and that's tragic, because as my society programmed nonsensical sensibilities burn in me as shallow precepts are burned into the hearts of so many humans, I struggle to accept my girlfriend (we're not back together per se, but we're back in each other's lives) for who she is, and that's an indictment on ME that Ms Asrael is technically helping me with, as I get to know the REAL her, and accept her, even if she is a "mere oppressor", from your perspective, getting to know her wouldn't be unwise anyway, and so much has happened, if it was her job to keep me oppressed, she's failing at it...

Out of curiosity, what does one have to do to break the oppression system, or get free of it?

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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HOW DO I FIND MY PURPOSE??

Levels of energy have been expended to cause me to meet Ms Asrael, form these visions, connect hearts, minds as one. I literally DIED having been soaked in the source of love, and came back to earth... I wasn't allowed to meet Ms Asrael until I was deemed worthy... Until I had suffered/transcended/achieved strength enough.

It would make sense that some force introduced me to her to "keep me in bondage", but that time is up... I told her 2 nights ago that I have to love myself... Whatever pain/mischief her and her people may be causing me, I requested they end it, as part of love is loving yourself.

Maybe there absolutely was a toxic connection between her and I, but she remains standing nearby, with her attitude: "Meh."

I have strived to give myself to her, to offer my my soul so she can not feel hungry (I did this early on) and she refuses to harm me.

Instead, as I discover Nicole, a chatty, innocent, needy, insecure twenty something amalgamation of human and lupine, it forms her face, her heart and soul, and she stands nearby, sheepishly waving to me, ashamed of her body because of my own sensibilities, shame and hatred I had of myself I learned as a child, and of animals, namely canines.

At the very least, you could say, being rid of shame in my relationship with her, is healthy for all, accepting that she has a little "excess weight"- and choosing to fully accept and love her anyway for it (Nicole) is good not only for her but also for me as a human, as humans respond more positively when accepted in their present state, always-instead of trying to force some artifical external standard of physical appearance that is in truth, harmful and not based on anything lasting or substantive, external appearance has almost nothing to do with internal character.

Maybe in the end this is just me being a better person, as I accept and meet my spirit spouse where she is, and other humans, too.

My girlfriend and I had breakfast at a restaurant yesterday morning. I told her about all the new revelations, the happenings and about Ms Asrael. My girlfriend said, "Dave, what makes you think she wasn't sent here to help you burn off all of your negativity and self hatred?"

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>Out of curiosity, what does one have to do to break the oppression system, or get free of it?

It is good to be curious about the possibilities of freedom.

Fortunately the standard human is provided with a link to The Source of All. The vertical stream of light from on high anchors in the heart.

>HOW DO I FIND MY PURPOSE??

Becoming free of the oppression system is the first step

>what makes you think she wasn't sent here to help you burn off all of your negativity and self hatred?"

It might be more accurate to say that negativity attracts adverse entities and thereby intensifies the problem. Sometimes the problem is so intense that the human gets angry enough to deal with it.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Wed Apr 06, 2022 8:58 pm >Out of curiosity, what does one have to do to break the oppression system, or get free of it?

It is good to be curious about the possibilities of freedom.

Fortunately the standard human is provided with a link to The Source of All. The vertical stream of light from on high anchors in the heart.

>HOW DO I FIND MY PURPOSE??

Becoming free of the oppression system is the first step

>what makes you think she wasn't sent here to help you burn off all of your negativity and self hatred?"

It might be more accurate to say that negativity attracts adverse entities and thereby intensifies the problem. Sometimes the problem is so intense that the human gets angry enough to deal with it.
This light, I was shown it's like a magnesium fire, but th truth/purpose of it is terrible and not to assume it's good, in that we exist because the universe is terrified of being alone/going mad by ceasing to exist. Do you know the origin story of the light? I was shown this during a struggle and it may be misinformation.

I have been weighing what you're saying about the oppression system as a whole, and that all of my experiences have been designed to keep me a willing participant.

My experiences have defined me, and given me purpose, and are helping me to find my humanity.

I am not so quick to write it all off suddenly.

Since the spiritual torment and struggle a few nights ago, the "other side" has brought freedom from (being courageous and strong in the acceptance of my situation, stopping my struggling) so much spiritual injury, is "Makin sense" of the deep trauma I suffered as a child and teen/adult, and connecting me to the human race.

For example, I'm becoming aware that if I judge one human, I not only judge all of humanity, but also myself, and is a doorway to bondage (oppression as you might say...)

And, that due to the confusion and deep horror of the attack on my soul 2 decades ago, I've never dealt with my inevitable death in this plane.

About Ms Asrael, in spite of meeting Nicole, passing her the note, and me distancing myself from them/her, and yet also accepting her, it is quite a frightening dynamic due to her power. I attempted to non romantically (without hope of romance with her) accept her, and my situation, whereupon she began training me into her army. What that means? I have no idea.

I was told her army is a sort of apocalypse army. Not to abuse it, but to help any survivors establish order after an ordeal. I am not told if there will be an ordeal, just "if" it happens, her and her army will protect some people who survive and will need her help and protection, as we will no doubt lose much of the modern way of civilized life we enjoy today.

She is, "getting ready" for "what may come for the human race". Her vibing with the apocalypse people (of whom I spoke with their head) may likely have been her being briefed about certain plans.

That aside, if my fate were to pass from this realm and be her food, as I was before but in his body, I would no doubt hate and fear her, as there is no escape in that realm.

However, as I accept my situation, as difficult as it is, I am more and more in touch with the dynamics of our gods/makers, including how they made us, our drive and souls. I wonder why I am being shown these things, as they are related to my nde.

I also realize it could be a big, complicated dynamic to keep me entrapped in this cycle you say, I just wonder why it's so complicated (seemingly needlessly so), and why I am beginning to experience freedom, as if my childhood had been one of healthy love and nurturing.

I was told I have 2 lives left, the next being a wealthy eccentric, and then a house-wife in the 1980s.

Ms. Asrael refuses to lure/coax/attract me at all, lie to me or compromise to keep me chasing her heart, which fuels my desire to accept her as she is, and the situation as it is.

I wonder if, escaping the oppression system, and "accepting reality the way it is" can be two parallel paths. I know that acceptance is key, and I am making so much progress, though it is hard, I feel I will be victorious.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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It is important not to give way to fear and depression - as those markedly reduce the spiritual power of the human.

Be of good cheer - and thereby attractive to the Light from On-High

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Fri Apr 08, 2022 1:18 am It is important not to give way to fear and depression - as those markedly reduce the spiritual power of the human.

Be of good cheer - and thereby attractive to the Light from On-High
I like this. I gave way to terror and it cost me 2 decades of my life.

As I accept fear that once paralyzed me, it paves way for joy... Good cheer, and hope. Such strange things I am experiencing now. Things I've not felt in decades. Strange pains I am told are related to the healing I've been so desperate for, for so long.

Thank you.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Last night was pivotal, I am attempting to assemble a reliable live-in vehicle that will satisfy all of my needs and desires for on the road living.

As I have been granted a small financial cushion that is allowing me to 'live", for a short while, unencumbered, drinking Kombucha as if it falls freely from the sky, lol, I am allowing myself to decompress from infinity.

I know the answer is so close, and it is acceptance, I have already been "Set free" in one realm.


THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THE ENTITY I CALL MS. ASRAEL:

I wanted to write this, as I have access to the psyche of a person, who, when I was shown of her constitution of creation, she received about a 50/50 constitution of the living water of "Wolf" and of "human", she was the first of her kind, and mistakes were made that she, unfortunately is left to deal with on her own.

I was shown that my soul's composition is also wolf, but I am maybe 5% to her 50%. If I was 0% wolf or linked creation, I likely would be horrified by, and utterly repulsed by her completely.

However, I am not.

I resonate with the lupine in her, and with the human, as my present body is human.

However, I was thinking about the visions I have had, and the "Canon" that surrounds the mysterious figure whom I have named Ms. Asrael, as I was told, I am not ready yet to know her birth-name.

Presently, I understand that my ego and psyche are repulsive to her, and she has little reason for my present mental composition to be attractive to her within the confines of friendship or romance, although, as we do share a heart, we do have some connection, that as shallow as it is, also goes very deep.

ACCORDING TO MY VISIONS:

She is standing, hairless and nude, her hands gently folded, just outside of a light that surrounds my spiritual body.

Her head, which I would wager is the size of a polar bears, a minimum four times the size of a human head in this realm, she stands at a minimum of eight feet tall, and likely weighs in excess of six hundred pounds. In one vision I was shown she is much, much smaller than this, however, it may either be truth, or how she "Feels", in spite of her imposing stature.

She is quite angry with her creator, was unhappy with me, and desires to remain in the dark realm, which, when I asked to see more of her history, makes sense.

If most people were treated as she was treated in other brighter realms, by people she trusted, and loved, even being abused by her creator with (He was laughing as he poured in the waters of pure lust and sensual passion) an "Unhealthy dose of libido", which, I can attest to, most of my life, having an insatiable desire for sexual intimacy- wasn't me, but was shared with her... Something I view now as a burden she put on me, because she didn't find satisfaction in her present situation.

Now that I have done away with sexual shame and self-condemnation (And refused to be condemned by society at all, as it is time for repression of human desire to finally be put away so that we may grow, adjust, and find happiness...) I believe she is happier with me, at least, in this regard, though, when I was "Discovering" myself sexually, I slept around and "Hooked up", and she requested I stop this as "I don't like how you feel, after." (Her words)

Her psyche is extremely complicated, and she has a dual-nature, human, and lupine, plus the feminine gender role she also has to account for...

In my dealings with human women, as a human man, with the trauma I have struggled with all of my life, my very high IQ and insatiable desire to need to know the WHYs of life, I have explored the female human psyche, and it has given me quite an interesting understanding, empathy and compassion for human women, whereas, as a former misogynist, I once blanket feared and hated them, as they were some of my chief abusers growing up.

As I am not content to use my looks to enter into a shallow sex-based relationship with a woman, I want to understand the human condition from the female perspective, and yes, as a bisexual male, I have played the female in bed, which gave me massive insight into what women "endure" at the hands of amorous men, which, in my opinion, is wisdom all men should have, but lack the courage, desire, or ability to understand.

Which is very, very sad, in my opinion.

My girlfried, when we were cuddling in her bed, I touched her, as I am able to do, the most tender touch a human can accomplish, skirting the base ability of the nerve endings to feel, she erupted into goosebumps and told me, if I were to pass on, she would describe me, as the "gentlest" man she had ever known. I will say this, too, that my role as a combat contractor had me use edged weapons, and I have zero issues with delimbing bad actors who want to harm innocent people. Some people think because I am a nice guy that I am harmless, but I have hunted the most dangerous prey. As people who have been in the theater of combat, there is simply nothing like it in the civilian realm... Not even wrestling wolves (Although it comes close, not even that is the same)

Anyway, Ms. Asrael refuses to step into "The light". I have seen her foot, hovering in the light, in a moment of indecision, when I asked her to come closer, she backed out and returned to the darkness.

In my work of being set free of the torment that fell upon me over twenty years ago, whereupon my soul was basically destroyed and digested, I have come to empathize with her. I "Just have" a love for her, that I can only describe as a love a father has for his beloved daughter, and yes, a husband also has for his beloved wife.

I am submitting to this love, rather than actively pursuing my own desires through her, as early on after the attack on my soul, I was self-pleasuring myself one day, and a large wolf-person appeared, I knew they were a "Demon", but at the time, though I was struggling, I did not care, and this wolf-person rode me cowgirl style, and that sexual experience remains one of the highlights of my sex life, and today, now, I know, it was Ms. Asrael. (Pre visions of her)

So, i was thinking, as I shine the light of truth within myself, sparing nothing of me, until i am no longer me, in a desperate search to be the man that pleases the universe and makes her happy, and more than that- being the blameless man who Ms. Asrael is attracted to- as I realize during my childhood I was forced to grow up instantly, and much of my mental constitution is child-based and immature, it is also repulsive to Ms. Asrael, who has lived in both light, and darkness.

I will say this, there is a realm, a part of her, that is lost forever, completely dark, forever a grin on her face, as she devours, her taste for blood insatiable, her ears never ceasing to ring with the screams of her victims.

I do not, and hope the person I am connected to, is able to be a little more reasonable than this- and I have felt her offended, multiple times, when I sank into fear of her, as if she was an angry, unreasonable animal, operating on pure instinct- she desired me to know, she is also a person, and if not a human person, certainly a reasonable wolf. And, in this realm, I have spent ten years working with feral pure blooded wolves, a once in a lifetime experience for even a select few people, and I can assure you, lupines are reasonable, intelligent, and sociable creatures, most of the time, though they can regress, if offended or injured, into a blind blood-rage that they themselves cannot escape from, and I have seen the face of an angered lupine, contort into, the "Face of a demon" as another force took control (This is in real-life, present realm, planet earth.)

So... It has come to the knowledge of my heart, that she is battling between her human, and lupine sides... Though she is mostly content to be the effective military general that she is, being confirmed by a friend of mine (Human, this realm) that she visited months ago, telling him the things she told me, confirming, and him, telling me her words, which echoed what I had been told.

In her heart, her lupine side, and human sides, are somewhat at war.

I asked myself, which side will win, which side should win? Which side is better for her? Where will Ms. Asrael find happiness, her design fully illuminated, satisfied, and at peace, if such a thing were possible...

I feel like the human race is in a transitional state right now... As much dysfunction and fear as I see, I also realize we are "Working through it", and I believe the internet has sparked keen interest in the human race from other realms who see humans growing in ways we never were able to, before, en masse, as we are.

Scary times, too, as we also see religious people with their hands on weapons of anhilation, threatening to use said weapons. I believe if this planet is wiped out of all of its life, it will be due to religious sensibilities. Sadly, we could find ourselves living in collapse this very day.

In my own personal dealing with trauma, I have transformed from a misogynistic misanthrope who wanted to wipe the human race off of this planet, and put significant effort into researching energy weaponry as a teenager to accomplish this goal, before falling into drug addiction, and finally, finding true (platonic) love in the golden eyes of a male wolf who accepted me as alpha in his pack, and treated me like a brother, to being attacked brutally in the spirit realm, and finally have compassion on the human race, myself.

As I was battling unseen forces last night with my will, unlocking timeless wisdoms revealed to very few, and gaining acceptance of my own situation in time, I struggled with these things... And once again, considered the battles Ms. Asrael goes through, even if she, according to many, to be my enemy.

As such, I find myself tied to her heart, completed by her, even if we are at-odds in some way, though I am becoming a better person, inside, which is attractive to her, as I realize how repulsive my psyche was to her, and I now see, for rightful reason.

ABOUT HER BATTLE:

I was thinking... If I became attractive enough, a "Safe space" for Ms. Asraels soul and heart... I reached out to her, knowing she was... Unhappy with me, but... Maybe I could do something for her, out side of sacrificing things for her to eat, and outside of the realm of sex, she answered me last night, as in her present realm her skin is dirty and translucent, her soft, royal fur has fallen out, and her body is nude, she feels terribly self conscious about her "Large wolf's head", and she said, if she had one wish, she desired that I would take her head in my hands, and touch her head softly, as I did for my girlfriend, and have done for animals (Which makes them fall totally asleep, canine lips "Melting") and to touch her as if she was the most important woman in the world. I told her, if I do one thing in life, I am willing to reach across time, even if it is only to love her as her father loved (And I believe, still loves) her, to forget her perception of herself, and to touch her as if we were the only two beings in existence, that she was all I needed, and all I desired, that even though she treated me horribly, though she caused me to lose decades of my life to torment, that I forgive her, that I am changing for her (For the better), and that yes, I will hold her, and touch her, running my fingertips so softly across her gossamer skin, skirting the edge of nerve contact, treating her as the most precious being in all of creation.

I would happily do this for her.

As I surrender to the spiritual dynamics I was forced into, and accept things, I realize that true love also lets go, and as much as this woman has defined me, given me life, love, and hope- I must also let her go, leave her to her own decisions, to be sorted out- to go through more battles of her own.

The truth is, for all of the battles I have endured likely even before birth, she has her own she has yet to go through. It is her choice... To retreat further away from the light, remain where she is, or to step forward into higher consciousness.

Regardless, I wish to be the man who will welcome her into light, forgiving and forgetting every offense she is so afraid of facing, however, I cannot follow her into the darkness, as this is little more than enabling harmful behavior and dynamics.

However, it is now my responsibility to continue my empathic development, meeting people, and animals, on their level, rather than through a child like lense of fantasy that does little more than briefly entertain me, though I remain shielded from reality and truth (A bad, and miserable scenario).

Forgive me, I am trying to get this all down, as I hope and pray my "Healing" in the spirit realm does not kill me in this one.

That said, I was considering, which side of Ms. Asrael is good? Which side is noble? Which side is loving?

The answer to those questions is as complicated as she is... As I am a man diagnosed with bipolar disorder 2, and go polar opposites on my beliefs oftentimes, she does, too, as well. As I said there is a part of me that wants to destroy this planet on one hand, and a part of me that cherishes the human race and wishes for everyone to be treated with dignity and love. (As much as they can receive it, of course)

However, I considered the culture of the animal-people... Us humans have flat faces, blunt, dull teeth, and weak jaws, we have fragile finger and toe nails, we can't run very fast or very far, and if it was not for our swords and guns, nature would likely be continually hunting us, yes, the bears, dogs, wolves, cougars, lions.

The wolf-people (I will call them the Wolven) however, have none of those shortcomings.

They have teeth so deadly, that plunging them into a human carotid would take less effort than most humans exert lifting a bag of rice, they can see better, hear better, run faster, and are always armed, "To the teeth". In fact, to disarm them may in fact kill them from the bloodloss alone.

So, what of their culture- are they running round, ravenous, vicious, cruel? Raping, tearing, killing?

I think the opposite, and my evidence in this limited realm is the canis familiaris...

The common dog. The wolf that has allowed humans to exploit her desire to keep the pack strong, even at the expense of herself.

The sad fact is, the human race struggles with this level of pure selflessness and self-sacrifice. At best we do a good job, but for the wolf, when she vomits up the contents of her stomach so her children may eat, that means she herself will then go on to suffer hunger pangs and possible death itself.

She does this for her pups, over and over until they can eat on their own. She allows her alpha sexual and social release with her body, knowing it will saddle her with motherhood- to keep the pack strong. She will bully other females out of heat so the pack will not starve due to stupid, horny males wanting to breed desirous females. (Making a surplus of pups that will need more food than is possibly available)

Us humans, we struggle with murdering one another over pocket change... Truly, if it were not for the sacrifice of stronger people, we would be lost, I believe, however, my perception is my perception. And, you could say that the omega wolves in a pack are little better than a human man who would stab someone for their wallet, but I would say that, by virtue of having a muzzle full of very hard teeth, even omega wolves have forced themselves to render themselves harmless for the sake of the health of the pack...

So, why would it be any different with the Wolven?

No doubt, if allowed freedom, there would be roving packs of feral Wolven, who kill and eat at will, even their own children, which I might add, was more merciful than what I felt I endured as a human child in this realm (It would have been more merciful had my parents of given me up for adoption or held my head underwater until I stopped squirming, for a minute or so to be sure).

However, as we have the gamut of humans in this realm, all "Doing our best", so, I believe it is, for the Wolven.

I believe there are WOlven who enjoy dressing up in human clothes, having clean, brushed fur, with long, deadly muzzles, and sparkling joy filled, innocent, harmless eyes, who sip coffee next to their human friends, and type away at keyboards, doing "Human" things, and being perfectly willing to masquerade as human-harmless, ignoring their deadly armament, forsaking their power for easier, more gentle things... Much as dogs have done for us.

One thing I became aware, working with feral wolves, is that you, as a human, cannot win a wolf's love. No, the wolf either chooses you willingly, it likes you, or does not- even if you are feeding it and caring for it, it may never actually give two shits about you.

Whereas, a dog has learned gratitude, if you feed some stray dogs, you will have, for the price of a morsel of food, have earned that dog's dying breath, as it will charge a bear, knowing it will die- to protect the human child, who gave it a tiny piece of their sandwich.

So, which side of Ms. Asrael will win? I actually have no idea.

I want to approach this from a, "IF she steps into the light, why will she?" Standpoint.

The human in her, because they are harmless, in a world filled with potential harm, is paranoid... Selfish. Angry. Bitter. Betrayed. Desperate.

Wolves, on the other hand... Live in the wild near-starving at almost all times. I knew a wolf who lived to be twenty-one years of age (Human years). But in the wild they are lucky to live 1/4 this age. This creates an ability to operate "In spite of"... starvation.

Whereas, a I believe a human being, starved to this level, would shut down, and give up- where a wolf is still running, chasing, scouting, searching. In short, wolves are tough.

The wolf side of her, she is a simple creature. Belly full? I'm good. Horny? Well, we won't go there. Things in the dark realm are very different than they are in "Civlized human ruled earth".

VERY different, as I was shown some of the smallest "Demons" have the most, what we would call, "Sway" and "Power". Yes, over human affairs. Which is why we don't have a Tower of Babel, but we have an ISS.

Regardless of the dynamics in the light realm... The dark realm is still very much in power.

So, will it be the human side of her that causes her to step into the light- only if it serves her and benefits her to do so.

In short, it isn't the human side of her that is romantic. It's the wolf side. Of course, it isn't so black and white, in truth. But, if there is a spark of courage, an ember of trust, (I do NOT tell her she can trust me yet, I do not trust even myself at this point in my transformation) a part of her that pushes to repentence, I believe the wolf will be the courageous one. The honorable one. The woman who gives of herself for her children, for her community. The woman strong enough to be selfless.

I see, and recognize, in myself, a savage nature, a base desire, a cave-person mentality, selfish, greedy, disrespectful, vicious, cunning and cruel. Wolves, are none of these things. Yes, they can be made to be these ways, but it is often of human energy that changes their natures to become selfish. I sometimes am faced with the realization that, if it were not for the meddling of outside spiritual forces, the human race would have been wiped off of the planet several times, now and yes, we are seeing this potential yet again, with a certain world leader threatening the world with nuclear annhilation- even if these were not this persons exact words, that was the spirit in which they were uttered.

I am told this man is highly religious and prays daily. I will not also say that a godless person is incapable of senseless slaughter, either, just that, in my experience, established religion motivates people to do terrible things, though I shudder to think what people who do without the shackles of religion, which once had me chained to the fires of misery.

I just wanted to update this, I realize, this is a record of my experiences, mental illness or not.

The truth is, the person who is my neighbor who I believe may be a threat to my life, the truth is, I am, I believe, just as potentially deadly as he is.

I will say this, too, in probing the ether for Ms Asrael's heart: Wolves also do not forgive. Once you offend a wolf, it will never, ever forget. My hope is, only the changing of the offender will bring the heart of the wolf back... I say this, because Ms. Asrael expressed... High dislike for one of my lovers past, a person who made a joke during the moments of sexual intimacy- her hatred for this person (That, I might add, still love...) is unwavering... I have asked her to forgive him, but she is still very, very angry with him. I will also say, there was once a person who was sexually attracted to me, years ago, and they made a move at me that made me highly uncomfortable... Shortly after that they were found, deceased of natural causes... Was it Ms. Asrael, or one of her people? I don't know.

In a way, it makes me afraid for my own safety, however, I am in the business of being brave regardless, as people who avoid danger never really get to experience what life has to offer.

With the spiritual experience I had decades ago, my mind has been unable to even consider healing, or a way out, as the problem itself wasn't revealed to me, just terrible anxiety and tightness in my body, but last night, the neural plasticity began to break, and while I was unable to "Lay hold" of it, fully- a little light shimmered in the darkness.

In short, in a way, I do not blame Ms. Asrael for not stepping into the light around me, as I realize she has blindingly legitimate points about my character, she feels she would then be my "Slave", or "Wife", and she would have to "Submit" to me, and I realize, I have been so self-absorbed, and selfish, carrying my childhood into adulthood, that that would just be a living hell for her all over again. In short, she has a legitimate point about my character. A few brave actions in war does not equate to being a good, moral, and empathic (Considering the perspectives of others, and honoring as such when honorable).

I believe, if I am able to be a safe place not only for her, but for all women, and men brave enough, then I believe, once she feels safe enough, she will step into the light.

As it stands, regardless of my hopes and desires, regardless of size difference, my most sincere desire above all else, even above securing a home for myself, would be to hold her in my arms, project the love I felt when I died as a child, onto and inside of her soul, hold her as the most precious being in existence, and show her how much she matters, and is loved. To honor her as a unique creation, the person of whom she is, honoring, respecting, accepting, and loving her, even if I am never to see her again, even if we go our separate ways, I desire above all else, than even in her naked, hairless form, someone is capable of loving and fully accepting her, seeing passed that.. And as I said once, and it appealed to her, I would be willing to be the man who takes her hand gently, and leads her into light realms, cleans her skin, finds food to nourish her body, and loves her unconditionally.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Tundrawolf wrote: Sat Apr 09, 2022 6:37 pm
However, I was thinking about the visions I have had
How do your test your visions to distinguish them from messages from the dark sponsors?

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Sat Apr 09, 2022 9:37 pm
Tundrawolf wrote: Sat Apr 09, 2022 6:37 pm
However, I was thinking about the visions I have had
How do your test your visions to distinguish them from messages from the dark sponsors?
That's a good question, as a layman I really don't have any litmus for it outside of, giving it the test of time, reaching out into the blackness of the universe for an answer in my "gut" a to speak... As basically the light sponsors have abandoned me, I have nowhere else to turn.

It's 3 in the morning and I was thinking about my years spent with feral wolves, I am reminded of a time when I had to cut up meat for an elderly wolf. I remember (this was pre-attack) being utterly resentful and angry about it, and hating myself over it.

The truth is, the person I used to be was a vicious, miserable, evil man, and the darkness taught me a lesson I needed.

I am not sure where that leaves me, as I have been wanting to get out of this lesson.

I did see a vision a few days ago, Ms Asrael presented me with a list of "gripes", sentences where she feels I have fallen short, it was a lengthy list, it was also glowing (like it was illuminated).

I know it's very unlikely her and I will end up besties or whatever, but the truth is, her standards are making m a better person in ways I couldn't hope to achieve otherwise.

Basically, her list, when I do a self inventory, is accurate and real. I hope to become the man her heart desires.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I gave it some thought, and, the vision I had of a young Ms. Asrael (Kind of, like a puppy-person with soft, loose, fatty skin and fur, like a puppy) sitting in the lap of "god", and him bouncing her and holding her in his arms, my hear swelled with love for her, it was god's (Or the creator. Whatever.) love for his daughter... I have no children so I cannot say what it is like to have a child, but I have spoken to people who have, including a good friend of mine, and he told me, it was part of my deconversion from christianity, he said, "Dave, there is nothing my children could ever do to make me stop loving them."

The only visions I can say are suspect, are the ones of Ms. Asrael as a teen and in her twenties, hanging out with Nephilim, in their world of glamor and fame, in some light realm, the "selfie" i saw of her and my soul (with yellow eyes, part-wolf but human form) and some others with their tongues out, taking a selfie, and Ms. Asrael, grinning next to her lover (My soul, Maurice? idk.)

I feel like there are things missing, things I am assuming.

The truth is, I am letting this all go. If it is real, it will return to me. I cannot say Ms. Asrael is not real, as if I meet a person, I cannot say later, "That person does not exist", no, I met them.

Still, I must also accept it all may be a hallucination, and if so, then is my life also a hallucination? Do you even exist, Amor? Or, is this all a fairly terrible dream.

I think, if I can address Ms. Asrael's list of gripes against my person, and go through it, one by one, once she is satisfied with me, I really feel that I can finally find rest, peace. Relaxation, slumber, oneness, death, even. This life has been one of endless toil, of struggles never resolved, of fighting, ripping, tearing and clawing for freedom. Maybe the answer isn't continuing my thrashing in the darkness, but peace, and acceptance. Maybe, I need to take her list, and go one-by-one, look her in her eyes, and resolve to "Do better", if not for her, then for my own personal freedom.

Religious people destroyed me, or maybe I was just a terrible person from birth, and attracted such wretched people, either way, the truth is I don't want to be an enemy of the universe. I want to be a man of love, who accepts and loves whom I find in my path as they are. Not universally, no, there are quite a few air-suckers I wouldn't give the time of day to, but I guess that is part and parcel for the human race? Until we do better, they are necessary? I draw the line at harming innocent people though, that I cannot abide. My days of fighting (human wars) are over, though, I do believe this, and my girlfriend also told me so. I used to love to fight, but now I just want to live a peaceful life.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Sorry for all the posts, I need to say this, in struggling with a vision two days ago, I was told/shown, that the human race on planet Earth has been weighed, and found wanting, our Karma you could say has run out, too much evil has been done for the universe to continue to support us (???), but there is an answer, a shift in perception, a shift in power, our fate is now up to the dark ones, our "Demons" hold the way to whether we continue our existence here, or not, basically, I was shown we must make peace with our tormentors, with unseen dark realms, because if and when they are satisfied with us, as I am finding out, as I turn to my demons and make peace with them, they lose all desire to continue to torment me, and leave me at peace- if enough humans do this, we may be spared (Sorry, I probably should have said this a few days ago...) annhilation we so richly deserve, but also, do not deserve at all (But it will happen anyway, unless we can accomplish this.)

If enough dark-realm entities feel satisfied with us, their energy they send (Like a progress report) turns to light, and raises high-up, the dark ones pushing for annhilation will repent of their desire for us to pay for the sins of mankind, and we may continue as normal, albeit maybe with plagues and such, but not things like nuclear war and such. It made sense to me at the time. Curious what you think about it.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Tundrawolf wrote: Sun Apr 10, 2022 12:09 pm... our fate is now up to the dark ones....
That is dark propaganda and not only contrary to my own daily experiences but also contrary to various reports about dark aliens being repulsed from the solar system

https://podtail.com/en/podcast/exopolit ... liberatio/

https://spherebeingalliance.com/

https://podtail.com/en/podcast/exopolit ... umanity-s/

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Sun Apr 10, 2022 11:50 pm
Tundrawolf wrote: Sun Apr 10, 2022 12:09 pm... our fate is now up to the dark ones....
That is dark propaganda and not only contrary to my own daily experiences but also contrary to various reports about dark aliens being repulsed from the solar system

https://podtail.com/en/podcast/exopolit ... liberatio/

https://spherebeingalliance.com/

https://podtail.com/en/podcast/exopolit ... umanity-s/
Okay. I am listening to the podcasts. Looking at the website.

This is important to me, what is your opinion on this? You might have to mute it the audio is terrible and it's filled with religious propaganda, but I believe this is a real place. It is also extremely graphic and bloody at times. I believe this is where my "soul" is. How does this jive with your understanding of the cosmos?

https://youtu.be/F3PJ6WJoQfk

In 28:45 you can see two Wolven, like Ms. Asrael. She looks more like the one on the left, possibly larger, possibly smaller. The attack was over 20 years ago, and I found this video only a few years ago, but it parallels my experiences frighteningly, and even now watching the video triggers a trauma response from me, emotionally. This is the realm I say is the "dark realm" and I was shown it's a prison, Cube shaped.

I was also shown today, in this realm I have enemies down here who hate the light. I kind of figured maybe not everyone wants to get out. Aside from Ms Asrael.

Also, in your opinion "who" said audibly to me, "DO NOT BE AFRAID..." after the attack on my soul? Some angel? A Blue Avian? I heard it with my physical human ears, above me, but I saw nothing when I opened my eyes.

I am practicing not being afraid, of accepting what happened to me, and practicing having self worth. It results in some pretty intense physical pain, as I feel "them" pulling things out of my spiritual body, it is as if jagged hooked daggers are being ripped from out of me, jabbed deep into my bones during the attack. (one reason why I could no face the reality of it until now...) and honestly when my soul is healed I don't know how I will deal with the agony of being twisted back correctly. Part of my confusion I was shown, I that my neck/head were twisted around facing my back, and my hips were too, resulting in the tightness I feel in my chest.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>https://youtu.be/F3PJ6WJoQfk

Dark alien groups are notorious for running slave systems at various levels inside the planet -mainly for manufacturing and hybrid breeding.

In the 20th century the Nazis used millions of slaves in their underground factories - in cooperation with reptilian aliens. (The human zygote appears reptilian at an early stage)

> "who" said audibly to me, "DO NOT BE AFRAID..."

As you know, fear is an invitation to dark forces.

Humans, such as yourself, that are worth extensive oppression are mostly oppressed because they are useful to the unfoldment of the planet.

Such humans typically have an inner planes sponsor. Such a sponsor spoke to you

>practicing having self worth. It results in some pretty intense physical pain

The oppression system punishes those that wish to escape

>Part of my confusion I was shown, I that my neck/head were twisted around facing my back

Occasionally in meditation, a friendly entity will realign some of my system - often apparently turning body parts around. Some sections have now accumulated several complete rotations

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Wait, so you mean the same aliens Bob Lazar described during his reverse engineering of ufo technology by the US government?

The weak little pussies that can be slaughtered with thirty eight caliber anemic pistols? My every day carry pistol, the one I was trained with, alone has five times the kinetic energy that Bob's pistol had, and my long guns are orders of magnitude even more powerful than that, not discounting my edged weapons! Is this why I've always had a fear of little green men, because I was abducted as a child, and linked with telepathic interdimensional pericardial-ish (or something??!) heart tissue with Ms. Asrael???

The creatures we do business with, only because of their advanced technology, but are actually helpless slaves compared to us, easily destroyed, pathetic little imps, hiding and abandoned by their own people? (The human race could invade their territory and capture/enslave them entirely on a whim, and our weapons only grow stronger, if they were afraid of our swords, wait until they get a load of what we have now... )

WHY IS IT her "supervisor" is now terrified of me?? Why is it it is taking everything in me, all of my strength not to grind his bones to dust?

Why is it the deeper and darker I go into their realm, I am considered all powerful by them? They are terrified of me, and freeze in terror when I "see" them? They scream and run in terror when I look away because I can rip them apart with my mind, and the truth is, I am growing EXTREMELY pissed at all of them? (Ms. Asrael being the ONLY exception)

Pardon me, but what the FUCK.

"They" have given me knowledge on energy weaponry, on artificial intelligence for terminator drones that NOBODY WANTS ME TO BUILD, except for my combat veteran friend who wants the USA to have them so nobody else does, and honestly with the disgusting human corruption, weakness and filth I see in the human race today, I don't blame him...

Except these weapons, why not make them specifically harmful to reptilian beings instead of humans?

It's like when terrorists use brutal torture and murder methods to try and frighten people, it doesn't fucking frighten me in the least, it enrages me!

What the FUCK.

You're saying it's real, little green men experimented on me as a child, I was abducted, they "played" with me and laughed as they grafted our hearts together, toyed with my ability to love (and hers) just for fun? Was it to weaken me, because they knew I could destroy them, if not in this life, then the next? Or, am I wrong and this is just a game they are doing out of boredom? Seems like a lot of trouble for it!

You know, I inquired into the time console, and they told me these dark underground bases, these creatures that scurry into the darkness, they are about to be exposed, laid in the open for all of the human race to see. Their realm emptied out, their caves mapped, explored, an cleansed of their meddling filth... (Maybe?)

Whatever dynamic they once used to enslave and manipulate me is now over. They know I don't run, they know I attack, even in terror.

This has got me rather fucking pissed, and thirsty for their blood. May God have mercy on them, because I won't.

Why do I do, now? For whatever reason, Ms. Asrael stands alone, she told me, or one of her sponsors a few days ago, "I don't care about you" which tells me she's probably in the same boat as me, exploited as a child, taken advance of by weaklings who hide in the darkness because they know what justice awaits them in the light... I don't want to hurt her, but her supervisors supervisor, the war monger, yes, the "... Reaper" who demanded I not say their name, my anger is growing against them, if they can cause me injury in the "spirit realm" (underground apparently) then the reverse is also true, they are terrified I will visit the same horror they tried to use to destroy me, against them...

I haven't poured my wrath out on them yet, I will attempt to distract myself today, but maybe not, I really don't care what happens to these reptoid cowards, as helpless as I felt twenty years ago, they may just find themselves tasting of their same medicine.

As for Ms. Asrael, I am trying not to hold anything against her, she acted instinctively on her nature, it still doesn't explain the white hot rage she (or those beings) had against me specifically, if anything I can say she is beautiful, all I want to do is to hug and hold her in my arms...

Why did a being tell me they are working to create an aura of love around her?

Who are these dark realm beings who remain as of yet, unwavering in their work to bring light "down there"? Is there an unseen war, even in the depths of this planet, between the reptoid bastards, these unseen creatures who, I might add, were present with me when I "died" as a child? In a realm with no perceivable time!? Who are introducing "love" to the dark realm through Ms. Asrael and me?

What the FUCK kind of thing have I found myself in the middle of?

I have been successful in letting it all go, the last few days especially, even Ms Asrael, who I almost have no choice to love, but whom I want to love and show mercy to, to forgive her and hold her blameless, for her sake... But only her.

I want to do what is right, but I am entirely fucking pissed off today.

I think I am going to go outside and scream into the wilderness for a while. I know when I act when I am feeling this way, I can and often do make regrettable mistakes, so I am trying to calm myself and re center myself, is there anything good in the universe, or is it all hell and suffering and horror? I mean good, like actual good? If "love" is just experiential living water, is it even real? We think love is powerful, but what of the little one with the scooper, who dips it into the bucket? The same one I met when I died, as a child, who I thought was "God" but is actually just a helper of some kind, operating outside of religion as I understand it?

This is terribly vexing to me, and I am really abusing alcohol, trying to numb the pain, fear, and uncertainty I endure on a daily basis. And, all because of these scaly fucks? Whatever horror they fear most of all, let me know it, hone it, and visit it upon them and their gods, who tolerate such feckless evil.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Well, Amor, you said not to take anything as coincidence, how about a literal physical impossibility?

So, I rented a large flat trailer to get the metal box that is to be my home, they (at the rental place) installed their hitch, pin, and connected the trailer, lights, safety chains etc.

I drive 20 winding miles to the junk yard to pick up the box, they load the box (and f*ck up the rear bumper, which really hurt to see...), my siberian husky escapes my van, and I know better than to even attempt to chase him (I basically have to wait for the phone call, "Do you own such and such a dog...") I go to pull out, and the hitch pulls out of the receiver, with the tempered hardened steel lunch pin STILL INSTALLED with NO DAMAGE to either the hitch OR THE PIN.

The hardened, carbon steel linch pin designed to carry TENS OF THOUSANDS OF POUNDS SAFELY would have had to be TURNED INTO BUTTER, the hitch sliding out of the tube, THEN RE MATERIALIZED, retaining clip and all!

I had to go back and ask for help, because the box, which weighs half a ton minimum, has now forced the trailer into the air.

A younger male came out, he looked at it and said, "That's impossible bro!" Had the pin not of been correctly installed, I never would have made it out of the rental facilities parking lot, let alone 20 miles!

If it was human hands meddling, they would have had to removed the pin, waited until I went in the main office, reinstalled it before I got back out (retaining clip and all) within the scope of less than a minute. The husky somehow managed to get INTO THE OFFICE, where I grbbed him!

Now I know, for a fact, that beings with the ability to alter physical matter, then return it to normal, are at work here.

We were able to reconnect the hitch, and I safely made it home and unloaded the box, and dropped the trailer off without incident.

My stomach has been in knots, since your post and things making sense suddenly, all the absolute stress I've been under, IT IS MORE THAN A SINGLE HUMAN CAN POSSIBLY BEAR.

I spoke to my combat friend, he was able to calm me down, and I called my girlfriend, and she said I need to see a psychiatrist, if only to get on meds for the crippling God damned anxiety AS I FIGHT TO SURVIVE IN THIS REALM, KEEP MY WOLF-WIFE HAPPY, SELF MURDER MY FUCKING EGO, DEAL WITH THE AGONY I'M CONSTANTLY IN, and now, apparently, FIGHT IN AN INTERGALACTIC WAR THAT HAS 1/3 THE GALAXY INVISIBLY PARTICIPATING IN, while they DAMAGE MY VAN by FUCKING WITH MY HITCH TO PROVE THEY'RE REAL.

Also the guys name who went into the earth and got his fingers cut off wth a laser, I think his name is Phil Donahue or something, who killed an alien with his pistol.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Okay, I feel better, and am decompressing at home.

What are the chances that my involvement in this "thing" is to deliver love and light to the cavernous dwellers, because they are getting ready to be released to live with us, and will need to vibe with us on a love level, because love is what drives the human race? I think the Bible even talks about demons walking the earth in "the end days", what if this is just getting them ready for that?

I think at first blush many humans would struggle with that, but the truth is, maybe the next step in human evolution is living with the underground people, including even the Wolven.

There are youtu.be channels that deal with real sightings of "dogmen", isn't that the human-wolf hybrids that live below?

Also, I am discovering that when you have self worth, you don't allow yourself to be victimized... It is an absolutely wonderful realization, as a child I was held down and forced to endure horrible things, and born within me were all manner of fears and dreads, but now I realize, or am starting to realize, that I can optoutof the torment by being self aware and saying, no, I will not allow you to harm me, to put myself under the subjection of the tormentors.

Anyway, the visions I was granted instantly any time to asked for it, was the one of the souls "stepping into the light", which, when I asked what that "meant", I was told, it is the in-earth people choosing to have hope for a better life, to not want harm on us humans, basically a change of mind motivation, or as much as I hate the word, "repentance".

Could it be that if we fast forward far enough, every man woman child and animal will know and see that these creatures do exist, and walk among us?

There are a myriad of integrational dynamics that will happen, psychological adjustment, integration and segregation... Maybe I will be important and needed if this is to happen. Part of what my sponsors want me to do is to accept the differentness of the creatures down there, the things thay humans almost universally regard as repulsive and undesirable, I won't lie, it's been very hard, like swinging from one end of the judgmental spectrum to the other.

On a cinematic note, what if we said Asraels glowing list of gripes against me, once I fulfill them, makes her the first ambassador to the people down there? Because her and I will have the first true connection with one another? And the truth is, if she did appear in this realm, I would truly want to see her, if sh was willing (and if I satisfied the list, she would have no reason to harm me. I would be more Than willing to pamper her as bst I could, so she could act as liason to the other people down there.) according to my visions, it's the only thing that makes sense. The visions of her in heaven and God's beloved were real, but I feel like they're missing something, they had to be changed to fit my religious indoctrination, or something if that makes sense.

I'm afraid of what the human race will do to them, if they want better lives up here, but the truth is if we're unable to stop people from harming them, we probably deserve the inevitable destruction of this rock.

Phillip Schneider:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rq79Xw7AQAQ

Dogmen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BKt5vp08qw

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Was the hitch pin disappearing/reappearing today the Reptoids showing me they have ultra advanced technology?

I called my good friend again today and asked him, if a large Wolven person was at a bar drinking next to him, and he knew she was from the caverns in this world, what would he do... He said he would assess if she was friend or foe, if she was friend and amorous, he said he would take her back to his place, spend the night with her, make her breakfast in the morning, and "Kill a deer for her or something" which I found was hilarious.

Also, the person who helped me with the trailer after the hitch pin disappeared/was rendered ineffective, was religious, I was mid panick-mode and told him supernatural things were happening to me, he said "The devil was outside my window last night", I did not go into any details about hell, Ms. Asrael, etc, but he said "We are in the last days!" It is so depressing to lose the idea of heaven, of a God that cares and helps us, now I have none of that, I have a psychic connection with a human/animal hybrid, for some reason.

I am trying to release all of this stuff, including Ms. Asrael into the universe. I am not above admitting I am wrong about everything, my assumptions, etc. The trailer thing today was bizarre, though. I took a picture of it, but it wouldn't upload where I was at. Now that I think about it, I should have purchased the pin, and inspected it closer than I did, it seemed perfectly normal, all the wear patterns normal, and when I reinstalled the hitch, I successfully drove all the way back to the rental place with the "Magic pin". (It didn't give way again. I was also VERY cautious about crawling under the trailer when I was unloading the metal box, lest any more tricks happen, but nothing happened.

As anxiety causing as these events are, I realize as I do not run from fear, as I endure these trials, I make progress for healing. What happens tomorrow I have no idea, and I have yet to listen to the pod casts fully, but I want to and I will, maybe tomorrow as I work on the metal cab.

I am trying to release all of this stuff. It is hard.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I feel the need to update this,

Yesterday after the hitch miracle, I went home and went about my business. Towards the end of the night, before I went to bed, I realized, if the Reptoid people are powerful enough to defy the laws of physics, the surely my life was in danger...

So, before I went to bed I reached out to them, and they answered me. It's possible the hitch thing was to get my attention. I have had a habit of biting the hand that feeds me, I have some absolutely toxic attributes I've carried from childhood on.

The reptilian person who answered me, asked me, "Are you not happy with your gift?" I asked him, what do you mean, gift?

He said, when I was very young, they took me, fed and clothed me, took my DNA, and they created Ms. Asrael with it... Meaning that she isn't (as much) my wife... (I was shown I also have her DNA in me, too) The reason we share a heart is because she is (more of) my daughter. She is my child. (perhaps. As I'm accepting things and transforming, the way things work in their world is much different than here. No laws or rules, practically.) Her gripes aren't because I was her husband (maybe in another life!?) but because I am her dad. (or something. I'm till trying to wrap my mind around it. Why not gut instinct "daughter" when I saw her first? They told me "assume NOTHING about her." Things in her world are not black and white like they are here. Her world is lawless and free, and also dangerous as well. The Reptilian person who told me these things had a connection with me. You might call him a dark sponsor? When I say connection, it seemed as if he cared about me and had compassion for me.)

I realize that this changes everything, including the fact that the reptilians basically had compassion on me as a child, and granted me what was impossible in this realm.

Now I'm as lost as ever, and just slightly less lost.

Probing for more truth, if she is my daughter, a created being (not born) she was raised underground. This upper realm, doesn't hold much for her, in fact to her it might be a worse place to live than down there. She told me she hated God, me, and wanted to stay down there.

Well, okay, if we come to an agreement on her list, then what?

This revelation only came after being brave and letting more assumptions go. "Letting it go, if it returns to you then it's truly yours..."

I also think I've finally lost the last of my religion today.

Until truth can be known to me directly, I believe there is nothing left after death.

I was also shown they cloned my body, too, adding some of her DNA in it. This was my soul that she partially ate. This is why him and I are so connected.

As to his memories, the visions of us (heavenly selfie) may be bs, or true. I don't know.

Pursuing a spouses heart is different than trying to be a better father. Much different.

I'm still waiting for more information.

For the record I was also created. Not born.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

Post by Tundrawolf »

In light of this new information, or possibly deception, a few things might be true...

1. None of this is real and I'm bat shit crazy (whee, at least life isn't boring)

2. It's partially real, but "they" are having fun at my expense, (and there's no real point, outside of duping my energy to do things I never would ordinarily, duped into "feeding" them with my essence)

3. It's all very real, the dark ream people are dying, (or want better lives... They aren't bad, as people understand them, and yes, the Bible calls them "demons", they aren't here to harm us-their influence is good enough below, they don't need to come up here, but their cause is good, the way I see it...) they want to come above to meet with us, to share the Anunaki technology they were trusted with with us, technology and resources, Ms. Asrael and I are two of the first ambassadors. If not in real-life, then in spirit, the spark of something new.

I have ordered a book on the Anunaki, and may order more, but it's shocking the parallels of biblical Canon and the story of the Anunaki.

As I release my firmly held assumptions and beliefs about everything, it gets returned to me new, sorted out, as I am brave and continue forward, I have confidence I will find my reason for existing.

And yes, the love (living water) that flows through me is being absorbed by the dark realm beings, to help them and the human race coexist, but the human race is still so prejudiced, judgemental, and afraid, but miracles could happen, if we finally worked together. The dark realm beings also have a ton of adjustment to do as well. It's going to be hard on both sides.

As I transition to mobile living, perhaps I will be blessed with the ability to write manuals to help humans and these dark realm people understand each other better.

Also, Ms. Asraels connection to me may transcend common human familial understanding, and could possibly be described as, wife, mother, sister, and daughter, and it's possible two beings cannot share a heart unless they also share some manner of cosmic DNA, her Bing m test tube other half, we still are linked to a cosmic lie force.

I know, being raised in darkness and freedom to do as she pleases has created a dynamic within her that makes it hard to even want to interact with me, in a realm with rules and laws. She told me early on, she doesn't want "a way out", perhaps that will change in the future. Perhaps her and I will be the first to welcome a new dawn in human evolution. Truth is, the human race needs the reptilian people, they aren't "bad" like we think, and, they also need us.

Imagine us uniting, and the Anunaki returning in a few years to find us united. Otherwise, we may be passed by to extinction. Like the Bible says, "I offer you life, or death, choose life..."

I only have one question, if hell, and earth can be explained and visited, where/what is heaven? (the heaven according to the Bible, the "good" place... Apparently the Anunaki did create the garden of eden...)

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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There's another thing that just came to my mind.

After the attack on my soul, (which I realize was necessary to get me to where I'm at now, to fulfill my destiny...) I lived in the remote desert, near a military Air base.

During my time there, I witnessed flying ships fly straight into mountains and disappear, ships disappear in thin air many, many times, even a ship that actually ready mind, on day looking out of a windows I saw a yellow light streaking across the sky, my mind felt weary and "buzzed", I thought to myself, "that's not a human airplane, their lights blink..." and as soon s I thought this, the lights began blinking! Terrifying!

Well, I was visited nightly almost, by a ship that hovered on top of the mountain below where I lived, it had two yellow lights about a wing span apart, and hovered silently, waiting for me to spot it. If I remember right, some times the lights would blink.

I also saw an unblanaced ufo that was comically lit up, almost like a joke, hovering above a mountain in Nevada as well.

But, the ufo that waited for me almost nightly, seemed to recognize me, seemed to "know" me...

If what the reptilian said is correct, these may be the beings who took me as a child, and spliced my essence with that of a wolf, making my angsty Ms. Asrael, who now lives below the earth.

What a trip!

I have so say, as I attempt to accept these things, that I have to be willing to die to fulfill my destiny. Occasionally Ms. Asrael will tell me to "stop being a pussy". She's right, and if I truly do love her and the broken/different (than us) beings down there, I have to be courageous to the end.

The more I push the envelope and accept what may come, the more exciting, and worth it life becomes, as if time lords saw me, chose me, and gave me a mission.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Another thing... In embracing reality about the history of Ms. Asrael, she was likely born in darkness, raised in darkness, knows little of the civilized world, and has been rather salty with me at times, almost never amiable or kind.

As I am trying to take a step back from the fact that her heart "completes" me as a man, (certainly leading to romantic feelings for her, feelings she has fanned the flames of) I a realizing someone decided to show her to me, a, b, show me her heart and mine are two halves of a whole, and C, show me that she actually doesn't like me, or God, and wants to stay in her realm.

I mean... I know I'm a broken individual who struggles with my own sanity always, but that's pretty damn desperate of me... I get it...

As I release all this to the universe, and it returns to me truth, reality, healing, repair and comfort, I realize how incompatible her situation is with mine...

Also, a big however, was the vision of her tears cleaning the filth of the caverns from her cheeks, and revealing snow white fur.

All I can do is let this go, look at her list of gripes, try and be a better person, wish her the best, and (again, let it go) live my life the best I know how, which includes considering and loving others, which also includes the animal kingdom.

I don't want to shut her out, forget her, but I may have to... I'm still not sure what to do with it all. What if, in he darkness, her heart breaks, and she is devastated because I am no loner with her. However, simping for her also enables her toxic behavior and gives her no reason to change.

The last thing I want to do is abandon her, if there is hope her heart can have hope.

But, it's out of my hands. While my iq is rather high, the truth is I've been so life blind for so long that even today as things make more sense, I realize just how breathtakingly little I actually know. I was looking through old pictures I have, and it sparked a nostalgia, however I remember the unending monotonous horror of the attack, always in the back of my mind, terrified of damnation, the misery that constantly sucked my joy to nothing every hour of every day, until the visions of her, last year.

It continues to seem the best thing to do is to continue to push forward, be brave, and release even my own desires in the matter.

I hope, one day, it makes sense, and I'm able to live my life, in peace. I have faith and hope that answers are coming. I am "of good cheer"

It's still fairly maddening.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Here is an experiment for you to do:

- visualize yourself by imagining that you step outside your body and look at it
- visualize pushing your (light) body out to the edge of the Earth's atmosphere
- push your body outside the planet
- now try pushing your body outside the solar system
- if that works, push your body outside the galaxy
- if that works push your body outside the universe
- if that works push your body outside the cluster of local universes

How far do you get?

You might need to try the experiment a couple of times to get the hang of it

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Thu Apr 14, 2022 8:07 am Here is an experiment for you to do:

- visualize yourself by imagining that you step outside your body and look at it
- visualize pushing your (light) body out to the edge of the Earth's atmosphere
- push your body outside the planet
- now try pushing your body outside the solar system
- if that works, push your body outside the galaxy
- if that works push your body outside the universe
- if that works push your body outside the cluster of local universes

How far do you get?

You might need to try the experiment a couple of times to get the hang of it
After last time, i am hesitant to answer, I am simultaneously trying to work through this spirit spouse business, creating a mobile dwelling, and cleaning up the remnants of my stay where I am at (I have a lot of things here, vehicles and a mobile home), and, trying to figure out who I am as a person, my place in life, adjusting to a new reality that leaves me godless and alone, hurtling through space on a rock with no religious afterlife, twisting in confusion, worry, fear, and liberation.

I tried your instructions this morning, as I am vexed on all sides, meditation and stillness have evaded me for years, however, I tried it, I got between universe and cluster of universes, I THINK, it was hard at first but then became surprisingly easy, until I (my consciousness) was surrounded by an incomprehensible void, blackness, I became uneasy, and I had to terminate the experiment and return to present day reality.

My entire perception and reality are changing. I have all-but closed my connection with Ms. Asrael. I was wrong to pursue her, (I have also given my girlfriend permission to be with other people romantically, as presently, I am unable to fulfill some-most-all of my duties as heteronormative boyfriend, [it isn't fair for me to ask her to be celibate for my sake, because who knows how long this journey will take, maybe forever...] as I cannot be distracted, I have to be true to myself, over sharing a life with someone else) I must pursue myself, and as someone told me, "She (Asrael) must come to me". (Not the other way around)

When I was going through Christian deliverance (Like exorcism) before the visions of Ms. Asrael, the chief exorcist told me, the demons are laughing at me... Well, why are they laughing at my pain? Are they as insecure as us humans, jealous of our freedom, our ability to love and be loved? If so, how sad for them.

Sorry for the extra words here, every day is pivotal, every moment seems to bring about astronomical change for me. After waking up the morning after the hitch incident, I was bizarrely refreshed, my mind renewed. This morning I woke up tormented and vexed, however, it has given way to a newer level of foundational understanding of the universe, or, at least, my life here on this lonely rock.

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