loop noobz

[astrolabgoz9881]

I'm not sure if this belongs here,
but I got used to this pit coz I'm a personality of immense laziness and a dirty mind. I also like roasting on the bottom of a pit. [rofl]
I have a loop question looping in my mind,
it says: I am lusting for a more lust, then should I invoke Apollo or banish Eros and block him forever as a bogger that inflates minds with sexual content.
What is a reason of the reason? How to stay unchanged in the balance?

[Desecrated]

Watch more porn?

[Ramscha]

Watch more porn?

Either that or get laid

[astrolabgoz9881]

When I was lil, I entered the life thru the world of magic. Yes, on Balkans where I'm born, the folk wisdom is on the wane, but in my time I was slightly priviledged for being a member of a family that is among folk craft peepz, in it's way of being priviledged. They soon found out I bear untold power with me and sometimes seen me as a danger. They successfuly made me non harmful for the environment, gave me a good childrens education... but when I was so lil yet they were certain I won't stay a good boy doing what's expected of him (just as any community more or less primitive looking for good children) when I checked all the atheist arguments and found it valid. Soon I also turned into a bit of a bandit kid, and yes I loved pornography, just as there was no laws in Yugoslavian states against selling porn mags to children. And movies. Porn in general. I spent time from my 12 to 18 until I got cable watching a porn movie a night and smoking cigarettes and went to sleep at 4 or 5 AM, at free time, but when I got a good cable tv in 2003 I was watching 4 porn channels all free time long, mainly Platinum X and (how bizarre story apologize me) it was still allowed to minors (well most parents would allow their children from eg. 15 but kids are rotten since 7). And if you are from Eastern Europe, there is Greek culture and you have an awesome connection to Greek pantheon, so blame Ares that savage for most things now And I had an awesome connection and blessings of Eros and Hymeros, perhaps Envidia but she is Roman, perhaps Nemesis then... and many other noteys. You don't see peepz like on Balkans every day that's how you know they are Greek culture and Greek gods and if anyone else tells you there is something else but Greek, Slav or Serb or Great Russian, he is making up, Greeks and others continued it. But I was practicing christian asceticism and I did favorize a lot of Western Esotericism tho din't like idea of magic for a few years, I was looking for an order in the Universe, but... I failed the purpose of my practice (but won't speak about it how and when) and for two weeks so far whil my life is getting much better than since my failure and I finally broke the damn negative patterns I was plagued with, for years, and I think of my life seeing Greek gods in it since always (they are also a Universal thingie, I agree) and I see I offended gods....... Well I invoked Eros, after all the time he was knowing purpose better than me ever... Def don't want to banish him. But I don't watch much porn any more. Time takes it.