More on my 'personal haunting'

[Cybernetic_Jazz]

Following up with what happened a couple Thursday nights ago:

Really that Wednesday night I had a particularly delicious dream about certain sexual currents being run through my life and a particularly attractive and edgy female persona being behind the wave of assistance - essentially opening up perhaps my Netzach circuits (my Netzach and Geburah seemed like they were practically shorted from birth - aspects of my Geburah even more than my Netzach).

That Thursday night (10/15) was when I mentioned feeling something kind of creepy around me, feeling like it was really latched deep in my nervous system, how I burned a sage citrus candle, did pentagrams, various prayers, finally I brought up one of a series of archangelic seals on my computer - this time it was for the archangel Gabriel (in motion with the colors of the four planes). I brought up his seal because I remember hearing that he had a hand in regulating inner-planes commerce between beings and keeping things in order. That was on for a short amount of time before my computer crashed and wouldn't start up again. I was getting system beeps and didn't find out until the next day that my video card (that I've had for four years) fried on the spot.

In the last few weeks with my BOTA work I was meditating on The Lovers; working on getting the three way communication between my self, my subconscious, my HGA, and getting things to flow the way they should. I just started this week on my tarot meditation of The Chariot and this is much more specifically one where I deal more directly with my HGA. I also had the chance to read - cover to cover - Israel Regardie's One Year Manual just as a precursor to actually understand the roadmap before I dive in. I kept thinking about the particular issues I've had in my life - ie. jobs blowing up, tarot readings constantly indicating that my Higher Will demands that I fail at or at least end up without work for a stretch of time shows up a lot (i could lend some of the celtic cross results if someone wants to look at them closer), and still feeling in certain ways out of touch I decided last night to make a very deliberate dream signal.

Some time last week I got a Youtube recommendation for Wayne Dyer on the importance of what you do five minutes before you go to sleep in programming your next day and events to follow. It seemed easy and straight-forward so I've been employing that for the past week or so on and off when I had a concern or intention to throw in. Last night I finally made a very clear move - really saying what I'd already say to my HGA during the day but more emphatically around the time I went to sleep. I kept the mentation that I wanted to know it's Will, live by it's Will, saw that we had discrepancies to work through, that I needed road map or to at least be able to see my life somewhat through it's eyes in order to do better at living in line with what it wanted.

So then came dream-time. I may have had several dreams, a few that drifted in and out in the earlier part of the night, but the one that woke me up I remember clearly.

I was in a classroom that looked like an old Jr. High that I used to attend. It was really an after hours or weekend class where it was a mix, mostly of adults and professionals, and I can't remember what the topic of the class or seminar was - it didn't seem like it mattered. What happened was that we had our lunch break, all my other classmates went to a small lunch room that was downstairs with their food trays, and they either had to eat without anything to drink or simply what was available wasn't what I was craving. Consequently I brought my tray down with them and told them I was going to grab something and I'd be back in a few. There was a smaller lunch room was open upstairs and the thing they had there that I seemed to be looking for was a craft soda, it was a bottle of draft cola in a cooler. The only other person going through that area and talking to the lunch lady was a younger girl, either late teens or early 20's, who was real chatty, came off as a social butterfly, and I was kind of waiting for her to move on so I could check my drink out when she turned around and said something to the effect of "Don't worry it's on me". At that point I actually didn't go back downstairs but rather talked to her for a while, vaguely remember her saying something about me seeming like I was in a crabby mood in class, that it came off that I got a bit too serious, and I made perhaps reactionary joke about my blood-sugar or being hypoglycemic (some truth - mostly the kind of BS I'd probably tell someone to get out of that kind of observation).

The dream ended with me, her, and three other ladies (two who were her age, one who was in her 40's) in an SUV and they were giving me a lift back home - if I remember right the girl I was talking to was driving. We got to my house (not really my house but a different residence in my dream), I still had that unopened soda in my hand, we past the house and as soon as we did the inside of the vehicle changed and it was my dad driving. We'd passed the house, turned back around the culdesac at the end, and came back up to it (in the dream it was my dad's first time seeing my new place). The dream then progressed further to the house I had (suburban development 2-floor and basement with an open walkway plan upstairs) being very haunted in the upstairs portion where people would not only see and feel strange things but would sometimes even go up the stairs and come back down them with no memory of what came between.

When I woke up I instantly felt the same thrill that I felt go through me two Thursday night's ago when I'd visually catch a glimmer of the energy that was around me - that at least lent supernal/supernatural validation.


That's where I now wonder if I might have seriously itched things up a couple weeks ago. Do you think that your own Self would perhaps capitulate incrementally if it saw that it was being misunderstood as an astral parasite? Also is it possible that I'm still dealing with something a lot more complex that's perhaps an amalgam between HGA and something else sort of dueling for influence?

In a lot of my transcendental moments of communication I've seen not one particular girl with brown hair - rather similar girls who I've either seen or perhaps constructed in a dream, their appearance and mannerisms used symbolically in analogy, who were along increasingly similar lines of appearance. If I consider this to be my HGA I might have a bit of insight into something here just on how the dream ended - the car full that I road back with were in very playful and high spirits, the lady who was in her 40's who was riding shotgun even turned around and gave me a few lottery tickets, and when my dad took over driving it was a bit like I was funamentally back in my own plane of thinking with my own concerns. Heck if I think of it the girl I was talking to and who drove me home if my dad would have met her IRL he wouldn't have likely thought much positive of her. It seems like there was a brief moment of comparison between Bornless wisdom which may not look like worldly maturity in the way we think of it as earnestness and what not and then you have worldly maturity which is in a lot of ways really the mud of one particular incarnation, usually held by a person - at least in the west - who either believes that they only have one life (thus fully identified with this one) or who may believe that they started to exist at birth and will cease to exist at death.


Very interesting situation to have crop up. I'm really not sure how I should proceed with this one other than perhaps seeing if I can petition my Self again for another meeting tonight, for the next few night, and see if I get a similar result. I'll probably keep the cloves of garlic that are on my nightstand there just because the spiritual activity I had Thursday and Friday two weeks ago seemed indifferent to anything that I didn't directly smudge myself with and I think it'll help rule out parasites/invaders which I get a funny feeling like to try and piggyback on higher contact in hopes that you'll confuse them as part of it and let them in.

Still seems clear as mud but the more I think about the significance of being peeled away from the class I was in, being off alone with her (or Her perhaps), and saving that draft cola as if I were bringing it back down the planes with me for my waking life - there's something to that symbolism and I'll want to see how that plays out.

[cyberdemon]

Following for updates! This sounds promising.