Summoning of the Great Gum

[Ramscha]

Great Gummy Bear Summoning

Hello dear friends,

Once upon a time I was introduced by Aunty Bob and Uncle Brittney into the art of absurdity. “A mage has to live!” they whispered to me during a long long night. This night was so long, they cannot even remember when it began….. anyway. I was introduced to what lures beyond the costume of traditional craft and conformity and nonconformity. There is nothing, just an empty space which you can fill with laughter. And that was what they told me to do. And so I did:

I will show you now how to summon the spirit of the great gummy bear. It is important for you to always smile. If you drop the smile, you have to bow down with your rear as high in the air as possible and pick the smile up again. If you can’t find the smile or accidently fart during the picking up procedure, this is no problem. It is just important that you do the procedure because it isn’t important. But now I will start, I promise!

Material:
- Big gummy bear (1 kg version or bigger, Haribo offers them)
- Needles
- Some paper
- Scissors
- Possibility to make music
- Glue
- Fun
- Something to write (blood ink, a pen, finger paints, tattoo equipment, etc.)
- Whatever else you want to include

Preparation:
Clear your ritual space, depending on your approach you might need some space! You put your big gummy bear into the center of the ritual place and start to decorate it however you like. A small Tiara and a Tutu are a classical outfit if you want to honor Uncle Brittney and Aunty Bob. Additionally a green thong or a cigar might be a nice approach as well. Just avoid chocolate. Or not. You should(n’t).
Bring in whatever else you may need( candles, dagger, spoons, etc.) and make the music ready. A good one-hour-GOA-mix would be a possible choice for this kind of stuff. If you don’t have any other favorites you could go with it. Make the needles ready and write down on the paper what comes to your mind. Curses, names, wishes, poems, chaos letters, random words,….. the choice is yours. Maybe some of everything, just to be sure. Glue the paper pieces then to the needles and make them ready. The funn is about to begin.

Procedure:
1) Turn on the music

2)
a. OMNIL formula/ cabbalistic cross/ IAO/ whatever else
b. You may also start with some sort of LBPR (the versions are countless)
c. Whatever else suits you best as opening

3) Go around the holy bear for 3 times and make your first laughter

4) Jump over the gummy bear or around it for 3 times and make your second laughter

5) Sit in front of its face and look it into the eyes, then make your third laughter for 3 times

6) Start with the invitation
In this stage you can bow before and make a short impulse, visualize the bear moving, some portal opening or you may recite some poem or text you find fitting or unfitting. As an example I will give a part of my own introduction (the only part of it that I actual remember):

For uncle Bob and Aunty Brittney,
no, the other way round!
I call upon the fluffy plaines
where the old and yummy Ones reside.
Hear my voice, Lord of the Gum!
A vessel is ready for your liking.
Take a lick as I will do
and in this holy kiss combined
our yummy love will bloom….

(at this part I licked the bears nose) [blush]

You may guess how it continues. Or you improvise. Or you dance.

7) Now it is time for the consciousness shift to make an actual communication possible. You may enter the fluffy Gum plains or try to invite the Lord to yours, he and you will see what happens.
The main point is now to actually get things started. The invitation should have already induced a light trance. This should now be enhanced via

a. Laughter ( I recommend this one, rolling on the floor laughing and screaming is one of the most intense instant trance inductions one can do without much effort)
b. Dance
c. Alcohol
d. Swinging
e. Singing
f. Turning in circles
g. All combined
h. Choose something else, I am running out of ideas.

8. Now in this state only the Gum knows what happens to you. Have fun!

9) When you return to this plain again, take a first moment to get your wits together. Now after your adventure you may have the possibility to do some lower magick too if you have the gums permission. He may grant it.

Remember the needles with the paper? Take them and lick the bears nose 3 times, then give him a sweet kiss. Choose now your needles and stick them into the bear. Now your new Totem is charged and will or will not grant the stuff which is written on the paper. If this is completed, lick the nose again (how often you like) and thank the bear.

10) Now you may take your leave from the bear or thank him or tell him a story.

11) If you want to let the bear return, give him a proper farewell. You may sing a song for his fare well or release him with grateful and proud showers of little gummy bears as an offer. In the end you should clearly state a farewell so that he knows what your twisted mind actually wants.

12) Make a banishing to close the door behind the Great Gum, if you did the LBPR this would be the closing part. If you did not, you might simply do a banishing laugher.

After the ritual. You might now honor the presence of the big bear by putting the pierced bear into your room as a decoration for some time. Or you may eat it to release its power if it does not by itself. When you want to get rid of it without taking the pleasure of eating (be careful with the needles while eating!), be discrete or do it while honoring the bear, because he will be most likely watching his new apprentice. You may have some time for thinking how to proceed considering the long life of the Bear (he might outlive your own children).

The whole ritual is subject to critic as well as amusement. You may perform the ritual or changing it to your own liking.

Hail the GREAT GUM! [pray]

[Ramscha]

The opening Post was my Post number "599" which gives in sum 5+9+9=23 which gives in sum 2+3=5.
As 5 is the holy number of Eris I therefore declare this to a sign in name of Discordia. Hence, as High priest and leader of the Roman Army for Sugar, Chocolate, Honeys and Acceleration I have to warn you as the Pentabarf has clearly stated its holy prescence . If you don’t want or cannot bear this burden, I ask you to leave this thread immediately!

RAMSCHA

[manofsands]

Ram.... you is a nut.

You know this, right?

[geek2]

[Ramscha]

Well, I thought it is a pretty solid ritual plan as well as use of symbolism. [crazy]

[RoseRed]

Hence, as High priest and leader of the Roman Army for Sugar, Chocolate, Honeys and Acceleration

Chocolate and fast cars - I'm so in!

What kind of weapons do we get?

[Ramscha]

Hence, as High priest and leader of the Roman Army for Sugar, Chocolate, Honeys and Acceleration

Chocolate and fast cars - I'm so in!

What kind of weapons do we get?

High Quality gummy armor blessed by the Gummy Bear himself.

[ShubNiggurath]

[eek]

[RoseRed]

whoohoo!!!!!

Where do I sign up?

[Ramscha]

whoohoo!!!!!

Where do I sign up?

Good question. I should ask the bear about it next time. Thing is, a secretary is expensive, even the part timers [bummed]

[RoseRed]

Can we get katanas and hand grenades?