A story, a lesson & a warning

[Etar]

I'm about to share something that happened to me. It's a story, because I'll tell what happened; a lesson, because of what I learned from it; and a warning, for I hope it can be helpful information for beginners. Still, I think it will be an interesting read for the more experienced practitioner. I claim in good faith that everything I will describe below is true.

All started a few years ago, when I was in the final year of what, in ***, roughly corresponds to primary/elementary school. I had been an atheist since age ** at that point, and I didn't believe in anything astral or spiritual. However, since age **, I started having doubts about my doubts. It's funny. Though the skeptical arguments were quite good and I learned pretty much every single one of them, I couldn't help feeling something was missing. Almost a year after my new doubts started, I stumbled across magick-related content on the internet, and inevitably, became interested. However, and unfortunately, that content wasn't about the Great Work, Hermeticism, or any of that. It was about Enochian. Just imagine how thrilled I was, having no prior knowledge of magical traditions, encountering all that information that, supposedly, would grant great powers. I always had kind of a god complex even in my atheist years. Good results would not follow of this, of course. I began experimenting with Enochian, studied a little bit about magick in general, and ignored every warning about Enochian being dangerous for the unexperienced. To be honest, I didn't quite ignore it. But I was so full of myself, so confident that I could do it, that I simply decided that I was powerful enough and nothing bad could happen.

Aged **, I began doing simple rituals, without any knowledge of proper evocation. I used the Enochian angels or spirits to try to, among other things, obtain psychic powers and heal others and myself. Interestingly, when I was almost **, I did a quick ritual to try to heal a painful burn of mine. Unfortunatelly, or fortunatelly, it kind of worked. In minutes, the pain began to decrease rapidly. And after I woke up, the burn vanished. Also, that same month, a pet dog I had died. It was devastating to me. In fact, it was the first real loss I ever had. *** Of course, a few distant relatives had died during these years, but I never felt the loss. With that dog, I felt. I wonder if this was caused by residual energies from my foolish workings. Anyway, I also remember trying to heal one of my best friends from a terrible infection that would make him unable to attend graduation. I did the standard ritual, and in a few days, he was just fine. Another experience in that time was that I had a rough vision, while preparing to sleep, of who I believe to be BATAIVAH. The figure, from what I was able to see, inspired severity and wisdom. Well, I think that's enough examples. Now, on to the really important things.

It's immaterial whether these results were real or not, as I will explain now. Shortly after all of this, I started the equivalent to ****. At first it was okay, but soon I began to grow tired of it. I could never get enough sleep, and when I did, I still felt incredibly tired. Also, I developed kind of an obsessive behavior. I imagined that my problems would magically disappear just because I wanted them to. The best way to put this, is that I was as closer to being crasy as one can be without actually being crazy. At the same time, my father lost his job. Everything was a mess, everyone around me was unhappy. This lasted for months, roughly *** to ***. So I decided that I couldn't take it anymore. I told my mother that I would drop***. At first it worked, but after a few days I had an emotional breakdown. Never in my life had I felt such a mess. I was forced to deal with psychological problems that I never imagined I would have to. Everything just fell above me. It was up to me. Around this time, I began to realize that the Enochian workings were probably connected to all that. I made a simple deal with my mother that would make us both happy. I'd restart High School next year. So that was it, now I had months of free time. I began reading about magick, this time humble like never before. I studied the foundations, how things worked, several systems etc. I began practicing the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram many times for a few months. With that, the energies that were causing the trouble faded away.

Among the many warnings about Enochian, and dangerous practices in general, one stands out. You will either get no results, or you will, but since you don't have any experience or clairvoyance, there will be energies and maybe even entities around you won't notice until they start messing with your physical reality. And that's the real danger. I witnessed that first-hand. I don't really blame the Enochian spirits, or think that they are really dangerous in themselves. In fact, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't know about real magick and the true ways, those of humbleness, kindness, love, Will and, of course, Spirit. So I don't regret it. But on the other hand, I don't want anyone to experience what I experienced. You know, I really made things short here. I could have gone on and on. It was really bad at the time. But that's how we learn. It's been a long time...

That's all. I hope anyone in similar situation reading this will stop and think about what they're doing. I never shared this entire story with anyone. Those around me know pieces of it, but they don't know how these things are connected. So I wrote it here. Now, after so much time, I have come into terms with my physical reality, I am happier than ever before, and I have goals, both mundane and spiritual.

If anyone has read all of this, I both thank you and hope you liked it. Feel free to make any comments or questions.

[ΙΟΛΗ7]

i've read your story very carefully...i'm glad that you shared your experience cause this is a big lesson for everyone.Especially for the ones who take their first steps in witchcraft.
But please let me say something here.Danger has nothing to do with Enochian or white witchcraft or wicca.Imagine that you hold a stone in your hand.There are many ways that this stone can be usefull to you.But let's examine just two ways that will give you my conclusion.So we have a stone in our hands .. we can either use it for treatment,by writing over the details of a patient and then bury it in the ground.OR we can also throw it on someone and wound him seriously on the head.
So you see....there's no reason to blame the tool. What matters is the way we use it.Let this be a lesson for everyone.Thank you.

[Etar]

i've read your story very carefully...i'm glad that you shared your experience cause this is a big lesson for everyone.Especially for the ones who take their first steps in witchcraft.
But please let me say something here.Danger has nothing to do with Enochian or white witchcraft or wicca.Imagine that you hold a stone in your hand.There are many ways that this stone can be usefull to you.But let's examine just two ways that will give you my conclusion.So we have a stone in our hands .. we can either use it for treatment,by writing over the details of a patient and then bury it in the ground.OR we can also throw it on someone and wound him seriously on the head.
So you see....there's no reason to blame the tool. What matters is the way we use it.Let this be a lesson for everyone.Thank you.

Perfect observation. I should probably have made that more clear on the first post. I'm in no way saying that any magick is dangerous. It's more accurate to say that we have the potential to be dangerous (to ourselves and to others). In fact, I intend to go back to Enochian eventually, in a decade or so.

Thank you!

[ΙΟΛΗ7]

You are welcome...and if i may ask.What kind of witchcraft do you use at this point?

[Etar]

I'm open to everything, but I have a mostly Hermeticist approach at this moment. Currently, my only practices are the LBRP, meditation and lucid dreaming.

[ΙΟΛΗ7]

Wonderful !! Meditation will help you a lot.You will reach another side of yours,that you never thought it even existed.You most certainly will be able to open your mind to the sounds of the universe and of course your instinct will raise.Keep up the good work !! [happyface]

[Etar]

Yes, it's an amazing experience, and an essential one, I'd say. It helps one be truly conscious of him or herself, which is necessary for many magical practices.

[Etar]

I have news related to this that I'd like to share.

I don't remember the exact year, but it was around the time described on the story. Anyway, my friend's cousin was involved in a car crash and went comatose. She likely had some brain damage. At the time, I gave advice to my friend about how he could try to help healing her. Of course, I gave him the information that I believed in at the time. I also tried help on my own, not with any rituals, but simple mental working. After a couple of months, she started to show reactions to stimulus. We both continued with the workings for a short time. She had a long recovery time ahead and, as time went on, I began to forget about all this.

However, a few moments ago, my friend told me that his cousin is now almost able to walk! I find it funny, in a way, how everytime I used Enochian, albeit with no experience, to heal somebody, it "worked". I don't know exactly what to take from this. But I am very happy that someone I tried to help turned out okay.

[Stukov]

I have news related to this that I'd like to share.

I don't remember the exact year, but it was around the time described on the story. Anyway, my friend's cousin was involved in a car crash and went comatose. She likely had some brain damage. At the time, I gave advice to my friend about how he could try to help healing her. Of course, I gave him the information that I believed in at the time. I also tried help on my own, not with any rituals, but simple mental working. After a couple of months, she started to show reactions to stimulus. We both continued with the workings for a short time. She had a long recovery time ahead and, as time went on, I began to forget about all this.

However, a few moments ago, my friend told me that his cousin is now almost able to walk! I find it funny, in a way, how everytime I used Enochian, albeit with no experience, to heal somebody, it "worked". I don't know exactly what to take from this. But I am very happy that someone I tried to help turned out okay.

It's examples like this (not saying it didn't work or isnt true) that makes "magick" such a difficult topic to scientifically study as there is no control or null group. You can't know when someone gets better because of magick or because they got better because they were always going to get better.

[ΙΟΛΗ7]

I'm happy for you Etar.Great job there.Let me tell you,that after a research that occured somewhere in America,scientists managed to proove that team prayer and meditation actually help and heal. [thumbup]

[Etar]

I have news related to this that I'd like to share.

I don't remember the exact year, but it was around the time described on the story. Anyway, my friend's cousin was involved in a car crash and went comatose. She likely had some brain damage. At the time, I gave advice to my friend about how he could try to help healing her. Of course, I gave him the information that I believed in at the time. I also tried help on my own, not with any rituals, but simple mental working. After a couple of months, she started to show reactions to stimulus. We both continued with the workings for a short time. She had a long recovery time ahead and, as time went on, I began to forget about all this.

However, a few moments ago, my friend told me that his cousin is now almost able to walk! I find it funny, in a way, how everytime I used Enochian, albeit with no experience, to heal somebody, it "worked". I don't know exactly what to take from this. But I am very happy that someone I tried to help turned out okay.

It's examples like this (not saying it didn't work or isnt true) that makes "magick" such a difficult topic to scientifically study as there is no control or null group. You can't know when someone gets better because of magick or because they got better because they were always going to get better.

I'm happy for you Etar.Great job there.Let me tell you,that after a research that occured somewhere in America,scientists managed to proove that team prayer and meditation actually help and heal. [thumbup]

Exactly. I intend to create one or more topics about these subjects on the future.

[Q789]

Etar, what a fantastic story. I like your attitude. I also like your analysis that if you don't have to clairvoyant skills to manifest something it will manifest in your life- in an ugly manner.

Can i explain. A simple study of the Kabala( i know you are capable) will demonstrate that there is an 'Abyss'. This strange universal phenomenon is there for a reason. To protect underdeveloped souls. I refer to Liber AL (Her feet not touching the little flowers). WHY? Cause they are so bleedin dangerous. In order to deal with these energies you must be Adept- actually Priest.
Do you remember what the Buddhist said "when the light is turned on- shadows will be cast'. Well in order to properly deal with the mind of god- you must first unite yourself with God.
Enochian goes straight to the heart, the Tunnels of Set. I think you have found out the hard way.

These energies are not to be used for 'Spells'- they are to complete the great work, to aid you in your will, and a few other things. But NEVER for such mundane issues as cursing or healing. If you wish to heal(and you should do this)- go do some Reiki, join a hands on healing class. That will develop your clairvoyant skills very well.

The aim of all magick, in fact all life, is to achieve illumination( or whatever your may call it). Once the light is on, you can cross the Abyss and explore the shadows- but until then?

I personally stay away from low magick all together. I except the events in my life as learning curves- as acts of god, I change myself- not my surroundings. nonetheless- go for healing.
The LBR is en excellent way of starting, it prepares you for the Great work, illumination and gives you the tools for dealing the the energies for the Abyss.

Q

[Etar]

Etar, what a fantastic story. I like your attitude. I also like your analysis that if you don't have to clairvoyant skills to manifest something it will manifest in your life- in an ugly manner.

Can i explain. A simple study of the Kabala( i know you are capable) will demonstrate that there is an 'Abyss'. This strange universal phenomenon is there for a reason. To protect underdeveloped souls. I refer to Liber AL (Her feet not touching the little flowers). WHY? Cause they are so bleedin dangerous. In order to deal with these energies you must be Adept- actually Priest.
Do you remember what the Buddhist said "when the light is turned on- shadows will be cast'. Well in order to properly deal with the mind of god- you must first unite yourself with God.
Enochian goes straight to the heart, the Tunnels of Set. I think you have found out the hard way.

These energies are not to be used for 'Spells'- they are to complete the great work, to aid you in your will, and a few other things. But NEVER for such mundane issues as cursing or healing. If you wish to heal(and you should do this)- go do some Reiki, join a hands on healing class. That will develop your clairvoyant skills very well.

The aim of all magick, in fact all life, is to achieve illumination( or whatever your may call it). Once the light is on, you can cross the Abyss and explore the shadows- but until then?

I personally stay away from low magick all together. I except the events in my life as learning curves- as acts of god, I change myself- not my surroundings. nonetheless- go for healing.
The LBR is en excellent way of starting, it prepares you for the Great work, illumination and gives you the tools for dealing the the energies for the Abyss.

Q

Thank you for your comment. Very correct.

As for Enochian not being able to be used for mundane workings, I know some would disagree. I have some doubts about this myself after what I experienced, but I don't intend to use these energies in such a fashion again. By the time I start working with Enochian properly, I'll probably know better.

I don't wish to particularly work with healing, but I do feel I might have some kind of gift regarding this. Time will tell.

Once again, thanks.

[Evander]

Amorte Etar,

I actually took my time to read your post.

From what I can see, you suffered from a typical arrogant, overconfident approach to magic that is so common among young beginners.
And you found the worst of possible types of magic to deal with. With no knowledge of astral realm and it's dangers you jump into it.
Fortunately, magic has it's fail-safe. Astral realm is full of danger: hallucinogenic currents, wild thoughtforms, energetic parasites...all waiting to eat the unwary.

It seems you have received a lesson of humility. Now, let's try to figure out what happened.

After reading your story there are two possibilities and both are linked to energy drain:

At first it was okay, but soon I began to grow tired of it. I could never get enough sleep, and when I did, I still felt incredibly tired.

Either you got some sort of parasite to drain you, or you encountered an energetic vampire. Third possibility is that extensive mental stress depleted minerals in your body (magnesium, calcium).

If the third case is true, I recommend diet supplement when you will be back in your school. If the first or the second is true, you should search for some defensive measures.

Whatever you choose, I recommend retaining your sceptical attitude.
In the universe where nearly 100% of it's volume is deadly to humans, believing in higher being that created this universe to be a benevolent being may blind you for an inconvenient truth of our reality.

[Avelin]

I thought the enochian had to do with Angels. How are angels dangerous?

After reading your story there are two possibilities and both are linked to energy drain:

At first it was okay, but soon I began to grow tired of it. I could never get enough sleep, and when I did, I still felt incredibly tired.

Either you got some sort of parasite to drain you, or you encountered an energetic vampire. Third possibility is that extensive mental stress depleted minerals in your body (magnesium, calcium).

Or it could just be highschool. Highschool is a pretty stressful place and then with those hormones raging all the time. It could of also been anemia or even some intestinal problems. I don't think automatically blaming magick is a good idea as its clear that you really don't know and therefore there really no clear connections between the two events.

[Etar]

Why would they not be dangerous just because they're angels? Many good things can be misused.

And no, I don't think it was high school, because next year I was 100% me, positive and energic. Anyway, it wasn't "magick", it was me.

[Avelin]

I didn't really mean magick was to blame but your use of magick, particulary enochian magick, in order to heal people. Do you think it was karmic backlash or God punishing you?

[Etar]

If by karma you mean Law of Reaction, then I'm pretty sure it was that. The Enochian forces are too much for a proto-initiate to handle.

[Etar]

You know, looking back now, I have a slightly better view of the situation.

It's possible the Enochian forces actually pushed me towards the Great Work, instead of causing damage. As in, part of the learning process. And I can't help but feel the "emotional breakdown" I had (as mentioned on the first post) was a glimpse of the HGA. I mean, the decisions I made since then were all correct, in a manner of speaking, creating a chain of events that led me to the very comfortable position I find myself in now.

[akimbomoss]

That's good news!

It's like Jacob and the angel. You struggle with the angel and it kicks your ass. But afterwards you seem to have powers. Only for you it happened in reverse.

I think that's why the church eliminated so many angels from the bible. They didn't want people to get too enlightened.