Off the track

[FreeSpirit]

Hi everyone [smile]

I'm writing this in hope that someone might be able to help me with their opinion or perhaps personal experience..
I've developed interest in ceremonial magick when I was 19, practiced it on regular basis for about 5 years then on and off for next 5 years until it became a rather rare event. I was mainly focused on my own spiritual growth, with occasional ritual to help me with more mundane things...
All in all it influenced me in a very positive way, I became more patient with people, focused, at peace and so on.
Problems emerged after I kinda went off the track because of my personal issues,I stopped practicing it for some time and later found out that I had a lot of problems coming back to it. When I finally did, it didn't feel right. It didn't have that magical "feeling" like before, almost as it didn't work at all for me anymore, It felt like being in a relationship that is long overdue and you're just doing things out of habit. Could it be that there is a truth in a saying that if you close that (magickal) door once (by disrespect,laziness...) it's impossible to come back? Yes I know it sounds silly but I really have that impression now.

I know I didn't give out much details but I'm willing to answer any question if anyone bothers to read this and maybe helps out with his/her experience [bummed] Thank you in advance.

[Etar]

If you believe you can't come back you'll be correct. If not, you'll be correct too. [thumbup]

[entropic]

Hi everyone [smile]

Could it be that there is a truth in a saying that if you close that (magickal) door once (by disrespect,laziness...) it's impossible to come back? Yes I know it sounds silly but I really have that impression now.

Never heard of that or anything similar...and I've been plenty lazy and disrespectful over the years without noticing any difference at all when I 'unlazied' again. But if you feel stuck I'd try changing to something radically different from what you did before (if only for a short time), maybe that will help?

[Nahemah]

Magick shares qualities with muscle,in my opinion.
If you work it you get results: strength,tone and fitness.
Stop and you soon get flabby and bent out of shape.

However,like muscle, magick has memory and it can be revived,given time,effort and direction.

If the old vibes aren't doing it for you anymore then explore what may excite you now and find something that will stimulate your mind as well as your memory. [thumbup]

[FreeSpirit]

Thanks everyone,
I'll try to take a different approach.

[Q789]

About 30 years ago, i too had something similar happen to me. I too could not find the same 'feeling' as before. However, when i changed my view, i opened it again. You see, you have changed, as you grow and mature, your perspective grows. this is another chapter in your life. In my case i made a vow to my HGA and i soon found a mgaickal order (OPA) that changed my view.
Perhaps you are at some piont, edge, turning point? Have you consulted the cards?

Once those doors are open- they never close.

Q

[MIddeM]

I had the same feeling once. You see, ceremonial magick has a lot of daily work. The point is to not let it be a routine.
No matter how repetive can it be, you need to make each ritual special. If you do it as routine then, yes, it will loose its meaning.

A solution is to try new rituals. If you do different thngs, your attention and interest in high magick will return.

Have you attained astral vision so far? Enough to be able to see the pentagrams at the LBRP?

[FreeSpirit]

About 30 years ago, i too had something similar happen to me. I too could not find the same 'feeling' as before. However, when i changed my view, i opened it again. You see, you have changed, as you grow and mature, your perspective grows. this is another chapter in your life. In my case i made a vow to my HGA and i soon found a mgaickal order (OPA) that changed my view.
Perhaps you are at some piont, edge, turning point? Have you consulted the cards?

Once those doors are open- they never close.

Q

Thank you very much for your reply. I suspected it was something like that. A year ago I almost joined a magical order, I was really excited about it and already saw all the possibilites and finally being in touch with people with the same interest. But the more I went on their meetings i realized it wasn't what I was looking for so that also came as disappointment. I'll consult the cards, can't believe i haven't already ...

[FreeSpirit]

I had the same feeling once. You see, ceremonial magick has a lot of daily work. The point is to not let it be a routine.
No matter how repetive can it be, you need to make each ritual special. If you do it as routine then, yes, it will loose its meaning.

A solution is to try new rituals. If you do different thngs, your attention and interest in high magick will return.

Have you attained astral vision so far? Enough to be able to see the pentagrams at the LBRP?

What you said is so true... and it did become a routine for me :/ At first I was trying to make it special, I did the whole temple set up but as the time went by and i had more responsibilites, I tried to...well , do things as fast as possible. In those first 5 years I was able to see pentagrams and everything seemed to be alive. The walls of the room seemed to disappear and it all had a really special feeling. If I was performing during the day, i closed the curtains, lit the candles (5), lit incense...which makes a lot of difference. Now my concentration is really bad,I only use incense and sometimes a candle. Sometimes I'm not even paying attention and thinking of something completely different *facepalm*
Good news is that I'm already preparing new rituals. It's obvious that I had to change things a lot. [bummed]
Thank you very much for your reply.