I think i need a beauty spell

[Niponic]

''I think'' because im not sure what kind of spell im looking for really.
I need to look attractive and beautiful lol. I know it sounds vain and all that, there are many reasons why i want this (ie conquer boys, look good at job, become more aproachable... etc)
A few months i started working on this. Ive lost weight, i started going to the gym etc.
I have some of the will power, but my problem is: some days i wake up and feel like theres so much negative energy that makes me feel down, like im worthless and that its not worth looking good. Its those days that ruin everything for me, i wind up binging on very bad foods (which is not good for me because i suffer from IBS, coeliacs disease and to top it i have stomach ulcers), then im ill and miserable for a couple of weeks. and then i have a hard time going back to good habits..
Its as if this negative energy is really controling me. I wonder if its me, or just because other people dont like to see me succeeding. either way i need to get rid of this. Is it a beauty spell i need?

Thanks:D

[Rin]

Well, there's no such thing as a spell which will just change your appearance. You could try a glamor type spell to make people 'perceive' you as more beautiful, but it sounds like your issue isn't your actual appearance so much as the self esteem issues stemming from it. For that, I'd recommend looking at the steps laid out for changing negative personality traits in Franz Bardon's Initiation Into Hermetics. It's more of a long term process, but I found it worked extremely well for me, personally. And once you deal with the self esteem problems, you can work on addressing your actual appearance via working out etc. without worrying about your mind sabotaging you. Gl.

[Vulpecula]

In all honesty, you are doing more than most, making effort and following through. Congratulations and good on you

Your low self esteem is coming from somewhere or someone. It is hard, I know all too well. But you have been doing the right thing. If you wish to target something, go for that low self esteem. Never berate yourself, never indulge in negative self talk. If you start to, tell yourself, vocally as well to stop it. (Yes that is berating yourself as well!)

The mind is a very powerful thing. Our self identity comes from a life of associating with certain things. "I am black/white rich/poor overweight/underweight" and so on, we form associations very easily and the brain chatters constantly. You can change them, or abolish them, and in my opinion once you realise where those nasty thoughts are coming from, abolishing them is just a matter of acknowledging where they came from and why you think that.

Be honest with yourself and you will realise you are "over the hump", you are doing the right thing, keep going and you will reach your goal.