Psychosis Schizoprhenia or maybe an experience ?

[Tetraten]

Hey Ive posted this in another forum aswell but its quite empty there then i finnally found this one again i remember following some book tips from here befor So well As my first Post this is also an Introduction [gz] So Id say Im not well practiced in this area of expertise but my mind as always been intrested in the unknown ,, what lead me to psycadelics that evantually led me to my Psychosis and Schizoprenia(?)

Well I've experienced psychosis induced by substances 3 times in the last 4 years
at the first it was by a kakty extract (kanna) and other 2 times from weed ..
My mind at these times was already very gentle due to use of LSD

I have been smoking weed most of my life but never experienced such state of nirvana or trance like these 3 times ..
It was like i am in a LSD trip Just way stronger and much more confusing
I have been reading Liber null recently and i red there that during Evocation one can be possesed by entities and "may be recipient of insparations , abilities and knowledge not normally accesible to him . "

Ive talked about this many times that during my psychosis i had strange memories deeper knowledge and understanding of things insparations to do stuff in strange ways not usually thinket of..


The first time I thought I'm being led to information by an entity in the screens ( TV , computer ect) I learned about how corrupt this world is how badly designed it is and how bassicly everything is upsidedown and were living in a world of lies ..

The experience was being in my apartment without working for 3 month's smoking hasish all day
then dosing some Kanna Extract i spent many hours a day "Meditating" with my guitar
Just doing repetetive kind of drumming that i found strangley sounding good
then going to the computer reading up on very strange things every page just led me to another and then id go back to the guitar
id stop playing
my mind would race id start laughing hystericlly" from random toughts
then id play the guitar again
and that ended up with me being hospitalized in a mental instetute for a while

The second experience happened after I got released from mental hospital a while after that I flew to India ...

I ended up in Om beach and I found a perfect chilling place up a hill in the ocean

I sat there many days at nights and then it started again .. I saw an entity sitting in front of me not a full pysichal image but particles of light that combined to an image ...

I forgat to mention that since i remember myself I always see particles of lights in colors all over the field of view
and after my third psychosis i started seeing a glowing purple ball of light in the middle of view when i focus


So I saw that entity and I fought it was communicating with me trough my music .. I was listening to a lot of metal and you know how metal always sounds like story's about things ... I fought this entity is trying to use me to end the world ...

I had many hallucinations during my time up the hill .. I would go down from there in a completely different state from going up ..

My mornings were completely normal but when I'd go up the hill drink a beer play music and start the evening things would go strange

I'd look at my fingers and there would be 20 instead of 5 , or I'd look at the skies and I'd feel were travelling trough space the whole earth the stars would move at speeds in imagined

I'd end up going down to the beach and not being able to sleep until the sun comes back I'd thought I might lost it ..

psychosis they call this ... and this is part of schizoprhenia

i felt pretty good druing my psychosis i was a bit messy and uncaring dident eat much and socialize but it was a mystical experience
good and bad
good mostly

Do you think an entity is fund of my Hugh imagination and likes to decive me for fun

Actually any thoughts are welcome
And well this is also my introduction I geuss I hope to hear some toughts or maybe good book tips to read up on similar expriences
thanks for reading
[pray]

[Desecrated]

http://www.occultforum.org/forum/viewto ... 6&p=515656&

[chowderpope]

This is something I wonder about myself fairly often. At this point, I'm not convinced psychosis is a purely mental phenomenon, or that it isn't indirectly affected by intelligent beings on "the other side."

At the same time, it's difficult to prove something like that.

As mentioned in the thread Desecrated linked to, you should stop getting high all the time. Secondly, send me some of that money. No work for 3 months and you flew to India and smoked hash constantly? Somebody hit the jackpot.

But as we know, not all that glitters is gold, and your fortune led you to see 20 fingers when there were only 5.

So sobering up should be a priority, I would say. THC can induce psychosis in particular individuals and you should stop smoking it unless you want to continue losing touch.

I would do my best to avoid communicating with anything on "the other side" because if it is something intelligent manipulating you due to your sensitivity caused by drug use, you would only deepen the connection with it by humoring it with communication.

That's my two cents. Seems to be a common question around here by people who hear/see things.

[inMalkuth]

It takes a lot to go from drugs [yay]
to discipline [pray]
and the [devil]
likes the [clown]
but if you REALLY want to understand a world of deception and want to DO something about it, then clean up your act, start reading some practical works of literature, and think a lot about the Law of Thelema. You might go from [shock2] to [cool2]