What happened to me?

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Original post: Leviathan

I advise...if you see a Psychologist; have him experience PERSONAL TESTIMONY from your friends about the situation that you describe..so that he doesn't mark you off as a delusional case and shove a shit-load of meds down your throat...i've been that route when I first found out that I was clairvoyant, and could see things beyond this earth-relate to them, or know things (as you've said) beyond the average individual your age, or even any average elder individual's intelligence.

I have found, that demons can be a VERY powerful tool; but only if they are controlled...in this case, it appears as if you're far from controlling them...I would rid them of myself as soon as possible.
If you do not know how...seek out the Ceremonial Magick Forum so you can find an assortment of Banishing Rituals to attempt; I say, try them all! just to be on the safe side.

Not getting sleep, in a situation like this, where you can become easily influenced by spirits-is NOT a good thing to do. If you must, stay at a friend's house...but whatever you do, get some sleep! it'll make you less vulnerable, less weak to the will of these spirits...and stronger in mind, so that you can deny them.

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: DeathOmen

well, i dont much mind being controlled, its just i get in a lot of shit because of this thing...so its pissing me off. just today i was not far from shoving a pencil through my boyfriends throat(im a girl mind you)and beating the shit out of him...of course it was a thought i quickly banished from my mind....
i dont know if its a 6th sense or not, but i do know that i have very good sense, in things like something is coming behind you really fast or even preminisions....sometimes my mind thinks ahead of my body, like two seconds ahead and i literally know what a persons respons will be, but all of it is involuntary. i dont know if its just im a lucky kiddo or something but ive never been able to sense stuff like that sense last year...i mean, im not saying this from a teen perspective, i mean, i really have an excellent sense of whats going on around me, even if i pay no attention whatsoever...someones watching over me...yes?

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Original post: different

ok ive read only half the forum past where i posted last and i am misunderstood yet again.

Clarify, for the most part fiat_lux_777 is right. you dont care what i look like. Im speaking of the world i live in everyday.

Now as for me not not "Practicing what i preach" i do. I do my best to not make pre-misconjucated judgements about other that i do not know. I try to keep an open mind about things.

My Classifications of people are very general only to explain a point. you see people are very adverse and unclassifiable. Thats where it comes down to define "normal"
Oh, and you said that im putting myself in a group when i dress "goth". Your right if you compare me to the rest of the world. But your wrong when you compare me to the community i live in. I'm the ONLY "goth" in my community. So i am different.

Yes i like violence and blood. Does that make me mentally disturbed no. i just enjoy it. to you it makes me disturbed because the scene of violence and blood to the real world is disturbing, but not to me. Oh, and i have experienced violence and blood. I have been jumped by a gang, and i came out on top. I had to fight dirty and i had to use a baseball bat and i did get messed up a bit, but it was them that went running away. im no stranger to violence and blood. FYI i do know that im not the biggest and baddest out there and i do know that there are people that can give me what for so thats why i do not boast. What i have said is only being used as an example not as a boastful statement.

I do not assume that know one here understands me. Its just that most of the time i am always having to explain myself. Yes some people dont understand me and i have no problem with that. Its the people that dont understand me so they either fear me or they associate me with things that im not assciated with.

oh and my signiture "Live in the fast lane, Die the fast way"
That only means live on the edge. whats the point of living in a plastic bubble being scared of the world when you can go out and take risk and live life. Have fun do things to the extreme. And when you do mess up you either have to start all over or you have die quickly. Only the quote is a easier way to say it.

Its not necessarily death that facinates me. I just say death because it is easier. and yes i don know that thousands do it every day. its what is after death. i like death because most are scared of it. but if you think about it they are scared of it because they dont know whats after it and the only way to find out is to die yourself.

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: Hangatyr 13

Now, I've ridiculed some people on this forum before for making some outrageous claims, but I admit now that I shouldn't have done that. Nowadays, when someone makes a claim that I'm pretty sure is BS, I generally ignore it. Ridiculing new people with some out-of-the-ordinary claims solves nothing and all anyone learns from it is how to be an asshole. Is this Occultforums.com or is it psuedo-enlightened-armchair-psychiatry.com? If a person comes on this forum with a question about the occult, they expect an answer that pertains to the occult, not "go see a shrink". People on this site talk about scrying, godform assumption, and demonic infestations all the time. I have a friend who actually had experiences that were very similar to this. Why are automatically assuming there's some kind of mental illness involved and what does being a goth have to do with the subject at hand? Here's a neat concept: If you have nothing useful to say, then kindly don't say anything at all.

Deathomen, heh heh, you seem to have such potential! Have you ever played with a ouija board? You do know that when you use one, you're kind of being possesed right? Like a few of the other posters here have suggested, I would suggest learning how to banish. My banishing of choice is Edred Thorrson's Hammer Banishing, but that's a bit harder to find than the Lesser Banishing Ritual Of The Pentegram, and with the LBRP, you don't have to memorize the Elder Futhark. Some herbs that are good to use in banishings are sage, dragon's blood, and salt. Here are some other suggestions: Have you tried talking back to them? Try calling them to your mirror to find out exactly what they want, but only after you have learned to protect yourself from them. Another idea is that you can try controlling them. Spirits like demons almost always have a purpose. I'm sure that you could make good use of whatever their particular purposes are. When spirits are not serving their purpose, they tend to run amuck, just like in the story of the Golem.

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: Arayus

Yes: Put them to work or banish them. Your experience reminds me of a personal one and my own introduction to goetic demons in this lifetime when I was summoned and amid hisses and clashing steel I heard a story similar to the one you spoke: How they knew about me and I was a part of them, and they were coming to collect my energy for their war, their army.

The power they offered was immense, almost immessurable to my senses at the time. I told them one thing: "No." I have felt my power grow daily since, and I walk the astral plane now with no fear. Well. Less fear.

I do not know everything about the economy of souls and energy, but I would be quite worried if these spirits you are witnessing were idle in your space and time with no commanded direction or binding.

Put them to work or banish them. I recommend you banish them and learn more. I agree you have potential, but if you are being honest you sound reckless (and this could be dangerous to you or the people around you ie: your boyfriend.)

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Original post: LadyHydralisk

I concur with Hangatyr's response.

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Original post: fourp1ay

omg..... DeathOmen please read the responses I gave you in the other thread.

You are possesed... wake up to it already and get rid of it.

They DO try and trick you into thinking they only want to help you... your going to kill someone else or kill yourself soon...

Your enhanced abilities are a side effect of the neg attatched to you...the neg messing around with your energy body and activating certain chakras and you both living in the same body cause this... It can seriously unbalance your energy body.. Psychic abilities are achievable by ANYONE just a bit of work is required to activate your chakras. It is a lot safer than having an extremely dangerious and powerful neg USING you while aiming to DESTROY you at the same time.

I'm not going to bother you anymore I've told you the facts and what you can do about it.. I'm not surprised if you decide not to do anything about it but keep posting your situation the neg just fuels your ego even more.

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: fourp1ay

I urge all you people who enjoy blood and voilence to seek help unless you enjoy having negative entities attatched to you.

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: Hangatyr 13

[QUOTE=fourp1ay]I urge all you people who enjoy blood and voilence to seek help unless you enjoy having negative entities attatched to you.[/QUOTE]Has it ever occured to you that maybe all those qualities you deem "evil" are just naturally occuring qualities within all of us? Just because someone enjoys blood and violence doesn't mean they're possessed. If I wanted to, I could say that you have a negative entity attached to you, and that it is trying to weaken you by filling your head with a bunch of "holier than thou" bullshit.

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: fourp1ay

No Hangatyre... I'm saying there is a strong chance that you been influenced by a neg if thats the case. No one naturally starts liking and enjoying murder etc. Eg. DeathOmens thinking of all the ways she can destroy someone and spontaneous images/thoughts popping into her head telling her to kill her brother and stab other people etc.

And yes I used to have a neg attatched to me...fortunately it wasn't very powerful or intelligent. I've also had another attempt by a neg to enter me but I managed to kick it out almost immediately.. Am i going over your head now because you can't comprehend what such an experience would feel like ? That is how and why I started learning about the issue so I could defend myself..

If you are just an armchair expert though who learnt everything they knew off Sabrina the Teenage Witch let me know we all start somewhere.:razz:

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: Lord Drago

After reading the threads begfun by DeathOmen, I feel compelled to give my perspective on the situation. If I miss a view details of the comments, sorry.

I, too, remember looking at the face in the mirror at the age of 22, thinking that the person staring back at me was evil. That he was the Antichrist, or, at least, the false prophet. Imagine feeling these things when you are a born-again christian fundamendalist conservative republican? As the months went by, I experienced things that would be considered paranormal &/or supernatural. At least, that is what I remember of two years of my life.

As the years went by, I would experience depression with periodic outburst of anger/rage, both in provate and in public (including work). Not a pretty sight. In 1999, the rage was so deep that I was planning on taking out a few people that I hated using weapons of mass destruction, then taking a flying leap off a building crashing through the glass canopy in front of my best friend. Sick and twisted, huh? By October 2002, I was in a major league depression and severey suicidal. Guess what? I was diagnosed with manic depression with psychotic bouts. Medication saved my life giving me the opportunity to deal with my personal demons (hatred of people, anger/rage, guilt, blah.....). It also allowed my the chance to learn about the occult, about the dark side, and to throw off the shackles of christianity, conservatism and republicanism.

Can you say, "Praise the lord?"

My point, in this rambling comment, is that if you want to do what you want to do in life, if you want to deal with these intense feelings (believe, I'm 43 and I have them all the time!), then you need to actively seek out someone to guide you and teach you. Preferably human, preferably someone who gets what you're feeling. You must learn to control these feelings, these emotions or they will be your downfall. This is true whether you are 16 or 43.

Been there, done that, bought that t-shirt many times.

Lord Drago

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: Hangatyr 13

[QUOTE=fourp1ay]No Hangatyre... I'm saying there is a strong chance that you been influenced by a neg if thats the case. No one naturally starts liking and enjoying murder etc. Eg. DeathOmens thinking of all the ways she can destroy someone and spontaneous images/thoughts popping into her head telling her to kill her brother and stab other people etc.

And yes I used to have a neg attatched to me...fortunately it wasn't very powerful or intelligent. I've also had another attempt by a neg to enter me but I managed to kick it out almost immediately.. Am i going over your head now because you can't comprehend what such an experience would feel like ? That is how and why I started learning about the issue so I could defend myself..

If you are just an armchair expert though who learnt everything they knew off Sabrina the Teenage Witch let me know we all start somewhere.:razz:[/QUOTE]"Armchair expert"? No, that's not the case here. I never offer advice on something I don't know about.

As far as Deathomen being influenced by an entity goes, we've already considered the possibilty, but have you ever heard of the idea of "like attracts like"? It's real. And yes, some people do start natuarlly liking and enjoying murder, etc, or in Deathomen's case becoming interested in it. Incase you haven't been reading the thread, many of us have suggested that she learn banishings so that she can get rid of them if need be. You do know what a banishing is right?

So you've been possessed before? That doesn't surprize me. No, you're not going over my head. Yes, you're right in assuming that I don't know what such an experience would feel like. I don't know what possession feels like nor do I want to know. Infact, I doubt I'll ever know, but I have seen it happen to other people. Any work I've done with any entities lesser than the gods themselves has been with myself as the one in control with the possible exception of ouija boards, which I've already been over.

The above was posted under the assumption that you are infact someone who has experience with possession, even if you do have a rather bias outlook on it. If you're just a fundie with intentions on bullshitting people into adhereing to your morality, then please, let us know.

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: Dragan

[QUOTE=different]We just happen to like what is considered dark and bad. we just happen to like violence and blood, and so called evil.[/QUOTE]
This sort of thing really insults me... You like violence and blood!? Ever lived throught a war? I did. Ever seen how someone looks after stepping on a mine? I did. Ever seen a burnt child, the cause bombarding? I did. Do not dare to say you like violence. No, not until you lived throught it. I live in a contry torn by wars and hate. Lived here 21 years. You, who seen violence only on televison, have no right to say anything about it. Not to mention that i am absolytly sure that you would be the first to run. Lad, you need to fix that attitude of yours.

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Original post: LadyHydralisk

I like and enjoy er..."murder" but I'm not a bad person and I can control these influences. Not everyone equates violence and blood with dead kids...Can we say Fnord? How about divine justice man? Who are you to criticize the ways of the universe...who are you, to say I am wrong for enjoying my job?

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Original post: Fra. Vincit Veritas

[QUOTE=LadyHydralisk]Not everyone equates violence and blood with dead kids...[/QUOTE]No, this is true.

For some on OF, violence and blood are no more than symbols; the antithesis of the ennui they feel due to living boring, comfortable lives in a rich and peaceful country.

Some on OF equate blood and violence with just being different.

In fact, some on OF have led lives so cushioned from harsh realities that they are apparently outraged when someone dares to suggest that violence and blood does indeed mean dead kids, perhaps even kids the poster has known and loved.

Those who prate on here about the appeal of blood and violence lack all credibility. Anyone truly dedicated to gore and death is out there doing it -- hanging with the mullahs in Fallujah trying to take out a Marine, riding with the Sudanese police attacking refugee women, cruising one of Rio's favelas hunting down a kid to slaughter, riding with their posse in Tijuana checking out which woman they want to gang rape and kill next.

Anyone with half the usual human's allocation of brains and empathy would find those images sickening.

But, hey! Not to worry if you don't! That just means you're different and different is cool.

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Original post: adept_nul

[QUOTE=fourp1ay]I urge all you people who enjoy blood and voilence to seek help unless you enjoy having negative entities attatched to you.[/QUOTE]

I like having women attached to me

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: Hangatyr 13

For some on OF, violence and blood are no more than symbols; the antithesis of the ennui they feel due to living boring, comfortable lives in a rich and peaceful country.

This is true, but keep in mind that there is a difference between fantasy violence and real-life violence, namely, that no one gets hurt or arrested with fantasy violence, and fantasy violence can act as an outlet for urges to commit acts of real violence. Fantasy and reality, get it? It is also true that many of us don't get to see much real-life violence, but if it makes you feel better, I think we should. Infact, I'd love to see more people carry out their facination with blood and violence to it's logical conclusion. They might end up with a scar on their face like me, or maybe just a good job in the military.

Anyone truly dedicated to gore and death is out there doing it -- hanging with the mullahs in Fallujah trying to take out a Marine, riding with the Sudanese police attacking refugee women, cruising one of Rio's favelas hunting down a kid to slaughter, riding with their posse in Tijuana checking out which woman they want to gang rape and kill next.

Anyone with half the usual human's allocation of brains and empathy would find those images sickening.

I'm not sickened by these images, but I'm actually pretty intelligent and in control of my emaphy. I could go on to say that "Anyone who is sickened by these images is pathetic and weak!", but I don't come on these forums to be an asshole, nor do I come here to push my world view/style of dress/morality or lack there of onto others. Having people who are different makes internet forums more interesting.

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Original post: adept_nul

[QUOTE=Fra. Vincit Veritas]But, hey! Not to worry if you don't! That just means you're different and different is cool.[/QUOTE]

Yet again you seem to have hit the nail squarely on the head

Blood and Violence, surely this kind of goth posturing is beneath us?
'Look, I sacred the norms again, look how scary I am with my Manson t-shirt'. Sheesh, give it a rest. Violence is not about looking hard, it is about being willing to inflict violence upon another person. I used to be in the police and saw loads of friday-night fights outside the pubs. Most people just don't have it in them to beat the crap out of another person, to inflict serious violence to another human being.

I have dealt with seriously scary people, the kind of people that would cut you open with a knife of kick you in the head. Goth kiddies just don't even register on the scareometer Satanists don't register either, even if they do pose with a black robe and a knife.

So all those who profess a love of death, violence, blood etc....take a trip to certain estates in Glasgow on a friday night and see how long you last. I bet about 20 seconds!

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Original post: Dragan

[QUOTE=LadyHydralisk]I like and enjoy er..."murder" but I'm not a bad person and I can control these influences. Not everyone equates violence and blood with dead kids...Can we say Fnord? How about divine justice man? Who are you to criticize the ways of the universe...who are you, to say I am wrong for enjoying my job?[/QUOTE]Nai, i did not say that people who are doing it have no right of enjoying it, or gave any critics to people living through it and speaking about liking it nor i criticized the ways of the universe. It is just quite hard to hear someone for whom i can be amlost completly sure that he did NOT live throught violence, bosting about how he enjoys it. I shall apologize if i sounded a bit too assultive, but you must understand how it feels...

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Original post: visceral/spagyrical

DeathOmen,

The fact that you see these changes in the mirror when you get pissed in the morning tells me that what you're seeing may be your shadow. I'd suggest talking to it some more. Talk to it until it doesn't bother you anymore.

I see my shadow quite often if I'm angry about something prior to meditation. He's about a foot shorter than me. Emaciated. And very sad. Though I find he's quite comforting to be around. Sometimes I even feel him walking or standing next to me when I'm out and about or just working at my desk.

v/s

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: fourp1ay

This is a PM I got from DeathOmen few days ago...

im glad you can see it too
last night i woke up and i felt like i had been running, and then i felt very scared, like i had lost control of myself...and for a moment i did, i can explain too much without sounding crazy, but last night i felt like that would be the last time my thoughts were my own...i have always thought i was possessed, i knew it wasnt insanity because i still had the type of control that in insanity does not exist...anything to do with magik and stuff i cant get, my parents are against it, there is not much i can do, besides that, i dont want to...its hard to explain. yesterday i was driving in my moms car and she was playing christian music, and at some point i began to feel sick. she never turned it off all the ways home, and i was miserable.i am not even supposed to be on these forums, but im very afraid im about to do something bad, please, when you get this respond ASAP, im so glad you could see and give me the advice i need, ill really try. i dont want to be this way, and i dont know how to stop being this way...this is my last call for help, im pretty sure that i wont be the same after a few days. please, all that im typing is true, please respond.


Thats the last I've heard from her I honestly hope she is alright
I responded but haven't heard from her in about 3 days :S If anyone sees her online or anything let me know.

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Original post: the nameless

fourp1ay I concur with your point of view, IMO DeathOmen is dealing with a potentially dangerous situation

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Original post: fourp1ay

More than just potentially.. shes in it VERY deep because she has let it go for so long.. I just hope her intuition is wrong about the "last night i felt like that would be the last time my thoughts" even though intuition tends to be right about big events especially when your in touch with it :/

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Original post: Quidgyboo

[QUOTE=fourp1ay]More than just potentially.. shes in it VERY deep because she has let it go for so long.. I just hope her intuition is wrong about the "last night i felt like that would be the last time my thoughts" even though intuition tends to be right about big events especially when your in touch with it :/[/QUOTE] If it is a negative entity then it could be influencing her core and intuition. So, hopefully, she is wrong. Although neg-control and influence is possible, actually taking full control is quite difficult for them.

I think she will be ok, with some help and time. If you can, instruct her to study the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram and do that 2 or 3 times a day. It should help to weed the neg out and ground her spirit.

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Original post: adept_nul

I do so like the 'armchair experts' here who can diagnose possession over the internet.
Just looks like more angsty goth ravings to me, but I do find it interesting that a 15 year old kid claims she is not insane because she "still had the type of control that in insanity does not exist...", she seems to dismiss the fact that she might need to go to a psychiatrist for a check up.

What really interests me about these forums is the amount of people who have lost the skeptical part of the mind and just see the world in 'paranormal-vision'. Demonic possession *is* possible in this case, but far more likely is that DeathOmen is just an attention seeking goth-ette. Feel free to feed her angsty ego with your faux concern and half baked theories, it give a few of us some really good laughs