In need of insight

[Shadow]

Hi every one Im going to be up front and honest upfront im not a magician but a person who has naturaly have paranormal experiences in my life the best way i can explain it im very informed about the goetia and few other beginning magicain tools but, i do not practice myself in fear of causing problems in real life situations by having a bad invocation.

Now that done with that I must start that I have allways had a interest in the dark arts since I was in middel school im 23 now by the way. It all started when I was playing out side and this old hatien woman, who us neighborhood kids joked about her doing voodoo, called me to her porch to help with some heavy grocery bags. So I did and as walking to leave and as she handed me money that did not ask for she grabed my wrist and closed her eyes and then smiled and said, your aura is dark thick and is absent of light like a shadow but yet golden and bright on the inside
My only response was uhhhhh huh whats a aura as i put the 20$ I earned in my pocket. So only said in the right time I know the answer to my question.

Now fast forward im about 15-16 years old, badass street thug kid selling drugs and other negative activities. I began smoking pot heavy and was doing cough syrup aka codien as well. Now durring the times of being stoned I felt a strong spiritual energy inside of I was able to do things while high off weed that I could never do while not high,it almost felt as the marijuana was opening doors to my spiritual self that I never have had felt or thought of. So durring a summer of being stoned and bored with a laptop I began look up and read upon all things aura and spiritual related. among my searches i found about the goetia and demonolgy and since I had no one to contact to help me understand myself spirtualy I could only read and attempt differnt ways to achieve answers and along the long way I believe I have open door to certian entities in my life that have not been closed to this day!


With that being said here comes the meat and potatoes of my post on this forum . the realisation of the entites in my life began with a book of all things.

It was in the middle of the summer and my mother had left on a work related trip ,and i was staying at a friends mind you I grew up in a single mother home with my older doing home and moved to other states so therefore me and my mother only and only the ones that have keys to our home. So I come a day early before my mom dose to enjoy the house to my self smoke weed watch and play on my laptop. So once i steped inside I found a book I recognised that was put away in a plastic bin in the basement that was now on the floor underneath the dining room table. So my first reaction being that we live in the ghetto was to check for a sign of a break in but of course all the valuable were still there and there was no sign of a break in or a break in in the basement. I was left to investigate the upside down book under my dining the room table. The book was called steps to jesus christ and it was a book from my older sisters church youth group. So as turned the book over the book contained an illustrated picture of jesuses on the cross with people surrounding him but perfectly dead centered on were Jesuses face was on the book cover was burned of off in a jagged circle and as I opened the book to the last page that wasnt burnt were Jesus face use to be it read perfectly centered in the circle ,his evil will ride again. My mind started racing not in fear but in astonishment I had gotten what seem to be a reaction to my experiments with spirits to work! I also must mention that I was sober durring the whole time of this occurenc so those will not say that I was just stoned out of minds in the replys. So being the negative living person I was at the time I decided to break down my pot on the burnt book cover side and said out loud I don't know who you are what you are but this did not offend or cause fear in me now i know you exsist I cannot fear you so therefore I want to work with you, and proceeded to roll my weed.

Now this book became a thing to talk about to freinds, I have since lost it due to my mother finding it and throwing it away. Outside of the book incident has multiple incidents of pictures of my little brother falling or and his baby pictures book flying out of a wisker basket that was flat on the ground and opening up to a pic of him and haven't had any incidents since we moved out of that house when I was 17. I will say I have had voice in my mind that is very fatherl like that has directed me out of bad situations but in recent years it has been gone and absent and I have faced bad situations I usually avoid, yes I have also changed my negative was when I turned 18 I still use pot but not as heavy I have had mental tests as well to and have been proven to be non mentally ill.

The point I'm getting to with all this information that I have shared what do you other magicians make of this did I play cards with a goetia entity ?and not close the door between out worlds ?but yet it found to respect me for not fearing it? And a offer was put on the table for my little brother soul but since I was ignornt to see that and it took pitty on me and gave guidance out of bad situations?
Or is it still with me? Or is it just a familiar that was given to me and has since given up on me for lack of not giving it attention? These are all theories I have compiled but I need to consult you magicians who know what your doing because these unanswered questions have bothered me to this day and the lack of incidents with said possible entity has decreased to a point of non exsistant.

[chowderpope]

I'm having a little trouble with your well-organized thoughts but rampant misspellings and grammar issues. The two don't make sense together and you come off as someone who is pretending to be bad at spelling and grammar in order to inconspicuously pitch an over-the-top story.

Are you sure you're not that racist idiot I was emailing recently about the other fake post? If so, dude, you have way too much time on your hands. Get a hobby that doesn't involve trying to pass corny stories as real.

[Shadow]

https://www.google.com/search?client=ms ... T3FPbEaJrM:

[Shadow]

Every thing I said is true I want real answers this is not a over the top story. I will say this forum seems to be glitchy when used via phone. above is a link to a picture of the book i found underneath my table just not the burnt one since my mother threw it away, and it seems my auto correct fucks up words I type it really pisses me off....

On the other hand to sum up what I was explaining in my post, as a preteen I came across a woman who practiced vodoo, who gave me a aura reading and spike my interest in the dark arts.

As a teen I experimented with occult magic after gaining a new curiosity for black magic from marijuana use. I had no results.... i gave up.... a month later I came home to a religous book that was orignaly put away in basment storage. Only to find it undenath the dineing room tabel burnt perfectly on jesus face wich is on the cover of the book, and it read in the center of where it was burnt ,his evil will rise again. I found the book while being sober comming home from a freinds house with only me and mother having a key to our home, and she was out of state for work reasons at the time, plus there was no sign of a break in because of our belongings not being stolen and the doors locks not tampered with.... nor was my older siblings around because they lived out of state thier selfs,is they did not have keys to out home....

After that incident I experienced pictures of my little brother falling off the wall and his baby photo book popping out of a basket that was flat on the ground That opened up to photos of him.

Every time an occurence would happen I made shure the entity that caused this was not feared by me and I was willing to live and work with it. I never gave it my soul or no offering at all, but in turn after announcing I knew of its existence. I would hear a voice in my head that didnt sound like my own. The voice lead me out of bad situations untill I was 18.where it no longer spoke to me on a night i got shot three times in a drive by shooting while in a freinds car.....

That event made me change my ways.... I used to be involved in a lot of street crime and drug selling prior to that night. Since then I no longer have herd the voice of guidance or experiences of things , and objects being moved affected with out a phisical presence.

Please understand I want true insight on my experience and that just because I grew up in the ghetto dosnt mean I cannot be curious about occult magic, this world is a melting pot and the internet provides any kind of information to those of any kind of background.im also for from racists as I am Mexican man with a African American wife and two mixed children. If you or any magicians want to give me true insight on my experiences and things i can to do act on them please help as these past experiences haunt my dreams and daily life.

This is not trolling ,this is not for entertainment I want real true answers as this will be my one and only post on this forum site. So please help or leave space for some one who is willing to help that's all I want.....

Thanks,

Shadow

[chowderpope]

Reiterating your fake story and posting a link to a book doesn't help your case. Go crawl back to 4chan before me and my hillbilly cousins hex you just for the fuck of it.

[Shadow]

I appologise I don't use 4chan or other forums at all personally i will leave this forum alone I am sorry for bothering you. I truly belive you have me mixed up with Someone else though I don't know who you are of have ever spoken to you before, but I'm a respectful being and will leave when unwelcomed.

[chowderpope]

Ok man, I'll leave room for others to comment on your story and I promise I won't hex you, unless it comes out that this is fake, which I'm like 90% sure it is. In that case you will be hexed by my hillbilly cousins from Appalachia. They do good work.

[cactusjack543]

sorry have a learning in english cant read to much to much glue when i was 10.. my travels in life led me deep in space kk 1,000 deep in matrix had success later nothing matrix dropped by in town he is as timid as a bunny and is very lively nothing god year or two later huge stayes at west wood lake gov one day mabby as a reward braught nothing star the quietest of them all not a word spoken in 5 years i reach he sais im reaching to the black holes in the a definite solid but weak connection....

had war in deep space for months i faught alien high master shadows then see them in everyone when i focus usually is a eye shocker to them.. these are the shadows sit back patiently and probabbly run the picture show on every planet does make sence to me in so many ways they are truly my favorite of darkness..

in so short of words why the shadow name.... . ..-

[Shadow]

It was a name given to me from freinds due to the fact my presence when around other people was silent like a shadow, but if they looked away from the light I was standing right next them the whole time and scare the shit out of them because they couldn't even tell I was standing there. I also had a aura reading done before and was told my arura was absent of light like a shadow. So I just stuck with the name.

[Shadow]

But I do live this motto that I made up my self, live in pain die with pleasure, live in pleasure die with pain

[cactusjack543]

my motto is sorta lived the game for years and darkness shined its brightest colors every day for years so i must enjoy living in darkness....

[Shadow]

Interesting view point of life and to the previous poster before thanks man I appreciate it

[Shadow]

I do believe that us humans designed to be self destructive by nature as well otherwise we would have learned so many lessons of what no to do...

[cactusjack543]

it seems my travel isnt of the land i usually go in the direction of rightiouness lolol he wisssshes to be my force how sweet....