Inner child across past lives

[Tundrawolf]

I had the first of three early morning, sober visions, where my conscious attention was transported to a realm that is possibly inside of this planet.

In the visions, I saw a woman- she was the most beautiful woman I have seen in this lifetime (I saw her with true eyes, with spiritual eyes) she is only half human, half animal, and I share a heart with her, and she is quite powerful (has teeth and claws), and she was... Rather unhappy at me, and she was involved in an external spiritual attack on, what I thought was my "soul"- when I was religious, but turned out, was likely a clone body in the inner earth.

Recently, I began to be able to connect with her in order to discern, her view of the past life me, (from her perspective/understanding/consciousness) and I understand, this is not her fault, which made it easy to forgive and love her, and have empathy for her.

This spawned hundreds of pages in various forums about her, and another forum, and hundreds of vlogs, however recently, after esoteric help, meditations, and connecting with higher realms, and working with the dark in some cases, I discovered, that in a previous life, I was the creator of this woman I saw in the visions. As the memories began to return to me, from past lives, the previous version of myself, was in a laboratory, creating this woman, as a mate for himself. Also, I had an NDE when I was a child, and my consciousness, was transported somewhere- which I now realize, is the laboratory, where life is created (May not be on or in this planet.)

She was upset, because when I created her, I made her feel like an object- the "me" in that life was very pure, and innocent, and he loved her- so very much, she was his, "eve".

He still loves her- however, I discovered, when I drink too much alcohol, there is a dark version of myself, that comes out, and he tries to ruin my life in some ways, mostly by ruining relationships. Some times, hiding things from me on purpose, such as valuables, and things I am attached to, such as a useful watch that monitors body functions. And I have little/no memory of it.

I wondered what this was, for some time, and I recently discovered, that he is actually my abused inner child- as traditional religion had deeply traumatized me. My first response is usually rage and violence, however I have been trying a different approach, and did not want to hurt the guy, tried reasoning with him, but he is still upset.

Part of my religions inspired self-hatred, spawned in an "attack" on me, over twenty years ago, due to self condemnation- and I have been fighting my way back ever since- (The woman in the visions was a part of this, "Attack", she is over seven feet tall, and almost 600LBS of muscle- her words- five hundred forty six lbs, head is bear-sized but wolf shaped. I remember grieving in my spirit that women like her did not exist when I was a teenager, to me, she is inhumanly attractive, and deeply attached to my inner child, who used to be her mate) until recently, when I realized, much of my torment, is actually caused by my abused inner child- as I discovered- as revenge, for being miserable/self hating an innocent person.

FYI, my inner child, as my past life self, appeared to be human, and not wolf-person, however, I was shown that in part of my unseen DNA, that I do have some, "wolf" in my being, which resonates with the canine.

So, when doing past life therapy, it may be possible, that your inner child was abused- and could be self-sabotaging you without you being aware of it. If it is indeed a separate, acting consciousness, the damage it/them could do, if you unconsciously agree with all that they are doing.

A little self introspection may help.