Your biggest hindrance?

[Desecrated]

What is your biggest hindrance or problem when it comes to the occult.
Theoretical knowledge? practical knowledge? time management? motivation?

Why are you not the 33 degree, black belt, supreme, alpha, headmaster of the wizarding school that you want to be?

[Ramscha]

What is your biggest hindrance or problem when it comes to the occult.
Theoretical knowledge? practical knowledge? time management? motivation?

Why are you not the 33 degree, black belt, supreme, alpha, headmaster of the wizarding school that you want to be?

Because outside of their systems those whatever-titles are meaningless and even inside they are just a mark.

What*s the problem of the occult, of my occult? It is just the vessel, the only tool really needed for the start. It is me, babylon!

[Nahemah]

I'm a natural underachiever,lol [crazy]

For me mostly these days it's the time management thing.

If I didn't need to sleep,I'd have plenty of time.

[Asurendra]

Myself

[Circles]

Myself

This, and my cats.

[Ouroboress]

For me, it's lack of direction. I do not fully relate to a single school of thought, so I'm hesitant to seek out other people practicing established practices. I'm a hands-on learner and a slow reader, so I don't always flourish when learning from books. Intuitive learning and experimenting is great, but often lacks structure, which is very helpful to me.

In other words, fear.

But it's getting better all the time.

Good question, Desecrated.

[Cybernetic_Jazz]

Just pointing out a specific thing I've noticed about myself recently - occasionally when I'm doing the kind of meditation where I'm kind of snuggling with the universe and trying to merge myself with its love and will I find myself being either in a situation where it seems to be taking the precursory motions of wanting to draw me in right then or there or, if I'm lucky enough to have sort of a semi-hypnogogic meditation where I'm tired enough to be in sort of a dream-border situation, yesterday is a good example, I was there when a series of colors seemed to pull me in deeply - a deep green, copper, black, the black was leading me into a sort of whirlpool or funnel that was stearing me toward an event horizon to which if I followed it far enough I had no idea if I'd be able to get back. The black was turning to a bright silver which I knew was last call and it very much felt like the silver was the very last call for either pulling out of it or forever holding my peace.

In that I could extract this:
1) For as much as I want to expand myself beyond the immediate material realm it seems all too true that on levels deeper than I'm very often aware of. Part of this might still be some residual belief that I could be lovingly seduced right down into a funnel to hell and it gets scary because I know that once I go that far it goes beyond my control and I'm at the mercy of whatever is guiding me.
2) While I've done the right thing and fallen in love with routine and the road of getting to the result rather than just the result - its as if some big leap forward comes at me like something perhaps that would be the beginning of a shift into the astral, for whatever reason my mind identifies it as a nuissance, something that would get in the way of my routine or side-track my meditation, and of course the blatant irony is that it's ultimately what I was hoping for perhaps hitting me sooner than I was comfortable with, before I was really ready to relinquish myself, and because of that I'd pull back.

I'm guessing then again that if these bits of stubbornness are in me its likely the universe finding its way of making me aware of these pockets of resistance so I can work on them and the more often I encounter them these situations they'll eventually become routine rather than shocking and each time they occur I'll probably be more at peace, more comfortable, and less likely to pull out in either annoyance or, perhaps another metaphor for the fear of the whirlpools and event horizons - spiritual acrophobia (because in a way it does feel like being at the top of the first hill of the Millenium Force at Cedar Point or being on top of a 30 story building and something with its arms around you about to take you over the side into open air - the same kind of self-preservation impulse kicks in to compensate).

So far I'm not really competing against anyone, I enjoy simply driving forward and learning as much as I can as I go, whether I'll ultimately head more in a pagan mystic or Christian mystic direction is hard to say (to me they seem 99% identical so far), I had the desire to perhaps in this life get to the second veil but then again to be truthful I still have no idea in actuality what that means and what the real scope is for one to get to 5=6, 7=4, 8=3, so while it was an interesting goal when I first started I hold it as losely as I can - ie. one of the organizations I'm in believes that its founder who actually died a mystic death for a transition (ie. forged a body) did not enter Malkuth (10=1) in his lifetime, and if his knowledge is really as profound as I'm finding it seems like everyone seems to be talking about different trees. Perhaps the Malkuth their talking about is above the Kether of the tree that most GD addresses? It's so fractal and repeating that it's still quite difficult for me to tell exactly what it is people are saying when they refer to sephiratic initiations.

[Aunt Clair]

My biggest hindrance is bullying, skepticism and rejection.

I continue to work and publish online but I remain constrained by the persecution that still exists.

[RoseRed]

My biggest hindrance was not being fully myself.

There were many realistic and practical reasons for this but it was still a betrayal of self. At the time, I knew it was a long term temporary thing. Now that life circumstances have changed I've only begun to realize just how much of myself was being repressed.

[lupenthewolf]

My biggest occult hiderence, I would have to say, is my laziness. It seems like it always comes down to "I don't feel like it." I'm working on it, but I'm not there yet [smile]